Sugar addiction and occasional use

[amy3509]

I have an unhealthy relationship with food.  I use it to avoid a broad range of emotions (boredom, loneliness, stress, you get the idea) and for entertainment.  I have done 4 whole 30s over the past 3 years, in between which I have swung between sticking fairly close to paleo and eating very terribly.

 

I have learned a lot about myself these past 3 years and am better able to avoid emotional eating, have sought counselling to improve emotional health, etc.  Recently I completed the 21 day sugar detox after several months of being sugar dependent.  It went very well and for the first time I truly felt I had stopped eating emotionally.  The difference in my execution of the 21dsd and whole30's I've done is I ate very limited fruit (some days none at all).

 

Each time I reintroduce sugar I start very slowly - with things like 85% dark chocolate, not being so strict about small amounts of added sugars in a meal eaten out, that sort of thing).  It gets worse over a matter of weeks and within a few months I'm back at square one.

 

When I eat sugar of any kind I can feel my emotions and mood changing.  I feel like a different person.  With very small amounts the change is barely noticeable, with large amounts I barely recognize myself (quick to temper, easily annoyed, depressed, anxious, etc).  

 

I am beginning to wonder if I may need to completely avoid sugars forever in the same way that a recovered alcoholic cannot have a drink ever again.  I come from a family where alcoholism is common. I am not an alcoholic and can take or leave alcohol, for which I am grateful every day.  I've seen what alcohol has done to the people I love and I encounter addicted individuals in my work at homeless shelters daily so have seen the extreme effects there. I understand a great deal about addiction and so I don't use this word lightly and I don't mean to overstate my issue - people often use the word addiction when a much less serious word could be used.

 

Avoiding sugar for the rest of my life would be a serious feat and obviously the ideal situation would be to be able to ingest it in small amounts at infrequent intervals - like I do with alcohol .  What I'm wondering is whether for some people that is impossible?  Am I being too dramatic in thinking that I may not be physically capable of ever treating sugar like an occasional indulgence that I can take or leave?

 

Hopefully I have explained myself well. I have a very foggy head today after too much dark chocolate and other carbs yesterday and am having difficulty articulating my questions.

[runninglawyer88]

I wouldn't say you're being "dramatic" but I don't think that you have to avoid sugar forever if you don't want to. Getting a handle on your emotions sounds like it's going to be key for you since it seems like this is all very much connected to something bigger than the sugar itself. I think deep, emotional healing is the secret to most eating issues (including this one). I do think that maybe bright line rules surrounding your sugar intake might be necessary and useful until you are able to eat sugar in a more controlled manner. Since you were able to do the 21dsd I suspect you could make your own rules and get a handle on your sugar intake. 

[LadyM]

Why worry about forever? Why not simply do your W30 with minimal fruit as you suggest, and then not deliberately reintroduce sugar. You know it is toxic to your particular body. Maybe when the time comes that you feel steady and confident about trying something sugar-laden that is really worthwhile, give it a shot, and have a plan in place in case it doesn't go well--for example, plan to eat according to the template for one solid week afterward.

 

Alcohol is essentially a sugar. The fact that you can handle it moderately suggests to me that one day you'll be able to handle sugar sparingly as you continue to work with your emotions and balance your hormones through Whole 30 and Whole 9.

 

BTW, what you've described is very much like my own situation, and with time I've been able to manage the sugar dragon, always remembering that any sugar feeds him, so anytime I eat it tempts him to arise from his slumber. Whole 30 has given me the tools to rein him in when that happens.

[JJB]

My 2013 was very similar to your story. I gave up sweets for good on Jan 1st (I don't worry about ketchup/sauces once in awhile). For the last month or so I have not been tempted at all. It's a great feeling. I also hope I don't have to give it up forever, but I'm dubious that I will ever be able to just have a little bit without going totally nuts. I still catch myself thinking about having a treat sometimes, but it's always a list of things I want, not just one item. I guess for me it's important to not plan any outings into dessert-land, and as special occasions arise I can make a judgment call at that moment. 

[toronto416]

Every body reacts to different foods differently. I think it's important to find out what causes you have an emotional relationship with food, and then work on that. Maybe try going a little longer than 21 days without sugar, try 42. 

