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Starting Anew


Emma

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I did the Whole30 for the first time in April of 2013 and it was good. It was hard and took a whole lot of time planning food and learning how to cook, but it was worth it.  We all felt good. And then we transitioned to a new normal which was pretty good too.  We ate out on occasion and enjoyed non-paleo foods, but it was in moderation.  My weight loss from before Whole30 was maintained without effort and things were good.

 

And then this summer I got depressed and just kinda fell apart.  And as I fell apart, so did my family.  Why wouldn't they.  It's so much more fun to go out to eat and sandwiches with BREAD is so wonderful and then there are the donuts and rolls at the store and the chocolate bars and the sesame chicken....

 

Behind my unhappy mood, I was aware that I didn't need to use that as an excuse to eat like crap, but I did.  Or maybe I didn't have the mental energy to keep focussed on eating well which was still pretty new given how many years I've eaten badly.  Or maybe, I was actively trying to make myself feel more miserable....which I did!

 

But none of that was enough to change things until I got sick.  Dang it.  While eating paleo, I was able to weather through the local colds and viruses with a touch of grace, but now....I'm a perfect vacation spot for those buggers.  My joints are already inflamed.  My ears, nose and throat are congested.  My body is bloated.  Give me some viruses and I don't have the ability to fight them off.  The viruses are like the straw that breaks the camel's back.  I need to get some of this straw (inflammation) out of me and if my mind isn't going to tell me to get back on track, well then it looks like my body is going to step in and tell me and it's going to tell me in a not very nice way.

 

So the last two days I haven't eaten much because I've been sick and today I've eaten purely Whole30.  I'm gonna try to stick with it.

 

No flours or sugars or grains for me - even though a touch of moderation isn't bad, I haven't been living in moderation and those little bits just seem like a gateway drug to more bad eating.

 

Day One:

Apple

Salmon chowder made with coconut milk, celery, sweet potatoes

Baked carrots with dates

Chocolate chili from Well Fed book

 

(It's not a balanced Whole30 three meal a day, day, but it's what has entered my body today and it's a good start given I wasn't really planning on starting up ;))

 

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Day Two - So far, so good.  I'm not jumping up and kicking my heels at this process, but I'm contentedly resigned to it.  Getting started is always so hard and at least I'm starting.  Sticking with it is hard too, but I'm trying to mentally hunker down.  It does help that I'm still coughing and reactive to foods because that means I really can't eat the stuff that's bad for me.

 

Breakfast: Pumpkin, coconut milk, chia seed custard - I was planning on eggs and spinach, but we had one of these left over sitting in our fridge.  It has been one of our breakfast foods for the kids and has made mornings much smoother.

 

Lunch: Chocolate Chili with spinach or scrambled eggs with spinach and kimchi

 

Dinner: Curried Garbage Stir-Fry from Nom-Nom Paleo (lamb, red cabbage, onions, curry)

 

It's still only mid morning so we'll see how I do on these in between portions of the day.  I just looked in the fridge and saw the cheese - ohhhh.  I've got boiled eggs and carrots I can snack on if temptation hits.

 

For now, I'm not committing to exercise or meditation, but those two things are lurking in the back of my consciousness.  For today and this week, I'm just working on regular life, sleep, and Whole30 eating.  Last night was another bad night of coughing, though not as bad as two nights ago so I'll chalk it up  to a slight move in a positive direction.

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I hope you get better soon - good on you realising that you need to look after your body with good food to make it a little more inhospitable for all those bugs :-).

While exercise might be a bit too much at the moment, you might find meditation really helps you through these first weeks, especially when you've been going through a rough patch. There are lots of apps that can help you and tough don't have to do long to start with (I use Calm, and I still tank or after 10 mins, but better than nothing!)

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GoJo09, You're right.  Of all the times my body and mind could use the meditation would be now when I'm not feeling so hot and am feeling a bit stressed.  That being said,  :) , I actively ignored that thinking yesterday, but might just start it today.  I started meditating last January as part of a 30 day challenge and I've got lots to learn, but I did recognize that I liked it in some odd intangible way.  I kept it up for a few months and have known I'd like it back in my life, but....just like food and exercise...all easier to recognize than to actually get things going.  I might just do it today and start that back up.

