Anzas First W30-Dec 25 2012

[anzadel]

Hello...., this is long. I apologize in advance, I am not logging until today, day 13? So I will write a recap if only for myself

 

I have had many battles with full blown eating disorders as well as disordered eating. Thankfully I have had freed myself from those demons. (I don't even have a scale at home. Just the gym!!) However  the sugar monster still gives me grief.  I also have digestive damage and hormonal issues that I know are food related!!!  Time to slay the last of my demos. I am ready for this!! I've been on the weight journey since Ive been ten years old (Im 38 now) 

 

I did not follow the meal plan template exactly the first few days. Nor did I feel 'ready' to log food. Anyone with a disordered eating past understands that I am sure!!! I set some goals for myself as to not backslide into ED territory. 

 

First  Goal--Eat ONLY compliant food. 

That's it!!! I would let myself eat whenever I wanted,  however much I wanted. Just  as long as it was  a compliant food.  I need my 'hunger' meter re-calibrated. Also,  I often have issues with feeling very sick to my stomach when I wake up etc. My husband is constantly nagging me to eat breakfast and I just can't. I go from feeling like Im going to vomit to being STARVING in an instant (usually around 11am)  and it makes him crazy. I wouldn't mind being able to eat breakfast with him, either.  

 

Second Goal-Follow the Meal Template

I wanted to get away from snacking and grazing. I feel as if Im either Full or Starving?! Learn to listen to my body and figure out it's natural needs. 

 

Third Goal-Start a Food Log

I know this is critical for understanding how food effects me. But I know I can get a bit off the deep end with it. No OCD measuring and stressing out over it. Nope. NOT going there. 

 

 

Whew. That was a lot! Obviously I made it to my final goal by day 13. Im really happy with the program and proud of myself, too.  Here's how the first 2 weeks went down. 

 

 

Yes, I started xmas day....I spent the week before Christmas getting ready...Eating as much junk as I wanted (!!!) researching the plan, studying recipes...etc.  I love Love LOVE to cook. I  have worked in restaurants. I went to culinary school years ago and trained to be a pastry chef  (but decided to be an engineer). I prefer cooking at home to eating out anyway so I figure how hard can this be!!! I was originally going to start Jan 1 but I felt like such crap already I was excited to start!!! I wish my husband was on board, but he always eats whatever  I put on the table so if he doesn't like it, too bad  

 

 

 Due to family logistics we did our big holiday meal on xmas eve.  It was just me and my husband on xmas day. Since I do all the cooking I made myself a compliant meal. Prime Rib, brussel sprouts and acorn squash. No complains from the man. Life is good  

 

 Week 1--I don't remember the first week other then I ate too much dried fruit and nuts.   I did try to always temper it with protein.  I felt small sugar cravings but nothing like the past. Giving up diet soda was the hardest part and the single thing I miss the most. I would rather take my coffee black then with coconut milk.  But I did not have even one nibble of non compliant food. 

 

 

Week 2--By the start of week two my hunger signals were coming back. I was able to eat according to the meal template for the most part and sugar cravings were GONE. Still missing diet soda something fierce. Club soda with lime is helping. A lot. I even made grilled cheese and quesidillas for my hubby.  While it wasn't easy to grate cheese without tasting I did it. VERY proud of myself!  I was still snacking a bit. But I got my snacks down to 3-4 carrot sticks and a handful of olives and a  small piece of leftover protein. 

 

Jan 6th was day 13 and my first day back at work.  I work long hours and often we have food catered in. I knew I would need to plan out a lot of meals so as notto be tempted by work.  I spent an entire day shopping and cooking for the week.  At this point I felt compelled to start logging food. I logged back into fitday but then decided to come here instead. Just write it down. No need to obsess over amounts and calories

 

 

ok. whew. Next post will have monday and tuesday food!

 

[anzadel]

Monday Jan 6th

 

0630

3 shots espresso. black

 

 

0815
Pork loin roast

roasted  broccoli

100 cal cup spicy wholly guacamole. 

 

 

 

1400
2 meatballs (one turkey, one grass fed beef)
1 Bell pepper (raw)
roasted broccoli

 

1500

Grapes off the snack plate (work provided food).

Felt  HUGE sugar buzz.  Resisted cravings, told myself it was the damn grapes.

