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I just want to get on the freaking scale


lianebrady

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I'm on Day 14 and my curiosity is killing me. I don't have a ton of weight to lose - just vanity weight - but I can't remember the last time I've gone this long without looking at the scale.

 

I have a past rife with disordered eating behaviors and mindsets (though no diagnoses) and tend to be very obsessive, very "all or nothing." I can appreciate why we're supposed to stay off the scale. But dang it, I feel like I'm going crazy. I KNOW there's going to be a "final weigh in" at Day 30, and thinking about that day has led me to morph my intentions for Whole30 into a weight loss plan, which I don't think was necessarily my original goal - though let's be honest - I DO want to lose weight, and I started Whole30 hoping for that as one of the outcomes. This obsession has already led me to try and manipulate my Whole30 into a ketogenic diet, which has caused me nothing but hunger, irritability, and anxiety over the past couple days, and I want it to end.

 

So I'm posting here because I don't really know where else to go. I'm trying to focus instead on all the other reasons I'm doing this...

  • Because, regardless of my weight, sugar addiction is deadly
  • Because I have the opportunity to reverse whatever damage the SAD has done to me over the past 25 years
  • Because a low-crap diet can prevent stroke, heart attack, diabetes, cancer, and Alzheimer's...all of which are rife in my family
  • Because knowing I'm doing something good for myself should be enough of a reward. 
  • Because I KNOW I feel better - and I shouldn't need a scale to quantify that for me
  • Because I want to establish healthy patterns that I can carry with me my whole life
  • Because I want to set an example for my very sick father (another casualty of the SAD)
  • Because someday I'll have kids and I'll want to set an example for them, too

Yes...I am hoping for weight loss and improved body composition. But I'm just trying to drill it in my mind over and over that I have not failed as long as I have stuck to the program.

 

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Any thoughts or advice would be more than welcome.

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Yep.  Just remember you are more than a number on a scale!  The scale does not tell you:

 

a) how tall you are

B) how smart you are

c) how awesome your personality is

d) how healthy you are

e) how strong you are

 

I could go on, on and on how many things the scale doesn't tell you!

 

Focus on the other wins:

 

How clear you skin is

How shiny your hair is

How strong your nails are

how much sleep you are getting

Energy?  (Don't know if you have hit this one yet.  Some people get glimpses of energy)

PMS symptoms (they can go either which way.  Some report worse symptoms - personally mine were off the charts better)

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LOL, Liane, I can relate to the wanting to lose weight, although for me, it's not just vanity weight.  I'd like to lose about 30+, maybe even 40.  BUT...I haven't stepped on a scale in years.  I know what's happening with my weight by how my clothes feel.  A number on the scale just messes with my head too much.  I don't even weigh at the doctor's office, or, if it's required (like an insurance exam), then I tell them to not tell me the number.

 

So yeah, I'd like to lose weight with Whole30, but I'm not making it about that.  Focusing more on changing the way I eat, being healthier, etc.

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In the face, you do appear very thin. Are you sure it is healthy for you to lose weight?  You may need to look at body recomposition and not weight loss.

Also, it seems that this weight loss thing is driving you crazy. With your past disordered eating behaviors, do you think you could benefit from counseling?

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I'm only hoping to get rid of a few vanity pounds - basically, I want to see my abs, haha. I'm nowhere near underweight, but I am lean. I'd like to lose about 2-3% body fat.

The thing about counseling is, when I'm not in an all-or-nothing mindset, I don't really worry about my weight at all. But I think having a "deadline" plus the rigidity of the program (which I love) has kind of triggered old underlying anxieties... If that makes sense.

It's an amazing program and I don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water just because I can get a little neurotic. I just need to have realistic expectations about how this will change my body's appearance and remember that it is NOT about that.

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Here is the hard truth. Those vanity pounds are really hard to work on. This isn't the program for vanity pounds but it is the program to get all the other things you listed. Most people who lose weight on a Whole30 either have a lot of weight to lose, are young men, or had excessively crappy diets/undiagnosed issues with gluten.

 

I think just being able to get over the anxiety of the scale is worth doing the program all together. The reason I waited 3 months to do my first whole30 was because I didn't want to give up the scale. Now I let myself weigh once a month but often forget. I would post your very good list on the wall above where your scale used to be so you can read it when you are feeling extremely anxious.

 

Here is some more reading for you.

http://whole9life.com/2012/03/5-reasons-to-break-up-with-your-scale/

http://whole9life.com/2012/08/new-health-scale/

http://everydaypaleo.com/attention-scale-addicts/

http://everydaypaleo.com/attention-scale-addicts-part-2/

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