Guest sareemaree Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Okay, so I've had a rough couple of days. Well, more like 6 of them. I've been been eating (although fortunately not bingeing on) noncompliant food, then feeling so guilty about it that I purge and then exercise excessively. This is happening multiple times a day and I'm physically and mentally exhausted, my stomach and intestines are in an uproar, I have terrible heartburn, my face is broken out, and my sleep is absolutely terrible. My physical tolerance for this behavior continues to diminish as I get older. I'm going to start Whole30 eating again tomorrow. I spent today shopping and cooking. This time, I'm going to eliminate fruit, as it has led me down the primrose path on more than one occasion. I'm also going to stay away from nuts and nut butters, because even though I haven't abused them I can definitely envision scenarios in which I might do so (actually, to be honest, I know I am capable of abusing just about any kind of food imaginable, but I have to start somewhere). Meat, fish, poultry, eggs, vegetables, and healthy fats - that's it! My goal is not weight loss, but I freely admit that I am totally obsessed with weight, so here are my measurements as of this morning: weight, 89.2 lbs; waist, 24 inches, hips, 31 inches. I asked my partner to take both the scales - the one I stand on and the one I weigh food on - to his office tomorrow morning and leave them there. I'll leave myself the option of weighing myself again in 30 days, but the more I think about it the surer I am that I'm going to ultimately need more time than that to truly change my deeply engrained thoughts and behaviors surrounding food and weight. And while I'm not at all confident that this time I'll be able to do it, I know that I owe it to myself to keep trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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