Whole 30 is leading to resentment of partner. Should he quit?

[Californiagirl]

My partner agreed to do a whole 30 with me. It was my idea but I didn't coerce him. He said he was willing to do it as long as I "helped" him. Well we are on day 16 and he has not made hardly anything for himself with the exception of eggs for breakfast a couple time when I was at work (one of the only things he knows how to make). I thought it would be too stressful to do it alone, but now I'm thinking it would be cake! Having to cook every meal for him and pack him lunch taking it's toll on me. We often don't eat meals at the same time bc of our schedule and he doesn't like a lot of the things I would make for myself if he weren't doing this as well (such as slaws, pickled veggies, certain veggies by themselves). On top of that he is often doesn't finish his lunch or is not hungry for dinner and I feel like I have to force feed him. I've acquiesced to letting him have smoothies and juice just so he won't lose too much weight/complain. He has already told me he is going to cheat/end early for a camping bachelor party which I am fine with as it's a once in a lifetime event and frankly he lacks the skills/knowledge/motivation to be complaint and not willing to pack him compliant foods just to have him drink beer anyway. I am thinking of just telling him to go ahead and quit now so that I can focus on myself. Thoughts?

[GFChris]

I think you answered your own question.   He's an adult.  He agreed to do it with you, but you're doing all his meal prep and are, in your words, "force-feeding" him.  It sounds like it's not serving either of you for him to continue to participate.  Sounds like it's best for you to continue, and he to eat however he wishes, and take care of his own meal prep.

[AmyS]

Yep, let him eat what he wants.

[GoJo09]

How does he feed himself normally if you're not prepping for him? Maybe get him some cooking lessons for his birthday :-)

[Californiagirl]

Thanks for the advice. I will definitely have a talk with him and give him an out. I think what was holding me back is feeling like I was being selfish by not helping him finish and then feeling guilty. Part of this stems from the fact that I am not working full time and he is working 50+ hours per week. However, you are right he is an adult and should at least put a minimal effort forward (e.g. Packing a lunch of already prepared foods instead of having me pack it for him).

I swear, he was really excited about doing this in the beginning and told friends, family ect. However I think the novelty had worn off and it's harder than he realized. One of our challenges is that we have a roommate so we only have half a fridge and freezer which cuts into the variety of our meals. We have to eat the same few things until they are gone.

On a typical day if I was not feeding him he would have cereal for breakfast, a trader joes salad for lunch plus whatever snacks are brought in at his work. Dinner would be beer, whatever snacks we have in the house ( trail mix, chips and salsa, carrots and hummus) or he would get a carne asada burrito from the taco shop. If he "cooks" it would be a frozen pizza or pasta.