 

Day Three:

 

Breakfast: scrambled eggs in coconut oil with spinach

Lunch: Leftover curried cabbage and lamb stir fry (cabbage, onions, mushrooms)

Snack if needed: Smoked salmon or hard boiled egg with some vegetable item from the fridge

Dinner: Clean bratwurst with sauerkraut and maybe some baked butternut squash

 

Up last night coughing and felt frustrated about that, but I was so thankful that I couldn't blame the coughing on my lousy food choices.  I ate clean yesterday and took care of my body and, even though I coughed a bunch, I was able to get at least 6.5 hours of sleep which is far better than the four hours of sleep I've been logging this week due to the intensity of the coughs and asthma.

 

I'll aim for another early bedtime tonight and hopefully more sleep will happen.

 

I'm preparing for weekend meals.  We've been going out on the weekends for dinner and I know my family wants to and I know I'm tempted, but I'm sticking to this so I pulled out some US Wellness chicken legs for one meal and am trying to figure out what other things will help make this a good eating weekend we all enjoy instead.

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Got through the day eating well.  Didn't meditate and I'm staying up later than I wanted to working on a project for work tomorrow, but all in all - I got through the day and ate well.  

 

I went to the grocery store and saw the donuts and my stomach said, "mmmmmm", but I passed on by.  It helps that we have lots of leftovers and eggs in our fridge so making up a meal is easy at the moment.  Did I snack today? Well, I had smoked salmon about 45 minutes before dinner and I think the rest of my dinner wasn't much more than carrots.  Hmmm - I guess I didn't really snack, but then I didn't really have dinner either - I guess I didn't do so well when I think about that last meal! :)

 

Perhaps that is why my stomach is rumbling.  But you know, it feels good to have a rumbling stomach and my body will be a-okay till tomorrow morning.  Now, I just have to hope I get through tonight's sleep without too much coughing.  I have food prepped for work tomorrow and dinner planned.  

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Day Four:

 

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs with spinach, roasted carrots with chopped dates

Lunch: Smoked salmon, almond butter, (hmmm, I missed the veggies didn't I!!!)

Dinner: Clean bratwurst, sauerkraut, spinach and onions

 

Horrible night of coughing last night and painful because I was so dang tired, but things are fine during the day so I'm hopeful the coughing will lessen tonight.  I only slept four hours or so and then went to work, but amazingly, felt pretty good.  Didn't even realize that lunch time had passed so I went from breakfast at 8 till lunch at 2 with no problem.  My lunch was on the go and I had an apple with me, but didn't eat that - not the most well balanced meal - I'll have to work on that! (I didn't even realize till I sat down and wrote it out)

 

Dinner was delicious and it felt like a big old taco salad except with different flavors.  

No meditating.  No exercise.  Annoyed husband because I said I wouldn't go out to eat which we usually do on Saturdays.

But work is done and done well, the house is picked up, the kids are in bed, and the dog is content and I'm heading to sleep soon.

 

This Whole30 is always such a process.  I'm glad to be in it again and hoping to smooth out some of my rough edges in the coming days.  I'm also dreading the Kill All Things phase - maybe it will pass me by ;)

 

But before I go, I have to say that even though I'm super tired from not enough sleep and being run down, I'm also feeling better.  I'm not super bloated and I'm not caught in that unconscious questing for food that happens when I eat willy nilly whatever crosses my path.

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Day 5 and I'm still here.  Just read some posts by people who are on Day 10, 12 and 14.  Ohhhhh - I wish I was there too, but I will be.  It's funny how far away it seems when you're on this side of those numbers, yet I'm already at day five and that seemed very far away not so long ago.

 

Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, spinach, and an apple

Lunch: Clean hot dogs, with spinach and sauerkraut and mustard - so good

Dinner: Spicy Ginger chicken from 21 Day Sugar Detox with onions, roasted beets, broccoli, and cauliflower, and some acorn squash.

