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Starting June 20th - first time!


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I'm writing this with a glass of white wine and a bar of dark chocolate in hand. Must finish the last of the treats, right?


I've been working my way to this point for years I think.


I've struggled with hormone problems since puberty, including requiring ovarian cyst removal surgery, and daily medications for years to keep things "balanced" -- including spiraldactone, a medication that I can't be on when my husband and I begin trying to conceive. Hopefully at the end of this Whole 30.


We haven't dared to try, both because of the medication, and because I have been unable to heal completely from the car wreck we were involved in nearly one year ago. Chronic pain, inflamation, seemingly endless rounds of physical therapy, cortisone shots, muscle relaxers, narcotics when nothing else will help. I asked my chiropractor when we could start trying, and I got a 10 minute lecture about months of bed rest if we didn't wait till I was stronger.


But I can't seem to heal.


Deep down, I know that food -- though it isn't the only answer -- is such a big part of the equation that I have to give myself this break, this chance, this opportunity to have every nutritional chance to get well.


Really, truly whole.


The funny thing is, I eat "healthy". Paleo-ish, gluten free (execept when I'm not), a healthy, protein-rich salad, but with crusty bread and wine on the side. I never go through drive throughs, except when I'm rushing to set. There are too many holidays, treats, airport layovers, girls' nights... unneccesary exceptions. I make good choices, except when I don't. I'm ready to really, truly, rip the bandaid off and try this for real.


I'm scared I won't be able to do it for me, but I know who I can do it for. My kids. The ones I haven't met, who I hope to get to meet, God willing. If I can get my body ready to bring them into this world. I have to be whole, to be well, before I can get to be their Mom.


I wish I was strong enough to do it for myself. Maybe by the end of this I can keep going just for me. But right now, the hope of getting to meet them one day is what I need.


I'm tired of waiting. I've poured out the rest of the wine. Let's get going.



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