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I hate cooking, I want to go out to eat with my family, I want a glass of wine


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Hi, I am on day 19 and I am over the sweet cravings, for now. I am totally sick of packing lunch and making every meal a production! Even with meall prep on the weekend it is an exhausting thing. I never enjoyed cooking so I would cook 3 times a week, a pizza night, 2 left over nights. But there are no leftovers because we eat sooooooo much more meat. The rice and pasta was a nice fill for us...especially being on a budget. I feel like in todays society with a family it is impossible! Thats of course if you want to spend time with you family also. When I am home I am cooking or prepping. We are out almost all weekend, literally, so it is very hard to prep. I am doing it at 9 pm on Sunday night....by then I usually give up.

Going out to dinner or a bbq gives me such anxiety that I dont want to go! Camping went well but I was never eating with the rest of the group. So that was difficult. And I just want to sit in my backyard with friends and family on a Saturday night and bbq and have a glass of wine! I probably used to have 1 a week.....thats all I want.


On a whole my body is learning to live with out sugar and dairy and gluten, so that is great! My son is learning better eating habits and thats wonderful! He doesn't go fo bread or pasta in a pinch. But that brings me back to time. It is soooooo time consuming.

I have lost weight, I can feel it (I need to lose aboit 40). So that is wonderful.

I am just frustrated. Gonna try buying precut vegfies and maybe a buying club for meats. I dont want to buy meat there becaise it probably wont be grass fed but, it will be the only way to keep up a paleo lifestyle with my son and I consuming more meat and chicken and eggs. The positive is that the protein replaces the breads and pastas and sugars.

So this has been a benefit for us....I am just frustrated. Anyone else out there relate? Or am I just a brat?

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I think each of us has to find our own way and weigh the benefits against the inconveniences and costs. No one says you have to continue this way if it doesn't seem worth it to you--though I would urge you to complete the W30 and see how you feel then before calling it quits.

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After 19 days of a new lifestyle, the demands seem overwhelming to you. I get that. But don't think for one minute that these demands that seem so big now will still seem big if you keep going for the next 190 days. Your cooking skills will improve if you keep practicing. You can figure out how to get things done quickly and even figure out ways to be somewhat economical.

 

Hint, buying precut anything will not save you money. However, once you get the hang of cooking, you can make short work of peeling and cutting and getting things done. I eat Whole30-style continuously and rarely spend more than 15 minutes preparing a meal. Slow cooking a roast takes less than 10 minutes between getting it started and cleaning the cooker when finished. Washing vegetables that I bring from the farm every week takes more time than most anything else I do, but I spread that out with 5-10 minutes every 2 meals or so. 

 

My values changed as I stayed with this program. I have decided that cooking and eating real food is important and that my life should fit around me making sure I am healthy. 

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I feel the same.  I feel like I spend so much money and so much time on cooking.  There is sometimes enough leftovers for my husband to take it to work.  I can't figure out what to make my daughter for lunch.  I make an egg casserole the night before to eat.  Weekend lunches are a pain.  No one enjoys the food either.  There's no passion in the food.

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Going out to dinner or a bbq gives me such anxiety that I dont want to go! Camping went well but I was never eating with the rest of the group. So that was difficult. And I just want to sit in my backyard with friends and family on a Saturday night and bbq and have a glass of wine! I probably used to have 1 a week.....thats all I want.

Someone recently posted about huge success with camping and eating Whole30. Maybe her post will give you some helpful insights for a future trip: http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/19487-camping-whole30-style/

 

Similarly, here's a recent thread on strategies for cookouts: http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/19310-strategies-for-cookouts/

 

And then there's the Dining Out guide: http://whole9life.com/2012/11/dining-out-whole30/

 

There are ways to be successful in all three scenarios.

At the end of the day, you need to decide whether the Whole30 is worth it for you. It sounds like, while you're realizing some benefits, it's causing you a boatload of anxiety.  This article might be a helpful read: http://whole30.com/2014/01/do-you-really-want-to-quit/

 

Consider whether you can hang in there another 11 days, and then do controlled reintroductions, so you can decide how to ride your bike afterward.  Maybe, for example, a post-Whole30 world for you becomes a glass of wine a week, and no sugar, dairy or gluten?