Dinner was a feast and my plate reminded me of Thanksgiving.  My roasted vegetables had just the right amount of salt on them and were delicious.

 

I slept last night for the first time in a week.  I think I logged about six hours and those six hours were decent hours.  I have renewed hope for tonight!!!  

 

We worked outside today on the house and it went well.  I was in a bad mood, but also enjoying what we were doing.  It was 30 degrees out and cold, but at the end, I found that I just felt better than I've been feeling.  I wish I felt slender and strong and fit, but for now, just "Better" is a good thing.  It's fascinating how I wasn't aware of how "unbetter" I felt when I was eating all that junk the last half a year.  (My home meals were still better than before my first Whole30, but still chock full of sandwiches and chocolate and processed foods sneaking into my life)

 

I'm now feeling a sense of hope that some of my aches and pains and low energy moments will go away.  It was tough telling the family that they could go out to eat, but I was staying home.  I'm glad they stayed and I know my husband liked the meal.

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Day Six:

I'm really very lucky to have the family I have.  When we did Whole30 as a family, we all were on board and we all saw the positives.  It's just so hard getting back into it and it's SO much easier to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my kids' lunches than the paleo lunches I made for a year.  Maybe it's not that much easier, because I got pretty good at it, but....I don't have any great answers.  It's easier.  The kids like it.  I don't have to think creatively, etc.  And I justify it by saying that everything else in their lunches is good and healthy and wholesome.  They are glad to support me in this Whole30, but they are not yet willing to commit.  I get that too.  My hand was forced by this cold and the asthma.

 

So....today I took my kids to a birthday party and there was pizza.  Lots and lots of pizza and also cake.  Oh, I wanted a piece and I caught my head thinking that I could just have one because it was a special event so therefore it was okay.  My head was thinking like I was on a diet and a "cheat" wouldn't set me back too much.  Oh, but it would.  I'm not on a diet or trying to count calories - I'm trying to give my body a break from the hard things and a boost of the good things.

 

It's funny, though, because my bigger reaction was that I didn't want my kids to eat it.  I thought about my daughter's skin and about their bowel movements and I let it go and let it be.  They're kids and a birthday party with pizza and friends is a good thing.  As well, they go home and are surrounded by healthy things so it doesn't really throw anything out of balance.  But I was astounded at how huge the servings of cake were and by the double sized cups of juice - so much sugar - so much food.

 

And I got through it!  And I came home and had a pumpkin custard and then some eggs and then an apple and felt unfilled, but knew I'd had enough, so I left for work.  And I'm proud of myself for getting through another day and I'm looking forward to the double digit days.

 

Breakfast: Pumpkin custard with coconut milk and chia seeds

Lunch: Roasted vegetables, two hard boiled eggs, acorn squash

Dinner: Pumpkin custard, scrambled eggs with spinach and sauerkraut, apple, seaweed

Sleep: Off an on from 10 till midnight and then a fairly solid six and a half hour stretch.  I feel hopeful that tonight will be even better, but I'd better get off this computer, drink my magnesium tea, and get to bed! :)

 

And you know what I just realized?  I got all my planning done for my work on Saturday.  I'm done early!  I like to be done a bit early, but rarely am I this level of done.  It feels good which should be the motivator in itself, but I have a sneaking suspicion it's my body and mind feeling a little less bogged down with crappy food.  Now if I could tackle the clutter in the home and the plans for next week! :)

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Day Seven!!!  I'm beat.  Last night was disappointing as far as sleep.  I coughed, fell asleep, coughed, woke up, peed, slept, woke up, coughed, etc.  And then the day was a busy one, though not stressful, just busy.  And I'm weary.  Not tired, but just kinda low on the energy scale.  Things got done today, but things did not get done with zest.  

 

I just looked at the Whole30 Timeline and I am indeed right on track for days six and seven.  I then saw that I might experience tight pants the next couple days.  Ah heck.  It's okay.  As long as I keep sticking to this, I'm cool with tight pants.  There's a fear that hangs over everything that I will cop out and start eating those other foods and I know they are powerfully addicting for me.  This forum helps me immensely.  The daily posts allow me to keep my focus and I'm so thankful the forum is here.

