Jump to content

I don't want to be the fun sucking "health freak"


gcerami

Recommended Posts

Ok, so I am on day 10 of the whole 30 challenge (had to start over after a slip up with BBQ sauce) and have been feeling really good resisting sugar... in fact, making the right choices on my own time has been extremely easy for me! BUT I am the type of person who is always worried about how other people are feeling and how they think about me.

 

I know they say timing is everything, but I didn't feel like waiting! So here I am, just started a new job and junk food, baked good, cheese and cracker are EVERYWHERE! We have been celebrating a lot of work anniversaries and birthdays and I always have to awkwardly stand there and not eat anything while everyone is enjoying their cake, icecream, snacks, etc. I really don't mind missing out on these treats, but I feel like I'm already the new girl that spoils the fun by not eating pretty much anything they bring in. On top of that, our whole team is going out for drinks tonight. This is my first time hanging out with them outside of work, and I hate that I will be the only one not getting a drink. It's not like I WANT the drink, but I don't want them to be judging me or feel as though I am not included in the festivities.

 

THEN, I have been hanging out with this new guy who I am avoiding going on a date with because I don't want to be the annoying girl making weird requests at the dinner table during our FIRST dates. We went to the movies and I didn't get anything, but I feel like eventually it'll get annoying for him to deal with.

 

In conclusion, I don't want to be known as the health freak in both of these new situations, but I don't want to quit when I am feeling really good about all the decisions I am making! Bad timing.... I know

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I like Warren Miller quotes...here's two of my faves.

 

1. “If you don't do it this year, you will be one year older when you do.”

 

2. “If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your thing.”

 

 

If we all waited for perfect timing, it may never get here.  If you really feel bad about the snacks at work.....I worked in a place just like this;

the employees brought in huge bags of licorice, cookies, peanuts, m&m's, dark/milk chocolate kisses....you name it.   The break room had cupboards and everyone of them was full of candy and snacks.

 

If you feel that they're really paying that much attention to you...put some on your plate.

Stand around and shoot the breeze.  Be casual  and chatty.      When break is over, put plastic wrap over it and set it on your desk. Treat it with care (if someone is actually watching).  Take it home like it's your pet rock, then when you're home...throw it in the dumpster.

 

Why do you have to ask annoying questions out on the date?  Order something you can deal with and leave it at that.  If there's things that come along on the plate,  don't eat those.   You don't have to draw attention to what you're doing.  You can ask for a to-go box for things you don't eat and take them home...but if you're going to the movies, you may not want to.

 

Don't avoid having a life.  Things won't be perfect after a Whole 30 either.

 

This is Day 80 for me and I've had anniversaries, birthdays, 4th of July, Father's Day...all of it.

I haven't advertised to anyone what I was doing and no one gave it a second thought.  Don't overthink it.  Most people are so busy thinking about their own problems and daily choices...

 

P.S.   The drinks tonight.  If you're self conscious, order one.   Stand around and shoot the breeze.   Throw it in the toity when no one is looking.   :D   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you can, try not to worry about it too much.  I live in a part of the world where vegans and vegetarians are quite vocal and have absolutely no embarrassment about expressing their questions and stating what they will and will not eat or drink.  In fact, they behave as if right and virtue are on their side.  I've thought about that a lot in recent months as I've been to summer outings where the veg*n crowd made its presence felt strongly and I had a really hard time finding something to eat.  I think it's fine to be healthy and proud of it.

 

Maybe it's not the easiest mindset to adopt, especially for those of us who have a history of enjoying sweets and drinks with friends - but it's a perfectly valid way to go through life.

 

Go on that date.  And go out with seltzer water and a lime and party like it's 1999, and enjoy waking up with a clear head the next day. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the advice! I know I definitely have to start worrying less about what other people think... just seems to be one of the only difficulties I am having with this challenge so far (which I guess I can't complain about!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When break is over, put plastic wrap over it and set it on your desk. Treat it with care (if someone is actually watching).  Take it home like it's your pet rock, then when you're home...throw it in the dumpster.

 

Meadowlilly - This made me laugh so hard! I love this idea.

