No aesthetic results - what should I do next?

[littleg]

I'm going to get yelled at.  I'm sorry.  I got on the scale 3 days early.  I'm pretty sure not much will change by Monday.  I put on a pair of pants this morning I thought might fit and they didn't.  So of course I then got on the scale and tried on those damn "skinny" jeans I keep around - and nothing has changed.  I stupidly did not take measurements when I started because I was too lazy to deal with the string and the tape measure... I should have.  So here I am on day 27 and while things are heaps better in all the things the world can't see (my mental state, my binge eating, eating three balanced meals) I am truly disappointed in the pack of physical changes.  I am a crossfitter.  I'm tired of looking like a pudgy crossfitter.  I'd love to wear a bikini.  These are things I can't do with the extra 10 lbs of fat I've got.  I'm not making this up.  I'm 143 lbs and 5'2".  The scale will always be high because I am muscular.  I'm ok with that.  I'm not shooting for 105.  I'm shooting for 135.  I finally found the resources to quit binge eating about 3 months ago.  Prior to that when I complained about not losing weight in the back of my head I always knew it was somewhat of a lie - because when you eat 4-5000 calories a day or two a week it makes sense you won't lose weight.  I haven't binged since January.  27 days ago I started the W30 never expecting to make it.  It has helped with the binge urges tremendously.  Having been paleo for 3 years now so I did not come into this and overdo it on coconut butter and Lara bars.  I have followed the template to the T except for 2 munchy evenings where I overate a bit.  I have not had excessive amounts of fruit, avocado or sweet potatoes.  I've documented every morsel that has gone into my mouth in my log here and I honestly feel like I've done everything perfect (but I may be wrong).  I eat to the template.  I eat 3 meals.  I don't snack.  I have a post WOD snack.  I WOD 3-4 days a week - nothing excessive.  My sleep is ok - 7.5-8 hrs a night (I've been naturally waking up early since starting the W30 but am sound asleep by 9 most nights).  

 

Because of the mental changes I'm going to stick with the W30 and try a W60.  BUT, for goodness sakes, I'd like to see some physical changes.  I'm going to measure this time too so in case I'm losing fat everywhere except where I'd like to I'll know this time  Who knows, maybe I lost an inch around each wrist  Anyway, I'm just feeling so disappointed and thought maybe there are some mistakes I'm making someone else might catch or some other ideas to try.  Thanks.

[Carlaccini]

Little G - Big Virtual Hug!

 

Forget about the weight for a moment.  Just one moment.  The weight is just ONE PIECE of an entire puzzle that makes you, you.  You will soon learn it is only a small piece.  Let's count your successes - well after reading your comments here an there in the forums I know you are recovering quite nicely from binge eating.  That's one big plus right there.  Are you sleeping better?  Do you have more energy?  Is your skin better?  Let's count the physical/mental positives.  The whole 30 is so much more than a number on a scale.

 

You see I have been doing whole 30's/Paleo since mid August 2012.  I'm a big woman (read 5'9", stocky build, was 260 lbs) I lost 35lbs within 7 months.  But then I stopped.  I plateaued big time.  I added excersise  2 to 3 times a week.  Weight hasn't budged.  I've gotten more muscular/ more toned, but the scale has not budged!!! I went low carb for a few weeks - stomach unhappy, hormones REALLY unhappy.  And you know what I've come to realize?  I look healthy (skin glows) I feel healthy (Hormones happy), and overall, besides that number on the scale, I'm happy.  I'm still tweaking things, working on things, and I'm frustrated to some degree (So I hear ya!!) but do try to be patient, and realize that the successes are so much more than weight loss.  I've come to terms that yes I am 37 year old, and I am 5'9" and I weigh 225lbs - and I look more healthier than I have in years.

[GFChris]

First off, I'm applauding you for all the "heaps better" changes you've made in the past 27 days.

