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Dreaming Big


cmschmitty

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My first Whole30 attempt was a year and a half ago and it went really well.  When I faced moving, I grew weary of the meal planning and concentration to continue making healthy food choices and settled for convenience.  This unraveled into pacifying emotions and a return of all my unhealthy food habits...and weight.  I remember one night, watching myself put food into my face that I thought I wanted knowing that even though it was easy and I was tired, I certainly did not deserve to feel cheapened and weakened by laziness.  During that transition I needed healthy foods and structure of a good menu more than ever.  

 

There were 2 other attempts to start again.  They fizzled so quickly.  I felt like I was in a well, clawing to get out and having nothing or no one to help me get out.  I was alone. Surrounded by years of bad choices.  A mind telling me that this will always be my life.  Shame.  Shame for my lack of strength and shame for my body.

 

But I'm not content with that place or that way of thinking.  Those shame based thoughts and voices do not hold truth.  The truth is I am not a mistake. I am a valuable person. I don't have to do this on my own to prove that I'm a better person. There is strength in trusting others and allowing them to be a part of my journey.  I am capable of making this change and maintaining it.  More than iced double tall coconut lattes or Lofthouse sugar cookies, I deserve real food, real energy, and real health.  

 

Here I am a week into this round of Whole30.  No cheats!  I'm not in the well.  I am in the sunshine enjoying good food, really good food, and the health and pride that comes with it.  Success is not in blind compliance, but the change occurring in the food that I choose one meal at a time.  I have had 22 successful meals!  They have brought me stable energy, fulfilling flavor, and satisfaction in caring for myself.  Way to go, girl!  You are a rockstar! 

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