 

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I feel the same.  I feel like I spend so much money and so much time on cooking.  There is sometimes enough leftovers for my husband to take it to work.  I can't figure out what to make my daughter for lunch.  I make an egg casserole the night before to eat.  Weekend lunches are a pain.  No one enjoys the food either.  There's no passion in the food.

I have found the exact opposite: more enjoyable food. More passion. Less suffering, more joy.

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Thanks everyone for the input.  I am going to stick it out, but I feel its for the wrong reasons.  I want to lose more weight and I dont have headaches anymore!!  I also, despite all my complaining about cooking...like the affect on my children.  While the little ones are not on whole30, they do make better food choices...although my daughter is away this weekend with a friend so I am sure she will not eat so well  But she notices that when she eats poorly her stomach hurts.  She has been eating well, no more dunkin donuts and bagel store daily, etc. 

 

I think I will take the advice of tweaking the whole30 a bit to fit my needs, emotionally.  No dairy, gluten and sugar.  I can deal with that.  That way I can have oatmeal in a crunch in the morning.  I am glad I am doing this, really I am.  I havent been headache free in years!  So I know it was poor food choices. 

 

I do think, however that building my life around eating and food prep is something I cant do with 3 children and a husband and 2 dogs.  It wont be enjoyable for me...and right now my family life is pretty damn enjoyable! 

 

Camping was successful in terms of keeping on track and the meals were good.  But I found that since I am not filling on rice or some other grain...I need more meat and veggies there for my meals took longer.  The trader joes compliant hotdogs were great...and all my kids loved them.  The best was eggs with sweet potatoe hash in the morning.  But ohhhhhh how I would of loved a bowl of oatmeal, plain old oatmeal. 

 

So, really its time managment.  I learned alot about myself, I got back on track which is all I needed really.  Prior to this about 3-4 yrs ago, we were gluten and dairy free and it worked well.  So.....thank you to the whole30 team and forum for that.

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I have found the exact opposite: more enjoyable food. More passion. Less suffering, more joy.

well, to each their own.  I enjoyed the variety of foods before.  I guess I don't love meat enough to like this style.  We always ate lots of veggies, and really not that many sweets or carbs.  I did like the idea of being able to have tacos, or a sandwich in addition to a giant hunk of meat with a side of veggies.  

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I feel the same.  I feel like I spend so much money and so much time on cooking.  There is sometimes enough leftovers for my husband to take it to work.  I can't figure out what to make my daughter for lunch.  I make an egg casserole the night before to eat.  Weekend lunches are a pain.  No one enjoys the food either.  There's no passion in the food.

Yes, I have to say.  No one really enjoys the food but me.  They hate the chicken without breadcrumbs...so at least after this I can use the gluten free bread crumbs, they like that.  My littelest one refussed veggies, so protein is not enough.  He will eat fruit more now, so thats good.  My 16 yr old son is sick of the food.  But he is sticking to it to lose a bit more belly fat and then he can just eat gluten and dairy free.  And no one ever liked red meat, so that is difficult.  Ughhhhhhhh.  However, I have seen benefits like I said in my other post...no more headaches!

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Yes, I have to say.  No one really enjoys the food but me.  They hate the chicken without breadcrumbs...so at least after this I can use the gluten free bread crumbs, they like that.  My littelest one refussed veggies, so protein is not enough.  He will eat fruit more now, so thats good.  My 16 yr old son is sick of the food.  But he is sticking to it to lose a bit more belly fat and then he can just eat gluten and dairy free.  And no one ever liked red meat, so that is difficult.  Ughhhhhhhh.  However, I have seen benefits like I said in my other post...no more headaches!

yeah my daughter seems to HATE all the starchy veg.  She has always hated sweet potato.  And thats the easiest to cook.  She doesn't like squash either.  It's kinda hard to figure that one out long term.  The meat and veg aren't as big a problem as the turnips, parsnips, squash, sweet potatoes and whatever else. no one likes those.

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Yes, I have to say.  No one really enjoys the food but me.  They hate the chicken without breadcrumbs...so at least after this I can use the gluten free bread crumbs, they like that.  My littelest one refussed veggies, so protein is not enough.  He will eat fruit more now, so thats good.  My 16 yr old son is sick of the food.  But he is sticking to it to lose a bit more belly fat and then he can just eat gluten and dairy free.  And no one ever liked red meat, so that is difficult.  Ughhhhhhhh.  However, I have seen benefits like I said in my other post...no more headaches!