[Guest]

I could have written that post, it's not dramatic at all I am starting to get my head around the fact that I will probably have to avoid sugar for life too.

[AllyB]

Sign me up for the 'no sugar at all' club.  I have the same issue with sugar also.  I think some people's bodies just love sugar and want to use it as a fuel.  I love it but hate the way it makes me feel.  If I eat a little, I end up eating a lot.  I can't moderate.  At least not at this point.  So I just avoid it.  I can eat fruit though and stop at one serving.  But any type of processed sugar (cookies!) and I'm leaping off the wagon right on my head.  The best I can do is put the sugar dragon in jail.   But I have yet to slay him.

[Guest]

I am the same AllyB!

 

I love the taste, but it sends my mental health on an absolute rollercoaster. 

[plummerhouse]

Me too. I can eat whole fruit without too many dramas, but dried fruit or any type of processed sugar sends me off the rails. I quit sugar in October 2010 and was off it for nearly 2 years, but it crept back in over the last couple. 

 

Getting on the Whole30 and giving up sugar again was honestly a relief for me. I just don't have to think about it anymore. PHEW! And yes, I still have a momentary sadness when faced with a cupcake

[courageandkale]

I could have written this post word for word!  Wow- it is actually a bit of a relief that other people are struggling in the same way that I am, and I do wonder if I should give up sugar forever as well.  I have been contemplating another Whole30 because sugar has snuck back into my life and I don't feel like I have control- I think that I may be addicted to sugar, and even just a small amount is enough to trigger my bad habits.      

[lovesmatt29]

Yeah, I completely agree!  You are not alone.  I totally plan to not reintroduce sugar at all other than probably the occasional birthday party or something.  I actually felt extreme relief starting my whole30 and having it be off limits.  I have always felt like the only time it doesn't control me is when I completely abstain from it.  

 

I don't think you are being dramatic as I know the roller coaster of ride and continual battle.  Mine always starts back up very innocently.  A bite here, a bit there and then the next thing you know I've eating a tub of ice cream and am looking for the cookies.  It's crazy!

[amy3509]

Thank you for your replies!  It helps to hear from others who can relate.  I am spending the weekend doing some meal planning and thinking about what approach to take going forward. I do well with guidelines but have difficulty when they end at a predetermined number of days.  I'm thinking with a solid set of personal guidelines that I recommit to one day at a time, I may have the best of both worlds.  Your replies have helped me in my thinking around what that might look like, so thank you for that.

 

I have come to terms with the idea that my reliance on sugar is serious enough that I need to avoid it as much as I am able for an undetermined length of time, with the idea that perhaps someday it will become manageable.

[AmyS]

One thing we have to keep in mind is that most of what we've eaten all day every day until Whole30 contained sugar.  Even (especially) foods marketed as health foods.  Those of us who bought into the low fat eating model that seems to be still in force ended up replacing fat with sugar.  Sugar is in commercial broths, canned vegetables, canned and cured meats, jarred tomato sauces of all kinds, and it's in a dizzying array of other foods many of us once ate commonly, considering them healthy.  Also, if we bought into the lie that low fat means healthier, we may have thought we were doing very well on low fat versions of sweet snacks and drinks.  If you add all of that up, it amounts to decades (for some of us) of ingesting sugar with every meal and every snack.  Getting rid of it is going to cause our bodies to complain - a lot.  We do better without sugar, but at first it's just such an unfamiliar way for our bodies to function.

 

It makes sense that many of us will need a very long period of time without sugar or with very limited sugar before our sugar dragon is sound asleep.  We've been eating sugar constantly for longer than we can recall.  It is going to take more than 30 days to change what our brains think about how our bodies function without it.

 

But - we can do it!

[AllyB]

Decades, yes.  4.5 to be exact.  My sugar addiction is bad enough that I'm a month post whole 30 and I still get daily cravings.  They aren't as bad as they were at first.  But they are still present and I'm eating pretty clean still.

[Real Food Y'all]

I, too, could have written the original post word for word. I have done 2 Whole 30s, each about a year apart, and I can stick to the rules during those, but outside of the constraints of the Whole30, my life is a S.A.D. free-for-all and I swim in a sea of Nutella and ice cream. (Sometimes both combined.) I have been thinking of trying the 21 day sugar detox.

