Keeping Calm and Carrying On

[GoJo09]

Hi Ladies!

 

April, I hope you're recovering well? Is the surgery going to put you out of action for long?

 

Emma, you sound like you just need to look after yourself! Good on you for having the guts to quit your job and make yourself and your kids the number one priority for a while!

 

So, I have been eating badly all week, plus I've had an alcoholic drink (or two or three...) every day since...oh wow, Wednesday week! Definitely no alcohol for a few days for me! But last night as I was having a glass of wine and eating a tonne of ice cream, I thought to myself "I feel like going for a run". I haven't run since I did a half marathon in May, partly because of injuries, and partly because in July I signed up with Jason Seib, and he is very anti-cardio. But last night I just thought, I want to go for a run, I feel good when I run, and doing things Jason's way is leading to weight gain (yes, I might be slowly getting healthier, but I don't think that running is inherently unhealthy). So, this morning I got up and went for a run - 3.5km of interval repeats. And then I came home and ate a mango (yay, mango season!) and a coffee with chocolate protein powder (not so great, but I wanted easy protein and I'm going out for a late brunch).

 

I tried the less is more approach to exercise for 3 months, and it has led to strength gain, weight gain (some of it muscle), and not quite unhappiness, but certainly not joy in my body. So, now I will spend the next 3 months doing what I want to do - run a few times a week, swim a few times a week, and hit the gym 3 times a week.

 

I do need to reign in the food though - icecream is NOT my friend!g

 

I hope you guys have a great weekend - I'm off to meet my friend's new baby - can't wait!

[AprilS]

Hi  Emma and Jo-

 

Emma, sorry for your health issues.  Sounds like eating well and managing stress was the right place to start.  It is true that knowing 'what to do and why' don't always translate into actually doing it, for me anyway.  I need momentum and support.  These conversations with Jo and now you really help me track where I am and help motivate me to get back on track when I fall off. I love being able to say the truth about where I am in a No Judgment zone.

 

A therapist told me it is the nature of reality to go from order to disorder.  We have to apply energy to maintain order.  (clean your kitchen, it gets dirty again etc) So the thing is repeatedly getting back on track when we notice we are off.  In the "Dear Melissa"  blog she has a series of 3 posts called 'Dear Melissa, What Do You Eat?"  She talks about the same thing.  I loved the quote, 'what has been seen cannot be unseen' Meaning, we have been changed by the W30 process and the new understanding is permanently in there.

 

Books I am reading!  

Letters From Paris, a true story about a copy writer from NY who sells everything to go live in Paris, finds a new career and love.  Very enjoyable.

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin about just that.  She has a nice website and her own 12 commandments for happiness.  She suggest each person formulate their own.

Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst.  So good.  About things we need to grieve and let go of to grow and move on with our lives.  Such as lost relationships, or stages of life or dreams.  It is not sad, it is very freeing.

 

I am also watching "Call the Midwife"  a great BBC series on Netflix.  I am actually loving the vacation and the excuse to read and watch movies!  

 

Jo I can totally relate to the too many days drinking etc.  That is exactly what I was doing.  Sometimes I have to just ride it out and do the minimal damage possible until I am ready to get back on track.  

 

I have been to Alaska!  Very beautiful.  Funny that we have already had snow in Oklahoma, and you have not.  Have you seen Northern Exposure, the tv show set in AK?  We have been watching the dvd's after dinner lately.  

 

Jo I agree 100%, the thing is to know your own body.  I feel that way even in W30, I had to figure out how to apply the rules to me.

 

Yesterday's food:

B:  shredded brussels sprouts sautéed in butter w a poached egg on top

L:  Bone broth w carrot and zucchini and chicken, apple

D:  steak w mushrooms and onions, acorn squash, mashed potatoes, 2 'paleo' choc chip cookies my daughter made me.

[Emma]

Hey Jo and April,

 

I love running!  I think I smiled, Jo, when you said you went out for a run.  It feels good and sure seems like a good thing to do if you can do it.  Makes me envious (in a good way) - good on you for taking your body out for a run!

 

April, I like that idea about order into disorder.  It's so true and it's such a constant battle.  Sometimes it's not so hard to keep things from sliding, but other times it's a real challenge.  I just opened a tab up with the Dear Melissa stuff to go read (and a tab with Jason Sieb to go read that too)

 

I've only read The Happiness Project and haven't heard of the other two. I wish our library was open on Sundays because it's on Sundays that I always seem to want to look for books!  I'm currently reading Americanah and some book on my phone by Gillian Flynn, but I can't remember the title (not Gone Girl).  I have a really hard time reading real books during the day, especially with people visiting, so Americanah is being neglected which is a shame because I really really like it.

 

Hope you both enjoy your day visiting babies, Jo, and getting well, April.

