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I have binge eating tendencies- looking for support


ejulian

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Hello!

Let me give a brief bit of history about myself: 33, paleoish since spring 2013, 2 Whole30s completed, & that's how I eat most of the time, with the exception of occasional "paleo treats" or fruit as dessert when I'm not Whole30ing!

I began a weight loss journey in the summer of 2012, the first time I really counted calories. I'd been a vegetarian for over a decade at that point, and I lost about 40 pounds through running & restricting what I ate.

Unfortunately, I think that the "dieting" left me with a restriction mindset that leads me to binge eat... I probably don't do it often enough or intensely enough to qualify as having BED, but it's a problem for ME. I've been reading Brain Over Binge & a lot of it really resonates with me.

Here's my question, then, and I hope this is the right place to ask it... is there anyone out there in a similar situation, or who's been through a similar situation, who would like to buddy up with me to offer support to each other?? I've resolved to make this new month the time when I really turn things around for myself, and having a friend to go to for ideas, encouragement, and accountability would be awesome!

Thanks for reading :-)

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The best way to find answers is to search Google.com "whole binge eating" or something like that. Alsmost every question you can think of has been answered on the whole30 forum. It won't let me post the results of my search on this forum. Good Luck!

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It sounds like you already have a great deal of insight into the issues you are facing - I particularly agree with the bit about a restriction mindset.  Kudos.

 

I can relate to what you are saying.  I went on my first restrictive diet at age 18 and have either been in the process of losing weight or slowly gaining weight (sometimes binge eating, always obsessing over food, huge sugar cravings) ever since.  I am now 35 - that is a lot of years of body hatred, restriction, punishment, etc. I gained and lost the same 30-40 lbs so many times. I could go on and on about this, but I'll leave it at that for now.

 

I first tried "primal" in 2009 and since then have done 3 whole30's and 3 21dsd's.  Each time I did them I had a focus on weight loss and spent a lot of time thinking about how much better life would be if I just lost that weight.  Through all of this there are things I put off until I was smaller, things I waited for.

 

About 8 months ago, with the help of a therapist, I begun to realize how negative this thinking was and how much of my energy it was taking to obsess about it.  I slowly began to see that I could like my body, make peace with my body, just as it was.  How much I weigh shouldn't be linked to how much I like myself, to my value in the world.  It isn't a moral issue.  It doesn't determine my worth.  So that kind of thinking slowly started to seep in . . .very slowly.  I am still fighting off those thought patterns, to be honest.

 

About 4 months ago I decided that I would get back to paleo - but for different reasons this time.  My focus shifted to breaking free from sugar addiction - because it was making me nuts, making me sick, making me exhausted - not because it was making me gain fat.  I took a leap of faith - that I would eat in a way that felt sustainable and that I would commit to long term, and my weight would sort itself out. It wasn't a 30 day thing, it was long term, and I was worth it. I posted about it a few times in these forums (should show up in a search if you're interested :) - basically paleo + some dairy, absolutely no sweeteners) and since then it has gone well.  It feels like a choice, not restriction, which is a huge change for me.  Something finally clicked.  While I still have a long way to go, I no longer obsess over food or binge eat. There are times I have to remind myself to eat (WHAT?!?).  I rarely eat past full because it feels weird to, but even when I do, I don't beat myself up.  Why would I?  It's just food.  I've lost weight but I have no idea how much and don't really care.  If I don't lose any more I'm cool with that.  If I do, well, bonus.  I just can't fight with myself anymore.

 

In the last month or two I have been reading lots about body acceptance and its link to our relationship with food.  The stuff I've read argues that body hatred leads directly to binge eating and continues cyclically.  I think you might find it interesting.  People like inmyskinnygenes, Isabel Foxen Duke, Summer Innannen (of whole30 canada, on her own blog http://summerinnanen.com/), and many others have lots of cool stuff to say.  That kind of thinking paired with paleo eating (well, plus dairy - ya'll can pry my cream, greek yogurt, and cheese from my cold, dead, hands, lol) has been life changing.  I still struggle with emotional eating, but it is getting better.  I haven't had sugar/sweeteners in 4 months and haven't felt deprived (again, WHAT?!?).  

 

I'm always up for discussions/threads about these kinds of issues.  I think these kinds of issues are so important to explore because eating paleo is only part of the equation, in my opinion.

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I'm a big binger too, it sucks to feel out of control and so disappointed in yourself. I try to have healthy things in bowls in my fridge like cherries, green beans, starwberries.. that way when I obsessively open the fridge I see my strategy and it's like I called myself out and put out a solution.. if that makes any sense. So then I grab a drink of water and maybe 3 cherries, and then I laugh at myself and close the fridge.