I'm sorry you're disappointed in the number.  What Carlaccini said about that.  Plus, I invite you to read this article: http://everydaypaleo.com/attention-scale-addicts-part-2/

If you decide to extend another 30 days, I suggest (and I see you began doing this ~ day 20 in your log), dropping the fruit for "dessert" for the next round.  Keep to 1-2 fruit servings per day, where a serving size is the size of your fist.  Only have the fruit as part of your meals.

Also, measure yourself on day 31, so you have some measurements for comparison on day 61. 

Oh, and please only weigh yourself on day 31 and day 61 over the next 34 days. 

[pjena]

I feel your pain.  I have 10 lbs to lose, too, that isn't moving no mater what I do, despite trying to eat W30ish for a year now.  I am working on eating as clean as possible because I like the benefits I do get (no cold sores, happier tummy, not being hungry all the time, less likely to binge).  But, I am also working on just being ok with where I am.  10 lbs doesn't matter to my husband or my kids or my friends or my job.  So, I'm working hard on not letting it matter so much to me.  That doesn't mean I will stop trying, but I will try not to let it impact my happiness and mood or keep me from doing what I want to do. 

 

From your other posts about binge eating, I think going for a W60 is a good idea.  It will give you more time to feel stronger and more in control before you have to ride your own bike.  Tweaking things along the way is fine, too.  Focus on the good things that have changed.  My mood is so much more stable when I am eating 3 meals a day and not binging on cereal at night.  That is worth it in itself.

 

Hang in there!  Focus on the positive.

[Tom Denham]

With some people, weight loss takes more time. What you are reporting sounds good. I bet if you continue on the same trajectory you are on, you will begin to see movement in the direction you like with more time. Maybe another month, but eventually.

[littleg]

Thanks for the feedback guys.  I appreciate it.  I'm trying to keep in mind the positive changes I've seen:

 

The biggies

- binge urges way down

- dessert addiction lessened - some nights I have to white knuckle, some nights I could care less about dessert

- I'm so much happier when I don't try on my skinny jeans or get on the scale

- I have realized that connecting my happiness to the scale # is asinine.  I don't have control over that.  However, connecting my happiness to the choices I make brings me much more satisfaction and a happier and calmer disposition since I AM in control of my choices

- Some days I swear my clothes fit better but maybe its in my head

- Cramps and length of my period were much less this month (I'd love to have a n=2 for this observation)

 

The negatives

- the time and mental energy to plan and cook this way all the time (though it has gotten easier)

- no changes that  I can see in the mirror

 

I'm very grateful that I don't have skin problems, sleep problems, energy problems, lab test problems etc (3 years of paleo has probably helped with this) so I don't see many of the other benefits people see - which makes this frustrating.  I had one goal: fat loss.  

 

What I have noticed looking back in my food log - I do think I may be eating a little too much.  I've refrained from calorie tracking but today I entered in some of my more common meals.  And they are 6-700 calories.  Which is sort of ok since I don't snack.  But maybe I could be satiated on a little less.  For example - for breakfast I've been eating creamed spinach and the clothesmakethegirl squash recipe.  Between my serving size of the squash and then the coconut milk in the spinach those two "sides" are nearly 400 calories.  I didn't realize that.  I think I need to be a little more aware of prepared veggies (i.e. vegetable "recipes") that may have more calories than I realize versus just steamed/sauteed veggies. From now on I need to probably go with just one of those two options instead of both.  I'm going to try to abstain more from dessert (even just fruit) after dinner.  Hubs and I also talked a little last night about how we both are very satisfied with our meals for BF and lunch but ALWAYS seem to take seconds at dinner and this is something we both need to work on.  Maybe with these small changes and another 30 days I'll see some changes.

 

Thanks again the feedback and support.  I appreciate it!

[pjena]

Keep that list handy for when you get frustrated. 

 

And know the time and mental energy get WAY easier.

