Obese and weight loss

[BRCrystal]

So I'm on day 18 today.  Ok, I get the "Whole 30" is not about losing weight but rather about feeling great.  My scale has been hidden by my husband, and at day 18 I do notice a change in my body... BUT... I started Whole 30 at 223.5 lbs on a 5'4" frame.  

 

I knew going into this that Paleo was a perfect diet for someone like me with Insulin Resistance as my friends brought me up to speed on the diet about a year ago.  (As luck would have it all of my friends are on a Paleo diet of some form or another).  When I had my "ah-ha" moment, I asked my coworker where to start my journey, and she recommended It Starts with Food.  I set a start date, and 18 days in, I haven't looked back. Yet I'm struggling with something.

 

I need to lose weight and eat a clean, healthy diet in order to regain my health back.  Yes, for me, it is about weight loss. Maybe after 40 or so lbs come off and I'm at 180 lbs, I won't need to focus on the scale anymore.  Or maybe it's at 60lbs weight loss and I'm at 160lbs before I can put the scale away for good.  For me, my change is about getting healthy and getting to a reasonable and healthy weight.... I feel like only then can focus more on the Whole 30 mantra of feeling good...  I've seen the before and after pictures of a 155lb woman before starting her journey and a 155lb woman 6 months later and there is a stark difference in her body.  Or the success stories of people losing that 10-15lbs they wanted to lose.  I can't relate to these people, and in my lonely search I've had to DIG to find people that had a substantial amount of weight to lose and obtained their goals with a Paleo diet. Somehow I feel alone.

 

And don't get me wrong, I am feeling good already and my body is changing, but I will never be happy weighing over 200lbs and I have a hard time believing that I will be happy at 180lbs as well. Maybe?  I also can't just do 30 days of Whole 30 and expect my life to change.  I need to do at least a Whole 100 or longer.  Ok, so I may celebrate a little after Whole 30 because our summer vacation is the weekend after my 30 day end date - but I don't want to stop there.  I want to keep eating like I am on Whole 30 because I am too afraid to start making substitutions. I am afraid a little bit of cheese on a meal, just a little treat, would cause me to veer off course as I have so many times in the past.  Plus, Whole 30 has been working for me, and I've been able to adapt it into my life. 

 

I guess what I'm saying is, I think that, when you're morbidly obese like me, it is important to have weight loss too on a health journey.  I don't put myself in the category as someone who may only have 10-15lbs to lose or "just wants to tone up".  I'm never going to be proud to show off my body if I'm still a large woman that has to shop in plus size clothing stores.  I also want to be that person that says, "I've lost XX pounds and I look and feel great".  I can't see how this isn't about weight loss for me when my heavy weight and unhealthy diet are the source of so many health problems.  And I want to feel attractive and look good in clothes. 

[bhallyktkt]

I totally get it.  Completely.  Not getting on the scale everyday is incredibly difficult for me.  I want the immediate visual proof that what I am doing is working.  But, I haven't.  And I won't.  Not in this Whole 30.  I know what I started at. 

 

I think the idea behind the no scale in this 30 days is rather than focusing on the weight loss, it's focusing on how eating healthy makes you feel and thus changing your relationship with food from scale focused to healthy eating.

 

And truly with the science behind low carb eating, you will lose weight.  And eventually you will be able to say you lost XX pounds.  But, more importantly, you will be able to say you didn't diet.  You changed your eating habits to healthy food.

 

And who knows, perhaps at the 30 day mark you challenge yourself to see how long you can go without getting on the scale while maintaining your new healthy eating habits?

[sunnymama]

You are in good company!  I have more to lose than you and weight loss is definitely on my mind....like daily.  The before pics I put up are incredibly difficult for me to even look at.  This is going to be a long process but you are not alone at all, and consecutive Whole30's is a great idea...well I hope so since it's what I am doing too.  Each one you will find new ways to take it to the next level.  For me that's exercise, i have to work my way back to fit and I think the pounds will really start disappearing in the process.  And then for the third Whole30 I'll re-evaluate and step it up again.  

