One last swing at a Whole30

[tinman57]

Yesterday afternoon I was big time flagging in motivation. This time though I was able to mentally smack myself and "carry on" opting for a grilled shrimp salad at dinner after hunting down compliant bacon and hotdogs and raw sauerkraut at my Whole Foods prior to picking up my salad and my husbands gyros.

You know, getting through those moments is pretty strengthening. The reward is mental success without having the reinforcing or negating metric of the stupid scale. Now, it's not about losing or gaining weight. It's about beating down the psychological clutter.

I may need to adopt Melissa and Dallas if I can get through this.

[tinman57]

Breakfast Whole30 style: leftover steak, avo, tomatoes, cucumber, onion, oil, balsamic vinegar. Tough old world...not.

[MeadowLily]

Tinman....you can.   I was up late, watching the snow fly....I can't wait for spring to get here.

 

I went to some club sites.  I read through, looked at the tickers, weight loss charts, graphs....read the stories. I know you can recite everything in your sleep.  My grandmother, aunts, cousins, sisters have belonged to that club.  Lifetime members.  Out of all those family members, there's not a single one who's ever graduated.  There's not one of them who's been able to maintain anything for a year.   I have a dear auntie I adore, her fave recipe is the macaroni, tuna, frozen peas, celery, and mayo one.  She's been making that since the 80's...still makes a large batch every week.  She's hooked on a feeling.  She cannot move past  GO.   She counts points.   She allows herself tiny choco covered thin mints every day for a snack....to "satisfy" the sweet cravings that have been going on for 25 years.  She eats wheat crackers and a variety of 100 calorie snacks.  Here they are just for you...sugar bombs two by two.   I can only lead by example.   I listen to her over the phone, the struggles with food addictions.  

 

She's pre-diabetic and it runs all throughout the family.  Several are gone because of full blown diabetes.   I loathe what it does to families.  Willpower won't cut it.  

 

We need a tailwind, a driving force that catapults us out of our Groundhog Day existence.   My mechanism for launching was my Whole 30 book.   I read the "We Live in a Camper" story and ordered my book.  I read my book on May 31st and started June 1st.  I didn't tell my family or friends.  My husband would raise his eyebrows...."oh, brother."  He didn't say anything for 3 months.   Now 4 months have went by and yesterday he said "this is the best thing you've ever done for yourself".

 

My auntie is coming for a visit and I can't wait to see her.  I'm not going to make any speeches at a podium or preach from my pulpit.  I secretly hopes she asks me.  I know how to whip up a Whole 30 kit in nothing flat for a present.

 

I don't look to anyone in my family for motivation.   But I used the loss of my loved ones as my launching pad for takeoff. I silently dedicated myself to them every day.   I don't struggle with chocolate, candy or 100 calore snack packs.   

 

I used Warren Miller's famous quote to kick myself into gear, because life is short.

 

“If you don’t do it this year, you’ll be one year older when you do.” – Warren Miller

[tinman57]

My husband would raise his eyebrows...."oh, brother."  He didn't say anything for 3 months.   Now 4 months have went by and yesterday he said "this is the best thing you've ever done for yourself".

 

“If you don’t do it this year, you’ll be one year older when you do.” – Warren Miller

 

 

That's worth repeating, Lily.  While I'm not past a point where I've been before on a Whole30 yet, I feel pretty strong.  I am saying this cautiously as I hate to "jinx" myself.  When I find myself doing to much self-assessment through the day, I caution myself: "You are obsessing again.  That's not how this works!  That's not how any of this works!" 

 

There's a post somewhere that I return to which is called "Don't Overthink This" and I believe it's by one of the staff for Whole30.   Sometimes we might replace one obsession (counting points/calories/exchanges) for another (making sure that not one thing passes our lips that is not compliant to the point of insane compulsion).   Remembering the psychological element of food (and diet and social situations and family etc etc so on and so on and scooby dooby doo wah) is key for my health.

 

Whether or not I'm a svelte 57 or 58 year old is really completely irrelevant.  Waiting for the "perfect time" is irrelevant.  Thinking that I might fail is completely irrelevant.  The sneaky feeling that if I don't weigh myself to check on progress I might not lose weight -- that's INSIDIOUS!!!  Hey, for a year I haven't lost weight.  I've got this down!  If not losing weight and feeling better despite that is what this is, then swell.  I like feeling better!  Feeling better is excellent. 

[MeadowLily]

Yes.  Absolutely correct.  I was thinking about that same post, too.   "That's not how any of this works"...good commercial.     I also like the one where lady is smashing hard candies on the table with a hammer.     "Level two".

