Whole 30 --- take 100

[formercupcakejunkie]

Hi, everyone. My name is Christina. Here I am – starting over on the Whole 30 for what feels like the 100^th time!

I am not even sure where to begin. I have been going at this Whole 30 lifestyle on and off for about a year now. I started this kind of eating because I have a severe dairy allergy and I have an issue with gluten. This way of eating is absolutely perfect for someone like me. You would think that the side effects of food allergies would stop me from eating the foods I shouldn't but it doesn't at all! Oh, and I heart sugar. Sugar is evil in every way possible.

I've never really admitted the following to anyone – I'm 33 and as much as I don't want to say it, I have a very strong addiction to food. Some days are OK for me and some are not. I can say I have more good days than bad. I think I do a lot of things out of habit – very bad past habits that I keep trying to keep alive. I have had a major love affair with food since I was a small child. I have always had the mindset that I was going to starve and I would never get enough to eat. I was never in that situation but that's how my brain worked. My Grandpa used to sneak me food when I was little because my Grandma was the food police. I learned the same habits from my Mom. She used to hide what she ate and to this day, I still do the same thing. I sneak food. I hide it in my desk. I sneak to fast food places and scarf food down in secret.

I am sick of doing this unhealthy stuff. Like I said, some days are better than others. I know if I could stick with the Whole 30 for 30 days and get rid of the sugar cravings then I would be in a much better place. I start every day with the best of intentions - I want to eat Whole 30 approved foods and go to Crossfit. I don't have children and a very supportive Fiancée who will eat whatever I fix. I give in, eat junk food and then feel like crap. It's an endless cycle and I am done doing it. I've done all this before. I've lost weight, cut out the bad food. I

I know it sounds pathetic but I don't have a lot of friends. The friends I do have aren't the least bit interested in Crossfit and eating good. I have my Crossfit crew and my Fiancée tries to help me. I don't have a big support system which is OK. I've always thought that asking for help was a sign of weakness but now that I've tried the same thing over and over again expecting different results – I'm willing to give this forum a shot and I am certain this will help me succeed.

Thanks to anyone who read this. I truly appreciate it. I feel so much better admitting all this. Jeez!

[Snicci]

This forum has been a blessing for my first Whole30! I do really think that you're in the right place, doing the right thing. Although, I'm no expert (just a fellow Whole30er). Have you read ISWF? I found it really gave me the connection that I needed to understand WHY I should stay away from some things. I mean, I KNOW sugar is bad, but now I really know WHY!

[Nikol]

Christina,

Oh my.....I guess I want you to know that you are no different than a lot of us. I too have gluten issues and rather than eat healthy I just learned how to cook all of my favorite gluten treats, gluten free. I also heart sugar. I've been allergic to chocolate my whole life, but I love it so much I just eat past the allergy. My husband had to drag me away from the cruise ship's midnight chocolate buffet because my throat started swelling---and he still had to drag me! As a child, food (mostly icecream and treats) was always a reward in my family. So, I understand. I wanted to share a bit of my confessions with you to show you that deep down we all have hurdles.

This is my first whole 30, but I have literally tried every single diet, fad and way of eating out there. I could write a book about all the things that don't work. I think perhaps you should focus less on the long term and more on the short term victories. Make a plan. For every 7 days you make it--treat yourself to a massage or manicure or whatever you like. Sometimes I defeat myself more by thinking about how long I have to go than just taking baby steps to get there. There are a whole bunch of us here, albeit in cyberspace, cheering you on.

I kind of had it easy starting this because I had become so sick and in pain that I wasn't able to eat anything. At my last doctor's visit I was told that I could never eat raw veggies or gluten again. That I would have a lifelong problem with abdominal pain (debilitating at times) and have to take meds for the rest of my life. My work forced me into an FMLA status so they could start ticking down on the "covered leave hours". You don't want to get there, but I can tell you that after the first 4 days of "carb flu" a miraculous thing happened and I am feeling great. I'm eating veggies......RAW! I miss all the treats too (not craving just psychological) and I literally have a count down of days left on my calendar. BUT, that is my baby step. If I still feel great after thirty days, I'll challenge myself to another week or two. Knowing of course that I can stop whenever I want. And if I do fall off the horse, I plan to get back on the next day because I don't want to fall off for so long that I go through carb flu again.

You can do it! It's a journey not a destination.

Best of luck,

Nikol

[gatork]

I have problems with sugar, and chocolate, and the hiding food issue too. (I used to have candy bars stashed in random cupboards, and I'd eat them but only when no one else was home.) Plus, I love to bake...so I'd bake, taste test, taste test some more, and more, etc.

I second the suggestion to read It Starts With Food. There was an amazing post on here (I think it was on here?) about what happens to your body when you eat carbs (like cake for an office bday). I can't find it..but will post once I do.

[gatork]

Found what I was looking for, from Mark's Daily Apple - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/what-happens-to-your-body-when-you-carb-binge/#axzz22tbMm1Ew

[Renee Kosowan]

I am right here with you! I would lie about what I was eating for lunch saying I had a salad when really I snuck off to McDonalds for a big mac. I have a gluten intolerance and possibly a dairy intolerance too. I never thought I had a problem with sugar until this past month when I started going to Tim Hortons (I'm in Canada) every day around 3pm for a cookie.

