Whole 30 Binge

[dizzo19]

Today is day 27 of my first Whole30.  It's been pretty smooth so far, nothing unexpected and no really strong cravings.  I have a history of bulimia and binge eating disorder but so far I've felt completely free of both of those afflictions.  Last Monday I returned to college.  Everything was going well, even though the stress of the first week is almost unbearable (I'm an Acting major and a Dance major so it's classes all day and auditions all night).  Come Saturday (today) I am binging like crazy.  It's all whole30 approved foods, fruit and carbs like sweet potatoes and plantains and even deli meat that is whole30 approved, but I just can't stop.  I don't feel well and I feel like I've failed. I was so close to completion.  This whole30 has changed my life.  I don't know why I am self-sabotaging at a time like this. Have I ruined my Whole30?

[GoJo09]

So, food is your coping strategy for stress. Compliant food or junk food, you're still using it in the same way. You need to think of ways to reduce the effect that stress had on you, starting initially with identifying your feelings pre-binge and having a distraction available to get you over the peak of the stress-wave.

You haven't "ruined" your Whole 30, you'll still have all the physical benefits of cutting out those non-compliant foods for a month, but perhaps the psychological benefits will be reduced.

[AmyS]

You haven't ruined your Whole30.  You just learned something new about yourself - you can go a whole 27 days without binging and/or purging.  That's huge.  Also, you learned that even on the toughest days you can eat compliant foods.

 

During times of high stress (I just finished teaching my first week of music at a performing arts department of a university, so I understand your stress) you might think seriously about eating four or five full meals per day.  I found during the first week of classes that even with a full breakfast I was jittery from hunger by about 10:30 a.m. (unusual for me).  I'm planning to carry around lots of hard boiled eggs with me next week, since I have few breaks during the teaching day.  A hard boiled egg functions as a mini meal in a pinch, and if I toss in some easy-to-carry veggies, even better.

 

For you, think about how you can stave off the binging by eating more throughout the day.  If you're in dance, you may be dealing with the belief that you must be a certain weight or look - but you really just have to be yourself, and dance as yourself.  Truly.

 

Sleep well tonight, be gentle with yourself, and start tomorrow off with a nice good-size breakfast, and plan to eat a minimum of four meals a day next week.  Also, try to bring a little summer vacation with you into the school year. Something fun and relaxing every day.  I say this as a teacher, all stress and no play makes a performing arts major suffer.  And we didn't get into the performing arts to suffer.

 

You can do it.  Big hugs, rest well, and carry on.  Again, you can do it.

[dizzo19]

Thank you both.  Your words of encouragement were exactly what I needed.

[GoJo09]

I meant to say, I know exactly where you're coming from - it was my therapist who identified that anxiety (particularly social anxiety) led me to binge eat.

[praxisproject]

Yay for 27 days! Celebrate all the things you have achieved

 

Take some magnesium before bed and make sure you get enough sleep, tomorrow is a new day

[WholeJanice]

Hi all. I'm feeling just the same as Lizzie today. I am at the end of my third week and the first couple of weeks were not too bad (except trying to source compliant food when camping with kids!) but I have stuck to it 100% in relation to what I can / cannot eat. The only rule that I have started to slip on this week is the non-snacking and not using food in a bad psychological way. I can't say I'm stressed but I'm doing a job at work that seems never ending and finding it really hard to concentrate. My out for this is to take as many distraction breaks from work as possible. There's only so many times I can go to the loo so I have been snacking again and in particular, eating too much fruit and hazelnuts. I know this is not allowed because I am not eating for hunger at all.

 

Any advice please on how you distract yourself from cravings when, as in this instance, I need to be doing work so it's not like I can just go for a run or call a friend.

 

As with Lizzie I feel bad for breaking the rule about giving in to cravings but also feel glad that I'm learning to at least binge on better foods! I don't think dates and potatoes should be allowed on the whole30 though - dates are just so sugary that they are easy to use as a chocolate replacement.

[WholeJanice]

Sorry Dizzo not Lizzie (not sure where I got that from!)

[Rocket]

Janice,

 

Could you listen to music as a distraction as you work?  Maybe something to get your toes tapping or that'll make you dance around a bit?

[EmilyRose]

Hi all. I'm feeling just the same as Lizzie today. I am at the end of my third week and the first couple of weeks were not too bad (except trying to source compliant food when camping with kids!) but I have stuck to it 100% in relation to what I can / cannot eat. The only rule that I have started to slip on this week is the non-snacking and not using food in a bad psychological way. I can't say I'm stressed but I'm doing a job at work that seems never ending and finding it really hard to concentrate. My out for this is to take as many distraction breaks from work as possible. There's only so many times I can go to the loo so I have been snacking again and in particular, eating too much fruit and hazelnuts. I know this is not allowed because I am not eating for hunger at all.

