Husband Thinks He's Eating Too Much? (yet low energy)

[AJCHarp]

My husband and I started W30 on March 23: my second, his first. The Whole30 this time was his idea, which made me incredibly excited! He has many medical and health issues, and I have wanted to move us toward a more whole foods approach to life for some time.

Here's the kicker: He is incredibly concerned that he's eating too much, that his stomach will stretch, and he will gain weight. I need help knowing if he is eating too much, or if that idea isn't true.

We are on Day 13. He's over 6'5" tall and lean, but his job is mostly sedentary. He walks at least 1/2 mile per day, and whatever he walks between various offices. He doesn't have the energy to do much more physically.

I am the one doing all the meal prep and planning, and I'm the one saying "you need to eat all of what I send for lunch," etc. I haven't followed the AIP, although I'm wondering if that would've been good for him.

Am I giving him too much to eat? He's scared he is eating too much, and I'm scared I'm not giving him enough, especially starchy carbs and fats. (He hates sweet potatoes, all squashes, and what he thinks are weird vegetables; he gags on avocado; and he's severely allergic to nuts and coconut.)

Sample meal plan

Meal 1. 6:15-6:45 am, depending on the day

3 eggs, cooked with 1.5-2 T olive oil or ghee

Kale, bell peppers sautéed down to 3-4-1 c. and 1/8 c. compliant sausage, cooked in 1.5-2 T olive oil or ghee

Salsa (compliant)

1/2-1 pear or apple, or 1/3 banana with several strawberries

Water

Meal 2 (eaten at work; timing varies between 10:30 am-1:30 pm)

1/3 lb. Burger (grassfinished beef mixed with spices and about 1/4 c. grated sweet potato, cooked in its own fat)

3-4 Bibb lettuce leaves to wrap the burger

3 stalks of celery, possibly some baby carrots

1/2 apple or pear

2 T homemade mayo/ranch dip

Handful of raw sunflower seeds if needed

Water

Mini-meal (10 am, or 2-3 pm)

3-4 strips beef jerky (compliant; homemade)

Sunflower seeds (if he really is low energy)

Raw veggies or leftover fruit from lunch

Dinner (5:30-6 pm)

Beef pot roast (3 slices; grassfinished)

1/3 c. whipped cauliflower (with ghee)

1/8 c Gravy made by blending pot roast juices/fats with cooked onions and cauliflower

1/2 c. Roasted green beans (w/olive oil)

1 c salad greens, topped with 1-2 T homemade ranch dressing and a sprinkling of sunflower seeds

Water

Current health: male, age 32, 6'5" & lean, chronic IBS symptoms, low immune response, extreme fatigue/exhaustion, symptoms of low testosterone, chronic insomnia, severe food allergies, history of clinical depression/anxiety and of stress, joint pains, torn labrum in shoulder/severe constant pain, etc.

He says he feels like his stomach is extended in W30, and he has bouts of lightheadedness. He deals with low energy every day (prior to W30 he would self-medicate this low-energy by eating fruit and drinking a coke). This sounds to me like not enough food (carbs/fats), but he thinks it is too much.

Help?

[Tom Denham]

The amount sounds okay for a man his size. The meal template - http://whole9life.com/book/ISWF-Meal-Planning-Template.pdf - adjusts for size, so check it out for him.

 

You might be feeding him a bit more fat than necessary, especially if he feels full. And with IBS, it might be best to eliminate all nuts and seeds. I think you could eliminate nuts and seeds and still have enough fat based upon your report of his meals. 

 

Some people have trouble digesting fats because their gut bacteria is not up for the task. Your husband might benefit from taking digestive enzymes for several months while his gut bacteria adjusts to the kind of foods he is eating now. You and he might want to review this article: http://whole9life.com/2012/09/digestive-enzymes-101/

[missmary]

nope. not too much. This is less food than I eat, and I'm a 5'-1" female.

 

That said, you could tweak things a bit. Fruit is not needed, and could be cut out entirely. Ditto the snack. I would much rather see him eating a 1/2lb burger and a couple cups of veggies at lunch vs. snacking on sunflower seeds and fruit later. Make sure the meat portions are the size of this palm based on volume, not just length and width and encourage him to take the time to see this through 30 days. Lots of his health issues could be helped by eating this way, but it will take time.

 

ps. His stomach will not "stretch causing him to gain weight" He may gain weight, yes, if he needs to to get to a healthy place. Gaining weight may help with hormone balance and fatigue in particular; but this has nothing to do with stomach stretching due to larger food volume.

[AJCHarp]

Background:

He grew up in a household of Hamburger Helper and meals cooked & eaten individually, whenever one was hungry. Processed foods were the order of the day. He was a sickly child and was finally diagnosed with severe allergies in junior high and could eat only rice cakes and one or two other things for several years. He says those allergies are resolved now, except for a deathly peanut allergy and severe tree nut, mushroom, lavender, and coconut allergies.