 

Meal One: Scrambled eggs, spinach, tomatoes

Meal Two: Tuna Fish, spinach, red onions, and tomatoes all lightly cooked up - yum

Meal Inbetween: Cashews with my son on the sofa

Meal Three: Sweet potatoes with spices, chicken thighs, stir fry of cabbage, onion, salmon, red pepper

 

The cashews are dangerous.  They're so good.  But everything I'm eating is so good.  It's rather fun to notice that I keep thinking my meals are really really tasty.  I don't think I was as aware of this a week ago.  I still eat by the computer or standing in the kitchen, but I'm enjoying the food, even if I'm not savoring it yet - it's as if my food is something special! - which of course it is.

 

Day seven completed. 

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Day Eight.  Eight Eight Eight! 

 

Breakfast: Duck egg with spinach, kimchi, and cherry tomatoes

Lunch: Two cans of tuna with spinach and tomatoes (not as good as yesterday).  An apple.

A few cashews mid-afternoon

Dinner: Halibut with tomato sauce, spaghetti squash, roasted beets and carrots

 

Wow - doesn't sound so bad when I look at my meals, but I feel like I was searching for food and cheated - I think I had another apple that I can't remember, but whatever I did have, it was within bounds.

 

I slept fairly decently last night and probably got at least seven hours!!!  But late this afternoon I noticed a new tickle in my throat and my cough is feeling loose as if I'm fighting something new.  Dangnabbit.  I drank Apple Cider Vinegar in hot water earlier this evening and just now.  It seems to help loosen things up.

 

There's a part of me that feels I deserve the instant reward of better health for my eight days of effort.  It ain't happening that fast I know, and I also know that I'd be in far worse shape if I wasn't eight days into this, but I still want it.  The process of getting healthy is not a fast one - just slow and steady.

 

Energy - not feeling particularly snazzy, but I did work on a de-cluttering project for the first time in months and months and have plans to do more tomorrow.  Perhaps I'm feeling better than I realize.

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Day Nine and I got through it.  I admit, I thought of cheating!!!  I gave my kids some trail mix that had candied ginger in it - ohhhh it looked so good and it's relatively healthy.  I thought, "It's just a bit", but I did not have any.  Later I found myself looking at my chewable calcium pills.  Calcium versus a little soy lecithin while on Whole30?  I know.  I knew.  Cheating.  Not okay.  Not cool.  I did not have any.

 

Breakfast: Eggs, spinach, kimchi

Lunch: Halibut, spinach, spaghetti squash with tomato sauce

Dinner: Lamb chop, sweet potatoes, carrot soup

A few cashews and an apple somewhere during the day

 

So I made it.  Phew.  I've also got a new cold.  There was lots of congestion this morning and now as evening approaches it's coming back, but during the day it wasn't an issue.  I did sleep last night almost seven hours.  Hopefully that happens tonight as well and hopefully I'm able to stave off this cold with my new super healthy system. ;)

 

I didn't get much done today, but I did read a book and that was a nice treat.  Tomorrow is a busy day working out in the cold and I suppose a mellow day today is not too bad of a thing.

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Day Ten!  Double Digits?!?!?!  Yay.  The hardest part is the starting I think, but it's still hard to stick with it too.  Luckily this cold and coughing of mine is like a flashing red light reminding me exactly why eating well is in my best interest.  If I was healthy right now, I'm pretty certain I would have suggested going out to eat tonight.

 

My husband and I worked all day outside in freezing temperatures on the house and we did a good job, but it was the kind of day that deserves a salty tasty meal and a couple beers.  Alas, I wasn't gonna do it.  I thought about telling my husband he could just go out, but really my kids are still fighting colds and they don't need the foods that irritate.  So, I cooked up some lamb and lots of onions and we ate what we had and it was fine and after we ate, the craving to go out wasn't there.  I'm lucky to have a family that is on board in a not on board way (their french toast this morning smelled really really good).

 

Breakfast: Two duck eggs, spinach, kimchi

Lunch: Halibut, hard boiled egg, lara bar (little lacking on the veggies I notice!)

