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Dirty 30 "Best Group on W30"


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My Dear Dirty 30 Family,


You are all so precious to me I can even tell you.


Welcome Wyoinap - thank you for sharing what you can.


CC - I love what you had to say about how you work on you relationship, you don't just wait for it to work, or not work. It sounds like Dave does that too. Rick, glad to hear you guys are human. I was doing well in the exercise department for a while, but I'm way off my norm and it affects me.


Cara, you're amazing and you sound like a very positive and caring person. I hope your feeling my high five!


Deb, I think we are kindred spirits. I do believe you and I are on the cusp of something amazing. We have to stay our course and continue to do whatever it takes to heal ourselves inside and out, top to bottom.


Dearest, Dearest Higs, Thank you so much for trusting us with all of you life issues. Isn't it funny how we only see the beauty in others lives and rarely take the time or opportunity to hear their story. Yours is a heartbreaker, except that you have created the light in yourself and are following it. I had a lifecoach once tell me to stop chasing the light in others and allow my own light to shine and draw the right people to me. You are a lighthouse, keep your light lit and let others choose or not choose to come to you. I have a lot of lighthouses in and around my house as a constant reminder to myself.


I had a good day, although it wouldn't live up to Dave's standards. We went searching for a dog, to no avail, That could be a blessing in disguise. We drove. Went to costco.


I know this will seem a little out there to some, but what if meeting each other was the plan? Whose plan, I'll leave up to your belief system.


I for one feel part of a divine plan.




Miki Mama Mia

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Dear Ones,

Ah, how you swell my heart with your thoughtful contributions and your keen insights. Scratch the surface and you will find so much fortitude, so much compassion, so much life. I feel incredibly fortunate to be given this glimpse of your hearts and minds. Makes me feel humble and small and open to what I can learn from such marvellous teachers as you all are becoming for me.


I too want to respond individually to every post, they are like the direct line to your souls. And so familiar to me, quite a lot of what you all express feels like something I could have written myself. Bad relationships with others, with yourself, with food; supporting people we love who become very difficult to love through their illness; pushing through an invisible but tangible wall of obstacles all the time. So familiar.


I think the same as you Miki, I think that fate brings you what you need, and we all needed each other to shine a light into the dark well at our centers and let us see ourselves clearly. So I am grateful, and I am humbled, and I am happy in your company.


Deb, everything you said was resonant to me. You are one intelligent broad and you have the self-awareness and determination I aspire towards.


Higs? I just love you. What a diamond you are. I am so glad you are finding your happy hiker and your inner gourmet goddess. As you know, you cannot help anyone before you help yourself. Its like putting your oxygen mask on before helping the kids with theirs, isn't it?


Sadie, asking for help is the hardest thing to do, isn't it? Well done you.


Cara, I've run a few miles in those shoes you talked about, glad you got out the other side with so much loveliness intact.


Dave... if anybody deserves a happy home and a beautiful wife its you. Its so nice to think of you two reading through this messy little emotional tangle together. Your night sounds perfect. Yeah, I said perfect, you were right, some things just are.


CC and Rick, you guys are too cool for school. I'm going to float the idea of a Sunday night check-in with my fella. He's very Irish though, so talking about anything remotely emotional that isn't sports related causes him an almost physical discomfort. Too bad he's with an American feelings-junkie.


Meadow, you are like a life preserver to me sometimes. You buoy me up and you confront me with my inconsistencies. Thanks for always keeping it real. Perspective, right?

Welcome wyoinap. There's always room at this table. Best place in town.

Laurie, I can't believe you're 51, I too thought you were in your 20s. You come across as daisy fresh. Love that open heart of yours.

I'll be really pissed if I come to the end and look back on posts and miss anybody because you are all in my thoughts so much. If I did, its not because I don't love ya, its because I am in the middle of a kitchen maelstrom created by the littles and have become distracted by the sheer scale of the mess they can create with breakfast leavings. Astonishing.


