PamAgain

[PamH]

Back for a reboot of sorts.

 

Ended a 60 day Whole30 in May after being compliant for 56 of those 60 days.  I was never able to string 30 consecutive days together but the positive effects were still so very evident.  My sugar cravings disappeared.  My moods greatly stabilized.  Food tasted so good and I wanted to eat yellow peppers or a pear instead of chocolate chips or frosting.

 

Still, I slowly fell back into old habits.  About 5 months later and I'm back to getting a large portion of my daily calories from sugars and nut butters.  Back to serial snacking instead of meal eating.  Back to restricting my eating and exercising to make up for calorie binges.  Back to depressed moods, (small) weight gain and low energy.

 

Today is Day1:

 

Woke up at 5:45am to get the dogs out and start the day with my 3 kids.  Brewed some Crio Bru with a few Tbs full fat coconut milk.  I probably should have eaten breakfast, but I just wasn't feeling it.  I'm wondering if my appetite would stabilize if I ate breakfast within an hour of waking?  Typically, I don't eat until 9 or even 11am.  I often graze for a few hours and feel badly about it.  Then, dinner time rolls around with the family and I'm not wanting to eat much more than some vegetables.  The cycle continues the following day...

 

I ate spicy rogan josh with wilted spinach for my first meal.  I love leftovers!  I had spooned up some Pakstani Kima and taken a bite when I remembered (grass fed) full fat yogurt was an ingredient.  So, that went back for someone else to eat and I pulled out the beef dish.  Some would say I blew it in the first few hours, but I'm not freaking out.   

 

Snacked on an Asian pear.  

 

I went grocery shopping and avoided buying all the things I would normally buy:  all organic, of course.  a haha  I emptied my refrigerator of my opened full fat grass fed yogurt, cheeses, homemade granola bars, etc and put whatever I could in the freezer.  Ouch.  I'm blessed to have the ability to just toss a bunch of food and restock with Whole30 options.  I did not throw out or freeze the chocolate chips or other chocolates I have piled in a basket.  Let's hope that was not a mistake.  I use it for baking for the kids.  I don't eat cereal or crackers so that all stayed.  

 

Here I go again.  Baking a squash to use as my bowl for leftover rogan josh.

 

Wound up eating a boatload of butternut squash and broccolini pan sauted with garlic.  Blopped a 2T glop of coconut oil/ghee on top with salt and hunkered down to eat.  I didn't feel like eating any more beef so I stuck with vegetables only.  I probably ate 10oz of beef for breakfast so I don't feel protein neglected.

 

OK.  Adding insult to injury today was a trip to the grocery store where I was asked if I qualified for the senior discount.  Great.  Age 60?  Just 2 weeks ago someone asked me how many years I was away from turning 40.  Make up your minds.

[PamH]

Day Two

 

Woke up feeling puffy in the eyes and just blah.  Assuming it is weather related since it is suddenly so damp.  

 

Having my morning Crio Bru with a few T of coconut milk and wondering how I am going to eat breakfast within a hour of waking when I am just not hungry?  I don't enjoy eating when I don't want to eat, but typically I'll set myself up by skipping breakfast for that reason and then not being able to eat until 11am when I am starving.  I ran out of time to make the meat muffins so nothing Whole30ish to pop into my mouth unless I want to eat rogan josh again.

 

I am looking so forward to feeling good again!  

 

Scoliosis led to some muscle spasm last weekend in trapezius that have yet to fully subside.  At least it isn't a disc issue.  I've never had this happen before.  Argh.  Not happy with the limitations I've been given over the past year.  My pity party is carrying over from 2012 again this morning.  

 

I did finish the rogan josh and spinach for breakfast at about 8:30 am.  Off to work for the day.  I stayed very full until about 4PM.  I expect adding the 2T coconut oil/ghee to the breakfast helped a ton.  

 

Only had a large apple for a snack and drank an unsweetened kombucha during the day at work cut with water.