Dinner: Lamb chops, onions and more onions, mushrooms, acorn squash

 

My digestive system is not so ideal the past couple days.  Things go through quickly and a little too easily if you know what I mean.  I took digestive enzymes twice today and I can tell they help.  I'm not sure the reason, but will trust it will clear up in a few days.

 

Big work day tomorrow and a party afterwards.  I feel stressed.  And I still haven't begun meditating or exercising!!!

But I feel I have enough on my plate and for now, until I can start logging some decent sleep hours, I think it's okay.  I know that meditating and exercising will both benefit me so it's a bit goofy that I'm not doing them, but the days already feel so busy and the coughing wears one down.  Hopefully I'll get things together enough to set my official goals this coming week.

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Day 11 and what a busy day it was!  I didn't plan my meals very well, but I got through the day and the people around me had a good time.  I'm a bit edgy feeling from this cough and this new virus that the kids also have (such goopy eyes and noses and coughs this morning from all of us).  I coughed a bunch last night and had a small asthma attack.  THAT was the thing that I'd eliminated after doing my first Whole30 and kinda sticking to it for a number of months.  Alas, my body is not as resilient as it was and the asthma attack is a sure fire smack dab in my face red flag that I need to be doing exactly what I'm doing.  It's good to have these reminders I suppose.

 

Breakfast: Three scrambled eggs, some almonds and raisins

Lunch: Almonds and raisins and a hard boiled egg an hour later

Dinner: Bratwurst, sauerkraut, an entire acorn squash

 

So my breakfast and lunch were a disaster.  I didn't realize we had no spinach till I got up this morning and I had to rush out early and we didn't seem to have any quick and easy vegetables to have with my eggs.  My lunch was a fail as well.  I didn't even eat till I ran home at two and it certainly wasn't well balanced, nor following the template.  But, I'm still on board and learning from the mistakes.

 

The evening just ended.  Friends were over and they had bratwurst in buns that looked oh so good, but I stuck to my foods and it was okay.

 

I'm now drinking some Apple Cider Vinegar in hot water and preparing for bed.  I assume tonight will be a lousy night of sleep, but maybe it will be better than last night and that wouldn't be so bad.  I do have another book to read and I'm enjoying the time I've spent this past week on reading books.  It's such a welcome treat after those years of no books when the kids were little.

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Thanks, Annyshay.  I wish I felt better!  I don't feel sick sick, but I had an absolutely miserable night with two asthma attacks and non-stop coughing all night.  I was sitting up hacking away and falling asleep in between coughs.  Not the best night.  My day was relatively okay.  No horrendous coughing during the day and no other overt cold symptoms so to the outside observer, I probably looked okay.  But I was real low on the spunkiness scale.  

 

We had a sit around the house kind of day which was good.  I read some.  I did crafts with the kids.  I cooked.  I sat.  I did dishes.  Nothing exciting going on here, but that was a-okay.

 

Breakfast: Seaweed, pumpkin crepes (the kids pulled out the cookbooks when they first woke up and made requests)

Lunch: Butternut squash with balsamic vinegar from 21 Day Sugar Detox, leftover fish

Dinner: Roasted cabbage with mustard sauce (skinnyms.com), focaccia pizza crust (21 Day Sugar Detox) with tomatoes, peppers, and spinach

After Dinner: Gelatin 

 

The pumpkin crepes and the focaccia pizza crust are technically not Whole30 approved.  They're are legit ingredients, but they are like SWPO - like trying to recreate old ways with new foods.  I can't argue it, but I do want to honor the contributions of my kids and their menu choices and support of all things paleo.  They're amazing - my kids.  I mean, they're also little sugar hounds, but luckily most of their sugar comes from apples, bananas and raisins.  It seems like a pretty good thing that they are snacking on nature's foods and so willing to either eat what we have for dinner or not eat without complaints.

