Limiting anxiety in the next 2 weeks (Whole 15)

[Carlaccini]

There - I'm commited now! (This is a note to self) I've been putting off a whole 30 because of events, and stress and such but I'm having issues with anxiety, and stress and I realized this morning that I need to bring this waaa-aaay down and take care of myself.

 

Why a whole 15?  My dad is flying in to visit and his 70th birthday lands on June 15th.  So I am giving myself some permission to offroad a wee bit during his party (June 14th)

 

I need to do this because:

 

-  I've been giving into the sweet sugar dragon too much of late.  Too much stress and anxiety is giving me excuses to indulge.  I have to realiaze that the answer is not at the bottom of a wonderful italian pastry from the coffee shop near my office

-  I've damaged ligaments in my knee because I tried to do too much, too soon during my bootcamp classes.  Just because I can do, doesn't mean I actually SHOULD do.  I'm busy resting & rehabing so I need to treat my body a bit better.

-  My mom is sick, and doctors can't find out what's wrong with her.  On cortisol shots for her RA, Low white blood count, constant cramping in her abdomen, lost 15 lbs in 3 weeks.  She looks pale and fragile (so not my mother) so I'm worried (understatement......).  And yes I have been trying to convince her to do a whole 30 but sadly she's stubbronly holding onto her brown rice and whole wheat bread.  Even though I think this is the top things she needs to eliminate right now.

-  I just recovered from a terrible migraine (I haven't had one like this in months!) thanks to sugar, some gluten, and some harsh anti-inflamitories for my knee that didn't help.

I need to go shopping tonight.  Spending next couple of weeks with my mom.  So days will be long and stressful.

[Physibeth]

I'm sorry you are so stressed right now. It is so hard to watch our parents struggle especially when we know we could help them. Big hugs to you and mad props for making the decision to do what is right for your body and mind right now. Looking forward to following your journey!

[Carlaccini]

Thank you Bethany.

 

So much is realizing that the sugar is contributing to the stress and not helping it. 

 

Breakfast was so not close to being compliant so I've decided not to list it....

 

Lunch:  3 chicken thighs, and roasted brussel sprouts, small fruit salad: strawberries and pineapple

Dinner: I think will be flank steak with homemade mushroom gravy, and roasted carrots. 

 

Note: Fat is light today.  Slighty unprepared because of travel.

 

Movement: not much just walking my mom's puppy.  Even that is a bit difficult with my knee.  He's a young little dog but he walks fast and so he has a tendency of pulling.

[GoJo09]

I never remember how much anxiety my diet causes me to feel until I cut out all the culprits (I'm looking at you, sugar!).

 

Everything else just seems so much easier to deal with when I'm not "treating" myself with M&Ms because I've had a stressful day, which causes me to feel stress more keenly... Oh, hi there vicious cycle!

[Kmlynne]

Good luck to you on your whole15!

Knee injuries are the pits! I sometimes feel like I am still recovering from my last surgery - almost a year ago. I dare say that I think it might heal faster with the changes you are making

It is so hard when our parents are not doing well. I hope she is feeling better soon.

[Carlaccini]

I was at the hospital with my mom this morning - she was booked in for a blood transfusion.  Walking through the parking lot it looked as if a strong wind might blow her over.  She knows it too.  She looks so pale and tired.  Hopefully Dr's are able to get to the bottom of this soon.

 

Big plans for doing cook ups this weekend.  Nom Nom's Carrot Cardomom soup is on the menu.  As well as Salmon cakes, some roasted acorn squash, we'll see what else......

 

Breakfast: 3 eggs scrambled with pesto.  Sweet potatoes + mayo - was stuffed after this meal.

1 black coffee around 10 am while sitting with my mom.

 

Lunch: Flank Steak with homemade mushroom gravy, and brussel sprouts, some grapes

 

Dinner: Roasted Chicken with Pesto/Mayo dip, and Roasted beets (looking forward to this tonight!)

 

I almost feel relieved in doing a whole 15. 

Yikes!  I just remembered that I am going over to a friends place tonight - I hardly ever drink but I always have a drink at their place.  Oh well - it's just going to have to be water tonight then. 

[Carlaccini]

Friday night was good - avoiding the beer was no big deal.  I wasn't in the mood for it anyways.