The smell of the reheated potato balls (also onsnack plate) made me want to vomit. 

 

1700
Carrot and bell peppers stix (raw)

Olives

 

2000

Feeling hungry and thought  about eating the dinner I packed for myself at work. Didn't feel like eating alone so jammed home to cook for man and kid.  in the middle of cooking dinner I suddenly became ravenous. UGH. I gave in to the snacky monster. 

 

4 dried apricot halves. Small handful coconut chips. ~10 almonds. No I didn't count but it was a very small amount. 

Felt satisfied and it was delicious. I could live on dried fruit and nuts. 

 

2030-Dinner is served. 

 

~4oz hamburger

avocado

grilled onions

yam and japanese sweet potato fries (olive oil)

 

after my snack I wasn't all that hungry but everything was delicious. The boys had buns I did not. I made the fries with oo this time, but I think I prefer them with coconut oil.  I ate too much, felt veryfull.  Sigh. should have passed on the fries and let the boys have them all and not as much avocado I think. Could be worse, live and learn.  However I had ZERO cravings for sugar/dessert. Was 100% satiated!

[anzadel]

Tuesday Jan 7th

0630

3 shots espresso. Black.

0900

1 cup raspberries (they were on the breakfast platter at work)

I wasn't that hungry, and probably should have not eaten these. I know i have a hard time turning down free food that is provided at work. This is something I need to work on. However I didn't even feel tempted by the pastries and bagels. Looking at the pain au chocolate made me feel sick But how can you turn down fresh delicious berries--so I ate the damn berries.

However no sugar rush, no cravings. I feel really good so I will not get upset over eating a cup of berries

1030

slice of pork loin

1/2 turkey meatball

Carrots and olives

Looking at this I realize I probably need to eat bigger meals. also I work 8am-730pm. If I can shift lunch to 3ish, that means I can have dinner at home with the family. I really hate eating dinner at work if I don't have to.

1400

taco salad

3 grass fed beef meat balls

red leaf letuce

some carrot sticks

100 cal pack of spicy guac

compliant hot sauce

yum. feel full, not stuffed.

Cut up a whole lime, squeezed it into a big cup of ice then went over to the soda machine and hit the diet coke button!!! UGH!!! Was on auto pilot and had to dump it in the trash. Wasted an entire lime and now have to drink my club soda plain. fml. I hate being wasteful

2000

Dinner. Got off work earlier then expected and made it ho!e for dinner.

Hubby made tacos. He told Mr he even read ingredients on the salsa he used to cook the meat with. Promised me it was compliant and it was. Best hubby ever!! He had his with tortillas and cheese I made a huuuge salad with taco meat, lettuce, beets, peppers and sunchokes.

Salad was huge I packed it up for tomorrows lunch. Think the meat/veggie ratio was off. Too !any veggies and not enought meat. I got full from beets and sunchokes and lacking in protein.

Have to be at work at 7am tomorrow. Food before coffee!

[GFChris]

Hi there-

 

Some feedback on Monday's log.

 

If you're going to have coffee/espresso, the Whole30 guidance is to have your Meal 1 before you enjoy your coffee/espresso. Caffeine is a potent appetite suppressant.

Snacks should be a mini-meal, including a protein and fat.  The need to snack is typically an indication that your earlier meals need to be bigger. I'm thinking you could have upped your lunch protein to 4 meatballs, for example.

Don't worry about the weight of your burger or any protein - just be sure it's the equivalent of 1-2 of your palms, per the meal template.

[anzadel]

Thanks!!! My meatballs are kinda big...I made maybe 6 with a pound of ground meat. But yes, I do think you are right there.  My meals are too small. 

 

I need to work on the coffee...but I make an espresso and then drink it on the way to work. Even w/o it I don't think I could eat a full meal  that early. Something to work on for sure.

 

I was actually a tiny bit hungry this morning when I woke up at 6am. Then I felt guilty that I ate such a big dinner the night last night. I drank my espresso and poof. Hunger went away.  Hmm.....I see what you are saying. I will try to eat something tomorrow morning. 

