Did you find yourself sweeter and kinder after Whole30 reintro?

[MeadowLily]

http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/adult-sibling-estrangement/

When multi-crap hits the fan. 

To Break Up—or Make Up?

"Completely cutting off a sibling, regardless of how much it may be deserved, has serious ramifications, Safer says. Those who initiate estrangement often feel deep regret later. “We have our parents for 30 to 50 years, but we have siblings for 50 to 80 years,” she says. “This is the only person who remembers your childhood, and you have nothing to say to them? It’s tragic.”

All the people interviewed for this story say they would reconcile—if their siblings apologized and were willing to start fresh."

[MeadowLily]

 

"Rivalry between siblings is not only common but is perfectly natural. It comes from human nature that we are inevitably competitive and want the best for ourselves. Sibling rivalry can be seen as a healthy way of laying claims on your parents, just as a certain amount of jealous possessiveness between a husband and wife is a good way of keeping off outsiders.

If the relationship with the parents is poor, siblings are likely to be allies: a certain amount of rivalry between siblings is a sign that parents are worth competing for."

 

[MeadowLily]

"The older you get, the harder it can be to deal with family. When you are young, you either get along swimmingly with your brothers and sisters, or you fight with each other constantly. It's all very cut and dry. But as time passes, you grow further apart, you start your own lives, and it  gets more complicated. If they are a person who is fueled by drama-seeking, jealousy, and pettiness, having to face them at family events can be a terrible situation. You dread it, still somehow hope they've changed, and feel the wave of disappointment wash over when you realize they haven't changed at all.

But there are ways to handle these scenarios. Remember, this goes above average sibling rivalry. It is imperative that you resist the urge to emerge victorious, because this is not about winning. At any rate, trying to beat them at their own game — regardless of whether or not you are related — will only make you feel worse in the end, not better."

[MeadowLily]

Bite your tongue

It can be tempting to want to say the first thing that pops into your mind, especially when you feel like you're on the defense. Take  time to think about what you want to communicate. When they start trying to push your buttons, it's best to just zip that lip. You don't want to say something that you will regret, and you also don't want to provoke them further.

[MeadowLily]

"If the disrespect continues, there will come a point when you must stand up for yourself. And it doesn't take much to do that. A simple, "You know what? I'm sick of your attitude," will do.

Minimize contact

If you know your sibling will likely start to pick a fight with you, avoid sitting next to them, being alone with them, or going on vacations with them, if at all possible. Sometimes, you won't be able to accomplish this, because they are family, so just do what you can to keep the contact restricted.

Walk away

Nothing bothers a bully quite like being ignored.  Remove yourself from the bully vibes and mean comments by just leaving the room.

People who try to get under your skin want to see you mad. It replenishes their bully electrolytes.

If your sibling is doing this to you, do the opposite. Tell them you love them. Give them a compliment. It'll throw them off their game entirely, and will give you a few moments of quiet.

Embrace your Friends

Your best friends are the family you choose, which means they are possibly more caring and loving than the family you were given, simply because you've hand-picked them, so they must be pretty wonderful."

[MeadowLily]

The Hot System = Impulsive, immediate gratification

The Cool System = The Thinking System

 

[MeadowLily]

The cool system is cognitive in nature. It’s essentially a thinking system, incorporating knowledge about sensations, feelings, actions and goals — reminding yourself why you shouldn’t eat the marshmallow or box someone's ears. 

While the cool system is reflective, the hot system is impulsive and emotional. The hot system is responsible for quick, reflexive responses to certain triggers — such as popping the marshmallow into your mouth without considering the long-term implications.

[MeadowLily]

It Ain't My Fault

[MeadowLily]

The Hot System = Impulsive, immediate gratification

The Cool System = The Thinking System

Why eliminate beans.  Why eliminate bread. Why eliminate your sibs.

If you're going through hail keep on going.

But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street

Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet

The one's that you've been dragging for so long

You're on your knees...you might as well be praying

Guess what I'm saying

If you're going through hail

Keep on going

Don't slow down

If you're scared, don't show it

You might get out....

Keep on moving. Face that fire.

Walk right through it.

 

[MeadowLily]

Do you remember GORP? Many think it means good old fashioned raisins and peanuts. That is a backronym. It doesn't mean that. Some think it means granola, oats, raisins and peanuts. It doesn't mean that either because granola is made of oats. Some think it means granola, oil, raisins and peanuts.

Gorp means to eat greedily. 

