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Day 16 and I miss my friends...


Colleen Roy

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My husband and I are on day 16 of our first Whole30. We are working hard to be successful and have only eaten out once-just the two of us. We've been invited to a local pub that has a wonderful outdoor deck twice in the last week and have turned down both invitations...not feeling confident that we'd make the right choices and afraid we might succumb to peer pressure. All our friends know we are doing this and no one is being negative about it. So why can't we go and relax in the warm sunshine and enjoy a lovely glass of ice water and the good company of our friends?

I miss hanging out with our friends! I need a shot of willpower!

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You should go! Eat at home before you leave so you aren't hungry and aren't tempted to munch on bad food while you are there. You can also order a club soda or seltzer with lime. Ask the server to put it in a cocktail glass for you. No one will even know you aren't drinking alcohol.

Isolating yourself socially isn't going to lead you to a healthy lifestyle.

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I agree with Michelle. Put a good plan in place for what will work with you. You could every work up a code word with your husband for "help! I'm caving!"

At pubs I eat a burger with no bun, sub salad for the fries. Or a salad (no dressing, no cheese, no croutons, please). Or just have a club soda with lime, like Michelle said (I still tip like I bought an actual drink). Or a cup of coffee (if you are having coffee).

Do you know the pub's menu well, or can you look at it online beforehand and decide what you will have?

Learning how to navigate social situations is helpful.

One (contradictory) last thought... if you really feel like this is just too new, still, and you don't want to try and do it in public, then listen to that.

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An alternative suggestion would be to decline things that you're not sure you can handle, and ten suggest an alternative activity for a future time and place. Invite a couple friends over for dinner, or to hang out at a coffee shop, or to go to a movie or play a board game or go for a hike or something.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Definitely don't stay home. I went to a group dinner on Tuesday night and found it to be easier than I thought. I was honestly really worried about giving in to one of my favorite adult drinks and was very tempted to stay home....but I couldn't, because I was slated to give a talk.

I ordered some unsweetened iced tea and enjoyed a good dinner. I wasn't bothered by the folks around me drinking their beers at all...it actually felt good to be sticking to the plan, very empowering actually!

And if you'd ever like to go out to eat with another whole30 compadre from the 603... :D :D

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The great thing is that you can probably find the menu ahead of time. So, go with a plan! Scour the menu in advance and plan out your food choices. There may already be a few things on the menu that are ok, or don't need much tweeking. It's a simple thing to ask for steamed veggies instead of whatever white starch they usually put out as a side, and just remember to ask how things are prepared. When it doubt, play the allergy card. If you tell them you are allergic to dairy and gluten, they will usually be extra certain not to mess up your orders. :D

As for the possibility of giving in to a drink, I agree that's tough. I went to a fundraiser at a local steakhouse/pub and it was tough to get through the 3 hours without having 2 chocolate martinis, but I did it. You are grown ups and you can make your own decisions and stick with thim.

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Here we are-have finished our first whole30 and only hung out with friends twice the entire time. Just got back from a "vacation"-ate what we wanted while we were out of town and enjoyed adult beverages-on our way home today, while discussing doing a second whole30 beginning tomorrow, we talked about what we are going to do in order to still see our friends-we are grown ups and we should be able to decide whether or not we are going to drink and not worry about what others think-because the reality is, no one really cares! So, that was that. Accepted an invitation to a bonfire/BBQ next Saturday and will NOT be drinking. NO big deal. I'll bring something compliant that I can share and we'll stay on track and enjoy our friends company. I'm not a hermit anymore! :D

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  • 2 weeks later...

I agree it's not good to keep passing on social invitations. It may seem odd at first, but trust me it gets easier. I just went out to dinner with my family. They ate. I had a glass of water. I did take a few bites of fresh fruit from my children's plates though. Not such a big deal. I went to a Trivia Contest during my first Whole30. Everyone was eating and drinking a ton. I had club soda and a salad with no dressing. No one cared.

I had a very thin friend many years ago. A guy. He NEVER ate when we went anywhere. I think he had some food allergies plus he just didn't eat a lot anyway. No one cared.

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