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Nicole's 2nd W30 Starts NOW


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Did sleep a little bit better last night once I finally fell asleep (there was a giant spider in the room which I tried to kill with Raid, but the bugger just fell off the wall and disappeared so I was worried he was going to show up in my bed).


Right now, I'm procrastinating going to the gym for my run. Half procrastination/half digestion as I ate a little more than originally planned for dinner about an hour ago. Still feeling a little bit exhausted. Work is really draining me - I'm super productive and focused while I'm at the office, but I'm stressed because I just can't get everything done. Even more so as I have to take a day off on Thursday to help my father out with something, so a normal five day work week that would have been packed already is now condensed into four days. So part of the reason I'm procrastinating the work out is that I know as soon as I get back from the gym, I'll have to log on to get more work done. 


I guess I'm 10% complete with the whole 30 but I feel like I've been doing this forever now. I want candy! And cocoa! I picked up some tahini butter today. It was sort of giving in to alleviate those cravings I felt yesterday. I know, slap me on the wrist, BUT it satisfied me texture-wise without creating a total binge like sunbutter and nut butters do.


M1: sausage, mashed cauliflower w/ ghee, BP coffee

M2: chili, spinach with balsamic, apple sauce, coffee

M3: tuna, spinach with balsamic, two tablespoons tahini butter, coconut oil


Might have a coconut milk chai after my workout, if I ever get there. I do have a reward planned for tomorrow evening - getting a massage! So while I'm tempted to skip a workout tonight, I know I can't because I won't be getting to the gym tomorrow night.


This project I'm helping my father with on Thursday will pose a challenge. I'm going to have to bring my lunch, and he'll make some judgmental comments as well as try to be a food-pusher. Gotta stay strong!

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Day 11 - I could have sworn it should be like day 20 or something. In good news, I did make it to the gym last night. I did a 30 minute treadmill run at a pretty slow pace for me, but was glad to have eeked it out. Today's a rest day, thankfully - I'm just exhausted.


My massage was amazing. Much needed. It provided an hour of escape for me. I wish I could just go to sleep now, but unfortunately, I have more work to do. There's so much to get done... and it appears I'm looking forward to another weekend of playing catch up. Will I ever truly be caught up? It's so hard with nothing to really look forward to on my radar. I guess in the past, that thing to look forward to might be a snickers bar. Cheap, easy comfort.


It turns out the project I'm helping my father with tomorrow shouldn't take all day, so I have another shot at completing a full bootcamp workout tomorrow night. I also gave him a heads up about bringing my lunch, and he was actually very accepting of it. Good stuff.


Is it really only day 11? Had kind of a repeat day of yesterday with my meals:


M1: sausage, mashed cauliflower w/ ghee, BP coffee

M2: chili, spinach with balsamic, apple sauce, coffee

M3: tuna, spinach with balsamic, two tablespoons tahini butter, coconut oil

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Today was the hardest day for me so far. You wouldn't think it would be since I had less work-related stress. I had the day off to help my father with a project, but I still found myself ready to call it quits with the whole 30.


Last night, I ended up finishing my work around midnight and then noticed on my cell phone that my father had called me 4 times (I had called him earlier to find out if he needed me to bring any supplies today, and then forgot my phone was on silent - so I didn't see he called back). I think he panicked that I was bailing out on him or something... I felt guilty for missing his calls and ended up having a crazy dream where I ended up way oversleeping today, and woke up in a panic that he was going to be worried about me... and sure enough, he showed up at my door just a few moments later.


Thankfully, I woke up for real at that point and realized that it was the middle of the night and I hadn't overslept. Oversleeping has never been a problem for me. I'm sure this weird dream is another side effect of the whole 30 and going to bed with guilt. I had some trouble getting back to sleep afterwards.


Anyway, I threw a pork tenderloin in the slow cooker with some onions (because this thread told me it was ok to do so), went about my usual morning routine, and headed to my father's. Thankfully, I was only there for a few hours - I totally enjoy his company and we had a good time, but he has all kinds of candy in dishes around the house. Usually I find myself stopping by those candy dishes frequently when I visit, but today I stayed focused on the project and then I made my exit.


However, when I left, all I wanted was some coffee with cream. Or a hot chocolate. Or something that wasn't black coffee. Even though I had a healthy lunch at my dad's, I ended up stopping for a larabar so I didn't make any rash decisions on having a sugary beverage.