It became the mountaineer/hiker/climber's trail mix. Granola, raisins, m&m's, chocolate chips, peanuts, seeds, dried fruit and other nuts.

The old english term is to gawp up. Devour greedily and speedily.

Regardless. It's basically multi-crap that makes you feel tapped out. Gorp is a deluxe insulin excursion for you and and bears. If you're backpacking light, don't take Gorp along for the hike. Grizzly bears can peel the tops off of tuna cans in the blink of an eye...without those handy-dandy pull-off tabs.

Peanut butter, honey and Gorp for the trail. Bananas/chips, dried fruits and nuts. Beef jerky and meat sticks. A grizzly's sense of smell is 100x greater than a human's. They can zero in on your food sources when they're more than a mile away from you.

This time of year, there's still snow everywhere and they're hungry. Those finely tuned snacks are a blinking neon light at the end of the tunnel. They can run 45 mph. Most sightings are at dawn and dusk. Hike in groups of 2 or 3, going alone this time of year increases the odds of an encounter. Don't offer them a food handout and make noise. Stay alert. Carry your spray. 

[MeadowLily]

The Hot System = Impulsive, immediate gratification

The Cool System = The Thinking System

I went back over to the Vet's office to see the therapy dog. The dog talked to me and immediately wooled me around.

A Vet has a better bedside manner than most others because they deal with creatures. You can't pull the wool over an animal's eyes. They understand love and compassion.

I can't think of any good reasons to feel sorry for yourself. It makes matters worse.

The heart that is continually watered by self-pity turns into stone. Incapable of finding love and compassion. Always building the case to keep the offenses going.

Agreeing to keep the self-pity fires burning only ensures that they will be with you tomorrow. 

Now, it's true. The therapy dog is treating me better than my sibs but the only thing that grows from self-pity is more bitter fruit. The past is gone and in order to keep cultivating hard feelings, you have to keep adding to them.  Like your sourdough starter, feeding that beast...every single day.

Regardless of how painful words can be, suffering the slings and arrows of bullies - we have the power to keep walking into the sunlight. Living in self-pity only opens the doors for more compromising states.

I'm not going out like that.  

I will cling to my faith and the therapy dog. Allowing a spirit of grief and self-pity to overtake you can wipe out and sweep through a family. For everything there is a season and a time to every purpose. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance.

We've got to find a way to bring some lovin' here today.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

[MeadowLily]

[MeadowLily]

http://fodmapliving.com/high-fructose-corn-syrup-free/

• Many baked goods, including English muffins, rolls and white and whole wheat bread contain high fructose corn syrup. The syrup helps baked good achieve a brown crust and retain moisture.
•  
• Processed foods such as lunch meats, dinner sausage, macaroni and cheese, boxed meals, packaged lunch meals and other processed foods contain the syrup because it is inexpensive and provides a long shelf life.

• Many yogurt brands contain high fructose corn syrup. Even flavors or yogurt lines that are called “all natural” and “organic” contain high fructose corn syrup.
•  
• When you purchase a burger at a fast food restaurant, you are often asked if you would like fries as well.  You are not asked if you want high-fructose corn syrup. According to a list of ingredients compliled -  the bun and the majority of the available sauces, including ketchup, contain high-fructose corn syrup. 

http://fodmapliving.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Stanford-University-Low-FODMAP-Diet-Handout.pdf

[MeadowLily]

High Fructose Corn Syrup =  Fatty Liver Disease

Fatty Liver Disease, Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease, NAFLD is a major risk factor for cancer, heart attacks and diabetes.

NAFLD = Liver is full of fat. A major cause of inflammation and  chronic diseases in the body.

"In order to make foie gras, ducks or geese are force-­‐fed sugar in the form of corn and starch—a sad practice. In the body, this sugar turns on a fat-­‐production factory in the liver, a process known as lipogenesis, which is the body’s normal response to sugar.  Fructose actually ramps up the lipogenesis  response.

The high fructose corn syrup found in our processed foods is the single biggest cause of fatty liver. Soda is the number one source of calories in the American diet. The biggest cause of fatty liver."

[MeadowLily]

"Fatty liver creates a whole cascade of issues. It causes inflammation in your body. This inflammation creates insulin resistance and pre-­‐diabetes, which causes your body to deposit fat not just in your liver but also all around your organs and in your belly.

That dangerous belly fat caused by the sugar and starch in your diet then creates even more problems. It causes you to have high triglycerides and low HDL, the good cholesterol. It causes you to have small LDL, the dangerous cholesterol particles that cause heart attacks.

