The self-care project

[jennor]

I want to get this started!

 

I just ran my 9th marathon and now I am in recovery mood. Training has been going well (despite small children with runny noses and me being on  immunosuppressants), yay! I have been pretty strict paleo since July last year, when I did my first Whole30 and realized that when it comes to my ulcerative colitis, It Starts With Food. Or at least, food matters. I have since done one more full Whole30 and several Whole10-14s when I fall head first into too much dark chocolate.

 

Since I am a goal setter, I of course had to sit down last night with a pen and paper and articulate what I hope to do with this round of Whole30. Some thoughts I have are:

 

• Work on the stress-food (sugar) connection. Put a leash on my sugar dragon. Or really, chocolate dragon. Food is not stress relief!
• Be mindful in my eating. Sometimes I eat without even thinking, just as a distraction or a mental break.
• Drink more. Replace some of that mindless snacking with a nice hot beveratge. Now that it is getting colder I can enjoy liquirice root tea, green tea, camomille tea, de-caf or even a cool glass of water instead.
• Sleep more. This is a constant balancing act. With two small-ish kids nights can be unpredictable. My husband is also a night owl who easily forgets that I have to get up to work 1½ hour before he dose in the morning.
• Give my body the best recovery I can. I know that my tummy gets upset when I eat sugar for example, and I want to give myself 30 clean, calm days of healthy food. That will be my early x-mas /holiday gift to myself.

 

Let's do this!

 

I'll be back later to log my food for the past days.

[jennor]

Day 1, 2014 10 22

 

This was a travel day, we went from Mallorca back to Sweden.

 

Sleep: 7h 30min. I woke up before the alarm.

 

Food:

Breakfast: 3 fried eggs, tomato, slice of parma ham, fresh tomato-garlic sauce, bowl of fresh pineapple, coffee. (hotel breakfast)

Lunch: 3 hardboiled eggs + the white from another one discarded by my daughter, handful almonds, pack of baby carrots and a side salad without dressing, apple. (on the plane)

Snack: 5 coconut-date-almond balls that I made for the plane to tide me over until dinner. So hungry! (These are kind of like less sweet, higher fat Lara bars, which you can't buy in Sweden)

Dinner: Marinara sauce with shrimp, tuna and mussels + an extra hardboiled egg. Scraping the bottle of the barrel when it comes to the fridge here...

 

Exercise: Rest day

[jennor]

Day 2 2014 10 23

 

Sleep: 6h 50 min. I was tired all day and felt kind of out of it. I had to really point out my husband that I needed to go to bed the night before. (He sleeps in longer, so he is always trrying to make me stay up later than I want to.) 

 

Food:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, tomatoes, an orange, coffee

Lunch: Pheasant wings, roasted carrots in different colors, big pile of different salads and veggies, apple vinegrette, slice cantalupe.

Snack: Orange.

Dinner: Marinated vegetables. Slow baked veal shank, roasted vegetables, fried thyme. (Out at an Italian restaurant. Delicious but small servings, so I was not completely full after dinner. My husband emptied the bread basket by himself and had a chocolate mousse for dessert, so he filled up better.)

Hardboiled egg (hungry before bed)

 

Exercise: 7.4 km (4.6 mi) run-commute. Legs are a bit stiff, and I took it slow.

 

Overall, a good day. I am happy that I choose the egg there before bed, it filled me up nicely without adding sugar.

[jennor]

Day 3 2014 10 24

Sleep: 6h 50 min That's ok, but I want closer to 7.5 hours.

Food:

Breakfast/postWO: 3 eggs, mini cucumber, orange, coffee

Lunch: flank steak, roasted turnips with fried capers and macadamia nuts, big salad, handful grapes, apple vinegrette.

Snack/preWO: big handful roasted almonds

Dinner: aubergine/onion/tomato/bacon stew with eggs. Big handful dried mulberries, de-caf.

Exercise: ran to work, 7.4 km plus home 2.2 km. total 9.6 km (6 mi)

[jennor]

Day 4 2014 10 25

Sleep: 7h 30 min Youngest one woke up coughing and came into our bed. We slept late.

Food:

Breakfast: eggs, veggie hash (sweet potato, aubergine, onion, apple), bacon, hot sauce, coffee.

Lunch: chicken thighs, moussaka, goat stew, salad

Dinner: baked salmon w lemon and rosemary, baked root vegetables, mayo w lemon zest and rosemary sprigs

We had guests and for dessert I baked apples from our garden with chopped almonds and dates. I know this probably is swypo, and I won't make it a habit. De-caf w coconut milk.