I don't know why I was hit so hard with the craving at that point. It could have been being around open candy dishes for 5 hours straight, but I also think maybe I didn't really want to leave his house because I felt like that meant I should hurry home and log back on to work. I decided against it... sure, I have work I need to get done, but I figured I should at least have the day to myself for my mental health and I can log on tonight when nobody else is online bothering me for stuff.


Instead of rushing home to do work, I made a stop at Costco to pick up a few things I was running low on at home (cans of tuna, chicken apple sausage, and carrots). But I felt unsatisfied by the larabar and still had thoughts about cocoa - so I felt ravenously hungry when I got home and ate dinner early. That slow cooked pork tenderloin? It was very disappointing. Way too dry. Lesson learned for next time.


Still unsatisfied, I made myself some coconut butter in my Blendtec because I just read in this article I should make it instead of buy it. Another mistake. It takes way too long, and is an incredibly messy process, and I ran out of patience. And I'm still thinking I should have just gotten a freakin hot chocolate.


Like I mentioned yesterday, I'm glad that the project didn't take all day because now I can go to bootcamp tonight, but I really need a nap. It's really draining to know that I still have to log on for work in a few hours. I think I want a nap before bootcamp, but I'm worried I just won't get up to go if I lie down.


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, 2 BP coffee (I had extra time at home this morning, so I figured why not have a second cup)

M2: tuna, spinach with balsamic, applesauce

Snack: Larabar

Dinner: Dry pork tenderloin, tahini butter, dry coconut butter.

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Day 13.


Feeling a bit better today than I did last night, but... didn't make it to bootcamp. I set my alarm to lay down for a half hour and when it went off, I just couldn't get up. I have conflicting thoughts about it - on the one hand, I'm mad at myself as it's only offered twice each week and I didn't stay for the entire class on Monday... plus, it was a gift that I even had the time to go last night as I originally thought I would be helping on my father's project all day. But on the other hand, I feel like maybe I really needed rest. I'm running a million miles an hour (figuratively) at work and there's no end in sight (also looks like I'll be working through the weekend). Then there's also the looming project of trying to sell my house.


When I did finally get back up again last night, I tried logging on to my work computer remotely... but couldn't. Something must have happened at the office and shut off my laptop. Another frustration for me, as I knew today's forecast included snow and I was planning on working from home to avoid it. Instead, I got up early to drive into the office, pick up my laptop, and head home before the snow hit.


I am not a fan of it being the first day of spring and having snow on the ground.On top of that, I feel like I definitely need to get to the gym tonight since I missed the last two days, but the snow is only supposed to get worse this afternoon.


Oh well. To end on a positive... if I have to work on the weekend, at least I get to do so at home in comfort. And feeling good about it being Day 13. I completed one whole 30 but have never been able to finish a second - longest streak last time was 15 days, so I'm feeling confident I can beat it this time around.


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, 2 BP coffee

M2: tuna, spinach with balsamic, 1 BP coffee (probably too many coffees today...)

Dinner (planned): Dry pork tenderloin, spinach with balsamic tahini butter

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Good morning - early on day 14 but I have a few moments so figured I'd log here before I head over to the gym. Gotta wait for my chili to finish cooking.


I didn't make it there last night - the snow was pretty heavy around here. I knew I'd be slow to get there this morning too, as I'm waiting for it to mostly melt before I hit the road. I didn't want to get out of bed today - not much to look forward to, even though it's the weekend. I have been fairly productive this morning - did my weekly cook-up and caught up on some volunteer work (I handle the website and communications for a local nonprofit). Heading out to the gym next, but then I have real work to do the rest of the day... Blah. The only thing I'm looking forward to is maybe watching a redbox movie tonight with my husband. Step/yoga class tomorrow morning... then probably more work during the day. Again, a glass of wine sounds amazing right now. I've said it before, but in the past - on weekends like this - I could at least plan for a fun night out to dinner. It was a cheap, easy source of entertainment that would give me something to look forward to. But if I want to make this a permanent lifestyle, I've got to figure out other ways to have fun (even when insanely busy).


We'll see how running goes today - my legs are already giving me a hard time.


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, coffee

M2: tuna, spinach with balsamic, applesauce 1 BP coffee

M3: Dry pork tenderloin, carrots with sunshine sauce (I made this with the rest of the tahini so I wouldn't eat anymore spoonfulls of tahini), coconut milk chai, regular tea


Update - It's 7pm and I feel super productive! I got everything done I set out to do (my run only lasted 30 mins, and then I did another 30 mins on the elliptical - eventually I'll get back to my 6 mile runs, I'm sure). Doing my work wasn't as bad as I thought it might be today, but I feel like I earned my time watching some TV tonight.

