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Stoneveggies

Self sabatoge

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What is wrong with me??? I accidentally drank Gatorade at work (I work outdoors 7am-5pm on a farm so I really drank it innocently). I was so pissed when it dawned on me that I needed to start over my Whole 30. Instead of trudging along, I went ahead and ate the sweets that were offered to me earlier that I had dutifully turned down, then had greasy pizza and alcohol at dinner! Why does my brain want so badly for me to cheat or give up? I really enjoy my whole 30 approved meals, but temptations of fast food, sweets and alcohol still have a firm grip on me. After I eat crappy food I always beat myself up about it. So why does my brain still encourage me to be bad when I want to be good??

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encouragement-quotes3.jpg

 

 

Try to make vegetables the backbone of every meal....1/2 of your plate.   It's the full feeling you want, not pizza or sweets.   When you eat what your body craves...vegetables...you'll no longer be hungry for things that can never fill the void.   Vegetables will give you that full to the brim feeling without ruining your resolve.  Then you can figure out what the void inside is really all about.

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As a former psychotherapist, I can tell you that why we sabotage ourselves is an interesting question that can consume months of investigation to fully identify and explain, but knowing why is not especially useful. Plenty of people know why they do negative things and keep doing them. The important thing is to change your behavior. Make a plan to stay on task and make a plan to get right back on task if you get off track, accepting that mistakes happen. By the way, accepting that we make mistakes is not the same as incorporating planned "cheat" meals or foods.

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I would also encourage you to disconnect your personal morality from the choices you make about food. For me that was so essential in breaking this sort of "well I messed up might as well throw in the towel" behavior. 

 

When you make a choice about food it might make you more healthy and it might make you less healthy but making a less healthy choice doesn't make you bad and making a more healthy choice doesn't make you good. 

 

I realized for myself that food choices were a way I was rebelling and "being bad" and when I finally decided that wasn't the case anymore it freed me to make decisions without the emotional baggage and to occasional (post W30) choose something less healthy without throwing in the towel on an entire day/week/month.

 

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over. Empower yourself to have control over your food decisions and not the other way around.

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These are all very helpful! I am taking all these comments to heart. How kind of y'all to help me!

Yes physibeth, I do feel like I am "rebelling". So how did you decide that that wasn't the case anymore? How did you change your habit of mind?

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These are all very helpful! I am taking all these comments to heart. How kind of y'all to help me!

Yes physibeth, I do feel like I am "rebelling". So how did you decide that that wasn't the case anymore? How did you change your habit of mind?

 

First you change your habit of speech. Resist the urge to say things like "I was good today" or "I was bad today" when it comes to your food choices. While on your Whole30 instead of focusing on "can't have" focus on "choosing not to have" and reminding yourself that when your 30 days are up you can choose to have again. Within the realms of Whole30 allowed foods try not to restrict. Eat as much healthy food as you want. Also if food sneaking is a part of your habits (it was mine) find someone who you can be accountable to who will also not reinforce that you are "bad" for eating the food. I hope these ideas help. 

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I also stop my mind from beating myself up by telling myself - No - I'm NOT bad.  I made a choice to eat X.  That was my CHOICE.  I shouldn't feel bad, or guilty for it.  By making this choice I will face whatever side effects my body gives me.  If it gives me an upset stomach - so be it.  I made this choice.

 

I also find if people are around pressuring you to eat something - the language you use is especially important.  Don't use the "Can't" saying: I can't have pizza.  Why?  Because you sound like a child who's parent is forbidding you to have candy.  What happens when we forbid?  We want it more.  And we have a tendency to rebel.  Instead use the word "Don't" saying: I don't eat pizza.  Why?  Because dairy and gluten bother me.  There is no wishy washy try to convince me to eat pizza so I rebel.  The word Don't is final.

 

I turned down ice cream cake on the weekend (and trust me I loooooo-vvve ice cream) I got pressured a tiny bit.  But all I said was I don't eat ice cream.  Why?  Cause dairy bothers me.(It's true - any dairy is just so not worth it for me)  That's all.  There is no guilt.  there is no pressure.  There is finality in the word don't.  Whereas - can't.  Means someone is forbidding you.  Which also means that through some convincing you might be convinced to eat X.

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Breaking the good and bad cycle has been really tough for me too - it's just so ingrained! I haven't cheated as yet but I had my strongest temptation so far today (day 8) and I was already kicking myself just for wanting the food! It's nice to have the built in sugar demon bad guy - I totally use it as my scapegoat! I reminded myself that sugar demons are tricksy and difficult to slay, which makes me laugh a little, so it shifted the good/bad mindset and let me focus on why I'm doing this and the scrumptious food I'm eating. Following that up with an awesome dinner helped too :)

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Carlaccini - I love, love, love how you explain the difference between Can't and Don't. I also use don't (as in I don't eat X because it bothers my Y) and I am never questioned or pushed about my choices. Wording it that way also makes you the person in charge of your food choices, not the victim of somebody elses diet rules.

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The word cheat is another one I try to remove from the food vocabulary. Whole30 actually posted something on their facebook page about this the other day. It isn't a cheat it is a choice. The choice might be off plan but it is still a choice. The choice might require a restart but it is still a choice. Using the vocabulary of cheat is still ingraining the "I'm good/bad" idea.  

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Thanks to everyone for this thread! I was doing great until yesterday. I waited too long before eating a real meal, which left me super "hangry" and I was struggling so so SO badly to stay on track. I still don't know how I held on, but I did end up eating more carbs and fewer veggies than I should have. This post today is exactly what I needed, because it could have easily been me and has been numerous times in the past. I'm trying to keep my relationship with food separate from myself as a person, which is so hard! I have always equated them together. Keep up the hard work!

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I used to have the 'what's wrong with me??' thoughts when I craved sweets and junk food.  I was mad that I didn't have more will power etc etc.  After going through my whole30, I realized that I was truly a sugar addict....complete with terrible withdrawal when I did my whole30.

 

It changed my whole perspective from 'what's wrong with me?' to 'what is wrong with sugar and junk food?'

 

As in, 'it's not me, it's you.'  So to speak.  It's much easier for me to resist sugar/junk when I have cravings now because I look at it like 'look what sugar is doing _to_ me.  Look how bad sugar is!'  I'm not bad for wanting it, I'm not weak for wanting it.  It's a terrible thing that still is trying to control my eating choices.  And because IT is terrible (not me) I'm not going to continue to play it's game.

 

Yeah, it's a little confusing, but it works for me :)

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