Exercise: My little streak around the park, stretching and foam rolling. Post-marathon recovery is going well so far.

[almcc]

Happy Day 4!!

 

My plan is to join you after I get well. Still got some nasty cold. No whining!  I'm hoping it's tomorrow.  Today I will eat well and avoid sweets.  And possibly cook tonight.  All your baked veg sound lovely.  And I will make some hard Boiled eggs. An after dinner egg sounds good!

 

Here's taking care of ourselves!!

[jennor]

Hey Ashley, I hope you feel better soon! That sounds like a long, hard cold. The "eggs after dinner"-rule worked well, so I am going back to that. Yesterday I had some dried fruit, which is not the best way for me to disconnect stress-sugar-relaxation. I just filled up the fridge with freshly boiled eggs, so now it is back to that! I look forward to you feeling better and joining in here!

Yesterday Day 5 2014 10 26

Sleep: 8h 30 min, yeeeees! So nice! We switched the clock to wintertime and somehow the kids slept in too.

Food:

Breakfast: fried eggs, veggie hash, hot sauce, coffee

Lunch: lamb sausage, roasted root veg from yesterday, baby spinach, mayo

Snack: I took pity on a clementine my youngest peeled and promptly discarded.

Dinner: lemon and garlic baked chicken, baked multicolored carrots, butternut, sweet potato, spinach salad. Handful mulberries, de-caf.

Exercise: 8.5 km easy run, stretch and foam rolling. My legs felt good.

[jennor]

Yesterday was food prep day. I have been wanting to make almond milk for my coffee, but I only had hazelnuts. It worked fine, but the taste is very hazelnutty, and I am not a huge hazelnut fan. It is still fun to put something in my coffee sometimes, but really, black tastes better.

I also roasted more of the carrots, butternut and sweet potatoes, and another tray of brussel sprouts with bacon and garlic.

Speaking of bacon, I have no problem finding bacon without sugar in my regular grocery stores. Sausage on the other hand... Yesterday the only kind I found was a lamb sausage and a Spanish chorizo that in turn contained wine. Needless to say, I went with the lamb.

One of my hot sauces contain corn starch, so that is out for the next 25 days as well. Luckily I have a chipotle sauce that contains only chilies, vinegar and spices. 30 days without any hot sauce would be hard!

I feel good. I haven't felt like killing anyone yet, despite day 4 and 5 falling on the weekend. I think it is because the only real difference between a whole 30 and my rearguard eats is that I don't off-road during the w30. I am so aware of how I reach for sugar when my kids freak out and I get stressed. They fight, scream, I try to problem solve and then walk on autopilot to the black "bread" box where we keep the treats. I open the lid, peak inside and find that it is empty. Then I remember the w30. Neurons, please make new connections in the next 25 days.

[jennor]

Day 6
2014 10 27

Today is difficult. I had a mammography screen a week or so ago, and instead of the usual "everything is looking good, see you 18 months from now"-letter I got called in for a follow-up. I didn't think too much about it since I don't have breast cancer in my family. I was sure it was just a speck on the x-rays, and they would take a few more images and tell me it was nothing. Instead it turned out to be the full follow-up exam; more x-rays, ultrasound and  6 needle core biopsies because I have some changes in one breast. It is really early, if there is even something, but still. I'll get the results on November 6th.

It just sucks. I am fairly young. I have young kids. I need to stay here. I can't even think about dying and leaving my kids behind.

Do you know what I feel the most today? Angry. I feel angry for (maybe) having to fight this fight, for having to go for follow-ups and having to have this nagging worry in my mind. I know it makes no sense whatsoever, but it feels unfair. I am already fighting ulcerative colitis. Why on earth should I also have breast cancer to worry about. Completely illogical, but today I am angry with the universe.

I was laying there on the bed in the humming mammography machine and I just wanted to get up and leave. Go home to my regular life, my people. I am a very compliant patient, but I don't enjoy hospitals and doctors and I feel like I have my fair share of that already. I can't make it make sense.

I have not dived into chocolate, but I have been eating oranges and dried mulberries. I am staying compliant and sticking with this. It is the only way I know of that has healed me before.

It feels kind of petty and meaningless to do this today, but here it goes:

Sleep: 6h 45 min. Went to bed too late.

Food:
Breakfast: 2 fried eggs, sweetotato, aubergine, onion hash, wilted spinach, coffee
Lunch: tuna salad w mayo, apple and onion over baby spinach. 2 oranges, clementine, dried mulberries.
Dinner: marinara sauce w shrimp, mussels and tuna

Exercise: not allowed after the biopsies, so rest day

[jennor]

Day 7

2014 10 28

 

Is it really a week already?

