Compromises on what the kids eat?

[Betheranne]

So, I've been doing a Whole30 since July 1. For the most part I wanted to the entire family along for the journey.

 

Long story short it hasn't been happening. Now, I will say, our family diet at home is better than ever before. At home we are Whole30 compliant for the most part. I am completely. But my husband is also going cold turkey on nicotine (and ISWF recommends nicotine first than doing a Whole30, and he's an adult. I can't make choices for him). My husband is also currently home with the kids during the day. I didn't do good planning for week one. But I'm working on a much better meal plan for week 2, and utilizing Well Fed.

 

Last night the kids were running between my FIL's house and their friends' house next door. My kids are 6 and 10. I've reached a point where I'm comfortable keeping Whole30 at home, but not being as strict about it with them when we're not home. We eat the majority of our meals at home, so that means the majority of their eating will be Whole30. Has anyone else made a similar compromise?

[Born Sandy]

Our kids tend to want to eat most of what I cook (W30 since July 1 too) but I don't push it too much. They're normally paleo/primal anyway in their eating and I think this informs their other eating. My 5 year old came home today from her vacation care day and told me they had a barbeque there and all the kids were eating hot dogs but she asked for the sausage with some salad and no bread. I was very impressed that she made this decision on her own but I think when kids are exposed to healthy eating role modelling by their parents they tend to take this into other situations. My other thinking though is that childhood is meant to have some treats so we have a few nights a week where the kids might get fish and chips or, home made paleo style pizzas followed with a good quality ice-cream. I don't have any issues with that, I figure they have worked for it (a bit like a glass of wine on a Friday night for me after a hard week's work!  ).

[HealthyForPNG]

This is what I'm doing right now. Our whole had been eating a very standard American diet. I've made home strictly Whole30 compliant, even for the kids. We've had lots of whining and complaining about that, and I will admit it's a big jump to go from pb&j to this For my own sanity right now doing my first Whole30, I'm not arguing it outside the house. We grilled out yesterday with my brother-in-law and his family at a park. They brought things I had intentionally avoided, like hot dog buns, ketchup, kool-aid, and nutty buddys. I could have told my kids "no" to all those things, but I decided enjoying the day was more important for right now. I do see getting to a point where we work harder to avoid those things, but I think we will always have to balance a bit because my husband isn't 100% behind the rules, and our extended famil eats very S.A.D. We are also leaving the country next August, so they only have some many times to enjoy Mimi's banana pudding anyways. Mama just needs to work on perfecting a good copy-cat recipe that uses coconut milk and avoids the copious amounts of sugar for when we get to Papua New Guinea

[agtriv]

We just started our Whole30 on Monday and I decided that we couldn't have me eating one thing and everyone else eating junk, so I cleaned out the pantry and fridge. My two sons are actually doing really really well with it, but my 11-year-old daughter is having a very difficult time and was sobbing today--absolutely inconsolable. She keeps saying over and over how she hates paleo, which is understandable because she was by FAR the most carb-addicted. That girl would live on ramen noodles, mac and cheese, and microwave popcorn if I would let her!! After the grueling time we had during lunch today, I have decided that maybe it was a bit much to expect my husband AND all three kids to jump on board with this. I keep explaining to her why things are healthy or not healthy, and I think if I give her time, she will gradually come around. In the meantime, I am going to allow her some gluten-free bread products so that she isn't going through such a cold-turkey withdrawal. I think it will be better for all of us to allow this, because I can't have her just sitting around and crying and refusing to eat. I'm going to give it more time. I also will allow the kids to eat what is being served at birthday parties and such, but will probably feed them first so that they aren't very hungry and will be less likely to pig out. I think that is reasonable. After over a decade of eating S.A.D., I think it is OK if their diet is only 90% Whole30 compliant. I am still doing what is best for all of us.

[MrsStick]

I'd say you should start adding carb-y veggies immediately, if you haven't already. For everyone's sanity, GF breads will help for now, but phase in the squashes, sweet potatoes, parsnips, etc. Even do roasted veggie mashes so they feel like eating mashed potatoes. Start phasing out the GF bread and replacing it with the veggies slowly. 

 

As a former carb addict as a kid, I totally feel for her. The MSG and such in her favorite foods can be incredibly addictive, so be patient. It'll take a while to break those horrible addictions.