 

Any advice please on how you distract yourself from cravings when, as in this instance, I need to be doing work so it's not like I can just go for a run or call a friend.

 

As with Lizzie I feel bad for breaking the rule about giving in to cravings but also feel glad that I'm learning to at least binge on better foods! I don't think dates and potatoes should be allowed on the whole30 though - dates are just so sugary that they are easy to use as a chocolate replacement.

 

Hi, Janice!

 

I have had the same problem as you for years - at a desk job and use food as my 'break' from stressful/ongoing/draining projects. In the last few months I have started doing a few things that are helping me avoid the snacking when I need a brain break. When I get to the point where I am overwhelmed/burnt out and want to reach for a snack, I get up and walk outside and stand in the sun (which always makes me smile), or chug water, or jump on to healthy sites (like Whole30) and spend a few minutes reading articles and posts that help me remember my goals and why I don't want to do the mindless snacking thing. Not going to lie, the snacking still wins at times, but these things have helped a ton!!

 

Good luck and focus on the long term goals

 

Emily

[frantastic]

What a great (and brave) topic, and what wonderful, supportive responses! I have issues with binge eating (sans purging) and using food as a coping mechanism. I'm on day 18 of my first whole 30 now. I'm a little bit scared, because my desire to binge eat is still there.

[outdorsgrl]

I am right along with you. I happen to come across this thread...and for the last week or so, I can't seem to stop snacking...especially on blueberries. I am on my 2nd W30...this time AIP. I am on day 12. I am wondering if I am not getting enough of something?!?!

[AuntJane]

Thanks, dizzo, for starting this thread, and all of you who have replied.  I have a history of bulimia too, and I have been afraid that a binge is right around the corner, even on Whole30 compliant foods.  I am only on day 8, so I don't expect to have this figured out yet!  But it's helpful to know others struggle with binge eating and have gotten past it. 

[Brewer5]

But it's helpful to know others struggle with binge eating and have gotten past it.

I have gotten past it. I have never experienced a true eating disorder, and never felt the need to purge -- but there are foods in my past that I have binged on to the point of making myself feel sick. To the point of having a "food baby" every single night.

It did not happen overnight, but the bottom line is: Those foods had to go. Period.

And they had to be replaced by foods that actually give my body what it needs: And I believe that to be FAT. Protein is important, and can be satiating, but it can also be converted to glucose in our bodies when we eat too much of it. FAT is highly underestimated by most folks, IMO. It is required for so many things in our bodies -- and highly important for our brains. Our moods, our hormones.

I definitely like the idea in this thread of having 4 or 5 MEALS per day if you need to, following the template. Not. snacking. I say load up on fat, make a conscious decision to do that for awhile -- and see how you feel.

I will also just say that there are several Whole-30 "approved" foods that I cannot allow back into my life. You will save yourself a lot of heartache if you recognize that there is NO program out there that can make these little, individual decisions for you. Just because someone "allows" it -- does NOT mean that it is a good choice for you.

Edited to say: I am referring mostly to saturated fat -- like you get from fattier cuts of meat, approved animal fats, eggs, ghee, and coconut oil. Trying to use nuts and seeds as a main source of fat on a Whole 30 is not advised. And with good reason.

[Phoenix11Rising]

I am also someone who struggles with disordered eating, and I just wanted to thank y'all for bringing this topic here! I am starting my first Whole30 tomorrow, and I am most looking forward to seeing how this affects my dysfunctional relationship with food. 

[lkibsy]

I am starting my first Whole30 tomorrow and am so happy that I came across this thread. For 2 years I struggled with anorexia, nothing that was ever very severe,  but I did drop to 94lbs (I'm 5' 1") while always competing with how long I could go without eating and restricting calories. I went a couple years where I felt like I had rebuilt my relationship with food, but now with dealing with some health issues (that turns out I've had all my life), my relationship with food has gone awry again. But this time, it is binge eating. I've struggled with this for the past year and am really hoping that I can re-establish a healthy relationship with food once again.

 

I am currently a grad student and am finding the stress of school and being overwhelmed a bit of a trigger for me, often turning to food instead of being productive and proactive when I am stressed.

 

I will share with all of you how the Whole30 helps shift this for me.

[Brewer5]

Welcome, lkibsy, and thank you for sharing your story.  If you think it would help, you can keep a log here.  It's a great place to track your meals, your feelings, your thoughts.  May help you recognize patterns and triggers.  Give a shout out for help if you need it, ask for suggestions.  We all love to help!

[caro9]

ufffff I had a "compliant" binge on day 10.  I really wanted sugar so I just kept eating.  It was terrible.  My brain and sugar addiction took over and my stomach was forced to suffer the consequences.