[AprilS]

Hi Emma and Jo,

 

I am still on R&R.  It is so unlike me to slow down and lay around the house, I am still OK with it so far.  Surgery was last thursday.   Sorry if this is TMI, kind of gross, but they put a tube in to let the fluid drain out.  Anyway I think I get the tube out today and stitches out tomorrow, just in time for Thanksgiving!  I am happy to say 1 I am OK and 2 I ate no junk except day before yesterday when I had wine and a hershey bar.  

 

The fact that I can eat right when I want to, even under difficult circumstances, speaks volumes to me.  It is a lot more "I don't want to" than "I can't" when I fall off course.  That realization is actually very empowering, to know that I really have the ability to make good choices when I want to.  The truth is that we all have the ability inside us, we just have to believe it and  strengthen it through practice.  Loving myself when I fail instead of cringing with shame seems to help too.  

 

Yesterday:

B:  Coffee with coconut cream and a raw egg

L:  last of bone broth w carrot zucchini, potato and chx

D:  Thai green curry chx w cauliflower rice.  Grapes and a few cashews

 

One thing I have learned after the W30 that I think will really help next time is the importance of paying attention to hunger and fullness and NOT snacking between meals.  That is working for me in 'real life' when not actually in a W30.  Looking forward to trying again in  January.  I hope you guys want to too!

I sure enjoy your company  :-)

Happy Thanksgiving.  Warmly,

April

[AprilS]

Morning ladies!

 

I am about to put an 18 pound turkey and a 10 pound ham in the oven.  Our menu for today:

 

Ham (for the in-laws, not my tradition)

Turkey & stuffing

Mashed potatoes and gravy

Roasted sweet potatoes with Maple Bourbon glaze and toasted almonds

Roasted root vegetables:  turnips, parsnips, carrots, onions

Biscuits

Apple Pie

Pumpkin Pie with whipping cream

Panforte 

Prosecco and Cabernet

 

We like to cook, so everything is homemade.  I made Panforte for the first time ever yesterday and I made it GF.  You can see the recipe in David Lebovitz's website.  Yum!

 

Here is my thanksgiving strategy:  Have the protein and veg and a very small serving of whatever else I really really want.  Including one glass of wine and one dessert.  I want to the total amount of food eaten to be reasonable, I don't want to feel stuffed at the end!  We eat at 1:00.  So whatever I want more of I can have for supper tonight.

 

I am grateful today for w30 and for you two, my online friends Jo and Emma who help me figure out this part of life.  I am grateful for my family, my home, having a job that I love, my bike, my cycling partner and my team and health to enjoy it all.  I am grateful to have all my children close in proximately and in relationship.  All in all life is good!

 

Warmth and good wishes to you both!  Happy Thanksgiving!

April

[Emma]

Ah April, You say such good stuff!  When you spoke about having the ability inside of us, but needing to learn how to strengthen it - so true!  And then the part about shame.  Shame is such ugly stuff isn't it - so hurtful and non-helpful!  I think this entire Whole30 process and allowed me to be more compassionate for others because it's hard to do things and we each have our own challenges.   I know I really went overboard this summer with eating and sneaky eating and feeling bloated and fat and depressed, but I don't think I felt shame about falling off the wagon.  Or heck - maybe I did, but now that I'm back on the wagon, I've forgotten, but certainly I feel no shame for it now - just a revisited sense of how hard it is to do those things that are hard for us.

 

Your Thanksgiving meal sounds delicious and made me realize that I really could have done a cleaner version if I'd just thought a bit about it.  I like the sound of your bourbon sweet potatoes!  I hope your day is a good one and I, too, am very thankful for Whole30 and people like you and Jo who allow us to build networks of support and friendship.

[AprilS]

IMG_0840.jpeg

[AprilS]

Well I stuck to my plan except that I had 1 glass of Champagne in the hour before the meal and 1 cabernet with lunch.  

 

B nothing, not hungry

L small servings of each:  turkey, stuffing, mashed potato and gravy, root vegetables, small slices of apple pie pumpkin pie and panforte enough to equal one normal size piece.  1 glass each wine and champagne.

D  nothing not hungry

 

I was full definitely but not stuffed.  We had a lovely time lingering at the table enjoying the conversation and then a nice walk through our neighborhood afterwards.  The fall leaves are so pretty right now.  Proud of myself for not eating in the evening when not hungry.  I've never skipped the leftovers for dinner part before.  :-)  

 

Recipe Links:

http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2014/11/crispy-sweet-potato-roast/

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/sweet-potatoes-with-bourbon-and-maple

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2012/02/panforte-panpepato-italian-fruitcake-recipe/

 

Hope you are all doing well,

April

[AprilS]

oops forgot to make a plan for something do to the day after and for all the leftover food.  Double danger, not enough activity and too much traditional food around.  

 

So I ended up doing a tiny bit of shopping early to take advantage of the sales.  Then lunch and a walk for a couple miles along the river with my daughter.  Then I had a big nap (still just a week post op).  I went out again for about an hour and then we had my daughter and son-in-law and his parents over to drive around and look at Christmas lights displays and eat the rest of thanksgiving food.  And we still have ham, turkey and pie left.  Talk about overkill.  I am making less quantity next year.