 

Amy, is everyone else in your household onboard the paleo train, or are you like me, and doing this alone, amidst a kitchen full of your boyfriend's Easy Mac and hot dog buns? Not saying my sweet tooth is anyone else's fault, but it does not help matters at. All.

[AllyB]

Having a support team (ie. everyone else in the house doing the same diet) REALLY makes a big difference.  My husband and I are still eating really clean post-whole 30 and my daughter (who is 8) eats pretty good since she doesn't have much choice    I don't think I could do it alone!

[amy3509]

I am fortunate to have a husband who is on board with paleo.  He also falls off the wagon the same way I do . . . bit by bit at first, and then a spectacular fall.  Having his commitment to this way of eating has been really important, although sometimes we are each others worst influence . . . 

 

The first time I tried "primal" (before the whole30 existed, back in 2009) he was unconvinced but I sort of 'dared' him to try it with me for 3 weeks.  I told him that if after that period he wanted to go back he could, but he was convinced after those 21 days.  Ever since it has been an on again off again thing for both of us . . . although more off than on, I'm sad to say.  When we are "on the wagon" ridding the house of non compliant food has been crucial for success.

 

Our 3 boys eat paleo + dairy at home but while at their child care provider they eat what is served.  

[amy3509]

Forgot to mention . .. I did come up with a set of guidelines I think I can live with for the foreseeable future.  They are:

 

- limit fruit to 1 serving per day (and mostly avoid the very sweet fruits like pineapple)

- no sugar (including honey, maple syrup, etc etc, - all sweeteners)

- very occasional wine or gin, no more than 1-2 at a time (being mindful that drinking alcohol can drive cravings and can lead to bad food choices)

- full fat dairy allowed (I don't suffer any ill effects and don't consume large quantities)

- be cautious with paleofied foods, even when they meet the above criteria

 

It likely goes without saying, but I will also continue to avoid the other big paleo no-nos i.e. grain in all forms and bad fats.

[Midlyfechrysalis]

Amy3509, I am only on day 14 of my first Whole 30. But I am already formulating my approach post Whole 30 - 1. Your list is a great starting point for me and very helpful. Thank you. I plan on transitioning (back) to low carb - the healthy kind, not the bacon double cheeseburger kind.

[Peg541]

I'm here because I scared myself with two boxes of Peeps. My mouth still waters driving past the store I got them in three weeks ago. Peeps with breakfast? No way.

This is only day 3 for me but I have no cravings. I suppose I will. I'm a weight watcher trying to keep off 133 lbs. I will deal with them as they come. Hope so anyway.

Thanks for your honesty about sugar. I'm 64 and never knew I was a sugar person till recently.

[snowflower]

I'm in the same boat.

After 2 Whole30s in the past year, I've learned that http://paleomg.com/easy-chocolate-almond-butter-cups/ , frozen fruit / coconut milk "ice cream", and dark chocolate don't wake up my sugar dragon. But any sort of paleofied cookie or cake does!

[amy3509]

I thought I would come post an update and check in to see how others are doing.

 

Other than a four day vacation where I drank too much wine and ate off plan where I couldn't control what was being served, things have been going very well.  It is still only a few weeks in and there are times I get overwhelmed because while it feels like I have been doing it FOREVER I also realize it has been a short period of time and then my brain spins into "how can I keep this up?  I'm terrible at follow thru! I'm going to screw this up eventually!  I've never been able to maintain this kind of lifestyle!" and other such fatalistic and negative self talk.  I am challenging that talk and trying to replace it with positive thinking, but it is a tough slag.  Who  would have thought that decades of thinking and behaving one way would be difficult to change in three weeks?  ha ha ha

 

I also have a deep desire to lose the weight I've gained over the past year - about 40 lbs - and I find that my impatience stems from that quite a bit.  I am really trying to steer my thoughts away from weight loss because it can really consume me, discourage me, and lead to veering off track.

 

So, for today I am doing well.  I plan to continue doing well.  My biggest battle is with maintaining positive thought and managing difficult emotions without food.  

[littleg]

I'm so torn on this issue.  [And I wrote way more than I meant to! I get worked up over this stuff.]