My stomach felt like a rock, and I felt horrible.  The next day I literally wasn't hungry all day - my stomach was still a rock.  And I still felt horrible about myself.

I made myself eat a small meal mid-afternoon and that only made my stomach more rock-like.  I started to feel more normal by the time I went to bed.  The following day (today) I am back to normal.

I hope I remember these feelings and never go there again.  That was unlike any bingeing experience I've ever had.. my stomach cringes just thinking about it.

:-(

[jess_ar]

I cheated. On day 14. I had a binge for two days. I am feeling like crap. dont wanna get out of bed.

[jess_ar]

Just a single tiny bite can make me lose control, and yes, i did lose control. Wanted to eat everything on that table.... Arrived home and went straight to my cupboard and ate a whole packet of chocolate cookies and more.... :'( i faileeeeeed

[Physibeth]

You didn't fail. You had a setback. Get back on track now! Start from the beginning and spend some time thinking about what happened and how you could have handled it differently. Are there things that contributed to what happened?

 

Remember that how you think about this program is going to have a huge effect on your success. If you think "I can't" a lot it is going to feel harder than it needs to. If you think "I'm choosing not to" it will be easier to say no. Back up that "I'm choosing not to" with a lot of reasons why you are choosing not to. Carry around a list of reasons why you are doing Whole30. When stepping into social eating situations always have a plan. The people whose opinions really matter will understand.

 

You can do this! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again stronger for the setback.

[missmary]

jess, I'm sorry this happened. For some people, the restrictions of the whole30 can trigger unhealthy behaviors, and for those people, we don't recommend doing the program. seriously. Whole30 isn't for everyone. It doesn't mean you failed. Be gentle with yourself

[jess_ar]

I am back on track today Physibeth, thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I am a person who never gives up. I will make a plan like you said, write the reasons why I am doing this. I loved the way I felt those 14 days, but I felt off the wagon, had to admit. I want more of whole 30. Doing a whole 30 during the holidays can be difficult but not impossible. I will stick to it. Thanks for your replies. I am feeling better today.

[SusanB.]

It's been helpful to read this thread. My long and complicated dysfunctional relationship with food definitely includes binge eating (no purging - I'm emetophobic) - it's one of the things I'm trying to get control of by doing the Whole30. This is my 3rd attempt (first was successful, second I lost my mind to the sugar dragon at day 24 or so). Sweets are my downfall - I can hold the line with other things and act rationally, but with sweets I'm sort of powerless.

 

Something I learned during previous 30's: what's on my personal food with no brakes list. Cashews, almond butter. Dates. All dried fruits. Larabars (I was keeping them around for "emergencies").

 

I've been trying to see if I can take these things out of context and not creep back into bingeing behaviors, but I think the answer might be no. I have a big bag of organic mixed nuts and so far I haven't picked out the cashews, but I bought a box of dried currants to go in a recipe and....have been back to the box for a handful over and over. It's bingeing for sure, even if I'm not consuming massive calories.

 

I want so badly to escape the food-without-brakes part of my relationship with food. It's so deeply ingrained though, I wonder if I will ever truly change?

[Brewer5]

I want so badly to escape the food-without-brakes part of my relationship with food. It's so deeply ingrained though, I wonder if I will ever truly change?

 

Susan, I just want you to know that you most certainly CAN turn this around.  I have done it.  

 

I have been exactly where you are with the nuts and the dried fruit...  and you know what?  I had to break up with dried fruit.  Like, for good.  Once I finally realized that it was serving NO healthy purpose for me -- literally, none -- it was easy to say goodbye and never look back.  

 

When they say in the book that your body doesn't know the difference between a Larabar and a Snickers bar, that is not just a cute comparison.  That is literal.  Anyone out there who thinks they are doing their bodies a favor by choosing dried fruit over a candy bar is in complete denial.  How can I say this so confidently?  Hey -- because I have been there.  I've dug myself out of that hole.

 

Cashews, of all the nuts, have the highest carb count I have found yet.  There's a reason why folks are apt to binge on cashews in particular.  1/4 cup has NINE grams of carbs and not much fiber -- vs. say, something like macadamia nuts that have 4 carbs and 2 of those are fiber.  What does this mean?  Means those cashews are in fact feeding your sugar dragon.  ...Been there, done that, too.

 

A suggestion to anyone out there feeling helpless:  Take your health into your own hands, literally.  Want to know why you can't stop eating a particular food?  Test your blood sugar after one of those binges.  SEE what is happening, compared to other protein+fat+veggie template meals.  Don't want to invest in a blood glucose monitor?  Then take my word for it.  Anything that you have trouble controlling is not doing healthy things for you.