 

Saturday meals:

 

B - Flank Steak with mushroom gravy and brussel sprouts

L - Chicken with Sweet potato + mayonaise, grapes

snack - 2 proscuito wrapped figs

D - ground bison with shredded sweet potato, and greens w/mayo

 

Sunday meals

 

B - ground bison with shredded sweet potato, and greens w/ mayo, couple of pieces of pinapple

L - Roasted Chicken, roasted beets, pesto mayo

Snack - 1 proscuito wrapped fig

D - Salmon cake (haven't had these before, they were awesome!) greens salad with homemade ranch dressing, grapes

 

Today's

B - Ground bison with shredded sweet potato, and greens w/ mayo

L - Roasted Chicken, roasted beets, Kimchi, pesto mayo, apple

D - Salmon cakes, small salad, ranch dressing + (carrot cardamom soup - this is a maybe).

 

Movement this weekend was just getting out and walking my mom's sweet doggie.  My knee is feeling pretty good this morning hasn't felt this good in 8 weeks +.  It's still tender and it is less numb, so it might be healing?  I am wondering now if getting an MRI on it will be a waste of money (appointment is in 2 weeks)

 

Mom is looking a little better after the transfusion, but she still has little to no energy, and still some cramping, pains in her kidney/liver area.

 

I had a nice talks with my mom this weekend.  She can't get her mind around the protein + veg for breakfast. (I totally get this) She doesn't want to eat anything "green" in the morning, this includes "green" smoothies (which if we are talking whole 30 are not technically compliant unless accompanying protein and fat) 

 

She thought of maybe juicing - which I kind of advised against mainly because of the sugar crashes she is already getting early on because of her major comsumption of fruit.  Her diet mainly consists of grains and fruit right now with the occasional nod at a protein (1 egg for the day) and veg.  But at this point I would consider it a win if I got her to eat some veg in the morning instead. We will worry about the protein later.

 

My mom did ask an important question though - this means that she is taking some of the things I am doing seriously enough.  Her question was about how quickly do people typically start feeling better.  I told her the truth - typically 2 weeks, but if you have severe healing in your gut to be done, then it could take much longer.

 

Part of my project is wanting to see my mom do better.  However, I can't make her doing anything.  For her to have the same meal as I am for 2 meals, is a great win.

[GoJo09]

I had a nice talks with my mom this weekend.  She can't get her mind around the protein + veg for breakfast. (I totally get this) She doesn't want to eat anything "green" in the morning, this includes "green" smoothies (which if we are talking whole 30 are not technically compliant unless accompanying protein and fat) 

 

She thought of maybe juicing - which I kind of advised against mainly because of the sugar crashes she is already getting early on because of her major comsumption of fruit.  Her diet mainly consists of grains and fruit right now with the occasional nod at a protein (1 egg for the day) and veg.  But at this point I would consider it a win if I got her to eat some veg in the morning instead. We will worry about the protein later.

 

How would she feel about something that is traditionally a breakfast food anyway, like an omelette filled with mushrooms, or poached eggs on sauted baby spinach? Or even just poached eggs and roasted sweet potato?

 

I don't think many people jump right in to having a Scotch egg, pate, mayo and steamed broccoli, zucchini and capsicum like I had this morning!

[Carlaccini]

I hear you GoJo. 

 

Unfortunately she can't do eggs - she has rhematoid arthrytis and she already has noticed that they bother her.  So I'm afraid the eggs are out.  That leaves various meats, seafood, and chicken - all of which she insists she will not eat for breakfast - despite my reminders that it's for her health.

[GoJo09]

Ah, damn. Hmm, eggs are really the gateway breakfast protein... What about a soup with protein blended in? What's her issue with the protein for breakfast? Just doesn't want to give up her cereal/toast, or an actual aversion to it?

[Carlaccini]

Well I think it's a combo of both.  Eggs would have been perfect as she actually likes eggs quite a bit.  But they don't like her too much. 

 

She only thinks of breakfast as cereal/milk, or toast, or muffins.  She commented that she could never have brussel sprouts and flank steak for brekkie - completely turned her off. The meat turned her off, and the greens turned her off.  I told her it wasn't my ideal breakfast but I was feeling lazy that morning and I didn't especially feel like making anything so my choice was to eat what was available.  And that meal was what was available at the time.

 

The frustrating thing is that she is trying to avoid beef as she is convinced it's bad for her.  I think I'm slowly getting her attention with all the articles/studies I am pulling out of my hat.  Meanwhile she is anniemic, has low iron, B12 and B6. Beef would be the best thing for her right now. Hmmm Maybe I'll make some of Nom nom's Korean short ribs for her. (She likes them, and I lo-ove them)  And I also got her to agree to eat some liver pate (store bought - so not ideal, but better).  So maybe I'll have some win's yet.