Have you tried almond flour to coat your chicken? Here is a recipe for chicken wings. It also works great on chicken legs. Sprinkle salt and pepper on the chicken. If you have full chicken wings cut off the tips and save them for soup. I use compliant franks hot sauce ( the chicken wing sauce is not compliant). Pour some over the chicken and mix. If this is too spicy for your family leave it out and add extra spices to the almond flour. Put 1 cup or so of almond flour in a plastic bag. You can add spices at this point like mr Stubbs rub ( make sure it's compliant), or garlic, paprika, chili pepper. Drop each piece of chicken into the flour and coat. Place on a greased baking sheet lined with tin foil. Once all the pieces are on the sheet you can add some extra coconut oil on top for crispier chicken. Bake at 350 for 30 min. Turn each piece over and bake another 30 min. Your chicken will be moist and tender with a crisp skin. You can also roast some veggies along with the chicken for an easy dinner. Enjoy!

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I do a lot of really easy meals at home. Some meat or fish, a fried egg on top of a veggie hash I made earlier and reheated and a big salad. Most of the variation is in the veggies and the sauces/spices. I need to keep it simple during the week or I'd go crazy. But the positives outweighs the time and effort it takes to cook this way. I am healthier and I teach my kids that what we eat is worth investing both time and money in.

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Thanks everyone for the input.  I am going to stick it out, but I feel its for the wrong reasons.  I want to lose more weight and I dont have headaches anymore!!  I also, despite all my complaining about cooking...like the affect on my children.  While the little ones are not on whole30, they do make better food choices...although my daughter is away this weekend with a friend so I am sure she will not eat so well  But she notices that when she eats poorly her stomach hurts.  She has been eating well, no more dunkin donuts and bagel store daily, etc. 

 

I think these are all good reasons! 

 

However, I agree with a lot of what the others have said. You'll need to find a way to make this, if not enjoyable, then less of a pain, or else it's not sustainable for the long run. Some of tweaks suggested above are good. 

 

I wonder also if you can't get your kids to help you with food prep. That might help with the amount of time you spend in the kitchen, and also allows you to regain some of the family time you feel you've lost.

 

Good luck!

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They hate the chicken without breadcrumbs.

 

My husband absolutely REFUSED to eat his baked chicken thighs without breadcrumbs!  So I made his then I made mine.  For mine, I brined the thighs using the brine in Well Fed, brushed them with olive oil and seasoned them.  Guess which chicken he ate.....mine!  Said he'd prefer it this way going forward.  I brine all my chicken using the recipe now.  Makes it super moist.  It's awesome for chicken breasts, you can't dry them out when cooking! 

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yeah my daughter seems to HATE all the starchy veg. She has always hated sweet potato. And thats the easiest to cook. She doesn't like squash either. It's kinda hard to figure that one out long term. The meat and veg aren't as big a problem as the turnips, parsnips, squash, sweet potatoes and whatever else. no one likes those.

I don't know if this will help with your daughter at all but I make two saucepans of mash on Sunday evening, one with carrots and parsnips, the other with broccoli, spinach and some sweet potato. I make sure there both seasoned really well and then divide into sandwich bags and then I can defrost a portion when ever I need one - I've had the broccoli mash with fried eggs for breakfast and the carrot and parsnip mash with chicken for dinner before, and they only take a couple of minutes to defrost. Just an idea that might help you get some quick, starchy veggies on their plate? The broccoli and spinach mask the sweet potato taste a bit which might help as well

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Ok. Off to shop for the week. Going to try the almond flour and hot sause recipe. And hopfully get a bunch of chopping done today/tomorrow. Maybe this week will be better. Summer is coming and the kids will be out of school soon....so we wont be on a schedule at all. That will help me greatly! Maybe I can continue as compliant as possible without schedules. That woukd be great.