 

Sleep: I overslept this morning. I was afraid I wouln't be able to sleep after yesterdays news so I took melatonin last night and for some reason my alarm never went off this morning. I woke up 15 min before the car pool is supposed to leave from our meeting place. It was a fast exit for me! At least I got plenty of sleep: 8h 40 min!

 

Food:

Breakfast: I forgot my breakfast at home since I overslept and had to rush off. I ate what I could find at work. 2 apples, clemetine, handful hazelnuts, coffee.

Lunch: Brisket, baked root vegetables, lots of salad, a few plums and a handful grapes.

Dinner: Chicken strips with ginger, chili and lime, baked root veg, big salad with avocado, tiedye tomatoes (so good!) and spinach. Mayo and chipotle sauce. De-caf and dried mulberries.

 

Exercise: Not sure, but if the biopsy wound is healed and I have the energy I'll go for a run tonight. I need some time alone in my head. If not, I'll just take another rest day. ETA: No running today.

[almcc]

jennor

Happy day 7.  Didn't start yesterday. Hoping to tomorrow. Still have a nasty cough and taking cough medicine.  I ordered 2 new cookbooks. Excited about that.

Will work out tomorrow - 1st time in 10 days.   Going grocery shopping after and will do some cooking. Need to prepare lots - have an outdoor show saturday - 12 hours.  Will pack the cooler with some favorites.

 

Sending good thoughts! I hope you got to run today.

[jennor]

Hi Ashley, I hope your coghing gets better. It is so hard to get some rest when you have to cough as soon as you lie down. Feel better! Also, 12 hour show - wow, that is long time to be on your feet and I guess also "on" in general. I hope you feel better soon!

 

Day 8

2014 10 29

 

Yesterday was a heat record in Stockholm. They had 15C (59F) in the afternoon, which is warmer than it has ever been this late in October that far up north. (I live down south, so it is a little warmer here, but not a huge difference.)

 

I tend to forget the days now, so this is a good reminder. I need to work on the dried berries after dinner. I know it is a treat and I am really like an addict in that every day I think I will not have them, but then as we start winding down for the evening, we gather on the couch, and I find myself thinking that I really should have some berries after all. Just this once.

 

Sleep: 7h 10 min I woke up at 4 am, scared that I'd overslept again, but promptly went back to sleep. Woke up 5:22 again and got ready to run to work. I am in a good groove with going up to our bedroom as soon as the kids are asleep. That makes for a more relaxed night and usually an earlier bedtime.

 

Food:

Breakfast/postWO: 3 eggs, tomatoes, handful grapes, clementine, coffee, de-caf

Lunch: Bouillabaisse, garlic mayo, big plate of mixed salad (this was not enough food)

Snack: Chocolate chip cookie (see below)

Dinner: Grilled chicken, baked root veg, brussel sprouts w/ bacon and garlic, mayo. Chocolate.

 

Yes, so I made some unfortunate choices yesterday. I think what tripped me up was a) stress form the breast cancer scare b.) being hungry after lunch. So when I was offered a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie I ate it. And it was good. I also ate chocolate after dinner. It was good too. But, and this is funny, I didn't eat so much . I had a few pieces, then  kjust put it away. Bruched my teeth and went to bed instead. So although I am back at Day 1 I feel like I didn't totally go over board. And I feel ready to continue treating my body well and healing it to the best of my ability.

 

Exercise: 7.3 km run to work, then 20 min weights in the gym (back, shoulders, chest, leg press). With the run to pick up from school and pre-school it will be around 12.9 km (8 mi) in total. It feels SO GOOD to work out again.

[Derek`]

Hope everything goes okay.  Sucks that you have to wait so long for results.  Hang in there!

 

Focus on what you can control (eating well and moving) - which you're doing a great job at!

[almcc]

Hi All. Today is the day. I have food and will cook today. I have been letting stress get in the way of eating well. And I need to stop that.

I'll post my meals later since it's only 2am now.

jennor- thinking about you.

[jennor]

Yes, so I made some unfortunate choices yesterday. I think what tripped me up was a) stress form the breast cancer scare b.) being hungry after lunch. So when I was offered a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie I ate it. And it was good. I also ate chocolate after dinner. It was good too. But, and this is funny, I didn't eat so much . I had a few pieces, then just put it away. Brushed my teeth and went to bed instead. So although I am back at Day 1 I feel like I didn't totally go over board. And I feel ready to continue treating my body well and healing it to the best of my ability.

