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Facebook Rudeness - a Rant


TrayS

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So this morning I posted a pic of my delicous breakfast: scrambled eggs, baked sweet potato, fresh cucumber slices and sliced bananas coated in tapioca/egg mix and fried in coconut oil. Two of my husband's family members subsequently commented that they lost their appetite. WTF? How does Real Food make you lose your appetite?

 

I don't know why it's bothering me so much. Maybe it's because on Day 8 my emotions are still kind of wacky. Maybe it's because it is PMS week. Maybe it's because thoughtless comments made to someone who is tackling their bad, difficult-to-break habits head on is just that - thoughtless - and I wasn't expecting it from family members who are typically nice people. It's not like I tagged them in the photo and said "look how much healthier my breakfast is than yours, I win."

 

I'm tempted to post something rude in response, but that would just make me look juvenile and self righteous. Which is not my objective.....

 

F-ers.

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It's not like I tagged them in the photo and said "look how much healthier my breakfast is than yours, I win."

 This. Lots of times people will look at what I'm eating and take it as some kind of judgement on what they are eating (or not eating). Try to give them a little slack and ignore. you are doing this for yourself, anyway, not them, right?   ;)

 

ps. that breakfast sounds yummy to me!

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 "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

 

EXACTLY! It surprised me too because these are not people I generally see seeking out opportunities to be rude.

 

Oh well, it's a new day, time to move on....

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Maybe they weren't intentially trying to be rude but more jokingly commenting on it...unfortunately, reading things in emails, on FB or on the forums can be misread because we don't know the tone of the comment.  Remember, what we are eating is not the norm and people who are all about fast food and convenience foods see what we eat as icky.

 

I think it's a great starting point to introduce them to Paleo/Whole30 and treating our bodies better through what we eat.  I think if you make a defensive/snarky comment, that could only hurt your cause.  You said it yourself that they are not typically rude.

 

If you find that they were being mean-spirited, de-friend them...why would you need that negativity anyway??  ;)

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I left a one-word response - "Rude" - and hopefully that got the point across. I have to remember that 1) my feelings about it are not proportional to the action *cough*PMS*cough* and 2) these are nice people in every other interaction I've had with them ever.

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Even before I started eating "weird" W30 food, I'll never forget a colleague coming up to my desk while I was eating a salad, might have been sardines or something, and saying "I don't know how you can eat that. It makes me feel sick!" Charming!

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So my cousin just posted on there that my sweet potato looks like a dead rat. THANKS.

 

However, I've had 2 other family members express interest in the W30 in the past 24 hours (via FB) so I guess my mission is in tact. :)

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I left a one-word response - "Rude" - and hopefully that got the point across. I have to remember that 1) my feelings about it are not proportional to the action *cough*PMS*cough* and 2) these are nice people in every other interaction I've had with them ever.

Try not to let their judging bother you.. usually what others say and do has nothing to do with you but more themselves. Maybe they are jealous of the dedication and life changes you are making.. Let it fuel your fire to keep going strong to meet your goals!! :)

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I've encountered this as well.  I posted some awesome breakfast pic months ago with a caption about how delicious it was and a "friend" of mine commented, "Maybe to you." 

Once I had a cup of soup with me that I had fixed and a co-worker told me her father (who was standing next to her at the time) thought it looked good and wanted a bite. She started laughing and he snorted and said, "Are you kidding?  That looks INEDIBLE."  It's one thing to be rude and have no manners; it's another thing to make fun of someone to their face.  How rude is that?

People think that by choosing to eat "clean" you are judging them.  I have seriously cut down on the things I post or say about paleo eating or the Whole 30 because I know people's eyes start to glaze over after awhile. It bothers me too, but just do what's best for you and enjoy your results.  If, once you're done with your Whole 30 someone wants to say something snide to you, go ahead and calmly tell them how awesome you feel/much better slept/your skin cleared up/your perfomance in the gym improved.  That'll shut them up ;)

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I am in high school and you would not believe the things that kids say! I was always taught that you don't comment on other peoples' food,...guess not everyone was. People will look at my salad and say, "you're going to eat all that?" I just want to be like, "Yes I am going to eat this bowl full of vegetables, while you eat a personal pizza, chocolate milk, and pop tart. Kids have even gone so far as to say, "If I ate that I would throw up." People just do not think about what is coming out their mouths.(Or what's going in them lol.)

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You know how I handle people's comments on my facebook posts that annoy me? I delete them. My timeline, my post, they can buzz off. I used to fight back or get annoyed or whatever. Now I just decided that I choose to remove any content I don't like from my own timeline I choose. 

 

Haters going to hate...don't stoop to their level but don't put up with it either.

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I'm tempted to post something rude in response, but that would just make me look juvenile and self righteous. Which is not my objective.....

I really like that you are aware of your objective. You sound like you are handling it with class and grace;  it doesn't sound like a classy comment (especially from family!). I applaud your understanding of yourself  and how you want to come across.

 

I liked the suggestion to just delete it.