 

I also love that they contribute to the meal planning.  I picked up some sweet potatoes per my daughter's request to make a Bird's Nest breakfast hash this week with sausage and eggs (Paleo Effect).  I picked up some more coconut milk and mushrooms to make a breakfast quiche per my son's request.  The quiche is tricky because I've been using traditional pie crusts.  Maybe I'll just put some of the filling in a rameken for myself instead of trying to create a paleo crust, though probably the family would benefit from the paleo crust over the traditional.  We'll see how my energy goes this week.

 

I have big plans to focus focus focus on work tomorrow till I have things ready for next weekend'.  It was so nice being ahead of the game last week and I was able to read some books as a result of the free time.  Even if I'm dragging tomorrow, I want to get things done.  And you know, I just realized, that even though my body is dragging and my chest hurts and I'm tired of coughing, my mind is relatively okay.  I could sit here and actually work.  I'd rather read or read junky news on the internet, but my mind isn't foggy and sleepy.  That is a good sign.

 

Day 12 completed.

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Day 13 - Last night's sleep was rocky at first until I tossed my current inhaler and broke out a new one.  It seemed to be more effective and I fell to sleep sometime between one and two.  I was up at seven fifteen and those sleeping hours were good ones.  One of these nights I'll start logging my typical 8 hour sleeps, but not yet.  It's no fun going to sleep when you can't fall asleep.  Yet, when I'm healthy, I love going to sleep on time and waking up 8 or 9 hours later.

 

Breakfast: Two duck eggs, spinach, kimchi

Lunch: Two clean hot dogs, spinach, sauerkraut, seaweed

Dinner: Pumpkin, banana, chia seed custard.  A bite of salmon that tasted weird.  An apple.  Some almonds.  A bite of squash.  

 

There was some dissatisfied cravings today.  No cravings for anything in particular, but just for something.  I think my lunch was lame.  I often have more vegetables and heartier foods.   Hot dogs and spinach just isn't the same.  Tomorrow is not looking any better.  Nothing is thawing in the fridge.  No vegetables are sitting on the counter waiting to be used.  The leftovers in the fridge are from several days ago and not so appealing.  Obviously, I need to plan out my meals tomorrow morning so that I don't fall into the trap of no food.

 

I've still got a rotten cough, but in some ways I'm thankful.  I mean, I hate it and would gladly not have it, but I think it's also helping me stay the course.  The thought of a beer or restaurant food or a donut makes my chest hurt.  I think my body knows it's inflamed and knows those foods will only aggravate things.  It would be nice if my body wasn't so reactive, but that's my lesson to learn and hopefully I'll get it solidly figured out before I'm too much older.  There's no way I could make it as an 80 year old with these nasty strong body shaking coughs.

 

Energy wise today?  Stayed home and did a lot of sitting, but I also got a lot of work done.  I'm in pretty decent shape for this upcoming weekend which is nice because then I can work on other work, enjoy my children, work on other projects, and maybe read another book.  And, I volunteered for a community event later this week.  That shouldn't be a big deal, but it's a sign that I'm feeling like I have enough room in my life to fit those things in.  I haven't felt that way in a while and it's nice.  I wonder if it's part because I'm eating better and have a better energy - even while hacking away ;)

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Day 14.

Last night was horrible.  Just coughing and asthma and I felt so frustrated.  Tonight I have the humidifier out and hopefully that will help.  I'm really dragging on the 3 hours of sleep I got, though, overall, I was a pretty decent person today and was a good mom and did a good job working, but I'm starting to really feel it.  It a vicious cycle.  You need sleep to heal, but you're sick so you can't get sleep. Bleh!

 

I also wanted to eat other foods today.  I didn't.  We don't have anything that I could eat.  Well, we do.  We have some good looking cheese squares and some bread and some peanut butter and jelly.  Amazingly, I've managed to catch myself from licking the knife after I make sandwiches for my kids.

 

Breakfast: Pumpkin chia seed custard

Lunch: Leftover Focaccia with tomatoes, peppers, onions, and lamb.  Leftover butternut squash.  Apple.

Dinner: Cauliflower.  Ground turkey cooked with spinach, onions and mushrooms and some hot sauce.

 

My nose is stuffy as opposed to runny.  It must be a positive sign I hope.  I'm so tired of writing about these colds!  I'd rather be writing about my goals....