 

For dinner, it was a huge chicken breast with skin and more ghee/coconut oil.  I know I needed to have some veggies but I had to get out for some trick or treating with the youngest.  Halloween candy does not tempt me one bit so I'm OK for this holiday.  If they start packaging frosting, dark chocolate covered ginger and carrot cake as treats I'm in trouble.

 

No workout for 2 days.  I hope to get to the gym tomorrow after work.  It has been a long week.  Maybe a long walk outside with the dogs tomorrow morning if I can get my act together before I head to work.  Not a fan of walking in the rain for an hour, though.  

[amberino21]

I think that if you try to eat something within an hour of waking your body will start to give you it's own hunger cues over time. If it's not a whole meal, could you try something small? It will give your body the right idea

Perhaps you could eat something small, and go for a walk or do some exercises at home that might promote hunger?

[vkanders]

 

Scoliosis led to some muscle spasm last weekend in trapezius that have yet to fully subside.  At least it isn't a disc issue.  I've never had this happen before.  Argh.  Not happy with the limitations I've been given over the past year.  My pity party is carrying over from 2012 again this morning.  

UGH that is the WORST place for a muscle spasm. It will lock up your neck and give you headaches like nothing else. Hope you can get it to relax soon.

[PamH]

I'll say!  I couldn't look to the left or right on Saturday unless I pushed my hand on the wad of muscle above my scapula, and I was driving to Chicago and back.  Needless to say, it was interesting.  It feels 90% better now after 2 chiro visits.  Thanks!

[vkanders]

Do you ever use a tennis ball on the trigger point? It's the only way I can manage mine.

[PamH]

Do you ever use a tennis ball on the trigger point? It's the only way I can manage mine.

I just stumbled upon a Power Roller by Body Secrets this afternoon.  SO much better than a tennis ball.  That, plus a warm herbal wrap is really helping.  

[PamH]

Day Three

 

No issues.  Kind of boring.

 

Woke up to Crio Bru and 2T coconut milk

 

Breakfast of just a few pieces of rogan josh with 1T ghee and 1/2 yellow pepper

 

Drank 1/2 bottle unsweetened kombucha cut with water at work

 

Lunch was 1 HUGE apple with 1c sauteed veggies in olive oil

 

Snack was probably too many pieces of cayenne spiced dried mango (no added sugar; organic.  read label)

 

Dinner was HUGE plate of brussel sprouts/radishes roasted in ghee with sea salt/balsamic vinegar and several large pieces of chicken skin with some awesome Bobby Flay 16 spice rub!  Not enough chicken to go around due to unexpected mouths to feed so I opted to eat the skin that most discarded with my veggies.  

 

Snack:  One hour later I did get to eat 1.5 chicken thighs with skin that my husband set aside for me and forgot to mention.  So good with the rub.  Omitted the brown sugar from the recipe but will use coconut sugar post-Whole30 when I make it again.  Only 3T in the 1c of rub but sugar is sugar

[amberino21]

Make sure you're getting enough protein, Pam!

The cayenne spiced dried mango sounds interesting - remember to have a mini meal if you're hungry though!

[PamH]

Edited my post to add I ate 1.5 chicken thighs with skin after everyone finished and I noticed my husband had saved me some.  

 

The mango was in the car on the way home from work.  Stuck in traffic and snacked a bit more than expected...  ate tomorrow's quickie snack as well as today's but left the nuts and coconut behind.

[amberino21]

Awww - nice to hear he's looking out for you!

I want to try and make the mango when it's mango season here - is it literally just dried mango sprinkled with spices?

[PamH]

Awww - nice to hear he's looking out for you!

I want to try and make the mango when it's mango season here - is it literally just dried mango sprinkled with spices?

I bought it from the co-op where I work.  I will take another peek at the bin label to see all of the spices, but yes, a bunch of spices and some lime juice if I remember correctly.  It was really good!  Not as tough and leathery as regular dried mango.

[PamH]

Day Four

 

All is well.  Had a wonderful morning with my Crio Bru and coconut milk  until I realized I was late for work and had to run out the door!  Darned computer; it sucks you in.