 

gcerami - If you need a drink go up to the bar and order a sparkling water with olives. It looks like you are drinking and nobody knows the difference.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I used to think what other people thought of me a lot.  I mean a lot a lot.  (Yes I was that insecure)

 

One thought that put things into perspective is this:  What other people think (or think of you) is their business.  Basically they can think what they want of you - why should you really care?  It is after all their business if they want to associate with you or not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If anyone asks you about what is in your glass or on your plate they're much braver than anyone I was around during my W30!  While we might anticipate confrontation it isn't likely to occur.  Of course if they do ask then be honest, just tell them you're in the middle of a thing and you are opting out of sugar, alcohol, etc. for a month to see how you feel.  If they're respectfully curious and want to know more, great, the door is open to a conversation. And I have to agree with MeadowLilly, I think you'll find most people more absorbed into their own lives and caring far less what someone else is drinking....of course they also probably think they're being judged by what's on their plate or in their glass too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Peer pressure is tough.  I tried to tread lightly, new job, new fella, new coworkers...she wants to make the right impression right off the bat.

 

Gcerami...you have to report back to us and let us know how you maneuvered your way through these obstacles.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's hard, no doubt about that. When I do out drinking with friends I usually get a water with a slice of lemon or lime, just something a bit posh and to fit in, you can always make up an excuse about something to do early the next day if you don't want to stand out too much. Work shouts are difficult, because I find people will offer you whatever they've brought along, I usually just fill up on the carrots and dip I brought at the start (or have 1 piece of paleo baking non-whole30), and then say I'm stuffed, you may have to use the elimination diet line :)

For the new guy, maybe you can suggest a date that doesn't revolve around food? Mini golf, fun park etc? Or pack a posh picnic and go for a drive (the posher the picnic, the more paleo it gets lol, olives and all that)? You may find you can tell him a little about what you are doing, this is a man you are choosing to have in your life :)

Best of luck with it, I know its hard, but I find a whole30 is a great way to practice social skills and polite rejections of other peoples baked love.

As an aside, I have a friends 30th on Friday, and I just asked if we know yet where we are going for dinner so I can suss out the menu lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

THEN, I have been hanging out with this new guy who I am avoiding going on a date with because I don't want to be the annoying girl making weird requests at the dinner table during our FIRST dates. 

 

Oh this made me so sad. Partly because I could see myself feeling the same way! I'm single right now, but I've thought many times "oh it's a good thing no one is asking me out, because I wouldn't want to deal with this whole diet thing in front of them anyway!" Maybe you can just have a couple of restaurant ideas in your back pocket, which you have already researched. Look up the menus online or call ahead so you know what to order before you get there...then you don't have to feel weird about asking in front of him. Definitely don't avoid spending time together just because of food! Who knows, he may think it's very cool that you are trying to take good care of yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am married and have not dated in a while so you can take this with a grain of salt. If you are on a date and are "that Crazy Girl that orders off the menu" and he is offended then he is not the guy for you. I am so glad that my husband accepts me just the way I am even if I am a little crazy. Who knows you might find a guy that is just as crazy as you are? Good Luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's hard, no doubt about that. When I do out drinking with friends I usually get a water with a slice of lemon or lime, just something a bit posh and to fit in, you can always make up an excuse about something to do early the next day if you don't want to stand out too much. Work shouts are difficult, because I find people will offer you whatever they've brought along, I usually just fill up on the carrots and dip I brought at the start (or have 1 piece of paleo baking non-whole30), and then say I'm stuffed, you may have to use the elimination diet line :)

For the new guy, maybe you can suggest a date that doesn't revolve around food? Mini golf, fun park etc? Or pack a posh picnic and go for a drive (the posher the picnic, the more paleo it gets lol, olives and all that)? You may find you can tell him a little about what you are doing, this is a man you are choosing to have in your life :)

Best of luck with it, I know its hard, but I find a whole30 is a great way to practice social skills and polite rejections of other peoples baked love.

As an aside, I have a friends 30th on Friday, and I just asked if we know yet where we are going for dinner so I can suss out the menu lol

Great suggestions for the date.  Picnic!   Good one.  I think she must already be there.   Hope it's going well for her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the advice everyone! We have dinner planned for tonight, but I made sure it was at a restaurant that I have been to before on the Whole30 and know exactly what to order (without substitutions!) I plan to tell him about the whole30 challenge because eating healthy is something obviously very important to me... but I was still concerned about coming off as high maintenance if i had to ask a lot of questions about the menu. I will keep you updated about how it goes!

 

A picnic is a great idea! Hopefully there will be another date and we can do something like that!!