 

Derek' - It is maybe the longest 10 days of my life. I agree on just treating myself as good as possible. If the results are not good I am going to need every nutrient out there to nourish me and keep me healthy during treatment.

 

Ashley - Yay, you are better! And my choices yesterday makes us both on the same day too. Here is to a strong Day 1 and not letting stress keeping us away from the good food that we deserve!

 

Day 1

2014 10 30

 

Sleep: 7h 50 min. I am getting pretty good at listening to my tiredness and have been averaging 7h 40 min over the past 7 days, which is a big improvement. I also love, love, love that habit of finishing everything on my to-do list before the kids are in bed, so I can relax for 1-1.5h before I have to sleep myself.

 

Food:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, tomato, clementine

Lunch: Chicken wok, grilled aubergine, big mixed plate of green/root veg/salad. Bowl of crab soup with panang curry and cashews. Two oranges.

Dinner: (Out at a turkish place) Grilled chicken, a few turkish meatballs, vegetble stew. A few mullberries when we got home.

 

Exercise: Today I have a health check at work. I choose the one that is focused on exercise, so I will get to do a max pulse test. It will be exciting to see. I wil aslo get blood glucose, blood lipids, weight, height, body fat etc. After work I will go for a run before dinner. ETA: 8.2 km (5.1 mi) along the sea.

[jennor]

Day 2:
2014 10 31 -the last day of breast cancer awareness month. Man, have I ever been aware of breast cancer this month!

Sleep: I dreamed that I got a bad result on the biopsis, so I woke up sweating and worried at 2 am. Fell back asleep after an hour or so. 6h 30 min. A little tired today, but doing ok.

Food:
Breakfast: Two eggs, tomatoes, coffee, de-caf, liquirice root tea.
Lunch: steak, roasted aubergine, big plate of veg and salad, raspberry vinaigrette
Dinner: tapas (bresaola, Parma ham, salami, seafood dish, marinated veg) on top of slices of roasted sweet potato. Avocado. De-caf.

Exercise: Ran to the car pool. It was nice. It will be a total of 13 km (8 mi) for today. ETA: also did 25 min weights at the gym at work.

The health check went well yesterday. (Since they didn't include any medical history .) My blood glucose was great, my cholesterol a little high, but the HDL (good cholesterol) was really high too, so no real worries. Triglycerides were great. Weight/BMI and body fat as well as waist circumferrence was great. Then I entered the exercise bike and biked my little heart out. And that went well too. So no worries there.

I am kind of stressed and scatter brained right now. Yesterday when I was about to head out for my run I just wanted to bag it and eat candy and zone out instead. But I told myself that there would be time for all of that later anyway, and I'd feel better if I did run just a little bit first. So I did. And I felt much better and didn't even want the candy after that. So grateful to be able to run! When life is hard I always find relief in running. It is very meditative for me, and I usually find new perspectives to questions or worries when I run.

[almcc]

jennor

Happy Day 3!!!

Worrying in the middle of the night is the worst. Hope you don't have any more of those! Congratulations on running instead of candy-ing!!

I ended up canceling my market today. It's a good thing too - it's an outdoor market and it's 39F outside and raining! 10 hours of that would have been miserable!

I bought meat the other day - it's still good so I'll cook today. All the noncompliant food is gone!! Day 1 here I come!

Here's to taking care of ourselves!!

[jennor]

Ashley, thank you! I slept like a log last night!

Here is day 3

2014 11 01

Sleep: 7h 44 min. I set the alarm to my usual time to get a long run in before the family starts the day.

Food:

PreWO: 2 eggs, chipotle sauce, half-caf with hazelnut milk

PostWO/Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, roasted butternut and sweet potato pieces, coffee

Lunch: at a Mongolian BBQ place: I had them fry steak, some pork and all kinds of veggies with garlic and chili. Sparkling water. I had a but of a tummy ache after, so I suspect there was some stuff in there that is not W30, but I don't know. MSG? Since I don't know I am not starting over, but if I go there again I will be even more clear about what I can eat.

Orange, chai tea with coconut milk.

Dinner:

Exercise: long run! 24.2 km (15 mi) early this morning. It was an amazing run. I love having that time to think and reflect on life. A bit of an energy low at 20-22 km, but by then I was almost home so I just called it training to became fat adapted and continued. Finished feeling strong.

I feel very happy today and not stressed out or worried. Just calm and very, very happy with my life.

[almcc]

Yesterday I tried to post without luck. No luck sending messages either!  Didn't have a lot to say.  I have reach my limit of eating non-compliantly.  It took 2-3 weeks.  Woohoo! 