 

So, I had to wait until 11:15am to eat, unless I was going to succumb to the wonderful organic baked samples from the deli (I work at a natural foods co-op).  Since absolutely nothing is Whole30, I passed.  Yay, me.

 

Breakfast was 1 large roasted chicken breast with skin and about 12 roasted cherry tomatoes.  I drank a bottle of unsweetened ginger kombucha over the day.

 

Snacked on a small handful of spicy mango when I got home and drank a large mug of warm water with apple cider vinegar to keep me from inhaling more food before dinner.

 

Dinner will be wild caught Pacific salmon and red kuri squash.  

 

My foster dog is being adopted this weekend.  I am spending the afternoon meeting potential families.  I fell for the first family I met today at the dog park, so I feel like I am wasting the poor guy's time who will be here in 10 minutes.  I didn't have enough time to call it off.  I hate this part of fostering!  Having to make the call of 'you didn't get the dog' isn't fun.  I am secretly hoping his current dog hates Dexter so I have an easy out.  Hah

 

Add 1 pear and my day is done

[PamH]

Day Five

 

I woke up with a clear head and a stable mood.  No irritability.  Sugar is my nemesis.  What a wonderful feeling to have some brighter thoughts and happier images in my head.  The sunshine helps, too!  

 

Foster dog is gone.  He is now a family dog.  Love it.

 

I woke up early and enjoyed my crio bru and coconut milk.  

 

At grass fed beef simmered in coconut milk/spices for breakfast along with 1T coconut oil/ghee and a large warm mug of water/apple cider vinegar.

 

Now is the time where I'd grab a handful of dark chocolate chips or a few T of nut butter and then the cravings would begin!  I would eat for about 2 hours and be stuffed.  Not a true binge (quantity wise), but grazing to avoid eating the sugar I know I should be avoiding.  

 

Off to watch a soccer game to get my mind off of food.

 

Came home and snacked on a large apple with some freshly ground almond butter.  I think I ate too much of the butter.  I should have plopped what I wanted onto the plate and put the container away.  Now I am kind of disturbingly full.  It is a gorgeous day, so I will stick the country ribs into the oven and head for a long walk while they roast.

 

Nuts are bloating.

[PamH]

Day Six

 

Wonderfully relaxing morning with my Crio Bru and coconut milk.  Day off of work without a ton of errands to run.  

 

I am going to make some pumpkin chili recipe that popped into my Inbox yesterday.  Looks pretty good.

 

My belly is flatter today.  Good feeling.  I completely forgot to weigh myself before I started this Whole30, but since weight loss isn't my goal I will just go by my GI changes, my moods, my energy level and how my clothes fit.  

 

Breakfast:  

 

2 country boneless pork ribs with dry rub and 1 large zucchini; pan fried.  2T coconut oil ghee/salt

1/3 Lara bar

Large mug water with apple cider vinegar

 

Thought the Lara bar was too much like a treat, so I stopped eating it.

 

Lunch:

 

Bowl of pumpkin turkey chili

1 gigantic carrot

 

Made kitchen sink brownies for the kids in exchange for sending their Halloween candy overseas to our troops.  I licked NOTHING.  I tasted NOTHING.  These brownies are superb... but I held on to the Whole30

 

Dinner:

 

huge apple (probably worth 2 apples)

country style ribs with dry rub

water with acv

 

Went to the gym for an hour of elliptical time.  I was thinking about the weights, but my neck/shoulder is still bugging me so I will wait another few days.

[stubby]

Great way to read your body/emotions on the Lara bar.    So much of it is psychological.  I have noticed that it is nuts that have given me the rumblies...bloating.

 

Good job on your reboot!

[PamH]

Day Seven!  The one week mark.  Yay

 

Wonderful morning!  The kids are off to school without incident.  I made an egg for my son on the Autism spectrum and noticed he ate it without gagging and without even complaining!  I guess when you ignore him he has no audience.  