Did a non-gluten grain reintro yesterday and no issues apart from not really caring to eat those things regularly. I did however discover that I have a reaction to Brazil nuts, Miki, I never would have thought of it if it wasn't for you. I thought it was my seasonal allergies kicking in and then remembered what you said about the itchy neck and ears, so I tested the hypothesis and it was definitely the nuts. Oh well, no biggie.


Won't yack on any further, there are more important observations being made on here right now and I for one am riveted.

Love to all,



PS CC, I've made the well fed pad thai quite a few times. Her sunshine sauce recipe is killer. I also combined it with nomnompaleo's coconut shrimp and it was about the most heavenly meal I have ever eaten, including fancy 5 star restaurants (not that there have been many of those, but I have lived for food for a long time so there have been times I saved religiously just to eat somebody's famous rabbit terrine). I loved what you said about sustainability of w30, yes for today. I think saying yes each day is the best approach of all. Its only one day when you see it that way. I wish we could all get together at a w30 festival of joyousness and eat, drink and be oh so merry. But I get to visit your ethereal avatars each day and that is more than I could have hoped for- if less than my greedy little heart would like. I can't believe Miki and Deb are single, I'd quite like to marry you both. If wishes were horses I'd be a multiple bigamist though, so many platonic crushes hereabouts these days. Catch you all on the flip side.


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LOL - Rick, you get the award for funny, succinct a poignant post of the day (usually Dave would get that, GOOD JOB).


This is boss is back in town week, so won't be able to post as much (I don't think).


I'm trying to see if I can look in my tiny, rear-view mirror a bit less, and start looking out my beautiful, clean (thanks to whole 30) windshield and create a new me. Not worry about what I've don't or haven't done for 54 years, but rather what I want to create for the next 54. I'm going to start a "wish list". I'm going to focus on getting healthy enough to do it all. Deb, I'm going to attend yoga class even though I'm only at 40 percent of what I was (in my rear-view mirror). CC&R, I'm going to get on a bicycle no matter how big I think my ass is going to look compared to 30 pounds ago (in my rear-view mirror) and I'm going to find a friend with a boat (maybe a smidge closer than Dave) and I'm going to get on it now, instead of wishing it was 20pounds ago (in my rear-view mirror).


Rose, I would marry you and Deb in a hot minute! We were out with friends the other night and I was describing what I would like in a man and one of the men in the group said, Miki, you just described a woman...It is something to think about. Maybe I just need more girlfriend time so I can let the boys I adore (Dave and Rick among them) be boys.


Your Thai dinner sounds amazing, I can't wait to try it. I'm not overly impressed with my new cook book, but perhaps I should try a recipe or two before I start pouting.


Rose, I can't quite get my diet back to pure whole 30 (lazy loves to be my partner) but when I do, and I get itch free, I would love to add one nut at a time and see if I could keep one, just one. I am pretty itchy right now. I bought regular chicken broth to make my stinky soup, thinking it won't kill me, but tried not making broth and just used water and it worked great! so didn't need that preservative or the bad oil...attagirl.


I was walking yesterday with no pain in my hip (no trotting or stairs yet, but baby steps) and I thought, this is fantastic. I WANT TO FEEL FANTASTIC.


So a toast to all of you (PS, I thought Laurie was much younger too) may you love yourself today. Take good care of yourself. Make you and your health a priority, no matter what other people are doing. 


How do you ask restaurants if they put sugar in their salads like TJ's does?


Deb, how did you do at Versailles, I've never gone with the full cabana...I'm impressed. Good choices you made.


I have a lot of dinners and lunches coming up...wish me luck. The company picnic is the worst...but I don't want to feel yucky anymore. I just don't.


Make it a great day!



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Lots of open hearts and souls on this thread....all good stuff! I won't use any of it in my tell-all book except what Miki writes! MRI went well, no serious damage or surgery required. He offered me some anti-inflammatory pills for a couple weeks and some rest OR I could got three more cortizone shots in the shoulder. I took the shots because I told him I wasn't very good at rest. Extra squishy......feels pretty good! Thanks everyone for your healthy wishes!