 

 

http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/5580-dont-over-think-this/page-2?hl=overthink#entry107587

[MeadowLily]

"I just wanted to pop in here and remind you all to take a deep breath before you dive into all the questions about what you can and can't have. The program guidelines are clear on what you can and can't have (grains, dairy, W30 muffins), but things get a little grey when people start talking about what you should andshouldn't have. Please don't over think think this. You don't have to address every food related issue you have, break every bad habit, and shun every food that gives you comfort to succeed with your Whole30. If you need to you can always extend or repeat the process, and things will get better each time you do. My advice to you is this:

• Stick to the rules like they are your port in a storm (really, they will become that).
• Take the Moderators responses seriously (we know what we're talking about).
• Take community members suggestions as advice from those who came before, but keep in mind they are not the rules and not the Mods. Everyone here is well-meaning, and everyone here wants to see you succeed, but everyone here is at a different place in this journey.
• And finally, take comfort in these words (from Melissa Hartwig, on another forum post):

Here's the thing (and this is an interesting discussion)... there are Whole30 "rules," which are strict, clearly outlined, and very well defined. No grains - and here are all the things we consider grains. No dairy - and here are all the dairy items excluded. No Paleo-fied food choices, and here's what those look like.
Then, there are Whole30 suggestions for success. They're not part of the official rules, but they're things that we've seen really help (or harm) people as they move through the program. Fruit smoothies for breakfast - not a good idea. Skipping breakfast - not a good idea. Eating every two hours, all day - not a good idea. These things won't necessarily affect your Whole30 results (although they might), but if we can give you additional suggestions that will make your transition and your program easier and more effective, we're going to give them to you."

[tinman57]

That's the one!  Always good to remember!  Thanks!

[tinman57]

The first Friday night of this Whole 30. Success at my mini goals. But not without challenge.

Friday's I work at home when my schedule permits. My husband and I share our home office at that time. In addition to the added stress of managing remotely at times, he was in a particularly explosive situation that he was using me as a sounding board for. I absorb others' stress. It's what I do and part of why I'm successful. At one point for a period of time I was ready to chuck the Whole40 and do something, anything else.

Fortunately, I got myself in hand and said:

1. I do not want to fail this time.

2. I do not want to feel like crap.

3. Eating or drinking whatever will not alleviate the stress but, in fact, will increase it because

4. My self image and pride will suffer

So I breathed deeply and worked on getting a new perspective. Nothing I ate would help my stress. Period. Contrary to popular belief, chocolate is not medicine. Martinis are anesthesia but don't actually do anything constructive.

Anyway, I guess you could say i "kept calm and carried on."

[Aila]

Hi TinMan,

 

So great to "meet" you via a cruise through your journal.  I, too, was a serial WW member, including recently when at the encouragement of a friend decided to see if the accountability would help me, while I maintained eating paleo.  I tried to "listen through" the pitches for fake foods and all the bs you are so very familiar with re: OCD-style obsession with points, and simply could not.  But that's part of what got me back to Whole30, so there's that.

 

Have you tried Natural Calm, the magnesium drink?  I have it most evenings before bed.  It really helps with the frayed nerves and many people find it helps them sleep as well.  Martinis have a very short half-life.

 

One thing that has really helped me is that I record all the positives, both in written form and in little video clips, of how I feel when I am "eating clean."  And then when I offroad, I try to name the effects and not beat myself up about it.  One of the most significant changes for me is my energy level.  And also my inflammation, both a felt-sense and visible in my face/eyes.

 

I also really like Emily Deans' work on www.evolutionarypsychiatry.com, if that might be of interest to you.  She explores the links between Paleo practices and mental health.

 

Happy weekend!

[tinman57]

Thanks! Haven't needed assistance falling asleep yet. But you're right. Kind of the count your blessings thing.

So far,

1. Mentally, my mood is more even.

2. I have more energy.

3. Breakfasts are amazing.

.

[tinman57]

Waking up on Day 6.

Did my ab exercises after a 3 month hiatus. And need to go over to the Farmers Market later.

I think in my case that sleep is partially better because it's a sin free mind getting rest. I don't mean to sound irreverent, nut so many days of my life I spend feeling guilty about what I eat or drink or other (as we Catholics say) "sins of omission". In addition to correcting my hormones just doing something correctly that's good for me (no "it's not on the list but I'll include it anyway" games) is a boost to innocent sleep.

My father was in a dream last night (my dreams are crazy wild these days). He was a biologist and wrote some about evolution. He was way ahead of nutritionists back then. Anyway he and I had a discussion about Paleo eating. He agreed with it in principle but refused to read It Starts With Food. I then suggest he read Dr. Loren Cordain's research (that I've never read) and that seemed more amenable to him. Then a rabbit showed up.