 

View A.  If I were to say to someone... I just don't know what to do - heroin makes me crazy.  I use once and then all I can think about is using again... so I really just want to eliminate it.  But I'm afraid people will think I'm crazy for saying that I NEVER want to use heroin again.  I mean NEVER is such a long time...  I mean really, it makes total sense that saying heroin/alcohol/nicotine whatever makes that statement totally crazy, but if you say sugar/dried fruit/Twinkies then the person *saying* it is crazy because who would ever eliminate a food? (sorry, that was bad grammar, I hope my meaning got through a little)

 

View B.  Addictions are nothing more than habits.  They are VERY WELL ESTABLISHED neurological connections in our brain (this is touched on in ISWF).  They are learned habits - if they were learned because of abusive childhoods, bad breakups, boredom or just a mom who always served dessert to show you she loved you - at the end of the day your brain has come to recognize that boredom/sadness/1 tasty thing/the end of dinner --> eat and eat and eat.  Just like your right foot naturally steps on the brake when you see a kid on a bike come screaming out into the street without you having to think - I should move my foot to the brake now.  Thus, to end a habit one simply has to stop ACTING on the URGE to follow through with the habit.  Eventually the neurological connections will fade and the urge won't be so severe and (ideally) eventually it goes away.   Think back to the violin you played in HS but stopped playing or when you were a HS sports player or whatever - you had lots of neurological connections that allowed you to excel.  But they are gone now.  I played the violin for 8 years.  I stopped for about 15 years and decided to start again.  Holy shit.  I sucked.  I couldn't even drag the bow straight!  Those neurological connections are gone.  I have to THINK about finger position - it no longer comes naturally.  When I first start crossfit I couldn't do a squat clean to save my life.  I'm really friggin' good at them now.  Why?  Neurological connections.  That will be gone when I give up crossfit for 15 years.  Based on this, I think that one just has to decide to quit binge eating.  You will NOT give that neurological connection the right to fire.  You will stop it.  Eventually it will fade.  Just like your violin skills and your olympic lifting skills.  

 

And thus, I'm torn.  Abstaining from sugar makes my urges diminish a lot.  Thus, I'd like to think those neurological connections are diminishing.  But clearly (if you read my journal you'll know... sigh) they are not gone.  So on the one hand I 100% believe that my binge eating is not emotion driven.  Counseling, dealing with issues, whatever, the binge eating isn't related.  Its an f'in habit.  My world is sunshine and puppy dogs - I binge eat.  My world is in the crapper - I binge eat. If anyone on this thread goes out and gets Brain Over Binge you'll see she says that she does not recommend limiting food variety - you'll never cure binge eating if you can't eat just one cookie.  But I'm not sure I agree.  My binge eating is so much better since the W30 and I think a lot of it has to do with (a) eating better and more nutritious food in general and (b ) my triggers are limited (mainly sugar).  So, ugh, I don't know.  I guess I just wanted to exercise my fingers and hear myself talk

[LadyM]

@littleg, my recovery has required (and continues to require) a multi-pronged approach and a whole lot of time. As in decades. Therapy, feminist theory, 12-step, Geneen Roth and the ilk have all led me on a fruitful path of self inquiry. This has helped. But they can only go so far without proper nourishment in my experience. There is a physiological response that must be addressed. I've also read Brain Over Binge and found it helpful. Another thing that's been great for me is I don't expect perfection and I don't pathologize myself and my behaviors all the time.

I believe there is a middle way, and it probably doesn't look the same for all of us. So, here's to gathering all the tools, keeping what's useful, letting go what isn't, and finding our own messy ways through.

[LisaLulu]

My husband is like this. He's constantly trying to give up sweets and then after about 2 days goes on a mad bender consuming all the chocolate he can find. I've always been able to eat a normal portion and leave it once satisfied. But doing the whole 30 made me realize that I do tend to crave sugar when I'm exhausted and I have replaced that habit with herbal tea. Now whenever I feel that exhausted need for a 'break' my first thought is 'I need a tea' instead of 'I need a hot chocolate/treat/ect' So in the future I am going to think twice about WHY I'm wanting sweets before eating them. I do enjoy chocolate though or eating dessert at special occasions so I'm going to continue to do so when I'm done. But someone like my husband probably really just needs to give it up totally.