In fact, having a fatty liver puts you at great risk for having a heart attack, and most people have no idea they have it. 

We see 12-­year-­old boys who have lived on soda for years needing liver transplants from fatty liver. We really need to think about what we are doing to our children by feeding them these toxic substances.

When you have a fatty liver, you need to think about the damage it’s causing. You don’t want to end up with a liver transplant. You don’t want to end up needing to be on medications to fix the complications of a fatty liver like high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and abnormal cholesterol."

You want to get to the root of the problem.

[MeadowLily]

How To Fix Your Fatty Liver

1. Cut out all high fructose corn syrup from your diet. If you see it on any label for any product—whether it’s a salad dressing or ketchup or tomato sauce—don’t eat it. Think about it: most servings of tomato sauce that you buy in a jar have more sugar than a serving of Oreo cookies. Get rid of all that high fructose corn syrup from your diet, 100 percent, no exceptions.
2. Reduce or eliminate starch. Get rid of white, processed flour. Even whole grain flours can be a problem. It’s common to find too much of these starchy foods in the classic American diet, or what we call the SAD (Standard American Diet). All of those things will promote a fatty liver. You may be surprised to learn that it’s actually not fat that causes a fatty liver. It’s sugar. 
3. Add some good things to your diet to help heal your fatty liver. Add plenty of fruit, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. Add lean animal protein like chicken and fish. Add good oils like olive oil, macadamia nut oil, avocados, coconut butter, and fish oil. Good fats like these are anti-­‐inflammatory, and they help repair your liver.
4. Improve your metabolism through exercise. This is a fabulous way to improve insulin resistance and reduce fatty liver.
5. Eat detoxifying liver-­repairing super foods. Focus on the broccoli family. I love this family of foods, and I try to have at least a cup or two every day. Kale, collards, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, arugula, daikon radish—all wonderful foods that help repair and heal your liver. Garlic and onions, also, are full of sulfur, which is a great detoxifier.

You don’t want a fatty liver.   Mark Hyman, MD

[MeadowLily]

If you have alcoholic liver disease and you are a heavy drinker, quitting is the most important thing you can do. Talk to your doctor about how to get help. If you don't stop you could get complications like alcoholic cirrhosis.

Even if you have nonalcoholic fatty liver disease,  avoid drinking. If you are overweight or obese, do what you can to gradually lose weight -- no more than 1 pound a week.

Limit high-carb foods such as bread, grits, rice, potatoes, and corn.  Cut out drinks with lots of sugar like sports drinks and juice.

Trying to avoid diabetes but still drinking hard alcohol every day -whiskey, gin, tequila, rum - scars your liver.  When that happens, fluid builds in your body, muscle wasting, internal bleeding, jaundice and liver failure.

You only have one liver and pancreas, when they're gone, it's over.

[MeadowLily]

Sugar

Too much sugar isn’t just bad for your teeth. It harms your liver, too. The liver uses one type of sugar, called fructose, to make fat.

Too much refined sugar and high-fructose corn syrup causes a fatty buildup that can lead to liver disease. Sugar can be as damaging to the liver as alcohol, even if you’re not overweight. It’s one more reason to limit foods with added sugars, such as soda, pastries, and candy.

 

[MeadowLily]

 

 

[MeadowLily]

The Hot System = Impulsive, immediate gratification

The Cool System = The Thinking System

 

Pile of Denial

The Pile of Denial = A very selective memory about the reality you accept

The Pile of Denial - Just another face of fear wrapped in a cozy blanket of denial

The Pile of Denial - If you keep doing what you've always done you will get what what you've always gotten. Making massive excuses and rationalization and continuing to look away from financial denial, chronic shopping with money that you don't have.

Food addiction or a drinking problem. 

Denial piles stacked to the ceiling. Hoarding or avoiding paying the bills.

 

Piles of denial come in all forms. Digging your way out of deeper holes...just a bit more dirt and you'll be out of there.  You can't wear a smile when your troubles end up in a pile. It's going to take awhile to realize you're living in a pile of denial.

Sit down with someone. Face-to-Face.

[MeadowLily]

Piles of Denial

Piles of Denial are the clothes you throw on your bed that you don't feel like hanging UP. 

The huge cable sweater you knitted for someone that ended up looking like a pile of denial and multi-crap. Tear that thing apart.