[Courtney Bush]

i completed my W30 in march and now I'm back on board for round 2.... i didn't force my family to be completely compliant last time, but since I'm the one cooking, it was mostly by default. prior to W30 i shifted my family (husband, 5 yr. old and twin 2-yr. olds) to a paleo/primal diet so the change wasn't too drastic, but getting to THAT point really was. We were def. living off of cheerios, gold fish and wheat bread up until that point and my daughter was, and still struggles, with being a carb-aholic. When we first converted to paleo in Oct. '12, i tried the tough-love, get it all out of the house tactic and in my opinion, that really was the only way to go about it for real. Yes, it was hard but if you don't have it, well then you don't have it and you have to choose something else or go hungry. Now, I have to say, I'm not quite as tough when we're out... but I've made peace with it. I feel comfortable knowing they eat well 90% of the time, and certainly better than most, if not all, of their friends. I'm teaching them the best way to treat their bodies, but ultimately it will be their choice whether or not they want to follow in my footsteps. My daughter still is a sucker for bread (I find that she hordes/sneaks it when we're at grandmom's or attacks one of her friends if they pull out a bag of pretzels!) but I've also heard her say more than once "I think I'm so cranky from all the sugar I've had" and then she'll make good choices -- that is the best reward to see her listening to her body!

[KnottyMama]

We just completed our first week of eating mostly Whole30.  We sipped up on a few things so I am going to regroup and start over this week.  I am having a hard time with my kiddos, but I am sticking to it.  I have been doing the same thing as most of you and relaxing about whole 30 for the kids when we  aren't at home.  My inlaws eat an extremely SAD diet and my kids like to walk over there a lot to visit Granny and Pawpaw.  I know they are snacking the whole time, but I know that I am establishing a healthy foundation at home and so are all of you!  I tell my kids  the reasons why I am making all these changes and they seem to get it.  They still complain sometimes when I pile veggies up onto their plates, but, hey, they are kids! The other day at the grocery store I explained to my 5yo ds why we dont get hot dogs anymore.  They were set up right next to beautiful cuts of meat so I asked him which one looked like it come right from an animal and of course he pointed to the steaks.  It was such a great way to get him to understand the difference between processed franken-meats and real meat.  

[salemsister]

This past weekend I decided to allow my 11 year old to ease up on the W30. She had completed 18 days and from day 14-16 had really not been eating much of anything. She is NOT a meat eater and while she likes fruits and veggies it was just not giving her enough nutrition. She loves eggs - but a kid can only eat eggs so many ways and so many times a day! She does like beef jerky and so I got her some because she was getting next to zero protein.

 

Since I told her we would keep her basically paleo but not strict W30 she has been so much more at ease. She's not asking for junk - just is happy now to have a few more options open to her if needed. We bought her some jerky for her school lunches and have been talking about other proteins we can include. Makes for a much happier and less stressed regimen at home. I want her to eat healthy - but not get worked up and upset over eating things. To me that is an eating disorder waiting to happen.

[jennrider]

The first two weeks of my first Whole 30 were tough on my kids. They had to try all kids of new recipes. Some were successful. Some were not. My hubby is not on board with paleo so I can remove all the junk, only to have it brought back in. Educating my kids about real food versus manufactured food has been the biggest help. They are able to make choices for themselves. I spent a lot of time with each of them pointing out effects of not so healthy choices. It is hard at parties or other schoool events, but I have heard my kids turn down cupcakes/gatorade because of the food dyes. I bring a cooler full of healthy choices to all of my kids soccer/football/baseball games. I used to hate the snack at the end of the game. Now I have an alternative if they choose it. Most of the time, they do. I have been eating this way for over a year and my kids have been really great about the changes. They are not 100% paleo, but they eat so much better than they did and they have a lot more knowledge to make better choices. We went on a huge road trip this summer and the effects of too many subpar meals were very obvious. We stopped at the Golden Arches for a potty break and my youngest son was horrified because he thought we were going to eat there. My kids were begging for salad and fruit by the end of the long car days. For me, arming my kids with knowledge is the best way to go. I'm not with them for every meal so teaching them to make good choices and providing plenty of options has worked best for me. They don't always make the best choice, but neither do I. It's a work in progress.

[Christina Cowell]

I'm working on switching my kids to JERF and not worrying (yet) about going strictly Primal or Paleo or Whole30.  The switch to JERF is hard enough!!! I let the kids eat out everything that we had in the house that was SAD, but let them know at the beginning of August that I wouldn't be bringing any SAD food into the house or buying it when we're out anymore.  We finally ate the last of the SAD this past week and so everything since then has been JERF.  They ARE. NOT. HAPPY! 