 

What my goals will be when I am back on my feet:

1.  Eat Whole30

2.  Sleep 8 hours

3.  Exercise at least 20 minutes daily 

4.  Meditate for at least 5 minutes (ideally more, but at least five)

 

Those are my health goals.  I also have personal goals, but those I'm not going to record here.  For now, I need to get through this cold, get a couple of good nights of sleep under my belt, and then I'll start working on my daily goals. 

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Day 15 completed yesterday.  Sleep yesterday night was horrible.  Asthma and coughing and I couldn't catch a break, but I did have the humidifier on and I feel like that helped.  Last night was not so bad.  I slept in two hour chunks - waking up between sleep cycles to cough, use the inhaler, and then back to SLEEP!  It was not a full night of sleep and I was (and still am) very tired in my head today, but I'm hopeful that things are improving.  The humidifier is staying on and I'm still planning on taking it easy.  Outside, it's cold and dusty as all get out so I'm staying in.  

 

Meals yesterday:

Breakfast: Eggs, spinach, tomatoes

Lunch: Sweet potato, clean hot dog, apple

Snack: Almonds and a few raisins

Dinner: Lamb roast, cauliflower

 

In the morning I was at a party with lots of delicious looking pumpkin cookies, scones, and humous.  I drank my coffee, sparkling water, and then heated up my sweet potato in the microwave and ate that like an apple.  It was good having things I could put in my mouth and I'm glad I got through it.  Halloween candy though, will be a challenge.  I love the little Snickers bars when they've been frozen and the Reese's Peanut Bars.  Ahhh, I will live (and live a lot more healthily!).  And once I'm through the 30 days, I'll make paleo sweets that will be tasty and won't take me down the path of destruction and addictive foods.

 

Today is just beginning and beginning okay.  I have a little cough, a little sore throat, a little heaviness in my head, but I'm caught up on work and, while I'm not getting ahead for any of my projects, I'm not falling behind.  I can't wait, however, for this virus asthma crap to pass and to be able to start running or walking or just having some zest to get out and hike.

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Just stopping by to say: hang in there, Emma!  I'm sad you're sick, but SO impressed that you are feeding yourself so well through this!  The virus will pass, and Halloween will come and go, and soon you will have the great feeling of accomplishment of completing your Whole30!!

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Day 16 over and done with!  My PJ's are fitting better.  I thought my jeans were too, but then I washed them, and they weren't quite so loose.  :)  They are fitting better however.  I'd really been on a very fast weight gaining climb the last few months and was amazed at the extreme tightness of clothes.  It's good to have things going back to a more acceptable space - still will be overweight, but not as horribly so.  It's really so much more fun to put on clothes and have them hang loose instead of catch on chunky body parts.  I'm looking forward to mentally feeling more attractive as things loosen up.

 

And it seems like I've been doing this for ages so clothes should be super loose.  Ha.  They're not.  I've been doing this for two weeks.  And previous to that?  I'd been eating incredible amounts of calories in the form of junk and carbs and more junk and big servings.  How fast one can do damage! :)

 

I ended up watching a neighbors babies most of the day when she was called away.  It went well, but I didn't get any of my own stuff done around the house or on work.  Late afternoon I found myself with a sore throat again and was super tired - like crazy tired.  I'd started dinner, but then went and lay down on the couch and dozed off for ten minutes or so.  After eating, I still hung out on the couch and played with the kids feeling too tired to be up and about, but now, I'm doing okay aside from a cough.

 

I'm thankful for my husband and my kids.

 

Breakfast:  Two scrambled duck eggs

Lunch: Roasted cabbage, lamb

Snack: Almonds

Dinner: Red Kuri squash, lamb, grilled mushrooms and onions

 

My breakfast was not so balanced.  My snack was not a mini meal.  There is some room for improvement.  Our fridge desperately needs some more leftovers in it so that I have some choices to draw on.  Ultimately, I'm pleased that I've managed to pull things off so well.  Who would have ever predicted that I'd be eating roasted cabbage by choice! (And really liking it)

 

Now, off to read a bit and then hopefully to sleep.  I've got the humidifier going, the inhaler already inhaled, and some natural vicks like stuff for my chest to hopefully help out.  