 

Enjoying my Crio Bru and coconut milk before hopping into the shower for work.  I am happy with how this Whole30 has progressed.  My belly is feeling pretty good and my moods are, too.  Sometimes happiness scares me.  I know that might sound odd to say.  I've been dealing with low level depression and eating disorders for more than 2/3 of my life and habits are hard to break.  It goes into some current marital issues that don't need to be thrown on anyone who bothers to read this journal, but sometimes as I find myself getting stronger and happier I also find myself getting fearful about the decision I think I am making regarding marriage (No, he is not abusive.  Great man; just perhaps not the right man).  Very scary to think about being alone after 27 years hanging out with the same person.

 

Not sure what I want for breakfast.  Turkey pumpkin chili sounds good.  There is leftover amazing pizza in the fridge but I know that is out.  

 

I've made a deal with myself to hopefully get my breakfast habit ingrained:  Currently at work we have a Feed the Needy Holiday campaign.  For every $20 donated, the co-op fills a bag with $40 of organic and natural foods to be passed out after the New Year when the food donations slow way down.  Each time I skip breakfast at home and feel forced to buy a meal at work I have to buy a bag.  It could get expensive.  haha

 

Breakfast:  last of the country pork ribs and a pear

 

Lunch:  Large chicken breast/wing with skin and 1/2 bottle unsweetened kombucha

 

Snack:  Coconut cream Lara bar on the way home from work.  I don't get the same urge to eat sweets when I eat this particular variety.  It must be the lack of cocoa.  I do feel like I bloated quite quickly afterwards, though. I think I just need to toss those bars aside for a while.  Nuts are the culprit?

 

Dinner:  1/2 acorn squash with cinnamon/sea salt and 1T ghee plus a big bowl of pumpkin turkey chili

 

Big mug of warm water with ACV to fill me up even more.

 

I'm loving this no sugar thing, but already thinking ahead to those 3 "kitchen sink" brownies I put in the freezer for the New Year.  That is not really a good sign, but it is reality.  I plan on being sugar free through the holidays.  I really don't know how I am going to do it.  I might, after the Whole30, just make it a 'no obvious sugar' until 1/1/14 and not sweat it if the salad dressing contains some sugar or if the sweet potatoes have some brown sugar butter.   Just avoiding the candy, the pies and the cake.

[PamH]

Awww - nice to hear he's looking out for you!

I want to try and make the mango when it's mango season here - is it literally just dried mango sprinkled with spices?

The mango must be soaked in the spice mixture before dehydrating or something because it seems to permeate the fruit.  This is all the bin label says:  mango, lime juice, chili powder and paprika

[PamH]

Day Eight

 

Rats.  Hubby unknowingly took the compliant chicken to work and left me with stuff I cannot eat this month.  I opted for some turkey pumpkin chili and 1/2 a Lara bar for breakfast along with my Crio Bru and coconut milk.  Adding 1T coconut oil ghee to the chili for a fat bolus breakfast!

 

Disappointed to see the lack of protein in a Lara Bar.  I think I'll stop eating them.  

 

Off to work!

 

Late lunch:

 

3/4lb chicken breast (bone-in) with 2c grilled veggies

1/2 bottle kombucha

 

Snack:

 

1t tahini

 

Dinner:

 

Enormous portion of acorn squash and pumpkin with 1T ghee.  I was too protein overloaded from my chicken eaten 3 hours prior, and had no interest in more meat.  I think I'm good for the day.