 

At this point in time I'm just sticking to what I originally said - I will not be buying any groceries that are not JERF.  I also will not allow my kids when they are with me to buy anything that is not JERF.  I haven't decided about when we go out to eat as a family.... I'd say that they have to eat JERF, but my hubby is still SAD so I probably won't win that one since he's paying! I am not worrying about what they eat when I am not around.... They go to their grandparents every Saturday and eat lunch and dinner there and grandma isn't on board with this.  Also, the two older kids are in secondary school and have access to buying their own junk food there.  Finally, I'm not going to impose my food rules on the kids' friends' parents as it is more work (and sometimes money) to eat this way - if they go to a friends' house they eat what the family there is eating... just like if their friends come to our house they will be eating JERF!

 

I have four things I AM going to do regarding their eating when I'm not around:

1) I'm not allowing anything they buy/are given that isn't JERF to come into our house (trash can at the door after being at grandma's!). 

2) I'm going to give grandma and their teachers an info sheet about the way we're eating and why with references

3) I'm going to work on giving my kids a proper education regarding food so that they can start making informed decisions when they are not with me.  I'm not expecting these lessons to go fast... probably a mini lesson once a week and I don't think that they will be making good food decision anytime soon (maybe next year! lol). 

4) I'm not giving them their pocket money to go buy food with (I have it in my bedroom because of theft from each other).  When they ask for money they have to tell me what it's for and I say "yes" or "no". 

[Mary Carmosino Beougher]

Since my husband and I are both doing this, my 3 1/2 year old is eating whole30 at home except for her bowl of oatmeal mixed with applesauce and raisins for breakfast. I can't get her to eat anything else in the mornings! Her mid morning snack at school is also out of my control, and I'm giving her organic whole milk. I consider it a victory that she asks me for bell pepper - to dip in mayo of course- and other veggies. Her idea of a snack is also walnuts and raisins. Right now, I'm just going to keep the junk out of my home and not stress over what she eats when she isn't with me. Once our whole30 is over I'm going to see if I can get her off the oatmeal by paleofying pancakes and muffins to start and working her up to other foods. She got sick one time eating eggs when she was about two and hasn't touched them since so my plan is to start with sausages, etc. even with the stuff she eats that I personally cringe at, I'm one proud mama when people tell me how healthy my kid eats and they can't believe a 3 year old wil willingly eat veggies.

[QuakerMom]

I hear you about the oatmeal.

My kids -- 5 yr old son especially -- beg for oatmeal nearly every day. They do love eggs, bacon, fruit, tomatoes, as well as coconut milk smoothies, but we haven't totally eliminated the oatmeal yet, and i'm not sure if i will. I actually don't think it's that bad for them, but they have to have brown sugar with it, and that bothers me more than the oats. If i could get them to eat it w/applesauce, bananas or raisins I could accept it a few times a week.

The past few days have been great though -- they've had almost nothing off the paleo plan -- and I've noticed my 5 yr old's behavior has also calmed down considerably. The week or two prior, I had made exceptions and let them have ice cream 4 times in less than two weeks. My son seems to be sensitive to both gluten and dairy, and I think the spike in general rowdiness and behavior challenges may well have been exacerbated by the ice cream treats.

[melbournegirl]

You could try some squash soups thickened with a bit of coconut flour... I love my breakfast soups. Reminds me of oatmeal. I usually add ground or sliced cooked meat to mine for the protein.

Mild vege curries with sweet potato and chicken are another similar alternative. And I also like scrambled eggs and grated veg with raisins or blueberries and cinnamon.

I haven't been brave enough to try converting my kids yet

[KellyF]

I'll echo the sentiments of the other posters who say "every little bit counts" and "do the best you can."  100% compliance can be really tricky with kids. There always seem to be other adults who interfere (school staff, grandparents, friends, oh my!).

 

We have done three W30s in my family and when we are not on a W30, I cook very, very close to the plan. My kids eat tons of veg, whole fruit and meat. I have come to realize, though, that I can't get my kids enough fat to maintain their weight (those skinny little buggers!) without a coconut milk smoothie with added coconut oil and nuts. So even if it is off plan, I give them their fat cannon.

 

Making the change from SAD is incredible for your children even if there are occasional misfires and junk food infiltrations. Your kids will be getting high quality nutrition, and they will be learning how to eat for the rest of their lives. Keep at it!