[Kmlynne]

How about a warm cup of bone broth in the morning?  and or a sweet potato?  My kids refused to touch veg for breakfast until I made sweet potato hash.  Then I slowly added veggies to it (mushrooms, onion, pepper, spinach).  Also, anything that comes in patty form.  Will she try sausage? (make your own from ground pork/beef mixture)  

 

Isn't it just the hardest thing to do to change someones mindset?  even our own?

[Carlaccini]

Basically I think I'm giving up on breakfast for now.  Even her Dr gave her a paper encouraging her to try an elimination diet for 7 days.  Her excuse is that she doesn't know what to eat.  I advised her to maybe follow something like what I do.  That was met with - that's fine for lunch and dinner - but what do I eat for breakfast?  Sigh. 

 

I'm toying with the idea of paleofying some foods for her(I'm not crazy about it, but anything for her to stop leaning on large round biscuts that she calls rusks as her stop gap.)

 

Also another problem is that her stomach gets upset from anytime she eats protein/fat.  I mentioned to her that it was a posibility that she has low stomach acid.  And that she might need a Hcl supplement.  She sounds okay with the supplement idea, unfortunately she needs to pass everything by her Dr/and Pharmacist.  And because of that I don't think she will ask.

[Carlaccini]

B - Salmon cakes, roasted acorn squash (I had been craving this for the past few days), mayo, black coffee

L - 3 chicken thighs, carrot cardom soup, kimchi, apple

D - steak (want to maybe do the mocha steak rub from ISWF, we'll see) roasted beets, black olives, grapes

 

Last night I hit the kill all thing phase.  I was angry, hurt, and frustrated.  But mostly I was feeling very much overwelmed by being pulled in so many different directions in the last few days.  I felt like diving head first into some chocolate coconut ice cream, then later the craving turned to potato chips.  I landed calling up a friend and we landed up making plans for a ladies night tomorrow night including a mani/pedi.

 

I slept well last night so this morning I am more calm and thinking clearly.

 

My mom commented on the fishy smell this morning.  Basically surprised that I was having fish for breakfast (I guess to her I'm just not normal - haha) I commented that I forgot to buy eggs yesterday so I had to make due with what was ready to go.  Oh well she'll get used to my oddities yet

[Physibeth]

Glad you are feeling better today and you weathered those cravings yesterday. Mani/pedi sounds lovely!

[GoJo09]

My mom commented on the fishy smell this morning.  Basically surprised that I was having fish for breakfast (I guess to her I'm just not normal - haha) I commented that I forgot to buy eggs yesterday so I had to make due with what was ready to go.  Oh well she'll get used to my oddities yet

 

My flatmate might be a pain in the butt, but she often eats non-traditional breakfast foods as well - this week has been sardines on rice cakes with a bowl of pumpkin soup, which makes my Scotch egg, steamed vege and pate seem fairly normal!

[Carlaccini]

My flatmate might be a pain in the butt, but she often eats non-traditional breakfast foods as well - this week has been sardines on rice cakes with a bowl of pumpkin soup, which makes my Scotch egg, steamed vege and pate seem fairly normal!

 

Actually the salmon cakes went down quite nicely for breakfast - I think I might have to do them again!

[Carlaccini]

Tired today - sleep hasn't been that great for a couple of days, and the fact that I get woken up every morning at 5 am by my mom's sweet puppy (he jumps on the bed every morning to lick my face/hands and get cuddles) which I don't always appreciate so early on.  At least there are no real food cravings mixed up in this right now.

 

Positives - my skin is glowing again - yay! I had a rosacea flare up just prior to me starting this whole 15 so the fact that it is cleared up again is marvellous.

 

Negatives: Mood is not fabulous and knee is bothering me today.

 

Food:

B - ground bison, kale, onions, 2 egg scramble with mayo

L - salad, with roasted beets, chicken thighs, ranch dressing, apple

D - steak with roasted acorn squash, grapes

[Contessa]

I am reading your food log and appreciating all your good choices this week!

 

Funny, I can really relate to the stress of having a parent who's ill. My dad was diagnosed with cancer last month and the family stress of the situation threw a big old curve ball into my diet for a little while. (Happily, he's being treated now and is doing much better. And his daughter is getting off the coping-eating wagon by doing a Whole 21.)

 

Sending good thoughts to you and your mom.