The closets that need cleaning and the storage units that need pruning. The noble piles of relatives sitting together who don't want to be in the same room. 

Piles of regret and unspoken words. Serious rebukes, piles of memories, tears of denial and separation. Piles of sorrow and potshots taken from across the bow.

Piles of Denial.          Happy Families.  

 

[MeadowLily]

Extending the olive branch

It is the season of olive branches. Peacemaking gestures. Olive branches are pledges of goodwill. They are pledges by one party to pursue reconciliation with another. Olive branches are needed where there is conflict but a desire for peace. 

To hold out the branch is to make an offer and to receive it is to accept. We made a wonderful prime rib dinner for everyone. Cooked to perfection. 

Say what you mean but don't say it mean.

I always get in trouble for saying what's on everyone's mind...oh, well.  

And remember. Felicias. If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. If you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

The effects of the stress hormone cortisol, which can weaken the immune system, are balanced by the DHEA hormone which bolsters neutrophils. Around age 30, DHEA levels drop, leaving immune systems vulnerable to cortisol's influence during times of constant stress and great stress.

Prolonged mourning and grief can get inside of the body - increasing blood pressure and affecting overall health. I've read the JAMA stats about risks in the week following, four weeks out and so on.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/09/understanding-how-grief-weakens-the-body/380006/

This is why the good Dr. took me aside and said, do not fall apart in front of your loved ones.  It doesn't do a thing for their health.  Get in your car and go cry on your own time.

I get that.

Shuddering, bawling and falling apart at the seams cannot possibly help someone who is in a weakened condition. The good Dr. told me it was actually selfish to do that to someone.  Fear is contagious. Fear, grief, mourning and cortisol stress influence...you have got to keep it together for your folkaronies.

Our mission is to hold them UP and give them a reason to go on. We are bent on survival. Do not take that away from anyone.  Speak life into their life.

Do not prognosticate the alternatives. It's not our place to do that. No one is qualified to prognosticate anything other than hope and wellness and peace.

The good Dr. that I know has always, always spoken life into life. Even if you work in hospice, patients will ask you what they want to know.

Don't offer up your think so's.  

Someone came up to me from hospice and said I've always struggled with what I should say.  

I said...It's not your struggle.  You have nothing invested into that person.  They will ask you what they want to know. Until then, speak life into their life. Always.

It's easy to be a flatliner about someone else's life when you have absolutely nothing invested into it. You can be blunt, rub your hands together and walk away.  Done.  Black and white, lay it all out there on the line.

That brings fear into an entire family and it does nothing for the survivors.  Nothing.  So measure your words and use a great deal of discernment.

Don't pat yourself on the back thinking that you've done everyone a favor by telling them the worst possible things and prognosticating the end of someone's life. It's not your job and it's way above your payscale.

Speak life unto their life.  Always. Always. Always.

Give them hope. When it's time to cross the great divide, help usher them there with beautiful words of encouragement.

Be very, very careful what you say. They can hear you.  Right until the very end.  Their spirit is still on this side and they are very present.  Tell them how much you love them and speak life, life, life unto life.  Life begets life.

Even if you have just met someone for the very first time in an intensive care setting, invest life into that person. Think of them as yours and how you would want someone who belonged to you to be treated.  With the greatest of compassion, dignity and hope.  That's your job and my job.

If you can't invest your best into someone's life, you are in the wrong profession. Not suited for lessening suffering and pain. It takes special people who give of themselves every single day.  Angels of mercy, they are.

Fear can bring on things like a wildfire.  You cannot go there.

Stay strong. I rely on my faith when I am weak. Get in your car and cry on your own time.  While you're on the clock, being paid for a job...give all of your attention to your job. A doubleminded person avails nothing.

Give it your all. Regardless if you're getting paid for it. There's always someone watching what you do while you're on the job.  Stay focused. Don't take your eye off the wheel.

 

 

[MeadowLily]

The Hot System = Impulsive, immediate gratification

The Cool System = The Thinking System

 

Peppermint Oil:

They say that peppermint oil fixes everything from muscle aches and pains to hormones. Natural bug repellent - spiders don't like peppermint, colic, teething, nausea, reduces teeth cavitities, bloating, indigestion. Improves your shampoo and scalp - make your own rosemary and mint shampoo. Sunburn relief and a natural curber of food cravings. Use it in a diffuser. A couple of drops on your chest or temples or take direct whiffs from the essential oil bottle. Food grade - a few drops on the tongue or put it in your teas.