Feeling sad and disappointed on Day 31

[Dawn LaceLotus]

Today is day 31 for me and instead of feeling like celebrating I feel very discouraged.

I was very compliant and really thought this program would help me in ways no other food plan had. But instead of losing weight I gained weight and inches, instead of sleeping like a baby I am awake at 3AM wondering WTF. 

Was this a complete waste of time? I have already begun tracking my calories so that I can try to shed some pounds in a reasonable amount of time.

 

I am a very healthy eater  and exercise daily and so eating this way was super easy for me so I can't even guess where things went astray. I am reaching out because of the crazy sadness I feel at feeling like I have failed. 

 

[missmary]

I'm sorry you didn't get the results you were looking for. If you would like to post more information about your current height/weight, your typical eating and exercise patterns on the whole30, etc. we could take a look and see if there might be some tweaks that would change things around.

[GFChris]

I'm sorry, yet understand, in you being disappointed.

 

What missmary said.

 

It would also help to get an idea of how you ate pre-Whole30. You mention other food plans: are there other ways of eating you've tried? When did you try those relative to the start of your Whole30?

 

In addition, how's your current level of stress? Are you able to go to bed with a quiet mind? Anything in your health history that could be impacting your weight?
 

[Carlaccini]

Okay the sleep and the gaining weight thing - I get it.  If you don't get a good night's sleep then your body has a hard time with weight loss.

 

Have there been any positives that you can bring up - skin clearer, more energy, less lethargic at the end of the day? If so - that's a step in the right direction.

 

Are you able to post a couple of days meals?  It would help people out here, to help trouble shoot.

 

My 2 cents - I know for me if I consume any form of nuts I am pretty much guaranteed to - a) not go to the bathroom the next day have poor interupted sleep.  So you can imagine I stay fairly far away from nuts.  They do come in every so often but I will pay for it - so it's a pretty concious decision on my part.  But this is what happens to me.

 

Please do yourself a favour - Please don't count calories.  It's not a very healthy relationship with food.  I come from a place where I had a very bad relationship with food - and I would never go back.  I chronically underate at meals (because I was advised to) then was constantly hungry, I would fill the void with "healthy" snacks (think low fat high sugar content).  And yet I was still not over consuming calories but still gaining weight.  I have been whoel 30/paleo for the last 1.5 years and this is the first time that I have lost and maintained a weight loss.

 

Also keep in mind that somepeople just take longer.  My first whole 30 I took it to 45 days only because I felt I was 10 days behind the timeline.  I think I only started losing the last 2 weeks of my 45 too.  So try to be patient a little.

[LadyM]

I could have written the exact same post at the end of my first W30 one year ago. I did a W47, actually, and was terribly disappointed that I experienced none of the miracles I felt were promised by others' raving successes, and most importantly, that not only did I not lose weight, but I seemed to have gained pounds and inches.

 

One year later I can see all the benefits I gained without being able to see them at the time, including a fairly miraculous shift in my relationship with food that has continued to evolve and change my life for the better. I now better understand the depth and time and patience my healing required--and continues to require. I now see that a lifetime of trying to "eat healthy" and lose weight left my body starved for nutrients and so I responded by overeating, especially fats. Also, I wasn't ready to let go of nuts and fruit and nut butters as a kind of dessert crutch.

 

Now I realize that it's not that I was doing anything "wrong." This is all a process, and the path to success on it for me is to first and foremost remain curious and forgiving throughout that process. We've been lied to and tricked to believe that diets work and that we can lose weight quickly and healthfully. W30 is so much bigger than that. But it may take some time to come to that realization and to adjust your expectations--which, by the way, will surpass what you initially set out for yourself if you just give them a chance.

 

Having said that, i remember how painful and dire it was to end my W30 feeling like I was in worse shape than I started after a month of BEING SO COMPLIANT which I equated with GOOD. Where is the reward for my efforts, I cried to myself. Well, now I can say that they've come, and they keep arriving, and they're much more radical than weight loss.

 

I'm sorry you're suffering right now. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. And know that others have been where you are now and carried on and found more than what they were looking for.

[Dawn LaceLotus]

Thank you very much to all of the kind replies I've received....24 hours later and I am feeling much more calm about things and have altered my perspective...

I visited my naturopath dr. yesterday (it had been a very long time) and she helped me shed some light on what is actually going on. 

I am no stranger to cleanses and "healthy eating" - she helped me to see that eating on the Whole30 plan is  similar enough to how I usually eat that my body might take longer to notice any changes. She also helped me to see that I was still using food from fat sources as a source of comfort. And that because weight loss is a goal I really do not need to eat as much fat (or fruit!) as I have been but to focus on protein and lots and lots of vegetables. I totally feel like I can do this. 