[Carlaccini]

Thank you Contessa - I hope your dad continues to do well!!!

 

Best of luck on your whole 21!

[Carlaccini]

In a much better mood today.  I will be seeing my dad and his wife today (Flying in from Belgium).  Although he is a bit of a stress inducing individual, I am happy to see them and be spending some time with them.  It is also my nephew's b-day today.  He is turning 9!  Gosh time passes fast!

 

Mani/pedi was a good idea last night.  Got to decompress.  And although my mani refused to dry and was ruined within an hour (still wasn't dry) it was time well spent.  (anybody else have this that the nailpolish refuses to dry? I find it funny.  It's not the first time that it happens) 

 

Mom seems to be doing a little better.  Dr finally convinced her to take an iron supplement.  Well at least she is listening to somebody now.  She has some more colour and is reportedly sleeping better.  So that's good.  I just would like to see her eat better - but I've come to realize that I have to let that go for now otherwise I'm going to drive myself crazy.

 

Food today

B - ground beef,  onions, kale, 2 eggs.  Sad face because I ran out of mayo.  I hope I don't get hungry early.

L - Not too sure yet - going out to lunch.  Probably it's going to be some sort of protein with a salad.  Brought ranch dressing.

D - same as breakfast (cooked a double batch as I am going straight from work to my brother's and didn't want to pick up anything along the way <saving time at it's a bit of a hike from my work to my brother's house>)

[LadyM]

I'm so happy to see you're taking care of yourself regardless of your mom's choices. I've learned from experience that it's most challenging and most important to treat oneself with the utmost care while being a caregiver.

 

FWIW, I think fish is a perfectly normal breakfast. Kippers for brekkie is cool in Britain, and lox on bagels is great everywhere these days. That's just a step away from a salmon cake, if you ask me. If only everyone could understand that they've learned their preferences and beliefs about normality and therefore can learn to believe and normalize something else. But that's a tall order for some.

[Carlaccini]

Busy weekend! And I think I ate some uncompliant stuff (non-intentionally) because some of my food was not in my control - even though I made efforts for it to be.  My rosascea flared up big time yesterday, and that only happens when seed oils/gluten comes to play.  Anyway I'm just continuing on as planned and I will probably do a proper whole 30 mid July (More birthday celebrations coming up) 

 

I have to say I'm impressed with my brother - he is making a little more efforts to feed his family healthfully.  He still buying some convenience foods, but is starting to avoid things that are super over processed. I am still educating him on the importance of ingredients lists though.  We were planning my dad's party gathering for this Saturday coming - I suggested some of the go to frozen h'or d'eurves that we used to buy and his comment was - no I want to avoid that crap.  Good.  I'm only happy to do that. I was only suggesting it because it was easier for him and it had been a staple in the past.

 

Food today:

B - ground beef, green beans, 1 egg, tossed with mayo,almond butter, balasamic vinegar, rice vinegar dressing.  Super vinegary good!

L - 3 chicken thighs, brussel sprouts, mayo, apple

S - 2 figs wrapped in proscuito. olives (this is to tie me over as I make dinner)

D - Not too sure yet - I think fish and some roasted squash.

[GoJo09]

Busy weekend! And I think I ate some uncompliant stuff (non-intentionally) because some of my food was not in my control - even though I made efforts for it to be.  My rosascea flared up big time yesterday, and that only happens when seed oils/gluten comes to play. 

 

Super interested to hear this - I've been trying to pinpoint what makes my rosacea play up. I know that the pho I had a week ago affects it, an highly probable there are seed oils in the broth.

 

Great to hear that your bro is taking baby steps towards Paleo-fying his family too - one thing at a time!

[Carlaccini]

My rosascea is a funny animal - I actually think it's more the seed oils that affect it more so than gluten does. 

 

Gluten just makes it rise after several exposures - nothing serious just red dots. Beer will make it flare overnight (but again it will depend on the beer - high end european beers, or craft beers usually cause less problems) Seed oils cause the worst reaction. Within hours of consumption several pimple looking bumps form.  But if I eat clean it will usually disapate in less than a week.

 

I would love for my brother to go completely paleo.  But right now I think he is just eliminating dairy if he can. And they are trying to cut out sugar, and take out all the highly processed foods.  They are still buying prepackaged foods - but they are prepackaged foods with shortened ingredients lists.  Just better overall choices I think.  I still think I got hit with seed oils/soy and sugar somewhere - weather my lunch out on last Friday or the meal my brother cooked on Saturday night.