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Mid-afternoon on Day 15 here. It's an exciting moment as with the successful ending of the day today, I will have made it farther than I ever have on a 2nd W30 attempt! I have no doubts I will be successful - I'm feeling pretty good today mood-wise and realized that with my uber-productivity yesterday, I earned myself a free day to do whatever I wanted today!


So I did just that... and I only feel a tiny bit of guilt - wondering if maybe I shouldn't have focused more attention on what I can do to prep my house for sale.


Also, I made it to my step class this morning but didn't stay for yoga. I'm feeling a twinge of guilt about that too - it wasn't like I was rushing home to do anything better, I just lost the motivation to stay and wanted to sit in the sauna at the gym instead.


I did spend the last two hours on the phone catching up with friends and family - that felt pretty good. Going to do some research now on upcoming garage sales in the area that I might be able to piggyback off of.


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, coffee

M2: tuna, spinach with balsamic, 1 BP coffee

M3 (planned - very similar to yesterday): Dry pork tenderloin, carrots with sunshine sauce, coconut milk chai, regular tea


If I continue to feel like I do today, the next 15 days should be a piece of cake. Or no piece of cake.


The question is - is it sustainable beyond that time period for me? Even now, I just got a Starbucks promotion for a free pastry with afternoon coffee purchase tomorrow. I have a tough time passing up freebies! But I just have to remember what free junk comes with - unstable moods, bloating, and general unhappiness.

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I have a tough time passing up freebies! But I just have to remember what free junk comes with - unstable moods, bloating, and general unhappiness.

Nothing in our world is free anymore, especially from big money making companies. They give you the "free" pastry (telling you that you "earned" it) because they know that sugar (especially refined) is no different to our brains than cocaine is. One taste and we become addicted. Our brains remember that rush, that "feel good" feeling (even tho overriding our bodies memory of feeling yucky) and we keep going back for more! In other words, the big company knows that giving away a few pastries will reap them millions in revenue.

Congrats on doing so well - stay the course!

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Day 16!! :D


Today is cause for celebration because it is officially the farthest I've made it on a 2nd whole 30. What feels even better about this is that I'm on the downhill side of the mountain - everything should be smooth sailing from here, right? I'm in a particularly good mood for a Monday - but partly had to do with I only needed to be in the office 1/2 today as the second half of the day I was out fulfilling continuing education requirements. Clothes seem to be fitting a bit better, skin seems to be a little clearer...


But I was pretty hungry when I got home, so I ate even though it is way early for dinner - but I figured it's fine as I'll be sufficiently digested so I can make it to bootcamp tonight. I'm also feeling a bit tired but I think I have enough time to get a quick nap in too and still wake up in time to not miss bootcamp like I did last week.


Eating a lot of carrots today - I forgot when I bought a giant bag at Costco last Thursday that my husband wasn't going to need packed lunches this week, so I'm on the hook for eating these. Plus I ran out of other veggies - gotta make a trip to Trader Joe's tomorrow night to restock. I know carrots are a bit higher in sugar than other veggies, so I don't want to make this a habit - but they certainly taste like candy right now!


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, coffee

M2: chili, mashed carrot, apple sauce, coffee

M3 chili, carrots with sunshine sauce, 2 pineapple rings


I think I'll make myself a coconut milk chai after bootcamp. Today's one of those days where - because I was out 1/2 day - it feels like I might need to log on again tonight to get some work done. But I don't want to burn out really early in the week, and a few meetings just came off my plate for Wednesday freeing up some time for me. We'll see after bootcamp - I really don't want to be in the position of having to work again through this weekend.

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Day 17 coming to a close. I have moments where I'm like "Wow, Day 17 already!" and then moments where I'm like "It's only Day 17? Really?"


Is there any point where one stops counting the days and just says "well, this is the way I eat now. This is everyday"? I'd like that to be me one day.


Weird dreams again last night. Most of my dream had nothing to do with food, except towards the end where my mother reminded me not to forget a cupcake, and I just picked one off of a beautiful tower of cupcakes and ate it. Once again, relieved it was just a dream, but it did cause me to wake up in the middle of the night. Was extra tired this morning rolling out of bed.


