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Sex with Pants


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Hi guys, I'm new.

I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my mind around the sex with pants concept. It seems like that category is there to help you break mental habits, so that you're not just coming up with unhealthy substitutes for "old" habits, but you're trying to create new ones, right? Part of what makes it sex with pants is your mental state. This stuff is good, ingredient-wise, but I'm just trying to clarify The Rules, while not overthinking (which I tend to do). Here are my examples:

1.) I had taco salad for dinner. I made ground buffalo with roasted carrots and put that atop a huge bed of greens, pumpkin seeds, peppers, tomato, avocado, and made a salsa/ACV/EVOO dressing. The kids had that, plus tortillas and cheese - I passed. Everything was compliant, but it was 100% a taco salad.Okay?


2.) My husband and I generally have a glass of wine as we unwind after a long day. Today I had herbal mint tea instead, but if I'm not drinking, I also like to have sparkling water/lemon or lime before I go to bed - and I like it because the carbonation makes me feel like I'm having a "special drink," like a beer, but not. I'm clearly just substituting for booze, though. Okay?

3.) I quit eating gluten almost three years ago, and at that time, I read the book Wheat Belly, which has a recipe which MIGHT Be SWYPO, but I really, really want it not to be. It's a flaxseed wrap (ingredients: egg, ground flax, coconut oil, water, spices, microwaved). It's a great source of easy  protein, you can make them ahead of time - a huge time-saver in my busy mornings. I ate one this AM with salmon, tomato, spinach. Those ingredients seem like good things, and I wasn't hungry until lunch, but it's technically a wrap. I read the Great Wrap Controversy on the forum, but to me, this one seems different. It doesn't come out of a bag, I have to make it myself which takes more intention. It's not sweet at all, and it has that egg. So...okay?


Also, what's a snack? I was making tomorrow's lunch and popped a few olives in my mouth (seriously, maybe 3 olives?) and/or I roasted some cubed sweet potatoes and tried them, they were good, so I had 3 or so more. Possibly 1/4 cup, combined, of tossing food in my mouth as I cooked. Is that even worth worrying about? Or am I shooting to have my lips sealed between meals?



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1) SWYPO is sort of hard to wrap your head around. Let's start with this, though: SWYPO is not an attempt to take everything that tastes good away from you. Sometimes that's what some people seem to get from the discussion, so I thought I'd lead with that. 


Things that are listed in the rules as being off limits -- pancakes and baked goods and coffee creamer, for instance -- are out, period, regardless of whether you ate them before or have any psychological ties to them as comfort food. Aside from those things, the most important thing is to think about how you're eating them (is it part of a template meal or not) and your particular relationship to the non-paleo version of that item (if you eat fried chicken every day because you have some kind of KFC or Chick-fil-a addiction, making oven-baked chicken coated in almond flour to make a crunchy "oven fried" crust is probably not a good idea for you, but if you rarely have fried chicken, it may be a perfectly acceptable option to give you another option for a family dinner that everyone will like).


Your taco salad sounds absolutely fine (unless you have some unhealthy relationship with tacos that you haven't disclosed ;) ) -- you had protein and veggies, so it's a template meal. Most of the paleo pancake meals that I've seen people talk about, just for comparison, are absolutely not template at all -- they end up fruit heavy, no veggies, and usually not enough protein.


2) I think your sparkling water or tea is fine. I'm guessing the focus is on spending a little time with your husband, relaxing, not so much on what you're drinking -- and that sounds like a good ritual to have. 


3) If it were me, I'd try giving up the wraps in favor of egg muffins or egg casserole, which can also be made ahead of time, or using cabbage or lettuce or collard greens for the wrap portion, or just having leftovers for breakfast. Having said that, though, I'm not really sure what the official stance would be on homemade wraps. I think it's probably the same as for the Paleo Wraps that were allowed, and now aren't, but I'm not quite sure.


Snacks -- The goal is to have three meals a day, no snacks. That's what's best for you, hormonally. However, sometimes, especially early on, it's hard to eat enough to be able to do that, so if you are truly hungry (so that something bland like steamed fish and broccoli sounds good), eat. The recommendation is to have a mini meal of protein, fat, and veggies. If you find yourself needing a snack every day, you need to look at how much you're eating at meals, because  you may not be eating enough. If you're just eating out of habit, because you always eat a bit while packing lunches or cooking, you should try to stop that. 

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So I've been reading more recipes and SWP comments (the sweet potato donut, egg "muffins" which I love, fruit pizza, egg/blueberry souflee, heck, even cauliflower rice, and I guess I'm coming down this way: I'll keep my ingredients compliant, and be reasonable and intentional about the sex with pants. If I think it's a real meal and it helps me meet the protein-vegetable meal goals, I'm keeping it (for me).

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