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Once the 30 days is up it will be important to follow the reintroductions to try to figure out what is keeping you headache free.  Once you figure that out, *that* food item should be left out - but if the other ones make appearances from time to time... whatever :)  But see if you can make them appear just from "time to time" and not everyday!  And then, try to keep out the real nasties (industrialized oils and food additives - colorings, thickeners, etc are where I try to draw the line).

 

I did a W60 and my husband a W30 (which is miraculous in and of itself...) and now I'd say hubs is living 70/30 and me 90/10.  Just not being 100% reduces the anxiety and time significantly.  And you can have that glass of wine once a week (if it isn't the headache culprit)!  Some of the rules we have relaxed that make life easier in general have been:

 

- Dairy is out at home but not always.  For example, last night when we went to our favorite brewery I had crumbled gorgonzola on my salad with a grassfed burger, 2 slices of bacon and a baked potato with 2 pats of butter - this makes eating out possible and even enjoyable.  So for me - the crappy ingredients in the blue cheese dressing were still a NO, but gorgonzola crumbles with the drippings from the burger over my salad were a YES.   

- Wine for me, beer for hubs for occasions.  A dinner at home on Tuesday is NOT an occasion :) 

- Sugar to make things palatable is ok again.  I make a delicious coleslaw with 1 tbsp of honey - for 16 oz of slaw, everyone loves it, not going to worry.  The same thing would apply to a good store bought tomato sauce or something - if it were organic with no crappy oils and has 1g of sugar per serving I'm going to buy it to save myself making sauce from scratch

- Template portions can be ignored - especially in summer time with all this delicious fruit around!  The other day for dinner I ate 3 scrambled eggs cooked in some lard and a cantaloupe.  Yep, a whole cantaloupe.  It was delicious and totally hit the spot.  

 

Those have been the 3 main things we have relaxed and it really has made a difference - especially for being more social :)  However, I can also say that on day 19 I was spending 20 hours a week planning, shopping and cooking.  Now I spend maybe 5 so if you stick it out for longer it WILL get easier and staying 90/10 80/20 won't seem so overwhelming!  And who knows - maybe one of your kids will end up finding a passion for cooking and become the next food blogger to get a cookbook published :)

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Don't despair! Like everyone else has said, cooking will go much more quickly soon. I spend summers essentially camping in a field cabin (electricity but no kitchen to speak of and no running water), and I have my meals down to about 5 minutes prep per meal. Here's how I do it so quickly:

 

-for protein, I just grill meat on my gas grill. That takes all of 1 minute prep and usually 10 minutes to cook it. I don't eat huge hunks of meat (my palm is pretty small!). A pound of meat works for 4 meals, typically. Since I'm done with Whole30 now and have relaxed a bit, I buy a lot of our local farm's brats and bacon (grass-fed and local, but they do add a little sugar, so I couldn't eat them on my Whole30. But this is the joy of having completed 30 strict days: now I can add back in time-saving things that work for my body).

 

-for veggies: frozen veggies are the great timesaver! Seriously. If you buy plain frozen veggies, they're much more nutritious than most veggies in the produce section, because they're flash frozen in the fields, which means far less loss of most nutrients. Preparing them takes just a few minutes in the microwave.

 

-other veggies I buy pre-washed at the supermarket if I can't get them from local farmers. Getting them pre-washed means just a moment of chopping, and much less nutrient loss (and cheaper) than pre-cut. 

 

-for carby veggies, if no one in your family likes turnips, swedes, etc, how about carrots, beets, onions, yams, parsnips? If no one likes those, plain old white potatoes are fine for the rest of the family now (and they might be fine for you in a week once your 30 days are done). 

 

-for sauces, I make a few very fast, compliant sauces (I am avoiding nightshades, so the simplest sauce--salsa--is out for now). Mayonnaise as a base takes all of 1 minute to make in a mason jar with an immersion blender. I add to it garlic, lime juice, and a hunk of cilantro, and it makes a delicious aioli sauce we all eat like mad. Chilis are great too in it, if you can eat them. 

-balsamic vinegar +extra virgin olive oil + spices = delicious, instant dressing/sauce

-ghee takes just a couple minutes to make in the microwave (I do it in a mason jar too) and with salt in it, it's a yummy sauce as well

 

So protein + quick veggies + sauce = meal in a few minutes for us. I hope you can find equally satisfying long-term strategies. Good luck on your last week.

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