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Day 17 - Sleep last night was the best so far.  I woke up between each sleep cycle, used the inhaler, and went soundly back to sleep.  Thank goodness! I probably only logged 6 hours of sleep, but I'll take it!

 

I also had a person ask me if I'm losing weight.  Well, yes, I said, but it's really just a little piercing of the inflated bubble I'd become.  I picture myself a bit like Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  I've been plumping up and plumping up and the last two weeks, I've deplumped a touch.  Another pair of my pj pants feel looser and I think my face looked nice and healthy and thinner in the mirror today.  

 

These are all good things and should be motivating, but they also make things feel a bit overwhelming.  I caught myself today feeling threatened and panicked that I'm going to have to eat like this forever.

 

Well, um, yes.  If I want to be a healthy parent and healthy older person, than my body has clearly told me that I need to be feeding it radically different.  It's just so hard to embrace that idea all the time and it seems so illogically easy to cheat and eat snickerdoodles with real butter and peanut butter chocolate cookies.....do you see what I am doing to myself!  

 

It's my brain fighting the changing way.  It's the addictions trying to get back in control.  It's lots of little arguments trying to make me cave.  I'm not going to cave and I'm going to re-embrace paleo baking after this is over and I'm going to somehow have to really really make it non negotiable that my health relies and depends upon maintaining healthy eating ways.  Ugh.

 

Breakfast: Duck egg, seaweed, apple

Lunch: Can of tuna, sweet potato, almonds

Dinner: Pumpkin chili with onions served over spaghetti squash and spinach

 

My breakfast and lunch were a bit bleak. 

 

Busy day tomorrow and I'm yawning now.  I'm going to read a bit, fill up the humidifier, and hopefully get some sleep.

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Day 18.

I slept last night a reasonable amount.  In fact, it was so reasonable, that I woke with a neck kink from having my neck in one place for some long!  I'm not at 8 hours yet, but it was certainly a good six and maybe more.

 

Tonight I've got a diffuser running with some essential oils.  My friend swears on them.  I figure it won't hurt and I might as well try it out.

 

Today was a busy day, but it went fine.  I expected to get really weary in the late afternoon, but I didn't.  I didn't get loads done once evening happened, but I did finish a book and read another one (Persepolis).  Reading seems like a pretty luxurious thing to do and I'm enjoying the time doing so.

 

Eating today - oooo, not so good.

 

Breakfast:  Egg tea (Boiling water added to two eggs in the blender with spices and coconut oil).  No veggies.

Lunch: Piece of seaweed.  Mealy apple.  (I was working and then forgot and then not hungry)

Dinner: Salmon tacos (without the shell) made by my husband: cabbage, salmon, onions, peppers, mushrooms, celery (pretty much every random thing he found in the fridge).  REALLY good.

 

I love that my family wanted to go out to eat tonight, but stayed in and that my husband made the meal and it turned out well.  

 

I sat next to a person today who was coughing and sneezing and today was the first day of their cold - contagious zone!!!!  I hope I'm not hit by another one, but if so, it's just another clear message that I need to stick to this Whole30 type thing.

 

And that's about it.  I feel like my body is feeling thinner and if I could just get a full night's sleep, I might be ready to start incorporating some goals.  I certainly feel better physically (even with the colds) and mentally than I did before I started.  Before, I felt bloated and just wanted to eat more and mentally I felt bleh and out of control.  I still consume too much coffee and I rely on it, but a step at a time.  I'm trying for long term changes and each of these changes takes a chunk of emotional energy to make it happen and an even bigger chunk to stick with it.

 

Till tomorrow.

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I slept 7 blessed hours last night!  So nice to wake up and just know it was time to get up and to know I'd been in one spot for all that time.  There was a lot of coughing after I woke up, but all in all, things are looking up.  My family slept in too so I've had a nice hour to myself to buy some grass fed meats online and read the paper. (But here they come now down the stairs :))

 

Beginning Day 19 today.

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