Really really bored ;(

[Britishgal]

So it's day 8 of my second (almost) consecutive whole30 and although my fridge is full of lovely things I could make loads of yummy dishes with I can't bring myself to make or eat anything.

I'm bored of vegetables and meat and fish. I have loved cooking and eating them so many ways but I'm getting tired of the limitations I think.

I'm tired of going out and just drinking tea because nowhere has anything I can eat and noone has ever heard of paleo (plus it is seen as incredibly rude here to request something off menu and I don't want further social derision!).

I would sell my soul for freshly baked bread with thick set honey or yummy raspberry jam. Or a bowl of pasta. Or even a simple baked potato.

It would break my heart if food just became fuel and there was no enjoyment in it anymore...it is too important to me and my life and relationships for that plus I love cooking ;(

I need help getting through this!!

[Guest WholeStanley]

what are your thoughts on a baked sweet potato? 

 

also have you thought about some non-food based options to break the boredom?

 

I have really enjoyed, and surprised myself, with the new cooking I have done when eating whole30 but sometimes it takes a little nudge to shift your perspective.

 

what are the limitations you feel when you step into the kitchen now? is it a certain sauce, taste or texture u r missing?

 

Have you thought about going out and picking an ingredient you've never used before and got creative/experiment?! During my whole30 I filleted a mackerel for the first time ever, made chicken liver bolognese and cooked with venison - all completely new to me , maybe you need to try something like that.

 

finally, pasta, bread and baked potato were traditionally comforting food for me - if thats the case I think a roasted chicken on a bed of butternut squash and thyme is just as comforting! or a hug/good movie/good book might do the trick instead

 

just some ideas

[LadyM]

I would sell my soul for freshly baked bread with thick set honey or yummy raspberry jam. Or a bowl of pasta. Or even a simple baked potato.

If this is really the way you feel, then perhaps it is time to do reintro. Call it a w39 or w40 or whatever it is, and have those things you're longing for and see what your physical and emotional response is. Then reassess and decide if you want to keep going for another w30 or if it's time to learn how to ride your own bike for a while.

Alternatively, you could simply ride it out, stick to simple foods until it passes, or look around for some new recipes and flavors to try out. One or the other tends to work for me when I get bored, but it depends on the boredom. If I'm tired of cooking, the simplicity option works; if I'm tired of the same old foods, the getting creative and trying new things option works.

You're not good or bad whatever you choose to do. Make the decision deliberately and follow through, that's my best advice.

[Britishgal]

Thank you

I had a sweet potato for my lunch with some of last nights chicken and veg but I forced it down...now I'm staring into the fridge again unable to stir even the slightest bit of interest in dinner and debating giving my 6 year old a chicken sandwich because it requires no interest *sigh*

I kind of feel I'll be letting myself down of I break it as I'd probably dive face first into a cake and be eating boxes of Jaffa cakes in one sitting within a week

*cries*

My mother did point out that the few weeks on whole30 I am even more controlling about my food than I was a few years ago with an eating disorder so I'm wondering if psychologically it is good for me at all...

[Physibeth]

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. If it helps you are not alone. I suffer food boredom and not wanting to cook all the time. Sometimes I just have to work up to it and sometimes I just make something simple. I always have some quick and easy options on hand.

 

What are your reasons for jumping straight into a 2nd Whole30? I agree with Mary that structured reintroductions might be good for you at this point. 

 

Whether or not you decide to stick with your 2nd Whole30 I would encourage you to try and shift your focus from the restrictions to the freedoms. You are free to fill your plate with protein, veggies, and fat - no calorie counting required, you are free to experiment with new meats, vegetables, and fats, you are free to choose what does and does not go into your mouth, you are free from being "bad" or "good" because of the food choices you make. Shifting your focus that way should help with the fear you are expressing and hopefully the eating disorder. And while food is fuel and not comfort that doesn't mean it can't also bring joy. Enjoy your food!

[Britishgal]

I started another whole30 after my son and I caught a bug late in the first one and I gave in to my mother's insistence we drank sugary drinks to avoid dehydration for a few days (I'm 39 but it's still hard when I'll to say no to your mother when she is worried!). I started another whole30 as I felt I'd failed...but maybe it was too soon? Maybe I just should have extended the original one...

[Physibeth]

I started another whole30 after my son and I caught a bug late in the first one and I gave in to my mother's insistence we drank sugary drinks to avoid dehydration for a few days (I'm 39 but it's still hard when I'll to say no to your mother when she is worried!). I started another whole30 as I felt I'd failed...but maybe it was too soon? Maybe I just should have extended the original one...