 

It's ok to tweak your meals and see what works, but be careful eating less food.  When I try to do that, I end up starving before my next meal and much more likely to binge on something compliant but still...

 

Keep working at it!

[Beets]

Fie to those skinny jeans. If you are anything like me, those skinny jeans maybe never fit even when you bought them? Maybe you aren't like me. But don't let a pair of pants tyrannize you! I know the feeling--you're feeling great, feeling a little svelte, you put on the pants, they don't fit, you feel completely useless and demoralized. 

 

Get another pair of pants that look awesome on you. I'm giving myself this advice as I write. I have a pair of jeans that I could just about fit into when I was in a relatively thin moment. Every time I'm feeling great I pull on those pants and let them totally ruin my good feelings. 

 

I think everyone sees results in different areas. We always focus on the thing we'd like to change most about ourselves. I remember Nadia B saying how she always looks at people's hair. I always look at people's legs bc the skin on mine really bums me out (psoriasis, veins). Anyhoo. I know some people see results first in mood, others in weight, but like Carla said above she is feeling better than she has in years, scale/skinny jeans be damned. Last year I lost weight but my psoriasis didn't improve as much as I liked and I let that drive me into a wheat-eating pit. Don't let that happen to you! 

 

Everyone's different but for me the weight comes off when I pile on the fat. Instead of eating less, maybe try adding more healthy fats? I know everyone's different. That's just my experience. Last thought, if you were binge eating, maybe there is some underlying stress that's making you hang onto the fat? Someone once asked me if I was a stress eater, and I said, no, I'm a stress holder. 

 

And yeah, focus on the heaps better parts for a bit. Give yourself some time to feel good about what you have accomplish. 

[Beets]

Maybe this isn't representative but I just glanced at your log and I see "drumsticks no skin." Why no skin? Fat fat fat. Seriously. It's anti-intuitive but it works (for me, at least). It also seems like maybe you are still in that calorie counting mode? I know it's hard to break from it. It feels scary and like you're jumping off a cliff. But you don't have to note the exact quantity of your foods. Follow the template (palm, thumb, etc.) and eat to satiety v how much you think you should be eating based on calories.

 

I have no idea how many calories I've consumed this week but I've eaten a jar and a half of homemade mayo in three days and my pants are bagging off.  It's not about calories. This is so hard to let go of, I really completely understand. I counted cals and points and weighed my food on and off for years. And perhaps you'd see more of those aesthetic results you're after if you toy with the composition of your meals--that may be true--but don't look for a simple caloric answer. 

[Robin Strathdee]

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling disappointed, but happy to hear about your heaps of good! I think you have a really healthy attitude toward this situation, and that's refreshing! You mentioned that you have a history of binge eating. Often, that comes with significant restriction to offset the bingeing - is that the case for you?  If so, your body may be adjusting to the new, consistent supply of energy at regular intervals.  I agree with the idea that you may just need some more time and commend you for being willing to tackle that in pursuit of your health.

[littleg]

Re: Fat.  Yes, I'm scared.  I don't "restrict" fat per se but I certainly haven't jumped on the "pile it on bandwagon" either.  I eat the drumsticks cold and cold chicken skin doesn't do it for me.  I'd rather take that off and eat a half an avocado.  I just have such a hard time losing weight that I'm afraid to gain weight eating the fat because then I'll never get it off... 

 

Re: Binge eating.  Yes, I did restrict.  Frequently for 24 hours after a binge.  That is part of the reason I've decided to go another 30 days.  Just like the book says - you can't always fix 20 years of bad eating in 30 days.  These 30 days have certainly not been a hardship.  Its the best I've felt around food, well, in 20 years.  So going for 30 more days is certainly not a problem.  

 

Thanks again for the encouragement everyone!