All - Kelly and I will celebrate our 21st anniversary at the end of the month and I wanted to give you our secrets to success. 1)Never go to bed mad.......I can't tell you how many times I was up all night! 2) My mother-in-law told me before I married her daughter "Life is a shit sandwich and every day you take another bite...being married means you don't have to eat alone!" What a beautiful sentiment....and to think that Hallmark hasn't made a card out of that yet! 3)Never be jealous of what they DID in the past....it's what made them who they are. 4)We made an agreement that whoever left the relationship had to take the kids.....we are stuck together. 5) Communicate about everything......I am the communicator and have to drag things out of her. 6) Tell them you love them and give them a kiss goodnight....even when you aren't really sure if you do hahaha! 7)Never talk to a family member any different than you would a good friend. 8) Enjoy each other and laugh....we do this a lot!

Miki - like most of us on here, I believe we are all just SHORT FOR OUR WEIGHT! If I was 6'6 I would be a beast. Your quote "I would have a much better pool of men to choose from if I was 125 pounds instead of 175." I wouldn't want to meet the men that would only be available to you if you were 50 pounds lighter. They would be the same men who wouldn't want you if you gained it back.......which you won't....EVER!

Deb - I would love to come out that way and if work brings me I will be contacting you both....promise!

Higs - Sorry to hear of everything that you are battling mentally, physically, and emotionally. You must be some kind of incredible to do everything you do (like so many in this group) to keep a positive outlook, a smile on your face, a hope and belief that things will get better, and still have time to say or write something to make other people's lives better!

CC - congrats on your upcoming anniversary, sounds like we will celebrate around the same time. Glad to hear that you have to work at your relationship....if it was easy you would probably be doing it wrong.

Meadow - love the bug. The parking is a little scary...my wife would have ripped the convertible top off by now.

Great day "Dirty 30"..........now go make it yours!


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Miki/Mini - just a thought........do you eat a lot of chicken broth? If so, most of these broths are loaded with sodium that can make you bloat, retain water (lack of weight loss) dry out your lips and skin (make you itch). Do you think your diet is too heavy on sodium?


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I want to clarify something! I know we talk a lot about our weight, and how we (or others) percieve/view us. I have made comments before...referring to my wife as a "super model"....and, well....to me...she is! I don't say this to be smug or to brag.......only to confess that my strength in life comes from her. I have loved her when she was young with long hair and she was a fresh faced college student. When her ankles were swollen and her face was pudgy with the pregnancy of our first child. I have loved her when our first son was born and she got so very ill and the doctor said that cancer would probably take her in 6 months. I loved her when we took a weekend vacation to the inlaws beach house and her hair started to fall out from the chemo and I struggled to be tough as I shaved her head.....and her tears fell to the floor with her hair! I loved her when the doctors told us after her surgeries that she wouldn't be able to have more kids. I loved her when she wore a wig and still learned to laugh with everything that was happening in our life. I loved her when I rushed home from overseas to be with her after a miscarriage........but realized that she COULD get pregnant! I loved her for giving me two more healthy sons. I loved her when we surpassed 5, 6, 10....19 years of healthy check-ups...defying everything the doctors said to us! I have even loved eating all that rat poison over the years. So to me.......she is my super model wife! I have seen her at her worst.....(which is still pretty damn good)......and stumbled to speak when she is at her best. She has always supported my careers, my dreams, my crazy hobbies, and most of my girlfriends (kidding)........I would be lost without her! Don't let her know I said any of this......she might UP my poison dosage!


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Thanks for peeling back another layer for us. Your Kelly sounds just as amazing as you. Deb and I are just looking for amazing...HEY DEB, do we need to move to Maryland?