 

Well this might be a good reason to start over, but I think before you do you need to wrap your mind around doing it because it is your choice and you want to be healthier. You need to be able to say "I don't eat that" for 30 days instead of "I can't eat that" both to yourself and to others. It is a subtle change in thought but a powerful one. 

 

For what it is worth I think you CAN do a fully compliant 30 days if you WANT to. What were your original reasons for starting the program? What benefits were you seeing before you got sick?

 

And for future reference (though I hope you don't get another stomach bug) coconut water is an excellent hydrator when you are sick.

[Britishgal]

I started whole30 to try and cure my issues with food (my whole family have suffered from one eating disorder or another...my siblings, my parents, my aunt, my Nanna...), help my ridiculously dry skin, help battle depression without shed loads of pills (I'm a psychologist and my dr is in agreement with trying) plus maybe lose a bit of wight and generally feel good in my own skin.

If I am being positive I think my relationship with food is better than before I started. I never say even in my head that I can't have something rather I'm chosing not too. I can't see myself eating most of the junk I ate before...I know what I would like to eat and none of it is too bad! I certainly feel better.

But I don't want food to be limited anymore and maybe that has been my true lesson...maybe now after 5 weeks or do I'm starting to revel against the restrictions!

[Britishgal]

Oh and diet coke...I now drink a few litres of water a day rather than multiple cans of diet coke or other fizzy pops

[Physibeth]

Sounds like you have reaped a lot of great benefits from this program. Well done! 

 

Assuming that sugar was the only off plan ingredient you had what I would recommend is doing reintroductions per the program outline at this point. Evaluate how you feel (emotionally/physically) with those foods now and then make a decision about continuing with another Whole30 or starting to ride your own bike.

[Britishgal]

I'll check out the reintroductions...thank you

[Mariana]

Something I have been thinking about for myself regarding this issue, as I have felt the same way although my interpretation was that I had lost my appetite! In my life I have used food as "something to do", "entertainment" as it were. I think now that I do not have rituals around food (going to a cafe to have tea and a scone, etc.) I find that I need to focus on other things and let food be fuel.

 

I remember in OA many decades ago that they had something called the Grey Sheet. As I recall it was very similar to Whole30 in that you removed all your trigger foods and ate just what your body needed to function. At the time is really scared me becuase I was so immersed in using food to comfort myself and I had no other outlets. Now several decades later it is as though I never had any food/eating issues and it almost seems like someone elses life!

 

It does take some adjusting,, but for me learning to eat clean and find ways other than food to both soothe and entertain myself has really paid off!

 

PS: I was a cook and a baker until I went Paleo 3 years ago. It was part of my identity! After week one where I remember crying that i would not be able to bake my beloved sourdough, I have not looked back. The benefits far outway the limitations. (That's not to say that once in awhile the smell of toast or seeing a scone does not make me wistful... I just notice it and move on :-)))

[Britishgal]

Thanks Mariana...I just don't know if I want a life without meals out, dinners at people's houses, matters over coffee and breakfast with friends! It would mean alienating myself from my family and my friends plus all social functions as they all involve food ;(

I love food too much I think after a life of it being the enemy...I just want to eat better choices (make my own pasta and bread and jam, limit cakes and such to special occasions)

I have struggled with food but I binge on "bad" food rather than it being comfort...I basically punish myself by eating something till it makes me feel sick or don't eat at all.

so I want a more level acceptance of food, a better relationship.

I just worry that isn't doable!!

[Mariana]

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you could not do all of those things, I do!

 

• I eat dinner at friends houses and if they are preparing something I cannot eat, I offer to bring a big salad (or something else that is compliant) to share... I think to myself "I choose to feel great and eat the food that make me feel that way"

• I eat out - but choose places that I know I can have "clean food" steak and veggies, or a salad, etc...

• I do not see food as bad, on the contrary!

 

Food as a comfort would be better is defined as: eating that has a pay-off. In this case you are punishing yourself by making "bad choices" or becuase you won't feel well after, or whatever it is for you. It implies that there is a "negative relationship" in that you are using food.

 

Trust me, all of this IS doable. It may just take time. Ultimately one's realtionship to food must change. And eating this way does help (in my experience).

 

Patience and self-love. Start there

[LadyM]

I'd also like to underscore that using w30 as a tool and living a w9 life does not mean never eating noncompliant favorite treats and enjoying social occasions like dining out. It means making those choices very deliberately and perhaps more sparingly than you once did. For me that means that I enjoy and savor them far more.