I now see that the first 31 days were really a window into my relationship with food and gave me the insight to see that nuts and avocados are still potent food crutches. 30 days ago I would not have been able to look at using avocado as a condiment rather than a integral part of my meals. And I now see that abstinence from nuts is just going to make things easier for me.

I really think things will get much easier now. The truth is I want a food plan that works, full time and is easy to live with...focusing on protein and vegetables feels very doable now. and if I am eating this way consistently I really feel that that changes I seek will follow (and also allow for treats occasionally too!)

On the plus side I feel a lot more energized now and workouts are a breeze. Sleep was wonderful last night. I increased my magnesium intake from 100 mg to 400 mg. and oh wow what difference. 

Clear skin, digestion and weight loss will happen when it happens.

 

I'm going to start living my life and having fun anyway.

I am really seeing that the Whole30 is different for everyone and I did not fail at all...this was a huge transition and my relationship with food will just get easier. Very much in gratitude for this positive outlook and for all the support from this forum.

[LadyM]

Wow! Good for you! You've come around so much quicker than I was able to. So glad you've felt supported by the forum and your naturopath. I work with one, too, and she's been absolutely crucial.

 

Onward!

[Robin Strathdee]

Brilliant! We can't wait to share the rest of your journey with you!

[AmyS]

I read your original post and wanted to come back here to comment about seeing a naturopathic physician, but you went ahead and did it!  I found that my naturopathic physician helped me understand much more clearly which issues I had that could be resolved just with food, and which issues needed supplements, which needed stress management, which needed exercise, etc.  I think that we women especially read the "30 days" part of the plan with a perspective that we've learned from women's magazines (even if we are dedicated to NOT reading them - hello, that's me).  Generally, magazines sell diets by saying you can lose obscene amounts of weight in a month (the one I saw today in the checkout stand at the grocery store said 63 lbs in a month - freakin' scary!!!).  The idea behind the 30 days of Whole30 is radically different - it's about altering our relationship with food and then seeing where that leads us.

 

That said, I do see drastic, dramatic results with weight loss and improved sleep after Whole30s here on the forums - and 99.999999999% of the time those results are from males in their 30s.  What I see here, over and over, from women of all ages, is that Whole30 is the very beginning of a much larger, longer journey of healing our bodies and minds from the disastrous messages we've heard and internalized about how we "should" relate to food, how we "should" look, how we "should" be with regard to fitness, and even how much food we "should" consume in any one meal or day.  Very often the first 30 days is all about realizing that 30 days is just barely enough for us to understand how badly we've been abused with regard to food and our bodies.  I'm especially rant-y about this today after seeing the "lose 63 lbs. in a month" on the Women First magazine cover at the checkout counter today, but I think, generally, that we've been sold a bill of goods, and we've been told to be invisible, and we've been instructed not to eat, and we've been told that to eat and be truly healthy is to make us unfeminine (and goddess help us if we actually do not wish to be feminine, even with female bodies - but that's a gender binary rant for another time).

 

So - um - the point of all that is, take what you've learned from Whole30, trust yourself and your naturopath, and by all that is good and human and wonderful, eat as much real food as it takes to make your body fabulously healthy.  :wub: :wub:

[plummerhouse]

Wow @AmyS that is a brilliant take on it! It resonates so strongly with me!

I have really struggled through my whole30 (on day 28 now) while two men I'm doing it with are finding amazing results. But this past couple of days it's like I've just hit my stride. Running strongly again, and getting a much clearer feeling for how things I ingest affect my body.

I'm discovering that there is "dieting" (doing what I'm told will help me fit into the current vision of female perfection - thin, but not too thin, fit, but not too muscular), and then there is the whole30 (finding a relationship with food that is not reward and punishment, but nourishment and just what works). Last night I went to a friend's birthday party - 6 course degustation with matched wines, and just ate what worked, drank mineral water. Other women were saying "I don't know how you have the discipline". I don't, because this isn't about making my body do something it doesn't want to. It's about allowing my body to have what it needs, and then honouring its natural ability to function pretty bloody well when I let it!

Looking forward to the next forty years of enjoying and celebrating my body rather than punishing and shaming it.

[GFChris]

Oops sorry triple posted, don't know how to delete!! Maybe I should celebrate by learning some tech moves...

I took care of the extra posts - no worries! 

[plummerhouse]

Thank you!!

[LadyM]

Plummerhouse and Amy S, it makes me so happy to find what feels like true peers on this forum. It's so often a lonely world for us out there, isn't it? I love to find like-minded women who speak my language. Thank you!