Bootcamp went well last night, but I drank a little too much chai afterwards. Today was a rest day from the gym - I needed to head to my car dealer to drop off my car for repairs and pick up a loaner. The dealer isn't very close to me, but it doesn't bother me to go there because Trader Joe's is right next door and they have really good prices on some of my staples like free range whole chicken, sauerkraut, and coconut milk. However, I feel like every time I go there it's always a disappointment because they are always out of at least one of these things I usually need - the past few times, it's been the chicken. Tonight they had one whole chicken left, thank goodness, but no coconut milk! I'm down to my last can in the pantry. I really wanted to make a curry on Thursday too, so I'm bummed. They were also out of zucchini (I wanted to make zoodles) and no organic apples. I was able to get a few different veggies so that I'm not eating carrots 3x a day anymore.


I'm keeping my fingers crossed that - at the very least - coconut milk is restocked tomorrow so that I can get more when I pick up my car tomorrow night. I may also end up buying dinner out - first time this round - as I want to hit the gym tomorrow night too. With so much going on, it will be easier for me to pick up something (are carnitas from Chipotle still compliant?) then to try to get everything done and eat dinner at home at 9 or so.


Might have eaten a bit much today, but at least I didn't get home from work ravenously hungry for dinner like yesterday. So maybe what I'm thinking was too much is really the right amount.


Mood continues to hold stable, even though I should really have significant stress right now between work and getting my house ready for sale.


M1: sausage, carrots, 2x coffee (needed the extra boost this morning)

M2: chili, carrots, almonds, 2 slices of pineapple, coffee

M3: chili, carrots, apple/banana bar from TJs, hardboiled egg, pomegranate tea

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Day 18 - the weird dreams continue. No food in them last night, but my brain is seriously working overtime during sleep.


I've felt a bit agitated/keyed up since about 4pm today. I have found my mood to be pretty stable, but there's just been no downtime - ran home from work to walk/feed the dog, ran to the gym to get a 30 minute interval run done (no lead legs today, at least), ran back to the car dealer (made it just in time before they closed for the evening), ran to Trader Joe's again afterwards (success! got 7 cans of coconut milk, 2 more whole chickens, and zucchini for zoodles!), and ran home for dinner (ditched the plan for Chipotle and found it didn't matter - I was certainly hungry when I got home at 9pm, but not ravenous). Have spent the last hour catching up on emails, have to package a few things that I've sold recently on eBay (just part of the process of de-cluttering in order to move soon), take the dog out again, clean the cat litter and crash hard.


It's just too much. Somewhere in there I'd like to get an hour of watching house of cards. If I go to bed a little later tonight, I think that's ok - I get to work from home tomorrow, meaning I can sleep in a few extra minutes if needed.


While I am enjoying better moods for the most part, I was a bit annoyed that my jeans are still kind of snug. My wedding ring is still tight too. I know, I know - I still have a little more than a third of the program left. I'll try to find patience with it again.


Tomorrow night should be much more low key, helped by the fact that I don't have to commute for work - I have an appointment with my therapist and then bootcamp.


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, BP coffee

M2: spinach w/ balsamic, tuna, 2 slices pineapple, coffee

PWO: hard boiled egg

M3: chili, mashed carrot, hard boiled egg, pomegranate tea

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Early in the day here on Day 19, but needed to take a breather. I'm at the point in my W30 where I keep thinking I'm a day ahead of where I really am. I keep telling myself it's day 20 (not true) and then I remember it's only Thursday and not Friday yet, and wonder why I keep trying to get ahead of myself.


I did end up getting my hour of downtime watching house of cards last night, but still woke up early today as I had a boatload of cooking to do and wanted to get it out of the way before the craziness of the day started. I got my curried beef over zucchini noodles done, and also made a new-to-me recipe from Nom Nom Paleo that turned out pretty good, except it has made way more than 4-6 servings. I think I added too much water.


Looks like another weekend of bringing work home. Maybe this time I will actually catch up.


Tonight - therapist at 5, bootcamp at 7 - there's always that time that my appointment ends before bootcamp begins that I try to talk myself out of going to bootcamp. I usually end up getting there (sometimes traffic is so bad that it really takes me that long to get to the gym), but feel like I need a strategy to ensure that I go and not get too worried about it.


