Guest Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Rather than spreading all my posts around different boards, I thought I'd start a little log here. As some of you may know, I have an eating disorder, which means bingeing is a real problem for me. I have decided to start a 2nd whole30, but not to destroy myself if I binge/snack in between, but to use this time to reflect on what caused the behaviour. So it's a 'sort of' whole30, where off-plan snacking is not the end of the world (so I don't tighten the 'control' aspect of my ED). So... Day 1 Breakfast 2 'palms' of beef mince, a small sweet potato, broccoli, carrots and leeks with a quarter of an avocado Lunch 2 chicken breasts with spinach leaves, quarter of an avocado, broccoli carrots and leeks had an insane sugar withdrawal headache a couple of hours later (was out in the sun a lot, and was also probably dehydrated) I went and got a little pack of grapes and apples, a banana and a pack of hazelnuts. had to take an ibuprofen (no paracetamol in my bag) Dinner piece of cod, with cucumber, spinach leaves, sweet potato fries and 1/4 avocado dessert monster kicked in, I had blueberries and bananas with cocoa powder for afters I think this is an ingrained behaviour I have, as my family has always been big on sweet treats after main meals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Day 2 Breakfast 2 'palms' of beef mince, 2 cups of veggies (broccoli, carrots, leeks), 1/2 avo sweet monster kicks in already, had banana with cocoa powder Lunch 2 chicken breasts, 2 cups of veggies (broccoli, carrots, leeks), 1/2 avo Sweet monster kicking in again, temptation to go and buy some chocolate is intense. I really need to go shopping for some more veggies, coconut oil (having to cook in refined olive oil atm, not ideal), and some more avocados. Off to the doctors at half 2 about this chronic fatigue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 29, 2014 Share Posted April 29, 2014 Also, I am SO bloated after eating. Like, I genuinely look pregnant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Came home from work, ate two apples (sugar monsterrr) and banana with cocoa. realised it is an ingrained behaviour of mine to come home and eat straight away, regardless of hunger. Dinner I had turkey mince cooked in 'egg custard' (3x eggs mixed with water). Had run out of veggies and too ill to get to the shop (glandular fever) sent my dear mother to go and get some sweet potatos and avocados! Fell off the bandwagon for dessert - my mum made me SWYPO pancakes (banana, coconut flour and egg) and she also made me strawberry jelly mixed with coconut milk I think this is because I'm ill - food is a comfort. Sigh. Today I had breakfast: 2 palms of beef mince, 1/2 avo, 2 small sweet potatoes. Tempted to go and get a soya latte to try and stay awake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 also - doctors put me on antibiotics 4x a day for a week, stomach feels like its in bits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 had my breakfast at 7am, it's 11am and I'm absolutely starving...hmmm... could it be the antibiotics? Thought i had a good balance of food this morning... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 had a green tea with mint to help settle my stomach instead of a soya latte....still exhausted... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 fallen off the bandwagon... had to have an early lunch for my antibiotics - can of tuna, 1/2 avo, sweet potato then had a soy latte, banana, and just bought a little bag of sweets perhaps caffeine makes me more reckless too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 currently snacking on some walnuts...stop it jess stop it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJB Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I'm sure the illness isn't helping. When I eat off-plan, it usually takes 2-3 weeks of W30 eating before I feel back in control. Sometimes it's very hard to accomplish that with the cravings hitting every day. Just take it one day at a time I guess. I hope you're not beating yourself up too much, considering you are not feeling well to boot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Attackkitten Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Don't beat yourself up over it. Maybe give it another shot after the antibiotics. As a fellow binger, I know how nasty you can be to yourself. Sending you a hug and hopes for a quick recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 thankyou for the lovely support I had a sugar and caffeine crash HARD around 2pm. I am now eating the rest of the walnuts to help me come back up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 and just had an apple. Still feel rubbish, blah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noelle Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Dealing with sugar/caffeine withdrawals AND illness AND focusing on ED recovery is a lot. I'm sorry you're going through this! I'm currently Whole30-ing after an ED relapse and it's so worth it. I'm about two weeks in, and the urge to binge is MUCH less. It is possible and you CAN do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 started reading the book when food is love...WOW. Eureka moment, I am addicted to caffeine and sugar as the high they give me makes me feel 'alive' compared to the numbness I feel day-to-day from my depression if my day/life didn't constantly revolve around thinking about food, it would be 'boring' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Food offers unconditional love, cannot leave me, answer back or hurt me, this makes sense as I was bullied badly when I was younger which started off my mental health problems Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJB Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 It's always an interesting feeling to read a book like that and understand something new about yourself! I don't really understand WHY putting food in my stomach when I'm not hungry offers some sort of comfort, but that is the reality. Maybe I'm like you...if I wasn't obsessing over food, I would have to deal with how boring my life is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 Day one is going well all meals have been whole 30 compliant, there's only been one 'snack' which was an apple. Antibiotics are making me so hungry. Need to have a mini meal before I go to bed as I have one more dose to take today. My social anxiety has been better today too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Argh so headachey and hungry, stupid tablets!! Had a mini meal for my tablets last night - haddock salad. Breakfast this morning was beef mince w/ 2 sweet potatoes and 2 fried eggs hungry at work already currently drinking green tea with lemon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 thinking I may make a batch of vegetable soup at the weekend perfect for poaching some eggs with for lunch, yum yum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 had a soya latte, was aching SO much and unable to function at work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 chicken with salad for lunch, with hazelnuts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Only fell off the bandwagon once yesterday for my soy latte at work. Genuinely needed to get through the day due to this illness. Black coffee gives me bad anxiety Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 4, 2014 Share Posted May 4, 2014 tiny little victory, managing to curb one of my 'food without brakes' - almond butter. haven't eaten the whole jar in one go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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