tessita86 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Hello friends, I'm scanning through forum posts and entries from fellow whole30 enthusiasts and feeling an overwhelming plethora of mixed emotions. Sadness, defeat, inspiration, motivation, hopefulness, discouragement, and the opposite...encouragement. I started my Whole30 with a bang, convinced that the only tool I would need would be the daily email subscription and an iron will. I was wrong. I white-knuckled and withstood the withdrawals and the mood swings in the beginning, along with the cravings and the detox shakiness and unease. I read my daily emails and rejoiced at days end that I had made it through another 24 hour period successfully....stubbornly discarding the suggestions of writing down my goals, building a support system online and around me and keeping my reasons for starting the program handy. On day 10 I battled strong cravings and refused to reach out, convincing myself I could muscle my way through it alone...which was my first mistake. What started with a venture into "yellow" foods like dried fruit, nut butter and coconut quickly morphed into a full on sugar fiasco-which lasted a period of about 12 hours. Once I realized I had crossed the line too much to still consider myself loyal to the whole30 program, I was off and running. With a get-it-all-in-while-you-can mentality, I did some serious damage to my emotional and psychological well-being as well as my hormonal stability. I stumbled into bed that night feeling like a failure and haunted by the pangs of defeat and self-deprecating hopelessness. Scanning my foggy brain frantically searching for the moment where I messed up, blew it, went wrong...failed. I scrolled through blog entries and forum posts until my eyes hurt until finally it hit me. I stumbled...and fell. I made some poor choices, and I have to start over. But this is a chance to practice the "resiliency" they talk about. The strength it takes to get back up, dust yourself off, and start over again. Review what happened, how I can be better prepared next time, and what needs to change because after all...if nothing changes, nothing changes. So I didn't make it through 30 days, I made 10!! what an accomplishment! the only tragedy in this situation would be if I chose to sweep it under the rug and not learn anything from it..otherwise, I view it as a beautiful opportunity. That was two days ago....back on the program ever since. Here is what I plan to change: 1. take the suggestions they provide in the daily emails of writing down goals, etc 2. re-focus my brain to remember I'm doing this for more than just to lose a few pounds 3. build a community of like-minded individuals who know what I'm experiencing and are here for support 4.keep my goals and motivation handy at all times...i.e. in my phone, pocket, purse, kleenex box, etc so I can reference it when questioning my motives 5. remember this is a journey, and there is absolutely no such thing as perfect here or anywhere. My best is good enough. 6. remember that my self worth is much much more than the food I eat and the amount of calories I consume. 7. Have fun with it, and remain positive no matter what. 8. log food and update posts daily 9. Practice patience. So this is the start of a new day...food post and update to be entered tonight. If anyone needs support or doesn't want to do this alone...I'm here. Thanks for reading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derval Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Great plan of action, love your bullet points. You can do this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcrady57 Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 What a powerful restart! Congratulations on being able to admit your fall and analyze what happened; sounds to me like you're prepared to come back strong. Posting your log here is an excellent start - for the accountability, sure, but much more so for the friends you'll make and the support system you'll create. I struggle with the 'weight-loss' demons myself. When you start noticing how much better you're feeling, it should get easier to leave that 'I'm on a diet' mentality behind and discover the joy of the journey you're on! Keep us posted on how you're doing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SummerGirl Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 You sound strong and determined and it's fantastic that you are moving forward and not dwelling on the negatives. Positive action is the way to go, you are so right. It's a good lesson for us all. Best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhmomi Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Each time you do a Whole30 you will learn amd grow from the experience. Congrats on starting again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristinaD Posted August 13, 2012 Share Posted August 13, 2012 Good for you for starting again! I also subscribed to the emails starting Aug 1 and had to hit the 'restart' link twice in the first week. For the third try, I started a food log here and that's really helping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 13, 2012 Author Share Posted August 13, 2012 Today was an interesting one...started out with a big breakfast which held me over until late in the afternoon. Learning how to listen to my body and hear my hunger cues, which is unchartered territory for me. Also successfully drank 6 litres of water which was a goal of mine. I was stuck at work and unable to get anything else so obviously this food isn't ideal, but my hunger level was really low, so this is what i had. 3 eggs 3 sausages Avocado Spinach Americano with coconut milk 150 grams of turkey Apple Apple Tomorrows goals; wake up and run, one coffee, smaller breakfast, post goals and update on blog in the a.m. Yay day 2!