Dave, I would be honored to be in your tell-all book, honestly. I think the more honest we get and the more we share, the better chance we have a making a difference in the world for our children. The years of hiding "shameful things" has passed, now we look "at the man in the mirror and make a change"!


Cool pics Meadow.

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Just a quickie,


Dave - amazing post sharing more about your wife and what you've been through. You are both incredible strong peeps, I would expect nothing less from someone you've chosen to be with and your commitment levels. Thank you for, as Miki says, peeling back another layer. 


CC - thank you too for sharing the hard work you put into your relationship. Wow. I am also very impressed at that level of commitment to the partnership. 


Miki and Rose, I am honored to join in the Big Love polygamy sister circle  :lol: Mik I love the lighthouse analogy. Be the light!


Laurie I also thought you were very young. Must be your young spirit shining through.


Miki, not sure about Versailles, I woke up yesterday feeling the way I used to feel after a big night out. Maybe it was a salt bomb and just made me super dehydrated. Or maybe I was anyway. I also panicked thinking that that yucca fries may have been dipped in flour (shoulda asked, didn't) but I don't think that was the case bcs my stomach held firm. Jury still out but its good enough that I would try again. Tonight they're ordering Thai, I'm thinking that's a no for me. 


More later my lovelies. Candy canes and hot chocolate this morning! (not for me) :o

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:D Dave do you have any spare land we can build on? I'm thinking yurts? 


In Miki's defense I must say that we as "middle aged" single woman in Los Angeles are uniquely disadvantaged. I speak with years of experience of being married, single, and a serial online dater here. Every hot chick in the USA comes to LA to try to be an actress. As a result there is a massive glut of hot women of all ages here, many meeting society's criteria for visual perfection. As a result of this, any old schlubby dude can shoot a buncha hot fish in a barrel. Its every man's dream! And they know it. I know all the stories of, there's someone out there for everyone and the right guy will see into your soul (and I do believe that) but I will tell ya, we're in tough territory over here. Maybe we SHOULD move to Maryland! Or Alaska!

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I have the land...bring the yurts! Maybe I should move to LA.....sounds like there are hords of women waiting for me...hahahaha

If you can't make it this far, I have a beautiful home in Missouri with a lovely 1/2 acre backyard, fenced in with an inground pool.


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I missed everyone today and have enjoyed catching up. (I had to go to work today, my boss is a TASK MASTER!)


Many good laughs from Miki and Dave!


Dave, I love the rule about whoever leaves has to take the kids.  I have a friend who is pregnant with her 10th and that's their rule, too!


As Rick mentioned, we discoverd our lethary was likely due to a lack of caffeine. Today was better!  He did NOT mention that he is shrinking before my eyes, and cannot even wear his belt on the smallest notch.  


I wanted to share this article if you haven't read it about "before and after" pictures.  This personal trainer took her pics within 15 min of each other to show how bogus they can be: 




I should know, as someone who would always weigh in day 1 at Weight Watchers with my heavy jeans, a sweater and shoes. Miraculously, I always lost weight the first week! Who was I fooling?


Higs - I am inspired by your loyalty.  Thanks for sharing your story and your struggles.


Rose - good luck on the Sunday night meeting. Maybe you could change the categories slightly to include sports? :)


Laurie - how is your boyfriend doing?


Miki - can you pack your own lunch for the company picnic and make it fabulous so you don't feel like you're missing out?


There is a link to Nom Nom Paleo and packing lunches. Rick and I are getting good at it - we pack every day now, which must be saving us a ton of money.


Finally, the Paelo Pad Thai was awesome! I loved it and will include in our regular dinner rotation!


Whole 36 in the bank!

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I just realized I had missed page 5 completely - I was still commenting on page 4!


Meadow I loved the pictures!


And Dave, wow! Thank you for sharing Kelly's story with us. INSPIRING!


One of my favorite go to quotes from ISWF on this journey for me has been "This is not hard. Fighting cancer is hard." That really kept me going in the tough moments.

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