That's how dreams work.

[tinman57]

Urp

[tinman57]

My lunch for tomorrow: gyoza without the wrapper from Well Fed 2 (Ah.may.zing) with sautéed cabbage and carrots and onions, sweet potato discs, various veggies.

[pingu]

Doing well!

[tinman57]

Day 7. Bad nights sleep last night. My typical Pre- return to work night. Could've been worse I suppose. Yesterday got rough in the afternoon. Not busy enough.

This morning. Pizza for breakfast. Egg blended with spaghetti squash, cooked up some in the, then compliant marinara and meatball on top and slipped under the broiler.

[tinman57]

One week from today I will be going to Florida for a conference.  My conference habits usually include gobs of wine and lovely meals with the breaktime snacks (granola bars are always popular). 

 

Sooooo....

 

I'm thinking of locking myself in my room and bingewatching something violent while munching on steamed shrimp, fruit and crudites.

 

More practically, I'm going to review the menus at the resort to see what's available.  Additionally, I will research the amenities to find out about treadmilly type stuff.  There is a pool.  Also, what (if anything) is at the gift shop foodwise that might be compliant.

 

I can pack carrot sticks and radishes in my luggage for veggies at breakfasts.

 

I know I will want a "relaxation" type of thing in the evening but I'm just going to have to change that thinking from a glass of wine or two to a walk around the resort and some herbal tea (*note to self: Sleepytime needs to get packed). 

 

Wonder if I can get that Relax/Calming thing mentioned by someone else above in time.  Amazon PRIME????

 

I'm not looking for advice...just rambling right now because my head is all stressed out from meetings and this is positive and constructive (as opposed to meetings).

 

Not feeling the tiger blood yet!

 

[tinman57]

Tough time falling asleep last night. Work has me a bit of edge. I actually did fall asleep well, but trn minutes later my cat was doing her page flipping thing on a book on the nightstand and that awoke me. It took me sometime to fall back asleep.

I found myself frustrated and felt myself saying "what the hell? Just quit this stoopid whole30 thing. It's not working."

I realized I was being a petulant ass. Mentally kicked my butt, rolled over and fell asleep. After that the sleep was intense.

So...Day 8. Keep calm and carry on. Another full day of tense meetings. That hotel room next week is looking goooooood. I ordered the Natural Calm product yesterday (thanks for the tip!) and we will see how that goes.

4. I have a dark spot on one arm and a hand. Are they lightening?

[tinman57]

Day nine today.  I find I have a real period of doubt and weakness around the 3:00 timeframe each afternoon, regardless of whether or not I am at work.  So that's one to keep in mind.

 

Went for a run yesterday (well, a trot) and did (I think) better than I had.   Considering I had underestimated the temperature and hadn't bother to check, I didn't pass out. 

 

Meetings all week cause me to have such swings of emotions with a soupcon of stress.

 

Still holding good to Whole30 but I do find myself to be missing wine, hummus, dark chocolate and so forth.  Guess that's just indicative of somethings I need to re-evaluate my relationships with. 

 

My husband finally noticed the countdown calendar on the refrigerator.  That took less than a week.  He said "You're only 6 days in?"  I said, "Count again.  There are 7 marks and I'm adding another."  He said "You can't do that until you go to bed."

 

He was joking around but at that moment in time, I really considered biffing him with a roll of paper towels.

 

Now: good news.  I slept like a log last night.  I still got up around 2 to use the bathroom and still had some sweats but I slept through those.  Nothing is going to change those so if I can sleep through them?  I'm good.  Soggy but good.  The sleep may have been my reward for the 2 nights preceding which were NOT particularly good.  So I'm being cautious here in proclaiming any victories. 

 

It is easy for me to imagine that certain things are changing for the better but I don't think that's terribly useful.  I need to wait it out and see truly what at the end of the period actually has changed rather than shouting "Oh yay, I've just cured dandruff!" or things like that.

