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Wine: an update and some realizations


bibliophile

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I just stumbled into this thread and have read it from beginning to end. What great insight and thoughtful writing. I am on day 25 and yes I love wine also. I also use to drink wine almost every night - no more than 2 glasses but rarely only 1. I would sometimes then not drink for periods and then gradually find myself back to 2 glasses nightly. 

 

I was a little concerned about giving it up for this time but it has been not as hard as I thought. I miss bread and cheese way more! I do intend to reintroduce wine at some point but it won't be first on my list. I'll let you know how it goes!

 

To the person who said her wine group broke up: so sorry that happened. It is interesting to me how folks react when someone decides not to consume alcohol. My husband and I pal around with 3 other couples. When we started hanging years and years ago one of the men did not drink due to allergic reactions. No big deal to the rest of us. Now we have 3 people who do not drink - still no big deal. But the wife of the newest member of our group to stop drinking told me recently that some pals of her husband that he use to hang with no longer include him. THEY are apparently uncomfortable with his not drinking. I think that indicates their own issues with alcohol. 

 

It is a journey for sure. Keep up the good work and thanks so much for sharing.

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Had some bubbles with my husband last night for Valentine's Day, along with sushi and dessert.  It all made me feel like crap.  I don't have the same pull toward alcohol that I do toward chocolate, for instance (sugar demons!) but I think I'll do without for the most part.  It doesn't add much, if anything, to my life.  It's really just the idea of it and the celebratory feel of glass in hand that I'll miss.

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Oops, I posted without having read all the brutally honest posts.  This is a fantastic thread.  I do not have the issues with alchohol that I do with sugar and carbs (they fill all the holes you all mention wine filling for you - celebration, comfort, stress reduction, privilege) butI really get the grown-up, romantic/ secret society appeal of a cocktail or a glass of wine.  I never drank (really, never) until I was almost 40, and met my husband.  He's a real vinophile; I'd say he has an alcohol dependency, and is possibly a functioning alcoholic.  Wine and cocktails became an important part of our lives, and I found myself drinking a glass every night with dinner, sometimes after a g&t or some other cocktail.  Not long ago, I decided to stop.  It made me tired and lower functioning, not to mention biger around the middle, and I didn't see any particular gain.  Sure, it took the edge off my intensity (grandma Susie, I totally get you there) and it was a sort of sharing that I had never really experienced, since I had never really drunk.  But it wasn't enough.  My father was an alcoholic, my grandmother a wildly volatile binge drinking society lady, and various members of my family had the Irish curse to one degree or anothe.  Seeing my grandmother at her worst certainly kept me from developing a friendly relationship with alcohol, but food took its place.  My mother eschewed alcohol and swore she'd never be like her own mother, and turned to valium and oxycontin instead.  And this behind the walls of a million dollar home.  It's everywhere.  It's insidious, and it's marketed brilliantly, and we don't know how to handle being raw and present in the world, so we try to dull our intensity.  Grandma Susie, a therapist friend once told me that he learned a trick for that kind of obsessive thought process.  He'd give himself 15 minutes to obsess or "focus.  If, at the end of 15 minutes, that line of thinking had not improved his life in some way, or brought him something positive, he made himself stop.  The first time it took something like 215 attempts to actually curb the negative spiral, but the next time it took less.  Now he can do it in one try  Apparently, it's a kind of muscle.  It requires training, like a mental emotional gym.  I have had varied success with it, but I haven't been as dsciplined as he was.  My ex MIL was a self-help author, and she used to talk about "acting as if". It's similar to my friend's method, in that you practice mental discipliine by turning away from the negative.  It's not like pretending everything is ok when it's not (which is often what leads to self-soothing in the form of addiction in the first place), but rather mental training.  I think it's definitely possible, but it isn't easy.  Worth it, though.  I'm so impressed with all of you; Sassy, Grandma Susie, Biblio, you've laid it all out there, and your courage and strength really shine through.  I'm going to take that strength and try to apply it to my own struggle with food - that's my demon.  I'm starting to call myself a writer now, and I want to take the energy I use hiding from the world, and turn it into creating other worlds...:).  Good luck, and I look forward to reading more here. 

