Starting tomorrow

[Jme2464]

I'm starting Whole30 tomorrow. I read over the website and went shopping (over the past two days) for most everything to get started. I've tried dozens of other plans and I've done well on several but I always manage to fall off the wagon and go back to terrible eating habits and now I'm up 14 lbs and totally disgusted with myself. I feel horrible, look horrible, I'm depressed, I have no motivation and I ache and am constantly fatigued. I've been to Doctor's and have had blood work done just to be dismissed saying that there is nothing significantly wrong to do anything further, although my blood work still puzzles them. All they want to do is put me on a birth control pill and chalk it up to peri-menopause. All I know is that I do not feel well and this time it has gotten out of control. It's time to do something about it, but I admit I'm scared. I want this to work as I want to feel better and lose weight. And I refuse to be put on prescriptions. I know I can do this as I've done similar things in the past, but I'm afraid my will power isn't what it used to be because of being depressed and not feeling well.