[almondjoyless]

Congratulations on all the improvements.  As far as aesthetics, allow me to be radically feminist for a moment.  You are doing crossfit, eating extremely healthfully, and your weight hasn't changed.  To me, this says that the weight you're currently rocking is your natural, healthy weight.  This is how your body looks when you treat it well.  According to all the research I've read (a fair bit; I'm a scientist in my day job), trying to force it to look different or weigh less will only have a short-term effect, or no effect at all.

 

Given all that, can you find a way to make peace with your appearance?  To feel beautiful in the body you're in, as it is right now?  To reject society's notion of a "perfect figure" and instead focus entirely on the amazing mental and emotional progress you've made?

 

Few people (and especially few women) are truly satisfied with their appearance, whether they're a size 2 or size 22.  If you're like most women (and most of us are), you will never look exactly the way you want.  Never.  So instead of continuing to play tug-of-war with your weight and shape, why not put down the rope?

 

Do what you can to feel beautiful right now.  That might mean buying some new clothes, checking out some makeup tutorials, or getting some exercise.  Whatever you do, embrace the positive changes you've made (and maybe throw away the old skinny jeans).

[misshannah]

Beets took the words right out of my...fingers. You've got to do you, and you know yourself better than some virtual (ha) stranger, so take this for what it's worth.

 

I think you may be either consciously or unconsciously restricting your fats. You mentioned in your post that you haven't been overdoing avocado, among other things. Are you avoiding avocado because you're calculating the calories/fat grams? 

 

btw, I agree about cold chicken skin, and what I do with mine is put it between some paper towels and nuke it til it's crispy and eat it with my meal. If you're not down with the microwave, you can also crisp it up stovetop.

[littleg]

I haven't calculated anything preemptively (?) this whole time.  A few times I went back and figured stuff out because I was afraid I was eating too much.  My usual fat for the day is:

 

1/4 c coconut milk (full fat - Aroy D) for breakfast each day plus the fat in the ground turkey (locally raised - no idea on the fat content) and the coating of lard I put in the pan (not much - just enough to coat a 5" cast iron skillet)

 

lunch and dinner get 1/2 avocado each usually (normal sized avocados, from the TJ packs of 4 which are smaller than the ones they sell as singles) plus fat in the pan plus fat in the meat we are eating

 

Does that seem restricting?  I've read ISWF twice now and I *feel* like I'm following their suggestions... am I reading their suggestions through fat-restriction-tinted glasses?  

[misshannah]

Hmmm, that seems pretty reasonable to me.

 

So, for what it's worth, I am not a mod, am a fat lady, and am only speaking for myself, but I eat a lot more fat. I add seeds and/or olives to my salads, plus olive oil to dress it, plus avo if I feel like it. As I mentioned, I eat chicken skin. It's one of my favorite things. If I feel like my meals aren't carrying me or I'm not getting the results I want, I add approved fats. I don't usually, or really ever, measure them out.

 

But that's my deal, I'm trying to reprogram my misguided beliefs about calories. So, I eat. Real nutrient dense food. And I feel better, energetic, the fog lifts, I feel like moving a LOT more than I used to, I stay hydrated and uncongested, and if my body stubbornly refuses to change, but my labs and fitness and overall health and wellbeing are good, then I'm going to say this works for me. It sucks, to me, being 45 and realizing I may never be thin. But now I'm most concerned with making the most of the second half of my life. 

 

You sound like you're in great shape! If I were you, I'd do an experiment and add more fat and just see how my body responds.

[littleg]

Ok.  We just made avocado oil mayo.  I'll see what happens

[coco12]

LittleG, I have to say- your example, your optimism, your courage to keep going are BEAUTIFUL. Your determination is weighing in at a perfect 10. Think of the hundreds of young women who could be inspired by your story. I'm inspired by you! Keep going, knowing that the choices that you make are what make you drop-dead gorgeous, not the number on that silly scale.

 

Scales don't measure awesome.