M1: two hardboiled eggs, 3/4 apple (since the soup recipe only called for 1/4), a little bit of soup, BP coffee

M2: two hardboiled eggs, soup, coffee

M3: curried beef over zucchini, 2 slices pineapple, mashed carrot, TJs coconut/apple bar, coffee

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Day 20. The last 24 hours haven't been my best. My session with my therapist went well and I think I can taper down my appointments. However, we ended our session on time which left me with an hour before bootcamp started... the whole time in the car, all I thought about was how much I just wanted to skip and go home and take a nap.


I compromised... I asked myself what type of workout I might be willing to complete with the energy I had on hand, and I decided 30 minutes of rowing would be reasonable. It meant I could just go straight to the gym and get it done - no waiting, no time to talk myself out of it, just do it. So that worked out well.


Same thing happened on my way home from work tonight. I just really only wanted a nap. This time, I wasn't so pushy - I decided working out 5 days each week, even if an easier workout than I usually have, is fine. I will make up for it tomorrow with some running.


Not really feeling that great about my food choices either for the last day. I think I might have an issue with eggs. I never really felt satisfied or full yesterday - I just wanted to keep eating. I feel like I've made this observation before about eggs...Need to go back through my prior whole 30 logs and see if I recorded anything about it.


Today was more satisfying meal-wise, but I tread shaky ground by buying some coconut date bars. I know better... these things are like candy. When I went into the store, I had hoped they would have them in the bulk bin so that I could just buy one or two. But they only had them for sale pre-packaged. My brain told me I could have two, be satisfied, and save the rest for another day, no problem. But nope. Still have sugar demons. Feeling frustrated with myself because I really do know better... I've logged about keeping them (and larabars) off limits, just like I keep sunbutter and coconut butter off limits mostly. Oh well, I still have 10 more days to go on the Whole 30, so maybe something will click in those 10 days. In the meantime, no more dates. Maybe no more eggs too.


In positive news, I think I managed to be productive enough today to avoid a weekend of work! I will spend some time working on house related things to prep it for sale, but am also giving myself a few things to look forward to - a haircut tomorrow, a movie with my husband tomorrow night, and maybe chipotle with a friend on Sunday.


M1: sausage, broccoli soup, BP coffee

M2: tuna, spinach with balsamic, coffee, coconut date rolls

M3: curried beef over zucchini, 1 egg, 1 carrot w/ sunshine sauce

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Feeling better today on day 21. I woke up feeling a little bit bloated from too much food yesterday, so I didn't eat breakfast until later in the morning. Logged 5 miles on a treadmill and then had the most luxurious relaxing haircut. Now I'm just killing some time before jumping into housework. I wish this home sale process could be handled movie-montage style. It's much more difficult than the whole 30.


Put one of my TJ's whole chickens in the crockpot this morning, but it may not be done in time before I go to the movies with my husband - thinking about taking in a matinee instead. That would mean putting off the housework portion of my day until the evening though, which is not a great idea... I don't see my motivation sticking through the day.


Tomorrow - step then yoga, then hanging out with a friend for a while. She wanted to come over to cook something healthy with me but I'm at the point where I have too much food on hand since my husband has been traveling for work. So maybe we'll just have leftovers or we'll go out for something. Haven't been out to eat for anything since starting the W30, other than the two business meetings I had to attend. So it might be a nice treat.


M1: sausage, carrots, coffee

M2: tuna, spinach w/balsamic, coffee

M3 (planned): chicken, broccoli soup

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Day 22! Feeling good although sad the weekend is coming to a close. Luckily, it's a short work week and the weather forecast for Friday looks AWESOME. Hope it sticks that way so that I can get an outdoor run in.


I have a lot to be proud of this weekend. I ended up being very productive around the house yesterday - feeling in a good space about getting the house ready for sale. The de-cluttering process is going well - have been able to purge some things through ebay and half.com, have other stuff listed on craigslist, and we have a plan to participate in a community yard sale on the 18th - anything that we don't sell there, we'll donate. So I only have to live with the clutter a little while longer. So with the hard work I put in yesterday afternoon, I really felt like I 'earned' my movie time with my husband last night.


Today, I attended step and yoga class as planned. It's been a while since I did both classes. Even while I was at yoga, I kept telling myself I could leave at any time, but I stuck with it and feel great for having done so.


My eating over the last day has been very good too - stuck with the plan, no in-between snacking. I enjoyed meeting up with my friend for coffee this afternoon - we had a lot to catch up on, and it felt good that I didn't need to have a plate of food in front of me to do so. The coffee was a good compromise too, so that I could eat my meals at home and not have to waste anything.