 

I am more keeping track of protein weight so I know how much to buy at the store, and it's not an exact measurement for sure!!! I work 8am-730pm and sometimes I end up at work until 9. So I need to be prepared to eat three meals a day at work.  I am trying to figure out how much I need to buy/cook on sunday so that I am prepared for the week  

 

I have freakishly big hands....I am 5'0" and I wear a Mens Medium in gloves. A womans large is too small. I also wear a seize ten shoe (again, Im only five foot tall) I could fit 4 eggs in my hand. I don't know if I can eat that much at one meal, but I will try. 

 

thanks!

[anzadel]

Wed Jan 8

 

0630

2 shots of espreeso. Black. 

ugh. I woke up feeling really good. I thought about just going to work without it. but It was (california) cold outside, 42 degrees. And I just get so much comfort from my routine of drinking coffee. I didn't have anything I could grab and eat with the coffee in the car...

I didn't even need it, but the idea of going without made me sad. I have decaf espresso in the cupboard,  maybe I will try that tomorrow. fail.

 

0800

Started getting very hungry!!! YAY!!! All is not lost. 

 

2 turkey meatballs

handful carrot sticks

100 cal pack wholly spicy guac. 

 

Will have to go buy more of that stuff on my lunch break. Love it!

 

In other news my 'food stash' at work is almost EMPTY!!! I have 2 beef meatballs and and maybe 2 cups of olives left. Good thing I brought the remnants of lasts night dinner with me. Also, will walk to market on my lunch break and re-stock.  It's amazing how much food I go thru when I don't rely on the work provided food. We have JUNK catered in for lunch/dinner and snack food everywhere. nothing even remotely 'healthy' let alone W30 compliant. 

[anzadel]

Wed Jan 08

 

1230

aaand I get informed we're having a lunch meeting, what would I like to order from the local mexican restaurant.  At first I say "no thanks, I brought lunch"  Then I decide to google "restaurant name + paleo" and lo and behold up comes a crossfit blog with a picture of a 'protein plate' from said restaurant.  Ive been eating at this joint for 12 years  (and changed my eating habits numerous times over said 12 years) and never once had seen nor heard of any protein plate. Being that Im not really involved with the order nor am I paying for it,  I figure I will just order it hope for the best. If it sucks, I have a back up plan I brought from home. 

 

well, it didn't suck. It was grilled veggies and carnitas topped with chunks of avocado! Then I dumped a ton of pico de gallo on top. Total WIN! Well, not total win. Im sure it was factory farmed pork, gmo veggies and cooked in vegtable oil...however I got to eat with my co workers, have something different then Ive had in awhile, not feel left out and NOT EAT ONE CORN CHIP. Not one. and they have amazing chips. 

 

Next time I will get it with grilled chicken and not the carnitas. 

[Emma]

Total score on the restaurant food.  It's never very fun to eat my own food when others are snacking on the free pizza or meals that were purchased for some event.  

 

Your intro post reminded me of my first Whole30.  My husband and I cleared out all the non-compliant foods from our house and I remember walking into the kitchen the next morning feeling so FREE because I could eat absolutely anything I wanted to (provided it was in our house).  It was a much nicer way to live than counting calories or avoiding things I liked or feeling guilty for eating things that didn't sit well with me.  

 

It's motivating to hear that your sugar cravings started going away at week two.  Mine are still there after I eat.  It will pass I tell myself.

 

I have freakishly small hands  I looked at my lunch portion of chicken and thought there was no way I could eat according to the template.  Hmmm - maybe that's why I'm carrying some extra weight!  Hope tomorrow morning goes well.

[anzadel]

Well, it wasn't that great. It made me bloated...I think it was just really greasy. perhaps soybean oil? I have soy issues, this I know.  I love tofu but it makes me horrificly bloated and gassy. I downed a bunch of water and I feel better already. 

 

Today at work has been harder with sweets and cheese everywhere. And there's a candy dish with Dove Dark chocolate singles that I have to walk by everytimg I go to the restroom. I keep thinking "just one..." then I think...." Really?! Can you NOT go 30 days without sugar??" and I feel like a wuss.... Im just worried I'll go nuts on day 31! I already promised myself I would not. Might do another whole30  right away

 

But yes, it is a better way to live then constantly obsessing and i feel much more satiated after a full meal!!

[anzadel]

Wed Jan 08 1830

2 grass fed meatballs

hanfdull olives

 

starving at work but knew the man was roasting a chicken at home. 