 

All of that said, I feel Iike there is a great value in not focusing on the weight loss the first Whole30.  It gives you not a long time but just long enough to vastly improve eating habits and getting to feel better.  And in 4 weeks unless someone was on some crazy unsustainable diet...how much would have really lost only to likely regain it?  You're already loads ahead of others who do not think there is anything wrong with the standard American diet.  Good for you for being so smart and seeing that Paleo would be best.  Don't give up now!           

[BRCrystal]

I think both of you helped me out, so I'm glad I posted. I'm focused on weight loss and the long term.  I should focus more on the short term and not focusing on weight loss while on Whole 30.  At least the first 30 days.  And it is good to know I'm not alone. I can relate to not wanting to look at the before pictures. They're in my phone, and I shudder to come across them. 

 

I don't know if I can challenge myself not to get on the scale after the 30 days, but I would like to weigh myself less - at least for longer intervals to avoid getting defeated by not "seeing" immediate numbers on the scale and not focusing on how my body is changing.

 

I do know that, without a doubt, I want to lose weight too. 

[Carlaccini]

Hey Crystal,

 

You are definitely are not alone here.  One of the first things I would here from people if I let them know my weight was - yeah but you're tall.  Still, I don't think a 5'9" woman should weigh 255lbs.  I don't care what anyone says.  Not that I believe in BMI at all, but I see pictures.  I was big.  I felt so big that I didn't take before pictures.  (There are some random fully clothed before vacation pictures) Right now I'm a little more comfortable in my skin and feeling more confident but It's been a year since that measurement, and 3 whole 30's later (not strict paleo inbetween, but paleo-ish) and I am 30lbs down.  Which I am happy about.  However I am trying to come to terms with my frame these days.  Just to put my body frame into perspective here - I lost 30lbs and only lost 1 dress size.  There are others that I know lose the same amount of weight and have lost 6 dress sizes.  Again it becomes  numbers game.  And yet it shouldn't be.

 

I also know if I step on the scale and that number has gone up I get anxious and start mentally beating myself up.  Then I reason with myself - I haven't had a BM today, my period is just around the corner, and I just ate.  So stop worrying.  But the niggling voice in the back of my brain says "yes but you just gained 4lbs".  Then I start obsessing.  So in order to stop I have put away the scale.  From time to time I will step on it just cause I'm curious.  But I use it to give me an rough idea.

 

I too would love to see One-derland some day.  But I have tried to put the focus more on my health (long-term migraine sufferer) than the number on the scale.

 

So yes use the whole 30 for your short term goals.  But use what you have found out about your body during that time to focus on your long term goals.

 

Best of luck!

[sunnymama]

I did not take measurements for this first Whole30 that I just finished but will for the second one, in fact I need to do that tonight.  Between that and every 30 day picture comparison I am REALLY going to try to forget about the scale as is recommended here.      

[Tom Denham]

We ask people not to focus on weight loss, not to step on a scale, not to weigh and measure food or count calories because these things interfere with....... losing weight for one thing. If the methods of Weight Watchers and the 1000 other programs out there were as good, we would not have so many people coming here, adopting the Whole30 approach, and becoming successful.

 

You can weigh yourself every day outside of a Whole30, but it will make things worse, not better. The scale is your enemy. The meal template is your friend.

[Joey]

In my opinion, it's recommended that we not focus on weight loss not because that focus is inherently wrong, but because that's exactly what most diet programs are based on. And unless we've been living under a rock until last week, most of us are very affected by that way of thinking. And it's flawed. It completely ignores the fact that over (or under) weight is a symptom of poor health. It actually seems to reverse that fact- what comes to my mind are commercials for weight loss products where the supermodel states "I lost 120 pounds and now I sleep better, have more energy, and I enjoy life!" when it should really be more like "I'm sleeping better, being more active, enjoying life... and so I lost 120 pounds."

                                                      

For many of us, excess weight is our most visible symptom of poor health. So of course that's going to be a focus. For others, it could be poor skin, pain, mood swings, etc.