I've started thinking about what exactly I'm going to do on day 30 because I think at this point I will definitely get there - likely continue eating this way, but maybe start taking some supplements again that I had paused while doing the w30. There is a challenge coming up on Wednesday - another all-day business meeting where I'm not sure what's going to be offered for lunch. The good news is that the company cafeteria is right around the corner and I can always decline the provided lunch and buy myself a salad at the cafeteria.


The weird dreams continue, though. Am I just stuck with that forever?


M1: sausage, carrots, BP coffee

M2: coffee, curried beef, carrot w/ sunshine sauce

M3 (planned): chicken, broccoli soup, coconut milk chai

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Day 23 and my mood has taken a bit of a downturn. After I logged here yesterday, the day didn't end so well - I felt a bit out of control with my eating. I had already eaten dinner, but had some bone broth cooking away over the weekend and then made chicken soup with it. Once my soup was done, all I wanted was to keep eating it, especially the broth. I know I overdid it because I didn't feel that great when I woke up this morning - not really very hungry.


It seems I still have binge eating problems, I've just substituted soup/meat/veggies for cookies and candy. I thought by day 23 I'd be more in control. Even when I started the whole 30, I kind of knew I'd need more than 30 days - still, I feel like I've been lied to. Who can really make permanent lasting change in just 30 days?


At the same time... I look at what I could be doing better here. For example, I haven't really been consistent with having a PWO meal. For example, on day 21 I ran 5 miles, but kept it to three meals. Part of the issue was that I had overeaten the day before so wasn't really that hungry. So maybe in addition to keeping dried fruit and eggs off the menu for the next week, I'll also try to be more consistent about having a PWO - and an actual meal, not just a chai - on days I work out.


Maybe I need to drink less coffee too. There's so many variables at play here.


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, BP coffee

M2: chicken soup, spinach w/balsamic vinaigrette, kraut, coffee

M3: chicken soup, 2 carrots w/ sunshine sauce

PWO: coconut milk chai

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Thanks Krista. Glad to hear it's not just me!


Day 24 was only a little bit better - a lot of stress at work. I feel on edge about a lot of things, and anxiety is creeping in over a work meeting I have to attend tomorrow. It's an all-day offsite meeting, which means breakfast, lunch, and snacks are provided. Am I really likely to totally go off-roading 25 days in to the whole 30? Heck no. Still, somehow visions keep popping in my head of me indulging in candy or sugar or something problematic. Add in the social anxiety of a large group meeting and it's going to be a tough day.


I forgot to mention a positive thing yesterday was that I had a great bootcamp workout; however, today I was planning on running 4 or 5 miles but work got in the way. I left the office an hour later than I intended to, and decided I'd take a break from the gym tonight. This bought me some time to cook up some paleo shepherd's pie (an Elana's pantry recipe) for the coming days, as well as prepare for a big meeting I have on Thursday. The only downside is that I was planning on taking tomorrow night off (as a reward for getting through what's going to be a trying day tomorrow) but will now have to get to the gym.


So in preparation for two days of important meetings, I tried on a few outfits that I haven't been able to wear in quite some time. And they fit! They were a little snug, but it is a big difference from where I was a month ago when I last tried them on for a different meeting. So I can assume some progress is being made!


M1: sausage, mashed carrot, BP coffee

M2: chicken soup, spinach w/balsamic vinaigrette, kraut, coffee

Snack (2:30pm): Banana. This was a result of feeling stress and feeding it with something sweet. Need to find a better way to cope with afternoon stress.

M3: chicken soup, 2 carrots w/ sunshine sauce, TJ's pomegranate tea

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Day 25 brought the opposite of Tiger Blood. I woke up feeling awful - a migraine and nausea. Ended up spending most of the day in bed, and am finally feeling well enough to be upright at the moment. Might have some soup in a little bit.


So all of the anxiety over today's offsite business meeting was for naught as I stayed home from work. However, I did end up giving my boss and coworkers a scare because they were expecting me to be at the offsite meeting. I vaguely recall sending a text or email to my boss first thing this morning saying I was going to be out, but she didn't get it. So I woke up this afternoon to a slew of text messages from my boss, coworker, and my husband (asking if I was ok because my boss called him as my emergency contact). Not feeling great about causing all of that worry.


Looked over my last whole 30 log and found that I also had a headache on Day 25 then too - but wasn't crippled by it. So not sure if something else is going on - maybe all of the other stressful things in my life are catching up with me.