 

2000

chicken breast

zucchini noodles

[Emma]

Dove chocolates are a horrible temptation!  I so feel for you.  Good thing you can get to a store at lunch.  Good luck with your day!

[anzadel]

Thanks!!! It's horrible here, We have all sorts of pastries brought in from the local cuban bakery. Guava-cheese strudel I am looking at you!!! 

[anzadel]

Thursday Jan 9 

 

 

0730

3 shots decaf espresso. black. by the time I got to work I was STARVING! Yays!

 

 

0830

three turkey meatballs

whole avocado

zuchini noodles

 

I felt kind of full after two bites but then I kept eating and ended up feeling good about eating so much so early. I am hoping this will keep me until lunch at 1300.  Crap, I restocked the work stash on veggies but now I am down to one serving of protein. Which worries me because I will probably be working late and dinner will be catered in. Walking to the store at lunch I guess. 

 

 

1330

huge salad with taco meat, beets, sweet potatoes, sunchokes, raw green  pepper, roasted red pepper and lettuce tossed with  a tahini mint dressing.

small bowl of sicillian green olives for 'dessert' 

 

I would have put them in the salad but I was too lazy to pit them and chop them up.  Too lazy to walk to store.

 

all that is left in the work stash is bag of organic spinach, an avocado, a green pepper and a very small chicken thigh. Hope I can get home for dinner and will have to figure out tomorrows meals! 

 

1710

almonds

avocado

chicken thigh

bell pepper

 

 

why am I so hungry? I felt snacky and tried to ignore it. No. I am honestly HUNGRY. Was lunch not big enough? aI don't want to eat ANYTHING in my food stash. Wandered the kitchen...found SO many yummies...White choc macadamia cookies still warm baked, yogurt covered pretzels (my FAV!) honey nut clusters, trail mix, M&Ms, salt and vinegar kettle cooked chips GOD I hate working here!!! 

 

settled on a small (very) handful of raw almonds. Who knew we DO have something healthy here. I still feel hungry. Ok I will suck it up and eat my planned 'dinner' tho it feels way too early. 

 

 

 

2100

 

meatloaf

dried apricots

coconut

 

got home from work and hubby had made compliant meatloaf in case I got off work in time for dinner.  The whole house smelled delicious! And I so appreciated the effort he made I just had to try some. Again, best husband EVER!!!  Then a bit later I snacked on some died apricots and coconut chips. Small amounts... sigh. 

[anzadel]

Friday. YAY FRIDAY!!! Jan 9

 

0830

 

small handful blueberries

small apple

 

I  do not want to eat ANYTHING available to me. Cold meatloaf is the only protein option I have and I just DO NOT want to eat it. bleh.   I am just going to go on hunger strike. There are donuts and pastries in the kitchen and my co workers are hassling me. I have said nothing about w30 or whatever but they just are assholes with no respect for personal boundaries and I hate them.  I know if I eat a dount I will feel like crap. I have had them before, I know what they taste like it will last all of 2 minutes, if even that. Then I feel will feel regretful, upset, and angry with myself for a measly of 2 minutes of sugary goodness. So I will just lock myself in my office and sulk until I am hungry enough to eat meatloaf 

 

1130

meatloaf

lettuce

tomato

 

 

1530

handful of olives. 

 

Food supply at work is getting thin. TGIF! I get to shop and cook over the weekend!!

[Emma]

Not what you want to hear, but you might feel better if you eat a bit of that meatloaf.  You might feel better inside your body which might help you just feel better in your mind so the behaviors of your coworkers don't negatively impact your day.  Your coworkers are doing what so many people do.  It's angering and annoying.  Why don't we support the goals and boundaries of others?!  It really is very uncool for people to push their ways onto others who are trying to make positive changes.  Way to go on passing up the donuts and doing your own thinking, processing and decision making.  It's your body and you're taking care of it.  That's huge.  And it will provide inspiration to others later down the road.

I read this article on NPR last night and for me, it hits home.  You're doing good things.  Keep it up.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/01/08/260781785/is-sugar-addiction-why-so-many-january-diets-fail

[anzadel]

I'm getting close to wanting to eat meatloaf!!! But it's either eat it cold (bleh) or heat it up and get questioned. (UGH!)

 

I know...it's silly. Thanks. I might just eat a bit cold. 