You seem a bit stuck in the forever mentality and you don't need to stay stuck there!

[Britishgal]

If I turned up at someone's dinner here with my own food it would be seen as an insult and very rude and I certainly wouldn't be invited back. Plus I've yet to find a restaurant or cafe here that is whole30 compliant (and again it just isn't done to ask for something to suit you unless there is a real reason...ie serious illness).

After the last few weeks I've butted heads with this issue over and over!! At a ball I went to and didn't eat it was mentioned by a few people it was an insult to the hosts to refuse to eat and I can see their point...I don't want to be that person ;(

I (hopefully) won't be returning to the same junk and I can't imagine drinking diet coke instead of water but here, in my little life in my slightly posh English village, I could only really do paleo fully by staying home all the time.

[LadyM]

The point is you're not required to stay fully w30 compliant forever! It's a W30, not a W365, for a reason. I wonder if you've read It Starts With Food. If you haven't, I strongly recommend that you do.

[Britishgal]

I have...but my mind works all or nothing sadly...it always has not just with food. A book isn't likely to change that...years of training and counselling and doing wonders with other people's eating problems have never helped my own

it's why the standard "eat a little bit of what you fancy" has never worked for me and why I worry I'll just be back where I started!

I'm the one who after one bite of a biscuit will think "sod that then I may as well eat loads" then eat 3 packets.

[GFChris]

It sounds like, for you, the Whole30 rules are triggering your long standing emotional challenges with food.  If that's the case, it might be time to take a break (see especially the last paragraph in this article, with the heading, "I'm thinking of quitting.") http://whole30.com/2014/01/do-you-really-want-to-quit/

 

It's too bad the choice not to eat certain foods for the betterment of your health is misinterpreted as rudeness in this social situations you've encountered.  

 

I wish I had a solution for you. Is there a trusted counselor with whom you could work on next steps for you?

 

[Britishgal]

I think whole30 has been really good in many ways but maybe my mother is right and it's sort of become a crutch and a way of controlling food moo much at least psychologically.

The sad thing is I know exactly what i'd advise someone else to do but I tend to rebel against my own counselling!

Maybe I do need to find someone to help, my doctor tends to ask me what I think and goes with that so I tend to control my own health (may not be the best plan here!)

[Physibeth]

I have...but my mind works all or nothing sadly...it always has not just with food. A book isn't likely to change that...years of training and counselling and doing wonders with other people's eating problems have never helped my own

it's why the standard "eat a little bit of what you fancy" has never worked for me and why I worry I'll just be back where I started!

I'm the one who after one bite of a biscuit will think "sod that then I may as well eat loads" then eat 3 packets.

 

Do you think that you could grasp the possibility that this could no longer be true for you. I really identify with what you are saying here and I've fought long and hard with severe binge eating behaviors like this. I don't know what it will be for you but for me what has helped is not calling food "bad" or "good" or myself "bad" or "good" for choosing to eat something. I have a long history of sneaking food as a form of rebellion and the throw in the towel mentality. More than a change of what you eat this takes a change of why you eat. It is very rare for me to go whole hog on something off plan now, but even when I do it hasn't changed who I am and I just jump back into my normal patterns again. And like we are saying...it doesn't have to be Whole365. I personally don't have any severe reactions to any of the restricted foods until there is a big build up in my system. So when I'm not committed to a Whole30 I enjoy what sounds good and worth it when I eat socially and try to stay close to the template at home. 

 

Melissa did a 3 part series on what she eats from day to day that might help you to read if you have not already:

http://whole30.com/2014/05/dear-melissa-eat-part-1/

http://whole30.com/2014/05/dear-melissa-eat-part-2/

http://whole30.com/2014/05/dear-melissa-eat-part-3/

[Britishgal]

I'd love to think that could stop being me Physibeth...and maybe it can be once I start reintroducing things, maybe I'm not giving myself any credit!

I do know what I really miss and I'm determined, if I do keep them in my diet and they don't make me I'll, that I'll only buy and eat the best versions of them. Freshly baked crusty bread not cheap plastic presliced, handmade fresh pasta instead of value packets if spaghetti and homemade jam rather than cheap supermarket stuff, good cheese chosen from my local artisan cheese shop (yes, I live in one of those villages)...plus good honey and the occasional fabulous patisserie slice of cake or cherry scone.

This summed it up perfectly from Melissa's article so thank you!

"I keep on eating as normal until something so special or so gorgeous comes along that I make a conscious decision right there on the spot that it’s worth it to indulge."