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Thank you all for this thread, I have just read every word of it with great interest. Giving up gin & wine, I thought, was going to be the hardest part of my W30 experience as my partner & I like to drink. We very rarely drink to excess much preferring to savour what we do drink but just drinking on the weekends was turning into every evening we are together. I believe it was having quite a negative effect on my waistline and probably my sleep patterns too. We both had the feeling we were overdoing it so he has given up the booze with me for the 30 days. I'm also swithering about when to reintroduce wine, I'm quite enjoying not drinking at the moment and it's definitely not the first thing I intend to go back to (I'm saving that for a milky coffee). After reading all the comments here i think I will leave it a wee while longer than the end of my 30 days. 

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Hi all. I'm Day 6 into my first Whole 30. I have cut alcohol entirely with the exception of V day right before I started about 2 weeks ago. I have no issues not drinking when I say I'm going thirty days without it but I'm scared afterwards. I typically have 2-3 glasses 4-5 nights a week. I never just have one. I would love to be able to have an occasional glass once in a blue moon but I'm not sure I can. I've been already thinking about what I'm going to do a lot. I really want to keep alcohol off limits unless it's truly a special occasion. We go to Iceland in April so I know I will enjoy some beverages. My plan is to keep it very off limits but we will see. I am a wine addict through and through. I know if I can't keep it in check, I will have to keep it out of my life completely

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I reat thread. Read it start to finish. Both parents as well as step mom were alcoholic. As a kid, I was required to get my moms beer and then as an adult I continued this as she was disabled and not able to get it. Time and time again, she would say beer and cigs were her reason to live(I know she was joking, but really????).

So I grew up being my moms drug dealer. Currently, I have big time food and wine/beer issues. I have 1 large glass of wine at night. I do not get slammed at all BUT I look forward to it and kinda panic a bit if I am out as I like to have a bottle "just in case". I have a stressful job, as we all seem to.

I know coming from my history I need to NOT drink at all.

Alcohol has really affected my family as I saw my step mom die a horrible death from liver failure and I suspect my 32yo nephew 3 weeks ago died of alcohol related issues.

Jesus, I write this and it is CRAZY that I drink at all then again there is no surprise.

I know what I need to do. I tell myself that a w30 is so easy except giving up a little wine after a hard day a work. Never to drink again is the solution. It is for the future.

I don't think I am an alcoholic but the potential is there and getting closer. I am aware, and I can change anything I am aware of.

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I know what I need to do. I tell myself that a w30 is so easy except giving up a little wine after a hard day a work. Never to drink again is the solution. It is for the future.

I don't think I am an alcoholic but the potential is there and getting closer. I am aware, and I can change anything I am aware of.

cayenne, thank you so much for posting. whole30 is exactly what made me so much more aware. I sat with those thoughts for a while and then really started to dig into it and well, you read the thread and you know my story :) 

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HI all 

I have just found this thread and skimmed through it - will read through later

I am on day 12 of my second w30 

I found no drinks on my 1st w30 was almost a relief - in the same way I found not weighing myself was a relief 

BUT last night all I wanted to do was curl up with a small glass of brandy(I DIDN'T) - mot sure if this was about the taste or the routine/habit

The whole thought of needing a drink worried me

I am planning on doing w30 until Easter (which is actually closer to 50 days) and as we are going on holiday the only thing I was thinking of reintroducing was a glass of wine or a brandy - my husband and I enjoy a drink on holiday (the rest of the w30 lifestyle is fine with me)

Having read your thoughts I am going to have a long hard think about my own situation

Thanks for this

I am sure I will post more

Zoe 

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So I have decided to be wine-free March 1. I also am re-committing to W30-90 as well. The rest of the diet changes are easy as I have said. But no wine is a real issue after a long day at work and a 15 month old puppy staring at me wanting to exercise. I was successfull the last time I did w30 with weight loss but I have been very stubborn about letting go of the wine. Even rationalizing less "dinner" so I could have a small glass(calorie saving). Good grief.

I am having a hip replacement hopefull in late April or May so I want to be in fighting shape for the recovery. No better way than to eat great food.

This will be hard for me-this last year has been harder though with hubby losing a leg, a new puppy and most recently the death of my nephew at 32. I have time for me now-everyone is healthy and I can focus on getting ME back. What that looks like, I don't know yet.

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So I started yesterday with w30 and no wine. Kinda hard Sunday nite, bad weather and nothing to do-bored. BUT was drinking sletzer water and made a great flank steak stir fry! Great food.

