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Lovesmatt29 Whole30 log


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So I've been Paleo for about 9 months now.  I have two things that still firmly grasp me and I'm hoping the whole30 will help me shed them for good.  


The first is plain greek yogurt.  It's a protein crutch for me and keeps me from better sources of protein.  I also have to wonder if it is what has kept my skin from clearing up.  I still struggle with acne at the age of 32.  


The second is sugar.  I'm just an addict.  I consistently choose fruit over veggies and I love to make all my paleo desserts using coconut sugar and honey.  I will gladly skip veggies and instead have paleo treats.  


I'm ready to go "all in" and commit to the program.  No more waiting for the right time.  The time is NOW.

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Okay, so throughout the night I realized I have a much bigger vice than sugar and greek yogurt.  It's called the scale.  I'm a daily weigher.  The thought of not getting on it for 30 days was enough to make me back out.  I did my last weigh in this morning and I felt like a junky taking my last hit before going to rehab.  I wish I could say I'm excited and free, but I'm not.  I'm riddled with anxiety about this.


Don't get me wrong, I'm committed and see the scale as sugar, dairy or any other forbidden thing.  I just am realizing in this moment that giving up the scale will be harder for me than probably any other aspect of this process.  I seriously cannot imagine getting up tomorrow and not weighing in.


I have another vice that I think will be easier to fix and that's eating in front of the computer.  I never just sit at the table and eat my meal.  It's always in front of my computer.  That stops today.

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So before I officially start logging I should say that my style of eating is to go to Costco (or Trader Joe's or whatever) and buy a few things and then pretty much just eat those items until they are gone.  Then I go back and get something different for the next time.  I find that I spend less money this way and avoid wastage.  Plus I get really stressed out feeling like I "have to" eat certain things before they go bad.  If I have just a few options it works for me.  So, expect to see a lot of repeats.


Pre-breakfast workout: 40 minutes at 4 mph with weighted vest.


Breakfast: Almond milk, matcha green tea powder, gelatin, green beans, bacon, 2 egg whites and two whole eggs.


Lunch: Repeat of breakfast


Dinner: Repeat minus almond milk, green tea and gelatin.


I'm so stressed out about not being able to weigh in.  Seriously.  It's killing me.

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Yes, my almond milk is okay.  I used to buy whatever was on sale, but now I'm strict and only buy silk unsweetened.  Likewise will ALL meats and eggs.  I am hardcore about buying only the very best and for this reason I almost never dine out.  I'm a stickler for knowing exactly where my food came from.  


As for the fat question, does my bacon count?  If not, I better start looking for something to add!

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Okay, I can tell that staying off the scale for 30 days will be a bigger victory for me than the diet.  I seriously don't care about the food, but MAN do I want to weigh in.  It's a wake up call that I have a problem for sure.


Anyhow, I stayed off the scale today.


Workout: None, today is a scheduled rest day.


Breakfast: gelatin, almond milk and matcha green tea.  Three strips of bacon, green beans, blueberries, two whole eggs and two egg whites.


Lunch: gelatin, almond milk and matcha green tea.  Handful of almonds, three sausage links.  Lunch was an epic fail due to some awful stomach problems I was having.  I haven't eaten any more today and probably won't, due to feeling so sick.

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Stomach issues abound again today.  My only craving is for the scale, but I'm proud I haven't given in.  The good part about my scale obsession is I will only weight myself first thing in the morning before food or drink (I don't want to know how much my food or clothing weighs!), so once I get past it, I'm good until the next day.


Workout: 40 minutes of cardio (alternate between treadmill and elliptical), 20 minutes of weights.


Breakfast: Bacon, two eggs + two egg whites, green beans, apple with melted coconut oil, coffee with almond milk


Lunch: 1/4 spaghetti squash with ground beef tomato sauce, green beans roasted in olive oil, handful of almonds.  


Dinner: My stomach is very upset so I haven't decided if I'll eat or not, but if I do it will be same as lunch.

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I'm still staying off the scale.  This is the longest I've gone in probably 3 years, unless I'm on vacation.  Today I feel a little less stressed about it and a little more like it's better to stay off it.  


Breakfast: Spaghetti squash, ground beef tomato sauce, cashews (only one serving, go me!), almond milk, apple cooked in coconut oil


Lunch: same as breakfast less the almond milk


Dinner: haven't had it yet, but planning on spinach salad, grilled steak and the dressing on the salad will be sprayed olive oil and a sprinkle of sea salt.


No cravings and I'm feeling great!

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I'm continuing to stay off the scale.  It was a little difficult today but I pushed through.  I also had a major brownie craving today when I was at Starbucks with my kids.  I was fine until one of them didn't finish their's and then I wanted to eat it so bad!  I never eaten gluten off the whole30, but boy did I want that brownie.  I got up and threw it away though and once it was gone I felt better.  


No workout today.


Breakfast: Two eggs plus two egg whites cooked in ghee, green beans, sausage (I made my own "sausage" buy adding spices to my ground beef).  Also gelatin, almond milk and matcha green tea blended in my bullet.  


Lunch: spring mix salad with grilled steak and olive oil dressing, plus cashews. 


Dinner: same as lunch


Can I just say that I extremely proud of myself for being around nuts and not polishing off more than one serving in a sitting?  It's a big deal.

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Okay.  Fail.  Starting again tomorrow.


First, I stepped on the scale.  I decided to just make sure I don't do that again.  Then later in the day I realized the sausage I had grabbed because I was too lazy to make my own had evaporated cane juice (seriously?  Is sugar really added to everything?) and the individual bag of nuts I grabbed had cottonseed oil.  At this point I was feeling pretty discouraged, but the sausage and nuts were purely accidental.  Then came my mom's chocolate fondue birthday celebration.  I had already planned to enjoy some fruit and figured I'd be fine.  I really think I would have been if I hadn't had the weigh in and the two accidental slips but that little voice started telling me that I should just dig into the fondue because really I'd already messed up.  So I did.  And then I had some Doritos because my evil husband pulled them out "I need something salty now".  Ugh.  


So, tomorrow I start again.  


Here are somethings I'm happy about though, that my whole8 taught me:

1) sugar and nasty additives are in everything!!!  Best to avoid stuff that comes in a package as much as possible.

2) Vegetables are really pretty good if you take the time to prepare them properly (I don't like them just tossed in the microwave).

3) The scale can really mess with your head.  Best to avoid it and just focus on portion control and nutritious whole foods.

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