 

B:  nothing

L:  turkey breast, mashed potatoes and gravy, root veg, 2 GF cookies

D: 2 glasses red wine, ham, stuffing, mashed potato and gravy, pecan pie

 

Too much food yesterday!  I need to get back on track with food and plan some activities!  I think we'll put up Christmas lights and decorate the tree. I would like to go for another walk.  Temperature got up to 65' yesterday.  I am longing for my bike.  But I can't ride til I get permission from the doctor.  I was too windy yesterday anyway.

 

Jo, how is the dating going? and What about the new job?!  

Emma, tell me about your thanksgiving?  Did you host at your house?  What did you serve and how did it go?

[AprilS]

for 11/29

B protein bar while on a 2.5 hour hike

L:  2 poached eggs, ham

D:  chicken breast, small slice of tenderloin, arugula, green beans, pumpkin seeds.

 

Yay!  back on track yesterday in spite of having a party to go to last night.  I drew on my new realization that I do indeed have the ability inside me.  I just had to make a decision, then tell a couple friends to make it definite.  This getting back on track after only a day or two is huge for me, especially during the holiday season.  I could have just gone into a free fall of eating and drinking til new year's .  So grateful for new tools and new sense that i can do this!

 

Hope that you are both well.

April

[Emma]

We did host and it went really well.  We had a number of clean foods such as mashed sweet potatoes with horseradish and lemon, turkey, roasted carrots, and a beet and carrot salad.  However, we also had non-clean options like stuffing and drinks.  I went into the holiday with the attitude that I would enjoy things and not worry and that went fine, but I could feel the bloated and uncomfortable digestive system and then, the next day when I had to bake for a local bake sale, I caught myself popping peanut butter m&m's.  They didn't even taste good, but I popped them anyway.  And it was with that behavior and hopes to go out and order a reuben that I realize I have a very quick slippery slope.  However, all of our foods at home are homemade and processed free and we had a good time with family and friends so I'd give myself a C or even a B as long as I get back to that nice space where I was happy and content to be eating clean.

[AprilS]

Yum sounds great.  I would like the sweet potato recipe.   I can relate to eating something sweet even though it doesn't taste good.  I think it stimulates the pleasure center of the brain like a drug and has a different purpose to the pleasure of eating something good.  I feel like I'm just getting a fix when I do that!

Plus I love Reuben sandwiches!  Yum!  

 

I had one really good day and then "fell so fast I hit my head on the way down"  to quote Melissa.

 

I was feeling isolated and had no purpose to my day (bad combo for an extrovert overachiever!)  I had the post holiday let down.  I haven't been on my bike or seen my friends since 11/20 and was really really wanting the bike and companionship.  So many endorphins I was missing out on! Plus I just felt lonely.  I didn't tell anyone about my surgery bc I thought I would be back on my feet in a day or two, no big deal.  HA!  Here I am stuck at home after 11 days.   

 

Those are not excuses, just warning signs to look for next time.  I held out til mid afternoon, then had a piece of pumpkin pie for lunch.  Met a teammate after the team ride and had a couple glasses of wine.  I felt so much better, that I had a couple more at home.  :-(  Dinner was good, had chocolate after.  

 

Lesson?  Get those social needs met!  Go out in public or take a nap if too tired!  Throw out the leftovers sooner!  Your thoughts? 

 

B: Omlette with ham and green pepper

L Pumpkin pie

D wine wine wine, Homemade bone broth turkey chowder, GF cornbread, Salad w romaine, apple and walnuts, 5 chocolates.  FIVE!

[Emma]

Interesting how those social needs play such a huge role.  It just got me thinking about the times I don't eat which is when I'm traveling or trekking around a new place by myself or when I'm working on a project.  When I'm busy and on my own, I'm usually quite content, but with other people I often prefer to eat and certainly when I'm procrastinating I use food to distract myself from what I need to do.  If I was to apply this to my daily life when I begin questing for food, I guess I should get outside walking or get involved in a project - I've got enough of them!

 

Chocolates sound good - in fact, I'm gonna go have my daily calcium chocolate that I forgot about! 

[AprilS]

Back to work yesterday!  Yay!  Then in a bizarre twist, all my clients were "no Shows"  So weird on the day I really wanted people contact.  But my cycling partner knew I was feeling a little down and popped in unexpectedly for lunch.  I thought that was very kind and it made me feel less isolated/depressed.  

Also, unexpected, I started my period.  I guess I was unknowingly in the perfect storm, PMS, stuck at home, couldn't exercise and all that food...

 

Well, today I am clear to ride my bike on the trainer.  Going to hop on in about half an hour.  There is a spin class at the YWCA I could try, not sure I would like that though.  Do you guys do spin?

 

Still struggling to keep it between the lines.

B:  Coffee w coconut cream and a raw egg

L  Punjab eggplant and an apple

D  Roasted chicken, salad w apples and walnuts on lettuce, broccoli, 2 glasses red wine, peanut butter on celery