 

As far as the night out with my coworkers, I ordered a water in front of everyone. I could tell they were a little disapointed because they all wanted to drink with me for the first time... but they got over it extremely fast. I made sure to remind them that in 20 days we will all go out together to celebrate my successful completion of the whole 30 challenge! I may have even convinced some of them to try it out with me again in the Fall :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh romance! Love it. Hope the meal goes very well ;-) who knows you might inspire him to try too?? I think no matter what you do if you are confident in the manner in which you choose to live your life, well then that can only come across as a positive. You seemed to have charmed your new co-workers too! Congrats and I will be back checking out how that date went more importantly!! :-)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the advice everyone! We have dinner planned for tonight, but I made sure it was at a restaurant that I have been to before on the Whole30 and know exactly what to order (without substitutions!) I plan to tell him about the whole30 challenge because eating healthy is something obviously very important to me... but I was still concerned about coming off as high maintenance if i had to ask a lot of questions about the menu. I will keep you updated about how it goes!

 

A picnic is a great idea! Hopefully there will be another date and we can do something like that!!

 

As far as the night out with my coworkers, I ordered a water in front of everyone. I could tell they were a little disapointed because they all wanted to drink with me for the first time... but they got over it extremely fast. I made sure to remind them that in 20 days we will all go out together to celebrate my successful completion of the whole 30 challenge! I may have even convinced some of them to try it out with me again in the Fall :)

Upfront and honest all the way. :)    What happened with the snacks at work?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for all the advice everyone! We have dinner planned for tonight, but I made sure it was at a restaurant that I have been to before on the Whole30 and know exactly what to order (without substitutions!) I plan to tell him about the whole30 challenge because eating healthy is something obviously very important to me... but I was still concerned about coming off as high maintenance if i had to ask a lot of questions about the menu. I will keep you updated about how it goes!

 

A picnic is a great idea! Hopefully there will be another date and we can do something like that!!

 

As far as the night out with my coworkers, I ordered a water in front of everyone. I could tell they were a little disapointed because they all wanted to drink with me for the first time... but they got over it extremely fast. I made sure to remind them that in 20 days we will all go out together to celebrate my successful completion of the whole 30 challenge! I may have even convinced some of them to try it out with me again in the Fall :)

Love this so much!  Instead of them influencing you, it's possible you have altered your work environment to make it more healthy - after just a short time at the job!  And love the date strategy! :wub: :wub:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

As far as the night out with my coworkers, I ordered a water in front of everyone. I could tell they were a little disapointed because they all wanted to drink with me for the first time... but they got over it extremely fast. I made sure to remind them that in 20 days we will all go out together to celebrate my successful completion of the whole 30 challenge! I may have even convinced some of them to try it out with me again in the Fall :)

 

This made me laugh - my co-workers are more like "You're not drinking? More for me!" They don't care why, as long as I'm not looking at them with a judgey face (which I don't - each to their own!).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The date didn't end up happening unfortunately because we both got out of work extremely late last night, BUT it is rescheduled. As far as the snacks I decided to suck it up since they all already know about this challenge. I might as well set the standard early on that I will not be eating like that in the work place rather than always trying to hide it from everyone. I am making sure when I turn down baked goods and junk food to be polite and as subtle as possible rather than making a big fuss and hopefully they will begin to not even notice/bother trying to offer it to me!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Administrators

It makes me sad (and a little angry) that people are automatically more accepted (or feel that they will be) for blindly eating crap food instead of standing up for their own personal health and wellness first.  What the heck happened that eating ding dongs in a boardroom is more highly accepted than not?

 

Crazy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My coworkers used to try to push stuff on me until they realized that I wasn't budging. I'm far from a 'health freak' in their book (I have Celiac's), at least after I had them bring me several bags of potato chips as emergency "I'm at a military exercise and can't eat a lot of the food they make and I'm so sick of fruit and pudding and Lara Bars and please just get me something that's carby and not sweet" rations.

 

I will say it's funny, if I'm asked, I plainly just tell them I can't have gluten because I have Celiac's and answer their inevitable questions (you get used to them quickly)...but once I mention that's why I don't eat gluten someone ALWAYS knows someone who has issues with it too. One friend's grandmother has Celiac's (recently diagnosed), my new boss' daughter has issues with gluten (his wife had to cut it out completely while nursing)...everyone knows someone. If you just say you have a medical reaction to it (which, if you get a stomachache after eating it, I say that's a medical reaction!), they leave you alone and even go out of their way to find you something you CAN eat. It may not be what you want to eat, but a smile and genuine thanks goes a long way (even if you give it away as soon as you're out of their sight).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...