[littleg]

Sniff sniff.  Thanks  

[Izzy00]

Littleg, its like you took my thoughts and put them on the page.... i am 141 pounds and 5'4 so roughly like you. this is my second whole30 im on day 25 and while I have had many benefits, no bloating, better energy, train better etc I am not seeing physical changes. And im not referring to scale, i have the same amount of fat that i had when i first started. My first whole30 I saw changes within a week, i dropped centimeters from my stomach and waist. 

I really admire how positive you have been. I have been down in the dumps about my progress and on top of that I feel totally obsessed with what I eat now. not very healthy in the long run. 
 

Anyways, I just wanted you to know that there are others in the same boat and I find this forum really useful and encouraging.

[littleg]

I think that the one thing that keeps me going the most with this is that I feel better about myself when I eat this way.  No matter what I do I can never truly control that number on the scale.  However, I can control what goes in my mouth each day.  When I make good food choices I feel better about myself.  When I feel better about myself I see less of the body dysmorphia in the mirror.  When I like what I see in the mirror I'm an all around better person (maybe I should get rid of the mirrors in the house!).  So I keep doing this because I like the "better" me more than the cranky, disappointed, embarrassed me.  I also suspect that the hormonal milieu that is created by the happier me is probably more healthy than the alternative.  

 

@Izzy - sorry to hear that this is making your food thoughts even crazier - that is too bad.  Maybe you can change your thinking a little bit to be more about supporting training gains and less about weight for a while.  Have you seen this before?  Don't read it for "diet tips" but rather for the change in her thinking about food as fuel for athletic gains - maybe it will help  

[Izzy00]

thanks heaps for sharing. thats incredible how much she can lift. I am trying to focus on training and accepting my body as it is. to be honest, when you look at me I am the perfect hour glass figure which isnt a bad thing. I just need to stop looking at women i consider skinny and ideal body shape and want to be them.  Changing your mind frame and attitude is often harder than changing physically. 

[Bet]

RE Fat, part of W30 is retraining your body to depend on fat for energy vs sugar. You've eliminated a lot of the sugar, so you have to up the fat. I don't track my fat intake. I could probably estimate that it's close to 40 or 50% of my diet calorie wise (that includes the fat in foods like salmon and beef). I've found adding more fat makes me feel better and yes, I think I have lost some weight. I have no proof since the battery in my scale wore out months ago and I haven't replaced it! As long as it's good fat, you don't need to worry.

 

Trying to lose that final 10 lbs is hard and will take time. I would go for 60 days and then even after.

[Beets]

I am on my phone and can't quote but I like what you said, littleg, about liking the "me" you are much better w/ the way you're eating now. I feel the same.

I believe some of the disappointment that comes to some of us at the end of a w30 is a case of *wherever you go there you are*. It's like, ok I did this great big thing and I feel mostly great but yet here I am, still me. So maybe it's weight or fitness or skin (for me). But, underneath is the disturbing notion that we still have to deal with whatever we were dealing with before, no magic bullet.

I'm not exactly sure what's radically feminist about saying many women aren't happy with our weight not matter the number but i think maybe rather than disputing your real disappointment in that department, focus on what you love about how you feel now and go from there. My two cents.

And I agree about your great attitude. You'll get where you want to be.

[Beets]

Which is to say, I always bristle at even the most kind-hearted suggestion that someone shouldn't feel bad about whatever they feel bad about. Because if you do, that makes you? Silly? Shallow? What?

I think more of a meditative, "I'm feeling bad about this, I'm watching this feeling bad float away in my brain," kind of sentiment can be more helpful.

I will agree 100% that we, as women, are taught from day 1 that we are never _____ *enough*. And it gets reinforced many times a day. No argument. But, anyway, some of us know that at an intellectual level and yet still feel bad about those skinny jeans.

Signed,

About to turn 40 and extra introspective/mid-life crisis-y

[hockeymom]

Scales don't measure awesome.

THIS! Keep at it girl, my guess is your body is filled with gratitude that you're feeding it right.