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Hugs to you, ejulian. I can really relate to the "restriction mindset". I struggled with pretty severe anorexia for about 15 years, and 4 years into (relative) recovery, at a healthy weight, I still can't seem to shake the feeling that I need a little something more after every time I eat, no matter how full I am physically. Pre-Whole30, this "little something" equated to dessert (quitting that habit was one of my reasons for doing a Whole30 in the first place). My strategy right now is to be sure to eat enough "real food" (non-dessert stuff) at mealtimes, possibly even too much, so I can break this cycle of always feeling peckish. 

 

Feel free to PM me if you need support :)

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If you haven't already I would advocate you reading "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.  I have been a binger all my life.  I lost the urge twice in my life.  The first one I put it down to the fact that I was doing a Whole 30 at the time but looking back I know that it was the absence of self criticism.  I had just left my husband and as scary as being alone was it was better than the alternative.  The second one came as a result of reading the book.

 

I haven't binged in 6 weeks.  In that time I have lost my job, had my kids around full time and lived through my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer.

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I have had a history of binge eating disorder and it has taken over the past 6 years of my life. I have recently changed my mindset and accepted that I have this disorder and it has been mentally freeing. I counseled with my diet coach who was a previous alcoholic, and he pointed out that addiction is addiction is addiction. You will not "beat it" but you can keep it at bay by avoiding the foods you know cause you to lose control of your mind and binge and hate yourself. It is not restriction, it is a choice to accept the fact that you are better off without certain foods, and that there is no physical need to eat them in the first place. For those who have done a whole30, you can tell how much different eating real food feels, and so anything outside of this really has no need to be eaten in the first place. You have to accept that for YOU, certain foods are never worth eating. This is not restriction, this is freedom from the lie that you can control yourself or have "just a bite." Another thing that was huge for me was realizing that despite seeing other people eat certain foods in moderation, I know for me I can not. Accepting this and living with it is life changing.

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Jessica Ortner has a book called The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence.  Tapping is a great solution for taking away the urgency of a craving and even replacing it with self acceptance.  Tapping is free and there is much success with it in many facets of life.  As an MFT, I use it a lot with clients. 

 

Laura, I love the Louise Hay book/video....she's a phenomenal woman!!

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It is so wonderful & affirming to read all your responses- thank you; I am filled with gratitude. I especially like that it seems as though different people have found different & still successful ways to deal with this complicated relationship so many of us have with food... I didn't realize until about a year ago how very, very far I am from being alone in having a fraught relationship with the very stuff that nourishes me.

Last month, after beginning to read Brain Over Binge, I vowed that July would be my month of INDEPENDENCE from feeling controlled by food. Most of the month went pretty well, until the end, and I had a rough week there. This month I'm trying again- the difference being that I'm not logging everything on MyFitnessPal this time. I'm trying to really listen to my body & eat when I'm hungry, not when I'm not. I'm sticking mostly to Whole30 principles of eating, but not sweating it too much. I want to be relaxed about this & make it easy for myself! I'd love to continue to hear about other folks' journeys, struggles, and successes!

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I'd love some feedback about a question I've been turning over in my head for a little bit... I'm trying to come to grips & get control of my binge tendencies. Is a Whole30 and all its accompanying restriction a good idea or no?? Having done 2, I can say that I don't usually find the guidelines to be a problem. I wonder, however, if putting myself in "restriction" mode will help or hurt.

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I would say that's a question that only you can answer. If you've done 2 Whole30s already and "usually" have not encountered any problems, you're likely good to go (though by "usually", do you mean "never" or "sometimes"?). Some people thrive on the cold turkey approach; maybe you're one of them.

 

Personally, I determined that all-or-nothing is best for me right now by experimenting with allowing little things in after my first Whole30 like almond milk lattes (most coffee shops use sweetened almond milk that likely contains carrageenan) and dried fruit (compliant, but still feeds my sugar dragon). One thing led to another, and pretty soon I was snacking on the sugary gummy vitamin samples we have kicking around at the supplement store I work in! Now I know that if I give an inch, my brain will take a mile.

 

I guess the bottom line is that if you feel less stressed and more in control of your food choices on a Whole30, keep it up! But if it's stressing you out more and you find yourself obsessing over food in the midst of so many restrictions, maybe this approach is not the best thing for you right now. Also - don't overthink it  ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

I had been doing well & making progress against the binge urge, but this week has been full of stress, turmoil, emotional upset, not enough sleep, and terrible backsliding. So I'm committing to a Whole7 starting today, right now... until I can come up with my own effective set of guidelines for eating, I think I need someone else's!

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I'm prone to binges also.  The first big 'help' was Geneen Roth's book "Breaking free from compulsive eating" (Or something like that.)  It really helped me identify what I was doing and become more self-aware.

 

The other big help was doing a whole30 and realizing that even though I was mostly paleo, I was still a big sugar addict.  Now that I eat very little sugar and sweet stuff, my binges are almost non-existent.  I still have sugar cravings, but not as bad as they used to be and I can deal with them without leaping off the wagon and landing right on my head!

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