I really like Nikol's suggestion to celebrate each 7 days with a reward. I am going to book a pedicure now I am half way through day 6 right now.

Wishing you the best of luck!!

[LizzyF]

Hi Christina! I am so grateful to read your honest post, and the honest posts of the others who responded. I too have HUGE issues with sugar. I didn't always have them. I used to have severe issues with alcohol! Then when I finally got off that merry go round, in came the sugar. Then somebody told me that as far as my body is concerned, "alcohol is the jet fuel of all sugars!" So we can definitely talk about lying, hiding, etc. etc. Been there done that with liquid and solid sugar! (and no, I do not and did not ever live under a bridge and pee on myself!)

I think there is a lot of merit to a "one day at a time" philosophy. I would love to join you in just focusing on TODAY to be compliant with the Whole 30 guidelines. Maybe together we can do it just for today. And then when we wake up tomorrow we can do it again.

I know getting sugar out of my picture and LEAVING it out is going to be key to my success. For for today? I will chew my arm off before I eat off plan. How 'bout it?

[formercupcakejunkie]

@Snicci - Yes! I am reading the book and it's definitely worth every penny! Thanks for the advice!

@Nikol - Thanks for the kind words. A chocolate allergy? Ick! I wish it didn't make you want things that much more! I have a plan and I have all my meals mapped out, I got a notebook to carry with me to take notes and keep track of what I am eating besides using the forum. I do like the treat ideas! I can definitely think of something nice to do for myself every week that isn't FOOD related!

@gatork - Thank you for the article! I have my hiding spaces too and that's definitely going to stop right now!

@Renee - Oh yes, I know all about the lying! I always said I was eating a salad! Best of luck to you and enjoy the pedicure!

@Lizzy - Congrats to you! I think I have such an issue with sugar because I don't want to eat it at all (besides fruit) so my brain wants it even more! I usually tell my self, "Christina, you already know what that food tastes like and it isn't going to taste any better this time." ... this usually helps me put it into perspective! I am totally with you, one day at a time. I don't care about 30 days from now. I just care about this day and this day only! Let's do this together! Best of luck to you!

[LizzyF]

Hi again Christina! Yes I love that saying about "I already know what that tastes like!" Yep I sure do X10! I know it's only 6:45 but I am done with dinner and dishes and chores. I'm heading for the shower and then going to relax and watch some Olympics and read more of the ISWF book. Eating is over for me today. Hope you are having a good end to the day as well.

[Maeva]

Hi Christina,

Have you considered subscribing to Whole30Daily? I subscribed out of curiosity. I am on day 7, and I must say it is well worth it--supportive, informative, and very entertaining.

The Hartwig's clearly understand this process quite well. The daily emails do seem to address the issues you are likely to be dealing with either on or around the days you receive them.

Couldn't hurt right?

All the best to you!

Maeva

[WildernessWanderer]

Hi Christina,

I just wanted to jump in as yet another fellow sugar addict. I have had to face blatant truths about the way sugar affects me: depression, cravings, obsession, weight gain, etc. Even fruit, when eaten in excess, leads to craving more carbs and sugar-laden foods for me. It stinks! But I've had a "taste" of what it feels like to be free from the hold it has over me, and it's amazing! I LOVE feeling level in my energy all day, I LOVE having the motivation to do the things I really want to do, I LOVE feeling HAPPY, and I LOVE feeling and looking physically better. I'm only on Day 7 of my Whole30, but I've experimented with low carb, low sugar, gluten-free, dairy-free, blah blah blah, enough to know that my body really likes this way of eating the best. I go through hard moments and days, too. It's a mental battle to fight through the lows, believing that this is what we really want. And it is- it really is! Do I want to live my life without pastries and bread, REAL bread? No. I really don't. But again and again I've taken note of how those foods make me feel and look. And it has ceased to be worth it to me. So now I eat salads and steak and berries, and most days, it's not really that bad. And some days, it's awesome! So I just want to encourage you that you are not alone, and to stay the course. It WILL be worth it!

: )

[formercupcakejunkie]

@Maeva, Yes, I did sign up. They are great emails and definitely helpful. That's definitely my first email of the day!

@Wilderness - Thanks for the comments. You are 100% correct. I am really trying to keep in mind how good it does feel. I have seriously done this so many times. I've had carb flu more than the regular flu! I've gone days without sugar and one trip up is all it takes. I'm to the point where I don't want to do anything fun and it's all because of the crap food. So I'm not worried about doing a Whole 30, just a Whole 1 and I will keep doing it day by day and that's much easier to think about it like that. Before I know it, 30 days will have come and gone! Thanks again for the kind words!

[LizzyF]

Hi Christine! Just wanted to pop in and say hi! Hope you are having a great "Whole 1" today. Things have been going pretty smoothly here. I love the e-mails too and I'm just like you - it's the first e-mail I look at each day! Have a good one!

[Derval]

I have this stuck on my fridge

[formercupcakejunkie]

Hi Lizzy! All is OK so far. It's been a rather uneventful day so I am good with that. I hope you are having a good day too.

@Derval - love the picture. It's soooo true!

[LizzyF]

Derval - I LOVE that picture. I need to put that on my fridge too.

Christina - glad you are having a good day!