It is not wrong for us to be looking for changes in our symptoms. The danger is in looking at that one thing as the be all end all, which is what "diet programs" do. It sets us up to think we're done when that symptom is gone, sending us into that cycle of stopping a program when we think we're done, going back to a less than healthful lifestyle,ending up back where we started and needing another program. We're conditioned to look at health as a state instead of a continuum, and that is one of the things I think Whole9 is trying to deprogram when it encourages throwing away the scale.

 

That, and what Tom said. Chemistry. Aside from the mental cycle of dieting, stressing about whether we're losing weight or not makes our cortisol all wonky, prompting our bodies to store fat. Biologically, stress=famine.

 

I don't think we're being asked to not care whether we're over or under weight, I think we're just being encouraged to keep our priorities straight and look at our health realistically. 

[Joey]

Sorry, I didn't realize this was on your log and not in a public forum. So I should really say hi before I start shoving my two cents in your face.  Hi!

[sdauer21]

Hi CrystalIF - Your post resounded with me so much, I just wanted to pop in and say hi.  I feel like I could have written your entire post, so know that you are not alone in your feelings.  I, too, am trying to focus on the positive aspects that will result in the completion of Whole30, knowing that in the back of my mind, one of my biggest motivators is to jump start my weight loss.  I, too, can feel some changes in my body, but having snuck a few trips to the scale, am feeling utterly defeated by the lack of change.

 

Since this is your log, not mine, I won't wax on...  But wanted you to know how much I appreciated your post!  Hang in there! I have completed a Whole30 about a year ago, and knowing the physical results are what keep me on track this time.  I never felt better then I did after the first time - sleep, mood, headaches gone, all of it.  So it is worth it, without a doubt in my mind.  But I, too, know the frustration you are feeling.  I'm happy to pop in and offer support, if that helps any!

 

Sonya 

[snailytrail]

This is definitely about weight loss for me too, really. I want better health, but I want to lose weight.

 

At my biggest I was 210lbs. I'm now 165 (I lost that weight doing low fat/high carb but I literally could only lose a pound a month so it was very disheartening). I am still far too big for my frame though I appreciate that lots of people would kill to be 165. And I do feel SO much better at this weight. But yes, I'm still noticeably overweight, can't wear some of the things I want to wear, I've been overweight 20 years and right now I cannot even imagine how great I'm going to feel if I can get off the last 30 pounds.

 

I'm on day 8 today, my clothes do feel noticeably looser. I'm thrilled. I so, so want to just whizz forward, say, 100 days and see more changes, and weigh myself but I know I have to be patient. Anyway, good luck to you, I've seen all sorts of people your size on various paleo forums who have radically changed their health and how they look, I think too if you're bigger to start with you lose weight faster, so don't despair. This will change your life as it is going to change mine.

[Bet]

It's fine to want to lose weight, because if you are overweight, that's not healthy and W30 is about getting healthier. But we are in training now. We have to unlearn what  we've been doing our whole lives and learn the new way.And not just our brains, our bodies have to learn. Our hormones have to adjust, our internal clocks have to be reset. That might not all happen in enough time to lose a bunch of weight in 30 days. But if we do learn and adjust, we can keep it up and continue until this becomes our new lives. And you will continue to lose weight because you are finally doing it right.

[BRCrystal]

I changed the title of my post because some comments seemed to respond to the fact that I was talking about "the scale" and didn't read my entry or responded as if I hadn't read the book.  This entry was just a moment of me feeling incomplete in my journey as I have a long one ahead of me.  And I do want to add that I have not stepped on the scale. I'm wearing jeans that I haven't been able to wear in over 2 years, so I know I've lost inches. Some people stare at me, not certain if I look different or not.  There hasn't been a drastic change, but I'm only 22 days in and still have a long road ahead of me.  I was just feeling defeated in the moment by my long road, but I still persevere. 

 

And it is good to know I'm not alone.  People that are overweight, no morbidly obese, know a pain that is hard for others to fathom.  My husband doesn't understand why this isn't easy for me.  My friends "don't get it".  For me, I finally got tired of paying for lab work and medicine that could be avoided by eating right.  To those in the same boat as me, keep it up, we'll get there.