 

Thank you for that article! AMAZING!!!

[Emma]

Good luck to you.  Cold meatloaf really doesn't sound appetizing at all!  I've told people we're doing a "healthy eating thing for a month" and when they've asked why I've said it's to see if it helps with not getting sick so much.  Some people have asked more and then I've shared more, but mainly I've just kept the focus on wanting to feel healthier and not get sick so often.  People seem to respect that far more than they respect "diets" or weight loss agendas or fads.  I feel for ya!

[anzadel]

Had a pretty good weekend.

 

First the bad.... Friday night at work, I made a snack of raw almonds, spoonful of honey and pinch of seasalt. (UGH!) Better then diving into the candy bowl filled with snickers and twix. Sunday I had a small 85% chocolate bar. AND had an accidental taste of honey in pearsauce I made for hubby. I was making sure it was sweet enought and had a total brain lapse! I should have had him come taste it, since it was for him anyway. 

 

 

Second, the UGLY. Had a meltdown at a restaurant saturday night. Hubby wanted to go out to eat and I said we could go anywhere he wanted since he was so sweet as to make me compliant dinners during the week. He picked sushi...of course. So I look at the menu and just decide I won't eat anything and will have dinner at home afterwards. I had a friend with a soy allegy and she used to use lemon, salt and wasabi to dip in, I thought about doing that with some sashimi but I then decided I wasn't that hungry.

 

 So the waitress comes and I just order nothing. She leaves and hubby looks at me  like "WTF" I told him if I couldnt eat rice and soy I'd rather eat nothing at all. He got mad and asked why I didn't say something sooner.I told him he could pick anywhere he wanted and I would make it work and didn't want to go back on my word. I might have said something about him being inconsiderate and selfish for picking a place he knows I will be extremely difficult AND making me watch him eat stuff I can't.  ....I don't really remember.....

 

 So the food comes and Im just sitting there looking sad and well it....ended badly. ..He was really unhappy with the situation and I wasn't exactly happy either. Oh well. Im getting mad thinking about it again. I can't decide if he's just stupid or selfish. 

 

 

 

The good...I made quesadillas (for hubby) and did not feel tempted to eat cheese at all)  I also made him calrose rice to go with the thai green curry I made. Calrose is a food w/o brakes for me and I really wanted some but didn't. Then, he stuck the rice spoon into the curry pot for seconds and I YELLED at him. DO NOT CONTAMINATE THE CURRY WITH RICE. Other then the few things mentioned in the bad....everything else was compliant. 

 

 

Also started a batch of kombucha and kimchi radishes. The saurekraut I started last week is done and in the fridge!

 

Even tho I slipped up a little I think that Im doing really well with changing my relationship with food. Sugar cravings are down.  The little bits I have are satisfying. I don't feel at ALL tempted the chips and cookies at work etc.

 

The chocolate was 85% dark and not very sweet.  The almonds with honey and salt felt like a decadent treat and and didn't set of huge cravings for the rest of the weekend. Sunday I was fine without wanting anything non compliant. I feel so much better over all that I want to stay on track. 

[anzadel]

Monday Jan 13

 

0730

3 shots espresso. black

 

in other news I am SO glad I got on the black coffee bandwagon  long ago.  I never took sugar in my coffee but I did like a lot of cream. That was a hard enough habit to break, I don't think I could have done it within the W30

 

0930

 

2 chicken apple sausage

1 large bell pepper, eaten like an apple to the dismay of my coworkers. 

cup of fresh raspberries. 

 

Next time I will just do 1 sausage, but then I wonder if it's not enough protein and too much fat? Was full after about 1.5 sausage. However this meal will easily take to me lunch time!

 

I can envision and 80/20 type of lifestyle where I am strict w30 all week and ease up a bit on weekend evenings. Breakfast is easy

 

 For me, for my hubby and esp weekends when we have the kid.  The big thing I need to work on is not eating at work. We literally have pallets of junk food from costco delivered weekly. Chips, candy, cookies, trail mix etc. Unhealthy lunch meats and cheeses. And that's not even half of it. Seriously. Its a 'perk' to get us to work longer. I get bored and snack on JUNK.  Not only is it calories I don't need it's loaded with chemicals that are harming my body. 

 

Ok. Whew. 