In high school he says he ate healthfully by having lots of salads with non-fat dressing. In college and as a bachelor, he subsisted mostly on SlimFast for breakfast, sandwiches or nothing for lunch, and pasta with sauce or delivery pizza for supper, washed down with water, Gatorade, or coca-cola. After we started dating, he sometimes made spinach, yogurt, and fruit smoothies for breakfast instead of Slimfast. We've been married 6 months, so he has increased his veggie, meat, and fruit intake since then. He still ate SlimFast, pasta, sandwiches, cheese, sweets, soda, etc. He quit sodas about one month before W30, but still drank fruit juice and other sweetened beverages.

His family has a history of heart disease, cancer, kidney disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and more.

His joints, teeth, and bones show (to me) the deficits of his diet in formative years. Multiple fractures, teeth needing removal due to bone degeneration in the jaw or to tooth fracture, joint pain, etc.

He was walking 2-8 miles/day from 2006-2012 (doesn't drive), and he used to have weights and work out at home. Over the past two years his available energy dwindled, and he is much more sedentary as a result.

His stress levels have been extremely high in the past several years (finishing his PhD in a highly competitive program), but I believe he's operated this way (high stress, performance-driven) since early high school.

He has also been a chronic insomniac since high school. He had three days straight of no sleep at the beginning of W30, but that has evened out to at least 4 hours of restless sleep/night lately. His sleep is restless right now, both due to environmental factors and his shoulder pain. n4-5 hours of straight sleep (without waking) is very, very good for him. He does not take sleep meds at this time, although he has in the past.

He will soon be going to a doctor to test thyroid, testosterone, adrenals, etc. He has experienced IBS-like symptoms for the past several years, and he has been experiencing diarrhea on W30.

I'm desperately hoping he will see and feel good things from the Whole30, rather than the current feelings he expresses of "this was supposed to make me feel better, not worse. I don't know if it is worth the trouble."

[AJCHarp]

The amount sounds okay for a man his size. The meal template - http://whole9life.com/book/ISWF-Meal-Planning-Template.pdf - adjusts for size, so check it out for him.

...

I think you could eliminate nuts and seeds and still have enough fat based upon your report of his meals.

...

You and he might want to review this article: http://whole9life.com/2012/09/digestive-enzymes-101/

Thanks for the links and the reassurance. He says he's always full and never hungry, except for when he eats his snack (which I tried talking him out of, but he was soooo energetically cranky without it!).

I knew the template, but hadn't seen the enzymes article. I brought up enzymes yesterday, but didn't have anything for him to read about why they are important.

I guess I was paranoid he wouldn't get enough fats because of his coconut/nut allergies (and vomiting avocados). Glad to know the fats seem an appropriate amount!! I'll scale back on that and see how he reacts.

[AJCHarp]

ps. His stomach will not "stretch causing him to gain weight" He may gain weight, yes, if he needs to to get to a healthy place. Gaining weight may help with hormone balance and fatigue in particular; but this has nothing to do with stomach stretching due to larger food volume.

Very good to know. Thank you.

[AllyB]

It sounds like your husband also needs to fix his stress levels.  Stress has a huge impact on people....all parts, sleep, digestion, weight, mental ability etc etc.  My husband's health has improved greatly due to changes in his job that reduced his stress level greatly.  I also have to remind him 'this is someone else's problem, not yours, don't worry!'  He has realized how detrimental stress was to his health.  But he still needs to be reminded not to let it affect him. Some people stress out easier than others.  But reducing stress is an important part of getting healthy.

 

We also made some changes to improve our sleep quality.  Making the room dark, quiet and comfy really goes a long way towards getting a restful night sleep.  Our dogs sleep no longer sleep in our bedroom because they would wake us up several times a night.  We covered up little lights on various electronics to make the room really dark.  And we make an effort to get to bed early.

 

My husband is about the same size as yours.  I think they eat similar amounts.  He shouldn't be worried about gaining weight right now.  It sounds like the focus should be on improving how he feels.  Then worry about weight later.

 

As far as the decreased energy....if he's used to getting a lot of sugar (from cokes etc), then the lack of sugar now could be making him feel lethargic.  I felt that way when I started my whole 30.  I wanted to quit because I couldn't imagine that there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  But there is.  Encourage him to keep at it.

 

Good luck!

[littleg]

You have switched him to a pretty low carb diet.  If he was a sugary eater prior to this he will feel like crap for a while until his lipolytic enzymes ramp up.  If he has made it to day 13 he should be getting close to feeling better without carbs.  However, if you don't necessarily want to keep him on a low carb diet have you looked at other starches?  Plantains are the only ones that come to mind but you could fry those up like chips and make this recipe.  And make some extra for me!  I've never actually met anyone who doesn't like sweet potatoes... have you tried making them different ways?  Mashed, fried, roasted...?  Maybe you could sneak them in food?  nomnompaleo has a good spicy tuna cake recipe which would get him a decent sized serving of sweet potatoes via the tuna cake without necessarily knowing.  

[GFChris]

I agree with littleg on including more carb dense veggies to help with his energy. I see only 1/4 c sweet potato in the sample you listed. If he's going to have sweet potato, have the WHOLE sweet potato.  Include at least one carb dense vegetable daily. Besides sweet potatoes and plantains, they include beets, carrots, jicama, winter squash, rutabaga and parsnips.  