I am debating to take this to the log page but it seems hard to access a particular thread so I am just make randon updates here, if no body cares.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So had a "false start" March 1, but have had a 5 day stretch since and including Sunday! Good week overall re W30. Feel OK. Last time, if I could get a week in, I was in good shape habit wise. Been stressful this week at work, my sisters rollercoaster recovery from the death of her son.

Reading "Drink" as well. Good book. scarey what the media tells us. Makes you want to live in a hole:)

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I am on day 4 and like many of you all what I miss most is my red wine. I'm committed to doing this. Last night I tried kombucha and likes it and have always drank my seltzer water when not drinking wine. But I don't want to give it up completely either afterward but would like to be able to control when and how much I want to drink.

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I did my fourth W30 in January and haven't had a drink since Christmas. I think I prefer life this way. And I keep wondering, "What would a year without alcohol look like for me?" I've been asking it often enough that I've decided to give it a try. One whole year of holidays and festivities and social occasions and not, without drinking, will teach me even more about myself and my relationship with alcohol.

 

Saying no to it forever is more than I can wrap my head around, but one year could be very interesting. And I'm nearly a quarter of the way there already.

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What an awesome committment, LadyM!

 

I'm curious to see how that turns out, if you want it less and less, if it tastes the same when you're done, if you view people who do drink differently.

 

Definitely post about it as you go!!

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Thanks, ladyshanny. I will keep y'all posted on my log. I appreciate the encouragement!

 

I had a terrific thought on a walk this evening: beyond the obvious health benefits of giving my body a break from alcohol for one year, what other benefits might it give me? Better focus and less procrastination, perhaps? This is a crucial year for me professionally, so it's an opportune time to have greater wherewithal to push through some long-term projects. I'm pretty excited about this process of discovery, actually. 

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I did my fourth W30 in January and haven't had a drink since Christmas. I think I prefer life this way. And I keep wondering, "What would a year without alcohol look like for me?" I've been asking it often enough that I've decided to give it a try. One whole year of holidays and festivities and social occasions and not, without drinking, will teach me even more about myself and my relationship with alcohol.

 

Saying no to it forever is more than I can wrap my head around, but one year could be very interesting. And I'm nearly a quarter of the way there already.

Me too! Haven't drank since NYE and it seems like going a whole year would be kinda neat!

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Me too! Haven't drank since NYE and it seems like going a whole year would be kinda neat!

I've had one glass of wine since January 5th....had it last week. And the next day I had full blown seasonal allergies. So......I won't be drinking again until at least mid to end of May. So horrid feeling. Certainly doesn't make me want to run out and pour myself a glass!

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Re going off alcohol

I have in the past just stopped drinking on several occasions (for around a year or more)

Each time I have said I don't drink - end of story / no explanation required

I have found with the W30 it is only 30 days and far to easy to slip back in to a glass of wine (2-3 etc) - FOR ME it is too easy to say I'm not drinking this month / or I'm taking a break from alcohol

I have made my decision to stop completely - it is a rule / hard fast

It messes me up - I look horrible - It does nothing for my personally - and it makes me weak (maybe not on the 1st day but eventually) which inevitably leads me to bad food choices

Have a kombucha instead !!

Zoe

:)

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What is this drink? Kombucha? I have seen it around-is that the fermented stuff?

No wine for me x 2 weeks. REALLY wanted some yesterday as the puppy was going crazy with the "zoomies". I just went to bed instead!

I think I feel better knowing I can do it. They had a segment today on NPR re alcohol moderation-some folks have to work so hard at being moderate that they just abstain-sounds familiar. These folks are not at the far end of consumption but are social drinkers who want to "moderate". They seem to be concerned enough to want to scale back but have trouble.

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My issue is not with moderation. I actually don't have a problem drinking moderately. I've just come to the conclusion that drinking at all makes me less, not more, healthy. So why not stop altogether for a while and see what happens?

 

And yes, kombucha is fermented tea. I brew it at home, but unfortunately, it's not served in pubs where I live. :(

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Had my first cocktails since my whole 30 on Saturday.  Sad to say I didn't miss a beat lol BUT i am definitely aware of how it affects my energy the next day.  It basically was a waste of the day in that I was tired.  I'm definitely going to be keeping my drinking at minimum as I have far too many other things I would rather do than deal with a slight headache and wanting to go to sleep.  I will definitely be keeping it to special occasions or a special night out.  

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