My friend is sabotaging her Whole30

[lbosmer]

I finally got through to one of my friends! After months of talking up the Paleo diet and Whole30 my very good friend is now doing her very first Whole30. It was a proud moment for me when she texted me to tell me she was starting this past Monday. But things went south from there...

 

She claims to have read ISWF cover to cover. But she is Instagraming all of her meals and I have to say they are not Whole30 at all. Smoothies for breakfast, snacking on Terra Sweet potato chips, and (cringe) BANANA PANCAKES!!!!

 

How do I approach this. I want her to get all the benefits of the Whole30 but don't want to sound like a bit%$ OR turn her off from eating this way.

 

Help Please!

[Robin Strathdee]

I'm sorry to hear that - it's frustrating to think you've made inroads and then to see that maybe you haven't. Here's my opinion:  She probably really does want to make the change, but she's probably terrified of how different this picture looks from her every day.  Maybe start with some gentle suggestions:

Hey, I know you're really excited about this change. I'm excited for you! And I really want you to get the most benefit out of it.  Smoothies for breakfast are really not your best option. The Whole30 folks say....  Perhaps we could come together and brainstorm some breakfast ideas?

 

Then rinse and repeat as needed?  Blame the tough love on us (the rules), but be the friend willing to help her succeed anyway.

[Lizitea]

my suggestion -- tell her once  very clearly and then stay out of it,  we can't police each other and trying is miserable, can ruin perfectly sweet friendships. 

 

she is not stupid, if you tell her once and she doesn't hear you, she is not ready to, she doesn't want to

[Xandra]

I wouldn't say anything directly. I would encourage her nonstop and maybe throw in the occasional "I thought about making banana pancakes today, but then I realized that's not Whole30 either so I made this other thing instead."

 

Really, I made so many mistakes my first time around and it took me a long time to really understand SWYPO and why not smoothies and why can't I snack on dried fruit/nuts/seeds all day... but if someone had come along and picked apart everything I was doing wrong, it would have taken the wind out of my sails. It's a journey, and if she wants to, she'll get to be more of a perfectionist, but I believe the best use of your energy as her friend is nothing but encouragement.

[Revived]

I find that a large percentage of people out there that are doing whole30 but not on these forums do stuff like smoothies. If it was my friend and I introduced them, I would probably give them a little "hey, just so you know, smoothies aren't on the plan and here's the good logical reason why." And then after that, I personally would drop it. People are gonna do what they're gonna do. If later, she is struggling and coming for advice, I'd bring it up in that case. "Why don't you try it this way and see if that makes a difference?" But otherwise, live and let live I say.

[jent103]

I'm with the others - I would pick one thing (whether it's the snacking or the smoothies or SWYPO or whatever), mention it in love, state that the forums have been a huge help in figuring out the best way to go about things, and then drop it unless she asks you for advice. I don't think anyone is motivated to change by someone overseeing everything they eat (even though it's tempting and frustrating when she's putting it out there!).

 

I was introduced to Whole9/Whole30 by a friend, but she did her first Whole30 over a year before I did mine. I was interested in eating healthy (which for me at the time meant whole foods, but included grains and dairy), but wasn't ready to go Paleo until it just clicked. Even then, I transitioned into it over a couple months. Everyone has to go at their own pace and learn for themselves. If my friend had commented on my food choices, it would have just turned me off.

[Psirene]

Your friend didn't happen to read that rip off cookbook with the same name, instead of the Hartwigs' book? That could explain it (I'm guessing... I've heard that cookbook is full of so-not-compliant recipes).

[1Maryann]

Your friend didn't happen to read that rip off cookbook with the same name, instead of the Hartwigs' book? That could explain it (I'm guessing... I've heard that cookbook is full of so-not-compliant recipes).

Good thinking, Psirene.  That's what it sounds like.

[MylaBean]

Your friend didn't happen to read that rip off cookbook with the same name, instead of the Hartwigs' book? That could explain it (I'm guessing... I've heard that cookbook is full of so-not-compliant recipes).

I'm not aware of this "rip off" cookbook.

[GFChris]

I'm not aware of this "rip off" cookbook.

The rip off is called "It Starts with Food Cookbook," by New Health CookBooks. It in no way shape or form is affiliated with the Hartwigs or Whole30, and many of the recipes are far from compliant.

[MylaBean]

The rip off is called "It Starts with Food Cookbook," by New Health CookBooks. It in no way shape or form is affiliated with the Hartwigs or Whole30, and many of the recipes are far from compliant.

Thanks for the info....I will stay away...

[bookworm05]

I would probably say something but in a way that doesn't make it seem like I'm nagging her (it's hard, I know). At random, totally unrelated to what she was doing, I might be like "omg I miss banana pancakes today. I can't wait until Whole30 is done." and see what she says. She's probably well aware they're not actually allowed on the plan and is just choosing to ignore that aspect of it. And if she legitimately didn't realize it she'll figure it out then. It would bug me too though, but people can only change as much as they want to and think they are capable of...

 

And perhaps she'll get better with time. Maybe Whole30 exactly as stated is too strict for her this time, but in a few months she'll want to try again and again and eventually she'll get there.