 

I guess I was not good for the day:  ate a handful of cashew/almonds; probably about 10 of them.  I usually eat only raw nuts, but the salty roasted nut was calling me.  Drank another big old mug of water before bedtime.  No time for the gym today which was too bad.  I try to go 5 times a week or 4 times if I can get outside for a long fast walk (15 min mile pace).  No more running for this girl since my pelvic injury almost exactly a year ago.  Bleh

[PamH]

Day Nine

 

Breakfast:

 

Last of the turkey pumpkin chili (large bowl) with 1T coconut oil/ghee.  I liked the chili, but also happy to see it finally gone

Crio Bru with 2T coconut milk

 

Lunch:

 

1/2 bottle unsweetened kombucha

3c or so of sauteed veggies in evoo and salt

 

Snack:  

 

Large pear on the way home from work

Big old glass of water with acv

 

I had a stressful day at work dealing with very eccentric people and just a busy day overall.  Over my lunch break, I was so tempted to just take some of the awesome hot deli that I knew was sugar free (my real thing I want to avoid) but not Whole30 compliant.  I resisted, and had a boatload of roasted veggies instead.  I am planning on going out to dinner tonight and having a honker of a hamburger/no bun so I opted not to have any more meat at lunch.  Vegetarian is OK by me.  All in all, the amount of protein I'll be eating today works for my body and my needs.  

 

I really do feel good about avoiding sugar, but breaking the habit of grabbing a bite here and a bite there is so difficult!  All throughout the day I have samples in our deli and treats in the office to avoid.  They are always sweets to some degree.  Then at home the easy access chocolate chips or other chocolates I use for cooking or snacking in the past are always there, too.  It will take a good long time to erase those automatic actions.

 

Dinner:

 

Eating out is always so hard!  Hard not to take something really nice looking off of the kids' plates.

 

Lettuce wrapped burger with mushrooms.  Side of broccoli and a few bites of my daughter's chicken.

 

Not sure how it was cooked or if the mushrooms were sautéed in butter or oil.  I know this isn't Whole30 savvy, but for me that isn't the key to success this time around.  I only eat out maybe twice a month at best.  I got a side of steamed broccoli instead of fries or cole slaw.  I'm really full, but feeling OK about the meal.  I'm not a fan of eating non grass-fed beef or conventional lettuce but every once in a while will be OK.  Gotta live and enjoy life with bending a few of my rules a times.

[PamH]

Day Ten

 

Note to self:  Do NOT make a mad dash downstairs to find your pants about the same time you expect the carpenters to come start their work on the remodel.  Ooops.

 

Busy morning.  I had planned on making 'meat muffins' last night but I needed to focus on helping my 7th grader (Autism) study for his history test.  I had planned on making 'meat muffins' this morning, but needed to run my 7th grader to the store before school to buy canned goods for a Veteran's Day food drive.  I don't have canned food in the pantry due to my food choices over the past several years.  Ah, my muffins will have to wait until I get back from work this afternoon.

 

But, that means breakfast has become derailed.  I'm scrambling to find something that won't set me off for the day.  I still have a Lara Bar but I don't want to do that.  Turkey chili is gone and I want the eggs for the muffins later.  Not sure what to do!  My cup of Crio Bru is making me feel less discombobulated.  I'm tempted to go for the nut/coconut/dried fruit mixture but that isn't wise.  Erg.

 

Beef stick!  I found a compliant beef stick in the cupboard.  Oh, Hallelujah.  Beef stick and a banana.  Thrilling.

 

Uh oh.

 

Let's just leave it at that.  

 

Tomorrow is Day One (again).  Can't ignore this noncompliance.  Butter, sugar and oats snuck in to my belly; some chocolate, too.  It was like a fugue state for about 30 minutes.  Office party...

 

Ever have those mornings when you wake up knowing today is going to be a struggle?  That was today, and I didn't do too well.  I was able to get a great work out in tonight after the overeating buzz wore off, but now I am just regretting the eating.  I know it isn't the end of the world, but it is the end of nine days of pretty good work!  Crap.

 

I really need to plan out morning meals.  Critical.

[PamH]

Day One

 

Woke up feeling pretty grumbly and gassy and swollen in the face and eyes.  Amazing!  Why aren't these moments enough to keep me compliant?  Just not too sure...