 

1230

 

shrimp ceviche, about 1.5 cups worth. 

feels good to have  a very light lunch since breakfast was heavy. 

 

way too early for lunch..but that's when we took a break and is my chance to eat.  Went out with co workers to a seafood place and had cevechi. Yum and YUM. Shrimp, cucumber, avocado, onion,  lime juice. THATS IT!! I never even THOUGHT about that as a meal but will have to do that again. Also a good one to do with the man. He can get deep fried whatever and I can get ceviche. Makes up for missing out on sushi. 

 

1800

apple

carrot stix

caluliflower 

left over green chicken curry

[anzadel]

Tues Jan 14

0900

meatball

red pepper

1300

green curry sauce

1.5 meatball

sauteed kale

Finally! the last of the green curry. I ate all the chicken out of it yesterday so today I dumped it over my otherwise boring kale and meatball. yum. I used to eat almost all my meals here at work, eating the crap they buy/cater in.

OMG Do I go thru SO much food now. I bring it in by the bagload...Im already thinking I need more for tomorow. WTF

2100

Home made kimchi radish, so good and very proud of myself for making them!

Roasted turkey thighs

Brussel sprouts

Dried apricots

Finally down to 1 fruit per day. I love it so much.

About to eat right now. Lunch kept me full for a looong time. Wasn't even hungry until 830 when I started preparing dinner. Snacked on the apricots and radishes while turkey was in the oven.

[Emma]

Your dinner out with husband sounds rough!  (And a bit funny because I can relate to the crabbiness) 

I love ceviche - didn't even think about it being whole30 compliant.  That's sweet.  

Have you tried coconut aminos?  They are kinda like soysauce.  I've heard people take their own bottle to restaurants and order sashimi.  It can get a bit expensive eating enough sashimi to fill you up, but at least it's something.  Mmmm - now I'm craving that, but no way am I heading to a restaurant this month - it's too tempting!

Good job passing up on all the junk food at work.   It's amazing how much of that stuff I used to eat.  I like that everything going in me now is nutritious.

[anzadel]

oh dear, it was a rough weekend all around!! I was crabby about food and having PMS. 

 

I did buy some coconut aminos but I haven't tried them yet. I told hubby we would go to sushi together "soon" and I won't be so difficult.  I am totally ok with giving up so many things...I know sushi will be one of my planned off roading.  I can go w/o  dairy, grains and legumes no problem. I am even doing ok without sugar. The coconut milk in my curry sauce is sweet enough I feel like I had dessert.  I will probably re-intro rice first, but not soy. sigh. 

[Physibeth]

A couple of thoughts after reading through your log.

 

First of all...I'm seeing great growth and improvement! Good for you! 

 

Second...because of the sugar slips I would encourage you to wait that additional days necessary to make it 30 days without sugar. You can start your other reintroductions just wait on sugar. 

 

And do make sure you plan for careful reintroductions at the end of your 30 days. That is valuable information for when you start riding your own bike because you can make your offroading decisions with full knowledge of the repercussions. I always ask myself "Is it worth it? Is it special?" I didn't bother with soy reintroduction myself either because I already knew it bothered my tummy and makes me a bit witchy with a b.

 

Keep up the great work! 

[anzadel]

Thanks! I actually plan on continuing much longer then 30 days. And I don't ever plan on re-introudcing dairy or legumes to my diet. And no grains other then white rice (just for sushi). I hear ya on the soy...some of my issues for doing this are hormonal!!!

 

I know dairy isn't good for me and I am shocked at how much Im not missing grains for the most part. Sugar...well, yeah...Moderation isn't for me so it is what it is. I hope to keep it to as little as possible and even then keep it to dates and figs. 

 

 We tend to go out for sushi once a month as 'date night'  and I'll probably go back to that as a planned off road. Im finding it's really the one thing I really miss, and I'd rather just really enjoy it iand eat clean the rest of the time. Instead of trying to work the program around it.   Other then that we don't go out to eat much anyway, I love to cook!

 

 

The bad part is Im finding that the some of the FODMAP foods give me gas/bloating, in particular coconut.

[Physibeth]

It might be worth taking FODMAPS out for a couple of weeks and then adding them back in one by one. If that seems like too much in the context of what you are already doing you can leave it for a post W30 experiment and just keep track of how you are feeling for now.