 

jennor - I hope the calmness and happiness continues!

 

 

Off to cook.  Happy eating!!

[jennor]

Day 5
2014 11 03

Pheew, low on sleep today and kind of frustrated. Youngest daughter has an ear infection again. I was up for 3.5 hours during the night and I am tired. They are both home today and they are like little monkeys climbing everywhere. We were out all morning to the doctor's office, pharmacy and grocery store but since then it's been mayhem. They definitely have the energy to to back to pre-school tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy they seem full of energy and don't have a fever. P

Sleep: Logged 5 wake-ups on my jawbone, the longest 3.5 hours. Tired.

Food: keeping it together, but hanging on by a thread today.
Breakfast: 3 fried eggs, bowl of spinach, chipotle sauce, coffee, hazelnut milk
Lunch: chicken breast, lamb sausage, baked sweet potato, carrot, onion and broccoli
Snack: 1 and 1/2 oranges the kids opened, butchered and abandoned.
Dinner: Sea food in marinara sauce. Dried fruit and nuts later before crashing into bed.

Exercise: we ran (older dd biked) to get our errands done this morning, so we hit 4.8 km (3 mi) at an easy pace. If my husband gets home on time I might head out to get some me time around dinner time.

[almcc]

Ok It's finally day 1 here.  Yippee!! I a battled a cookie and won - threw it in the bin. There are no more treats in the house.

 

M1: eggs, onions, peppers, avo, coffee/cm

M2: Panera's hidden menu steak wrap no pesto - added peppers and homemade mayo.

 

I can tell I am going to be hungry today. I'll live and I'll add some more fat.

 

We are going to a dinner party saturday. I already arranged with the host to bring my own food.  And she asked me to bring dessert.    Think I'll just buy something I won't eat!

 

Hope you get better sleep tonight jennor!

 

Happy Day!

[jennor]

Yay for throwing the cookie out!

 

I am still hanging on, but not feeling strong or determined. In fact, today I feel defeated. Two days to go until I get the biopsy results. Well, it is what it is.

 

Day 6

2014 11 04

 

Sleep: Close to 7 hours. Not to shabby. I took 1.5 mg melatonin as I was so wired and couldn't relax and it helped.

 

Food:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, 3 carrots, handful paranuts, coffee. I   paranuts! I like the simplicity of my breakfasts at work. It also makes me appreciate the cooked breakfasts on the weekend more.

Lunch: Louisiana spiced chicken, baked sweet potato, lots of salad, olive oil

Snack: De-caf americano, dried mulberries (emotional breakdown, still preferable to hitting the chocolate...)

Dinner: Piece of grilled chicken, meatball, piece of lamb stew, sallad.

 

Exercise: Not sure. My husband has meniscus issues, so we can't go to running club tonight. ETA: rest day

[almcc]

Day 2: feeling better!!! Yippee. Got some good food cooked yesterday. Ate chicken and sweet potato for dinner.

M1: eggs, kale, sp, compliant sausage, coffee/cm

jennor - hang in there. Do what you can to take care of yourself!! Can you run just a little today? I hope so. Thinking of you.

[almcc]

What are paranuts?

[jennor]

Ashley, I just realized they are called brazil nuts in English. Big, oily nuts. My husband hates them, I love them.

Day 7

2014 11 05

Last day of waiting for biopsy results. Yesterday was a hard day where I just felt like crying, today is better. It is a roller coaster. But I know I can do hard things, so it will be ok either way.

Sleep: 7.5 hours. I feel rested. Sleep has been getting so much better in the last 6 noths. I have made it more of a priority and I have also accepted that my early start time means an early bed time as well. (Sounds simple, but I was in some kind of denial of this for a long time. ) I have also realized that I feel my best when I wake up fairly much the same time every day. And right now that happens to be at 5:20-5:30.

Food:

Breakfast: 2 eggs over a bowl of veggies (baked root veg, brussel sprouts, tomatoes, bacon) and a cup of half-caf.

Lunch: Tapas, salad,maple vinaigrette, orange, grapes

Dinner: left-overs - a bowl of chicken, lamb sausage, brussels sprouts, baked root veg and onion, mayo, chipotle sauce. Dried mulberries. Chai tea.

Exercise: I bought a head lamp last night and went out to test it early this morning. We have a nature preservation area close to where I live, and I am so happy to say that I can now run that route even when it is dark! It was rainy and very dark, but a great run and even a bit faster than I have been in a long time. 7.2 miles, 11.5 km. Makes my day brighter.