 

 

[lelani]

Thinking too hard is a problem for sure, By the way Happy Birthday.  I love Mark Sisson.  Started with Atkins when I was 13, been overweight all my life.  Became a type 2 diabetic when I was 13,  Having said that I am 57 now as well.  have managed not to weigh 800 lbs over the years.  My total carb level to maintain weight is 30, I can loose at 20carbs.  Stupidly low and hard to manage which is why I am where I am.  I have eaten this way for years, however 8 month ago I went mostly dairy free.  hard.  But accomplished everything but butter.  I have been wheat and white sugar free for over 10 years.  In the last four years I have become healthier and have normal blood pressure, cholesterol etc etc.  I have never become a type 1 diabetic because of diet.  My point is.  I take no medication and only did for a short time when my blood pressure went up to 187 over 100.  That was 4 years ago,

 

When I saw this eat for Health Plan I only had to cut out rye crisps, (my answer to bread), maple syrup and butter.  Easy Peasy for me.  So I am on day 7 today, Had a rough physical and mental (depression mostly) week, But today is good,  I know I will succeed at this and so will you.  So Hang in there and let nothing stop you,  You can do this for sure, you have to want it bad enough.  No Medication is truly a great goal.  It is mine as well and I have already accomplished this.  Any way I am rambling, sorry.  Do it, Do it Do it.  Bye for now. 

[tinman57]

Ramble away, Lelani.  I ramble as much as the next person.  Sometimes it takes rambling to form a coherent thought for me.

 

Anyway: I have finally been released from a meeting  (purgatory) and am back at my desk.  I begin to think about chocolate and a nice creamy cup of tea.  I glance at the time and, sure enough, it's 3:30.  Every darned afternoon!  GROWL!  I'm not hungry: it's boredom, stress, fatigue.  (HALT)

 

*drinking water*

[tinman57]

Day 10 today.  I'm feeling pretty good.  That's never a good sign.    I get "cocky" and start to mess around.  HOWEVER,

I made a nice little breakfast (grated sweet potatoes into two "patties" with an egg in between).  It wasn't wonderfully pretty but it was fine.  (Veggies on the side of course).

 

Tried the Natural Calm product last night.  Whether it was that or utter exhaustion I slept well.  Still had to get up to use the bathroom, still had night sweats but I think the quality of sleep in between was strong.  Falling asleep was a cinch and falling back to sleep was not a problem. 

 

A run is scheduled at lunch today and, since the weather has cooled off all the way to the 80s, that should be loverly.

 

Tomorrow and this weekend I will be getting ready for my travel.  That means: packing a Whole30 bento for Monday, packing some veggies in my suitcase for "enhancing" breakfasts and dinners, etc.  And of course, doing laundry.

 

I'm fairly proud that, at the end of this day, I will be 1/3 of the way through.

[tinman57]

Day 11. Woot!

Last night my husband suggested pizza for dinner tonight. This after I explicitly said last week that we could almost anywhere and I could work it out. EXCEPT pizza.

So much for the short term memory. I love the man but sometimes... He was very gracious though after I said that pizza was it in my life for twenty more days at least.

More importantly, I began to feel guilty and contemplating saying okay to pizza....when I realized I did not want to have pizza at this point. Period.

Success moment.

[Aila]

Hi TinMan!

 

YAY for 1/3 of the way there!  YAY for success moments!

 

Glad to know that the Natural Calm seemed to have some positive effects for you.  I have it most evenings.  

 

Maybe suggest to your husband the kinds of restaurants that are likely to have options you *can* eat?  I'm finding that most places do - even some pizza places will have good salad options.  I usually check the menu ahead of time to be sure.

 

Your brekkie sounds yummy, I have been wanting to try a sweet potato hash-type thing with eggs, and I like your breakfast sandwich version.

 

Happy, healthy travels!

[tinman57]

Yup.  He's got the list of allowed stuff and we've spoken about restaurant alternatives.  He's just using the Male Selective Memory gene (MSM).

 

Thanks!

[tinman57]

3:30 in the morning on a Saturday. This is annoying.

 

We ended up staying in for dinner last night as he was feeling under the weather.  So dodged that bullet. Unfortunately, though I stayed compliant I woke up around 2 this morning ravenous.  I had had an asparagus frittata with some fruit and nuts afterward but  that hasn't cut it.

 

Oh well.  Best laid plans and all that. 

 

Today is Day 12.

 

No miracles to report but then

a) it's only day 12

I'm pretty much healthy anyway so changes would be subtle

c) I need to remember my mood is more even (this is NOT a subtle change)

d) I have more focus/energy

e) This is a definite milestone: I am pleased that i have stuck with this for 11 full days with no "concessions" as I have done in hte past. I am not inclined to quit.  Though I am having some trouble being inspired about food (see asparagus frittata dinner note).  I brought some shrimp out for breakfast this morning.  There's a salt and pepper shrimp recipe from Just Bento that's pretty good but I admit to recognizing that I might just be wavering in the creativity department.  Sadly, as I am leaving on a jet plane in two mornings for most of the week, whipping up something wonderful from Well Fed or Nom Nom Paleo really isn't on the schedule.  No point to doing it.