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Day 26 - thankful that a long weekend begins, although I'll have some catching up to do from missing work yesterday. No big deal, not a whole lot planned otherwise for the weekend. I was feeling a bit better after I posted last night, so I made it to the gym, but kept it a light work out on the elliptical instead of running. Tonight I was supposed to go to bootcamp but I'm not - just feeling a bit drained from another big meeting today. Plus someone wants to buy something off of me from Craigslist, and said he'd be coming by around 6:30 but is now going to be late. Oh well.  I'll do a long run tomorrow morning.


Tiger Blood on day 26? Nope. And definitely having weird digestive issues lately... even before feeling sick yesterday. I'm not sure what to think about that... maybe I need to go low fodmap for a while?


M1: paleo shepherd's pie, bp coffee

M2: soup, spinach salad w/ balsamic, kraut, coffee

M3: 1/2 can tuna, broccoli soup (large-ish bowl), pomegranate tea... still feeling a bit hungry though.

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Day 27 - nope, still should not have nuts in the house. I found myself grabbing way too many almonds today. Hoping the tea I'm drinking now will get my mind off of the nuts and help me relax.


Had to go back to eggs this morning because I was out of breakfast-type food (husband is home from business travel, and would probably have revolted at having shepherd's pie for breakfast). I need to figure out some good breakfast recipes that will also work with a lower fodmap approach, as my chicken and apple sausages are out. And to not have eggs either... just not sure how this is going to work. Perhaps I'll still give my husband the sausages that are left and switch over to tuna at breakfast since I don't really care what time of day it is, and he doesn't eat tuna anyway. M1 veggies will be mashed carrots with cinnamon for both of us.


Today was a little bit stressful in that we met with our real estate agent and some of the things she wants us to do to prep the house for sale were not things I had on my agenda. Not sure if that lingering stress is driving me to eat more nuts, but it's not like this is new - nuts have always been a "food with no brakes" for me. Plus it was an otherwise low key day - got to the gym this morning but struggled halfway into my run with lead legs - so after a half hour, I switched over to rowing for 20 mins. Will try again for a long run tomorrow - if it's not raining, maybe it will be my first outdoor run in 2015 (in my neighborhood, that is - not counting the half marathon I did in Southern California in January). After the gym, made my weekly trip to the grocery store then met with the real estate agent. Planning on winding down the evening with some House of Cards.


Tomorrow is kind of up in the air after the long run - I am overdue on a visit to my father, but it's always a challenge to get in a visit with him that doesn't involve food. Trying to figure out how I can finagle it.


M1: 2.5 eggs and spinach, 2 cups coffee

M2: paleo shepherd's pie, almonds, BP coffee

M3: chicken soup, spring mix salad with balsamic, 1 egg, almonds, pomegranate tea

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Early in the day here on day 28. Woke up feeling kind of blah because of overeating almonds last night. I keep thinking about Easter tomorrow and how it would be nice to have a chocolate bunny.


And then I think about how stupid it would be to quit on day 29.


Then I think.. if I wait, Chocolate bunnies will always be on sale on Tuesday! But I also think I need to keep going beyond day 30 so that I can be free of ever thinking about chocolate bunnies again.


I'm just going to put this here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHZebMNRGQ0#t=176  Not that I'm running any marathons, but what really hit me on this was where the women stand in the locations where they quit the last marathons they tried. This is how I feel about my second whole 30 right now... So many starts and stops in the last year to try to get this done, and the finish line is right ahead of me. Except it's not... because even though I'm officially just about done with the program, I have a long way to go.


Alright, I'll check back in later. Not anxious to get my day started... hitting the gym then probably logging in to catch up on work I missed Wednesday. Party on.


Update: Gym done, now procrastinating getting my work done. Just like yesterday, today was a struggle at the gym. I really wanted to get 5-6 miles done but at mile 3, I was done. I tried to push myself one more mile, but only made it 3.5 - then switched to the elliptical. This is not what I expected at this point in the program. Perhaps need to add a daily sweet potato at this point.


M1: 2.5 eggs blended with baby spinach, 2 cups coffee

M2: tuna over baby spinach, balsamic vinaigrette, BP coffee

M3: (planned) - paleo pad thai - have the ingredients on hand and I haven't made this in a while, and probably won't again until after I test out the low fodmap approach. Meatloaf and mashed sweet potato at Cavé

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