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 Thank you all for your responses and your support! Especially those who shared their experience with having to start over as well. If we don't recognize our progress, we can get stuck in a dark and negative place all too easily. breakfast goal of eating smaller portion was reached! Also just one cup of coffee so far which is great. Feeling a bit sleepy but going to push through and drink plenty of water throughout the day. Here are the goals for today followed by what I had for breakfast: 1. Wait until I'm truly hungry to eat lunch, then stop when I'm full...even if it means having some food left over. 2. drink 3 litres of water before crossfit tonight 3. Counter all negative, self-doubting thoughts with positive ones as soon as I can 4. Reach out if the temptation to stray from my plan comes up! Even if it means posting 100 times! Breakfast: 1 egg 1/2 cup ground veal with mushrooms, peppers, onion (cooked beforehand) spinach americano w coconut milk Here I go.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SummerGirl Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Hope you have a great day tessita! I especially like your bullet point no 3 above of countering negative self-doubting thoughts with a positive one as soon as possible-I'm going to try that myself today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Share Posted August 14, 2012 Thanks Summer....Definitely had to do my share of that today! But it certainly makes a difference in my day and my efforts! Today was an interesting one, felt so moody and so tired. I realize through abstaining from excess coffee that I have a tendency to abuse it. Will have to limit caffeine intake I think....possibly cut it out completely. Lunch: broccoli and carrot slaw spinach 100 grams of turkey cherry tomatoes mushrooms vinegar 1/2 pack of guacamole snack:apple Post wod: feew bites of chicken Dinner: 4.5 oz chicken breast, broccoli slaw mushrooms tomatoes carrots spinach 1/2 pouch guacamole vinegar delish! Hard part was passing on paleo dessert that my BF likes to make...even though its paleo, not whole 30 approved and the biggest thing I am trying to change is not eating after dinner! T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazon-ing Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 I am starting over today after 12 days of "perfection" !! Awesome post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Share Posted August 15, 2012 Hey Amazon, 12 days wow! for me, I have to recognize what a beautiful accomplishment that is. I have to look at the big picture; out of a total of 20 days, I only had one where I didn't eat clean. That is certainly progress! Don't forget we are all on our own path, the best we can do is just keep going and putting one foot in front of the other Something I've been realizing is that my portions have been getting a bit out of control. I've been over doing it on avocado and meat...way more than what I need. I don't have the ability to apply moderation with nuts and dried fruit, so I stay completely away from those because I know they are a very quick way to sabotage progress. So I have been trying to be more mindful of my portions, and stop eating when dinner is over. I know I get enough food for dinner, so the only thing that would drive me to eat would be habit or a sweet craving...which I am trying to eradicate through the W30. so after dinner, kitchen is closed. simple as that. Pre workout; apple Morning crossfit and long walk with my man black coffee 4 oz kangaroo spinach, mushroom, broccoli, cherry tomatoes 3 T guac drinking lots of water today, and staying honest about my portions and my hunger levels. only eat when I'm hungry and stop when full!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Share Posted August 16, 2012 Didn't get a chance to upload last night, but dinner was epic! iceberg lettuce wrapped Lamb & Mint burgers from Make it paleo caramelized onions (coconut oil and some balsamic vinegar) avocado carrot and parsnip puree from nomnom paleo it was sooo good! Afterwards, however, I snacked a bit on some dried fruit and nuts and before I knew it I had waaaay too much! that stuff is so easy to over eat! THis is exactly why I try so hard to avoid it, but for some reason the craving for it is so specific and strong that I end up going back to the trail mix time and again. I know its technically W30 approved, and its certainly paleo....but not the way I go through the stuff!! Alright, best I can do is keep going and trying my best. This am I had eggs and bacon with roasted tomatoes...blegh canned tomatoes!!! Who serves that? I could tell they were canned before I even tried them. Not a very pleasant thing. Moving on; today was defininely not the best, and there is a good chance there was something not whole 30 approved in my breakfast. A good chance there was sugar in the bacon even though I asked before hand what their source was. What a fail. Starting my count over again? I guess I have no choice....these accidental slips SUCK! just means I will have to be more careful in the future and bring my own breakfast or just skip during these early morning networking groups. Oh well, at least I still feel honest and am still truckin. Day one AGAIN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee Kosowan Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 As long as you don't give up!! Keep it strong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 Thanks! Giving up is not an option for me So I feel good today because I am starting to get the hang of this. Brekky: 4 oz turkey, apple coffee with coco milk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 17, 2012 Author Share Posted August 17, 2012 Today was successful! Lunch was broccoli and carrot slaw with baby tomatoes, vinegar, 4 oz of turkey and some avocado...all within a good range of portion. Had an apple for snack dinner was half a chicken breast with broccoli, beetroot., mushrooms and guac. afterwards I had an apple and now...done! Aww the freedom that comes with being done with food for the day. Kitchen is closed, so to speak. So while my boyfriend and his friends all hang and have cookie dough ice cream, I can politely say no thank you, and share my success with the whole9 world by typing it in this forum. When the kitchen is closed, it takes the difficulty out of having to decide if I have anyhthing else or not. No more and thats it, period. I can be finished, I don't need to return to the pantry to graze on nuts or dried fruits or ANYTHING! simple as that. Goals accomplished today: 1.no between meal snacking or grazing 2. drank plenty of water 3. cut avocado consumption in half 4. didn't have any nut butters 5. Felt good and satisfied with my mindful, slowly consumed meals all day posted in whole9life!