 

Finally, depending on who they are as people, you could ask them what their objective was the next time you see them -- "Hey, were you trying to be hurt me by leaving that comment?" "What was your goal with that comment?" I realize that is only appropriate with some people.

 

Good luck to you and way to not go to their level. 

 

 

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I love your response, and admire your self control. I would have been so upset, PMS or no PMS, and been much harder on them than you were!  Facebook is not a medium for peoples' insecurity and/or rudeness, and adults especially should know better.  As a vegetarian when I see pictures of steak and burgers showing up on my feed I think it looks inedible and gross, and now that I'm W30 I think the same thing about pictures of junk food, but I would never say anything because 1) it's none of my business what other people are putting into their bodies, 2) I would never want to put that kind of negativity out into the world and 3) I have a life and a job and more important things to think about! Who are these people that have nothing better to do than sit around and judge others via the internet? For Heaven's sake! 

 

Power on, you'll live longer, be happier and healthier than they will be anyway!!!! 

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So not worth your energy to engage in dialogue with classless people!  There is a thread started by Natalie A in the Friends and Family section about friends criticizing the choice to do a W30 that might interest you. 

 

You'll have the last laugh because you'll look and feel better!

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People can be rude and that's no excuse but I also think there is something to be said about going about things on your own and not broadcasting every detail to people on Facebook. I mean it's one thing to bring your own dinner so you can be with family vs posting a breakfast for everyone to see. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to ask yourself why you are posting it in the first place? You are probably just excited about making this exciting change in your life but you should consider how this looks to other people. I know when I was on Facebook there were so many people who overshared every detail of their lives and it can be frustrating and makes you question their motives. Being someone who's tried a millions diets to fix health issues I find the best approach is to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. The bigger deal you make of your breakfast (and everyone eats breakfast so to many ppl it's not newsworthy) the more attention you get, both positive and negative. Leading quietly by example will get more ppl in your corner. And let your amazing results do the talking for you!

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My favorite response is one I learned from the Tomato Nation blog a long time ago:

"Why would you say that to me?"

Not only do you get some GREAT faces, but it actually makes some people THINK about what they just said. If they say, "Because it's gross," then you just repeat. "Why would you say that to me?"

Wash rinse repeat until they go away, or sometimes apologize.

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People can be rude and that's no excuse but I also think there is something to be said about going about things on your own and not broadcasting every detail to people on Facebook. I mean it's one thing to bring your own dinner so you can be with family vs posting a breakfast for everyone to see. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to ask yourself why you are posting it in the first place? You are probably just excited about making this exciting change in your life but you should consider how this looks to other people. I know when I was on Facebook there were so many people who overshared every detail of their lives and it can be frustrating and makes you question their motives. Being someone who's tried a millions diets to fix health issues I find the best approach is to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. The bigger deal you make of your breakfast (and everyone eats breakfast so to many ppl it's not newsworthy) the more attention you get, both positive and negative. Leading quietly by example will get more ppl in your corner. And let your amazing results do the talking for you!

 

I totally agree. Maybe it's because Im old (38)  but I just cannot even imagine the urge to post anything Im eating.  

 

 

Im not saying this about the OP, but when I see people 'oversharing' my mind screams "Attnetion w(*$e!" 

 

 

However, I don't say anything rude...I just hide them from my feed. Im only there to play candy crush :D

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Facebook is social. Food can be a social activity. Sharing photos of one's homemade food on facebook is a good thing.

 

Posting about very personal things (break ups and makeups and everything in between) is oversharing and demanding of attention. And as a 47 year, that I can do without.

 

Keep posting your food. :)

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maybe the photo just had poor lighting.

 

But seriously who cares, if they want to stuff themselves with pop tarts and diet coke for breakfast, then that's their problem, you can be confident in the fact that you are making awesome nutritional decisions that are going to make you a lot healthier and happier.  plus when you get to the point where you body is off all of the sugars and simple carbs and has turned into a fat burning machine, your results will really just speak for themselves.  Your body composition, skin, hair, moods etc will be great, and these guys will continue out growing their pants every 9 months or so.  

 

That said, keep posting the photos proudly.  Chances are, these guys know they have no discipline at all when it comes to this kind of stuff and are just making the comments to make themselves feel better about that.  

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People can be rude and that's no excuse but I also think there is something to be said about going about things on your own and not broadcasting every detail to people on Facebook. I mean it's one thing to bring your own dinner so you can be with family vs posting a breakfast for everyone to see. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to ask yourself why you are posting it in the first place? You are probably just excited about making this exciting change in your life but you should consider how this looks to other people. I know when I was on Facebook there were so many people who overshared every detail of their lives and it can be frustrating and makes you question their motives. Being someone who's tried a millions diets to fix health issues I find the best approach is to draw as little attention to yourself as possible. The bigger deal you make of your breakfast (and everyone eats breakfast so to many ppl it's not newsworthy) the more attention you get, both positive and negative. Leading quietly by example will get more ppl in your corner. And let your amazing results do the talking for you!

 

I was accumulating my photos for my own reference and to share them with others I do know who are doing the Whole30. I certainly do not overshare every detail of my life, or even close. There is no excuse for rudeness.

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