Also, make sure he's staying sufficiently hydrated. Aim for drinking water, in the amount of at least half his body weight in ounces, daily.

[AJCHarp]

He gags on sweet potato, butternut squash, etc. and he dislikes rutabaga, parsnips, pumpkin, and carrots. He'll eat the "dislike" category, if I really dice them and make them take on other flavors. I'm not sure how to explain, but textures are incredibly important in whether or not he can tolerate a food. Mashes/custards/mealy textures will make him gag, which then makes his stomach too upset to eat other foods.

I did manage to make a soup he liked that included some butternut squash blended into the broth, and I put grated sweet potatoes in meatballs, chili, and burgers. He is okay with that.

I'll try some fried sweet potato cakes tomorrow. Perhaps grated and savory will go down more smoothly than mashed, sweet, and/or custardy.

[jent103]

I used to hate sweet potatoes, but I really like this sweet potato hash - I'll add compliant sausage (like Aidell's chicken apple, or whatever), and/or put some poached eggs on top. It's not sweet, not mashed (and definitely not custardy!).

[Tina R]

Have you tried roasting the vegetables? I coat them in coconut oil or ghee, salt and pepper and roast in the oven for 45 min or so. I make sweet potato fries (with sweet potatoes not yams). Sweet potatoes are not as sweet as yams. How about kale chips, Brussels sprout chips or mushroom chips? Check out Nom Nom Paleo for recipes. I also love spinach, kale or beet greens boiled, drained and add a splash of lemon or lime, salt and pepper. I also like beets this way. How about vegetable soup?

[littleg]

So its a texture thing than more than a flavor thing?  You could fry them like latkes to get them crispy.  Or use a mandolin to make thin slices and make sweet potato chips.  

[AJCHarp]

So its a texture thing than more than a flavor thing? You could fry them like latkes to get them crispy. Or use a mandolin to make thin slices and make sweet potato chips.

Ugh. I thought it was just texture. Taste must be part of it, though. All of the things he hates/dislikes are slightly sweet.

I made roasted parsnips for supper: sliced thin, seasoned with salt, pepper, and garlic, and roasted in ghee. He got about half of them down before he started gagging. He eventually coughed up some of his supper, and now (30 minutes later) he's alternately gagging, burping, and fighting a very queasy tummy. We ate far fewer fats this meal, too, so the tummy troubles seem just a reaction to the parsnips.

Thanks everyone for the help. We are both pretty discouraged...me because I can't figure out what to feed him, and he because the only starchy vegetables allowed are ones he doesn't like/can't stomach. (The only starchy vegetable he likes/can stomach appears to be the white potato, which is off-plan for W30.)

[MrsStick]

Celery root is less sweet for a root veggie...maybe that could help?

[GLC1968]

Honestly, in this case, white potato might be worth considering.  It's not included in the Whole30 mostly because American's generally eat too many and they push other veggies off our plates.  Assuming he doesn't have a nightshade problem, they are probably pretty benign.

 

I'm not a moderator, but in the interest of getting some carbs into him, perhaps they can give you a green light to try it?

 

That said, I don't like sweet or mushy veggies either.  I do like parsnips or beets when roasted (or grilled) because they remain somewhat firm.  I season them with savory flavors to balance out the sweet.  Maybe that's worth a try?

[praxisproject]

Is he okay with FODMAPs? Apples & Pears are both FODMAPs

[MrsStick]

Plaintains might be an option too - they're not sweet (that I've ever had) and are higher in carb load than white potatoes even.

 

Beets have a totally different taste/texture, but if he can't take the relatively tame parsnip...maybe a step too far for now. Same with rutabagas/turnips/etc. although they aren't sweet at all.

 

Last parting thought - just an observation, not trying to hurt feelings - it's kind of sad that people can't eat real food because they never ate it before. That people eating 'food' can be so ingrained that food is supposed to be like the highly processed, highly adulterated stuff that they can't physically stomach the real stuff. *sigh* Reading this makes me really glad that my hubby doesn't have these issues, and we found this way of eating before having kids.

[AJCHarp]

We're almost through. Day 29 is tomorrow.

 

I have added in some red potatoes with mashed cauliflower to top shepherd's pie (not crazy about that, but better than him not being able to function in his job), mixed various starchy pureed veggies into chili, and continue putting grated sweet potatoes in his burgers and meatballs. He has also increased his fruit intake just slightly, but not as much apples/pears. He's eating fewer sunflower seeds/butter and some other fats, and lately he's been eating the entire lunch I send to work (with extra protein, etc.). He is still low energy, but not quite as bad. I don't know how much is from food v. the chronic insomnia and pain levels from a shoulder injury, neither of which have gotten better during Whole 30. 

 

I'm really, really proud of him. This W30 was his idea, and he's stuck it out even though it's been really hard on him. He has slowly been re-adjusting his taste buds to whole foods, but I take his taste/texture aversions seriously because of some other really severe allergies (and it's possible his body rejects foods that he is sensitive to). He's looking forward to the reintroduction phase, but is already talking about sticking with lettuce-wrapped burgers instead of a turkey/cheese sandwich for lunches, etc.