 

Crio bru with 1/4 c coconut milk to get me going.  Comfort drink

 

Breakfast:

 

1 delicata squash with 2 stalks of broccoli and salt/2T ghee

 

I don't have any protein in the house except for eggs and I am using them now to make the meat muffins.  I just ate fat to keep me satiated and will have a lot of protein later in the day.  I honestly was not hungry, but felt I had to eat something and not forgo food to make up for yesterday.

 

So, right now I have crispy carnitas in one oven, and am waiting for the second (unreliable) oven to preheat to get the meat muffins all good to go for future breakfasts and 'in a pinch' meals.  I hope they freeze well.   The recipe is from Well Fed and I've never made them. The carnitas will become lettuce wraps later in the day.  Off to get some avocado and tomatoes later for salsa.

 

Not planning ahead is my downfall.  I find myself in a bind where I need to eat and all I have is nuts, nut butters, chocolate, protein bars and pure fat to tide me over.  It leads to cravings and failure.

 

MEAT MUFFINS ARE GOOD!  My "ew, is that coconut oil?" husband loves them.  Now we see if he touches the carnitas that are coming along nicely.  I think I will spend much time altering this recipe for variety and have some on hand most times.

 

Dinner:  Big bowl of carnitas.  Disappointed to see evaporated cane sugar as an ingredient in the mango salsa I have in the cupboard, but I should have expected as much.  Carnitas turned out perfectly, and husband even made a wrap (yes, white flour tortilla) with them.  Baby steps.

 

Getting ready to take a long fast walk on the treadmill.  Too full to even attempt any type of run, and I've given up on that form of exercise, anyway.  Pelvic organ issues… lady stuff.  Not fun.  Life changing.  Aggravating.

[PamH]

Day Two

 

Breakfast:  crio bru with coconut milk, meat muffins (from Well Fed) and a pear

 

Worked all morning in admissions at the high school craft fair.  My friend working the table with me kept telling me how much change to give back.  Duh… I can't count in intervals of 4.  Parents of Gifted/Talented kids can be annoying.    I happen to be one myself.  I hope I am not like that.

 

Lunch:  Â½ buttercup squash with 2T ghee and sea salt.  1/4 yellow pepper, 1 orange segment and small amount of carnitas.  Water with acv

 

Decided I would track every bit that entered my mouth.  In the past, I did not write down that 1 orange segment or even the big bite of carnitas.  I thought that led to some sneaking of non-compliant foods.  The "Oh, just a little bite won't hurt."  Funny I think that is OK when I do it, but I go ballistic when my husband gives my son 'just a little bit' of gluten when he is supposed to be gluten free.

 

Dinner:  garden peas, apple, carnitas.   

 

Big old carrot before bed to keep me from snacking on nuts and dried fruit.  More water, too

[stubby]

Great job getting back on track.  

 

I could probably google some of these...but I'm curious...meat muffins is that a recipe in IBWF?  Other source?  Sounds interesting.

 

crio bru?  sounds so good.  I'm assuming a coffee?

 

Water with acv?

 

You have such good taste and your meals sound so interesting.  I love hearing about them.  Thanks for the inspiration.

[PamH]

Great job getting back on track.  

 

I could probably google some of these...but I'm curious...meat muffins is that a recipe in IBWF?  Other source?  Sounds interesting.

 

crio bru?  sounds so good.  I'm assuming a coffee?

 

Water with acv?

 

You have such good taste and your meals sound so interesting.  I love hearing about them.  Thanks for the inspiration.

Meat Muffins are from Well Fed:  basically, just ground beef, onion, spices, spinach and egg to bind baked in muffin liners.  

 

Crio Bru is ground cocao beans.  Minimal caffeine with some of the antioxidant benefits.  Not chocolatey enough to trigger anything in me, craving wise.  I love it all emulsified with coconut milk.

 

ACV=  apple cider vinegar.  Trying that out.

 

My stomach is still quite upset by Friday's eating.  Lots of activity going on in there!

 

Thank you for the encouragement and compliment.  The crispy carnitas are Mark's Daily Apple recipe.  Absolutely awesome despite the 5 hour cooking time commitment.