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcrady57 Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Think I remember seeing somewhere in the boards that an accidental slip-up on some unforeseen added sugar (ie bacon) is more of a judgement call than an absolute restart. If that's why you started over, I don't think I'd reset the count right away, just avoid bacon unless you're certain there's no sugar. I haven't found any yet so I've been experimenting with pork belly (basically uncured bacon) in the meantime and will save the bacon for a non-whole 30 treat. Accidental gluten on the other hand - total restart... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Share Posted August 18, 2012 Cool! Will look into that. Feeling good today....very very body conscious, doing realy well in the gym but wishing i had about 5 kilos less to carry around for the chin up bar. Biggest effort is to watch my quantities and listen to where I'm at while I'm eating. Breakfast: post training was an orange then ground lamb, veggies, avocado coffee with coconut milk 2 scrambled eggs, 4 spears of asparagus and a carrot. Dinner is TBD...thinking about doing a second workout today. will haveto see how I feel. T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 18, 2012 Author Share Posted August 18, 2012 Dinner was great! Ended up getting a good afternoon wod in and followed it up with a nice veggie filled supper. Beef burger patty 1/2 pouch of guac Broccoli mushrooms peppers tomatoes spinach That's all folks! Good night from down unda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Share Posted August 19, 2012 Woohoo! another day in the books for me. Today was awesome. Pre-wod snack Apple post: chicken sausages (2) spinach, mushrooms, pepper, tomatoes, 2 eggs, 1/2 packet guac coffee with coconut milk orange lunch: leftover egg dish from brekky dinner: roasted turnips, red pepper, onion, carrots, parsnip wiht free range roasted garlic turkey breast and 1/4 avocado it was the bomb.com! Those of you who have not yet experimented with turnips or other root veggies....do yourself a favor and start trying some new stuff! they are delicious and add excitement to any sort of veggie/protein/fat routine you've gotten into. feeling really good and seeing improvements in strength and stamina in the gym. keeping it up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcrady57 Posted August 19, 2012 Share Posted August 19, 2012 I love love love those root vegetables and you just reminded me that I need to eat them more! Rutabagas are my favorite - I used to save them for a treat at Thanksgiving, mashed up like potatoes with lots of butter; I'll just replace the butter with ghee and go happily on with eating them. Been meaning to do that, so I think I'll add them on to my next grocery list now. You're doing great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 Day off to a great start! Spent some time on the train this morning just being grateful and reflecting on what I want my day to look like...highly recomment this exercise. Soooo, here are the goals today: 1. start morning off with a run (done!!) 2. Eat breakfast sans quacamole (done) 3. Ease up on the coffee consumption 4. drink 1 gallon of water! 5. post in the forum! roasted some delicious veggies last night and added 2 eggs and an egg white to them this morning..gave it a stire and popped it in the microwave for an awesome breakfast on the go. Had to eat in on the train to West Melbourne. Gonna keep it up today!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 20, 2012 Author Share Posted August 20, 2012 Alright. All done with food today but I'm pouting about it. My sweet tooth is acting up and my jealousy is loud too because everyone else gets paleolithic dessert but me. So now is the time for me to review the reasons I'm doing this and the reasons I choose to pass on these indulgences. 1. I want to break my addiction to sweeteners 2. I want to sleep better 3 I want to have stable energy levels and moods 4 I want to feel faster,stinger, lighter and LEANER in the gym!!!! Also I want to keep this commitment to myself because I believe I deserve it. Summer in Australia is right around the corner and I want to look and feel the best I ever had. I want to feel better when I run, do double undersea box jumps burpees Philips ring dips handstand pushups air squats roe deadlifts snatched push press toes to bar and pistols. I want to do this and be a living testimony to this wonderful program and show people it really works because I did it!! This is Ny life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kcrady57 Posted August 20, 2012 Share Posted August 20, 2012 You Go Girl!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tessita86 Posted August 21, 2012 Author Share Posted August 21, 2012 Made it through without going to the sweet stuff!!! Or anything for that matter...kitchen was closed EOD!! Posted from my kindle though so sorry for all the typos. Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone!! Here was brekky 4 oz ham, orange, americano (long black) with coconut Last night was not the best night in the gym...my oh squats were shit, deadlifts were shit, chest to bar felt heavy and slow and I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry!! Emotional much?? lol But I have to remember that not every day can be amazing. I have been feeling and performing really well for the most part lately so I need to focus on the postiivie rather than one night of less progresss. I say less progress because beforehand I went in early to practice full range strict HSPU and I actually got some! Thats awesome...so there. Anyways, today is a new day and I can keep this up because I deserve it. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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