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No more excuses, No more babying, its TIME


jcress

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Lunch: 3 eggs, mayo, broccoli and cauliflower, a bit of sweet potato

 

Snack: Almonds, Walnuts, Cashews, Pumpkin Seeds and dried cranberries

 

Dinner: 1 egg, 1 applegate sausage, mayo, sweet potato and apple! I ate an apple without bingeing! I wanted to test my conjecture that I can control my urges to binge and my sugar dragon. And I can. 

 

Restorative yoga tonight I think. 

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Had some pistachios after dinner, and a few freeze dried cranberries (Did not like them UGH so bitter)

 

​I don't know what eating too much or too little is for me! Ive added this mayo and coconut oil to my meals, and nuts as well. Is this too much compared to my food before? HELP!

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Day 12

 

Woke up, clear headed, went for a crisp after-the-rain walk this morning Beautiful out! Since eating Whole30 I have developed a rather calmer and more compassionate demeanor. I feel more at peace, more capable of loving even just the colors of the trees...I feel calmer..

 

Body feels noticeably less painful. Took a restorative class last night, definitely helped calm my nervous system. I am thinking of continuing on with a home restorative yoga practice. 

 

Breakfast: Kale and onions and a bit of purple cabbage sautéed in coconut oil, 1 medium sweet potato, 2 eggs, carrots and guac, some curry sauce. An orange, the rest of the dried cranberries (which tasted remarkably better today)

 

Yesterday I decided that I no longer want to be afraid of healthy food. I don't want to be afraid of carbs, of fat, of natural sweetness. I want to agree with them and be neutral, so I don't have any reason to obsess about food. My goal is kind of now to stop obsessing, because I feel like when I obsess, it just creates craving, worry, a restricted mindset, and puts my body in a negative fight or flight mode. I am just going to keep filtering all those unnecessary thoughts out and work towards more COMPASSION! For myself, others, and my environment. Working from that place makes every moment of my life enjoyable. 

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I really feel that Whole30 eating has de-stressed my body at a cellular level. That my body isn't trying to fight the inflammation from sugar and dairy and grains, that it's getting a nice break. Maybe thats why my brain is in a better place. 

 

Also, I think I'm one of those people who needs starchy veggies in order to feel good. I am on an SSRI for a reason, and I don't want to cut the seretonin producing carbs from my diet. 

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Yesterday I decided that I no longer want to be afraid of healthy food. I don't want to be afraid of carbs, of fat, of natural sweetness. I want to agree with them and be neutral, so I don't have any reason to obsess about food. My goal is kind of now to stop obsessing, because I feel like when I obsess, it just creates craving, worry, a restricted mindset, and puts my body in a negative fight or flight mode. I am just going to keep filtering all those unnecessary thoughts out and work towards more COMPASSION! For myself, others, and my environment. Working from that place makes every moment of my life enjoyable. 

 

This is a great thing to be working toward. I come from a background of diets that restrict calories and have you counting calories and carbs and fat for every single meal. I always felt like these diets were a punishment -- as in, I'm fat and therefore I deserve to be hungry all the time and eat low-fat foods that taste like cardboard. I'm still working on it, but I'm starting to be able to think of it instead as nourishing my body with good, healthy foods that taste good and make me more healthy -- working with my body instead of trying to punish it. It's a work in progress, for sure, but then I try to remind myself, I'm 39 years old, so I've got years of bad habits and bad thoughts to overcome.

 

I have no doubt you will feel better if you make sure you include starchy veggies in your diet, not only because of the link to depression and mood, but also because you are very active and need more energy than someone who works a desk job every day and doesn't work out much. If it makes you feel better, I can tell you that I am hardly active at all, but continue to lose weight eating starchy vegetables regularly -- I probably eat more of them than I really should, given my activity levels and the fact that I do need to lose weight, but I like them and feel better eating them, so for now, I just go with it. I can always change it later if I feel like I need to. 

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Weightloss is ALL in the hormones, and I need to provide my body with enough fat to be the building blocks of those hormones. Insight! Never restricting again!

Hormones are important, but a surplus of calories will always lead to weight gain.

Even programs like Whole30 which don't *count* calories still *restrict* calories: palm-sized protein, thumb-sized fat, 3 meals, no snacking, limit nuts & dried fruit, etc etc.

Pure paleo speaks to the goal of eating "to satiety", the theory being that once you've eaten good food in a conscious way long enough, you will learn what 'enough' actually is. Then you can trust those feelings of hunger, cravings, etc, because they won't be affected by food scientists, social pressure, etc

It's probably just a sign that I have lots more work to do, but from where I'm standing I can't see a future where I can eat "ad libitum".

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ShannonM816 Thank you so much for your insight. I just want to feel joy in all areas of my life, and shaming foods is not something that helps me do that. It is also nice to hear that carbohydrates aren't the enemy. At one point in my life I got very healthy hormonally and lost my bingey weight by eating oats and sprouted grains and brown rice. Maybe my genetics are more happy with a little more glucose. Plus I don't give myself for being as active as I am. I do something really physical every day, because I like it (I do have fitness goals of course) but I like to experience my life when my body is engaged. So thats another reason to up the amount. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

kirkor, yes thanks for the reminder. I think what I personally need to do is not focus on restricting, which doesn't mean piling it on. I naturally don't eat a ton of food if I don't restrict.  If i restrict too hard I get stressed and THEN I pile it on. You follow? So yes, calories are important. But for me that will take care of itself.

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Day 12 came to a close yesterday. I had

 

Lunch which was 3 hardboiled eggs, mayo, purple potatoes

 

Dinner was steamed cauliflower, 2 applegate sausages, one egg, some mayo and tomato sauce. 

 

I treated myself (yes, treated) to some dried mango and dried berries. It was scrumptious, It made me happy, AND...I DIDNT EAT THE WHOLE BAG OF EITHER! INCREDIBLE! I am empowering myself to make good decisions, and that feels amazing. I also realized that I like to eat more fruit on the weekends. During the routine of they weekdays, its less appealing and easier to pass up. So I think thats a good "moderation" rule for me. No binges for a week friends...

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I went to coffee with friends today. They all got sweets and creamy milky coffees. Not tempted! I feel at peace and calm without those treats in my life! THOROUGHLY ENJOYED my moroccan mint tea  :lol:

 

 

I love the feeling of peace I have continued to feel for the last few days. Its the bomb.

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Snack: Apple (filled me up just fine. didn't feel hungry after)

 

Dinner: 2 apple gate sausages, sweet potato, one egg, broccoli, curry sauce, some mayo. Larabar for dessert. Yeah I said it. Its a SIN right?! nope. I loved every bite. And Im satisfied. And Im not binging. Do you know how big that is?

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Day 14, 2 weeks in!

 

Breakfast: Cashew Cookie Larabar (I was on the go)

 

Lunch: 2 eggs, sweet potato, steamed broccoli, carrots, dried cherries

 

Some pistachios

 

So yeah, I went to the naturopath this morning, and I have both some minor adrenal dysfunction, and I have celiac I'm so glad I have some answers finally! This helps explain:

 

Hair loss

dandruff

weight problems

puffy face

fatigue 

un-explained iron deficiency

mood swings

depression

low sex hormones

anxiety

brain fog

brittle nails

bloating

back pain

joint burning/pain

irrational anger

 

So yay! finally! Some answers!!!!

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Kirkor..yeah maybe they are..i don't know..

 

DAY 15

 

BREAKFAST: lots of sweet potato, a bag of power greens, onions in a bit of coconut oil, one egg plus one egg white. (7:45 am) 

 

Snack: Kit's Cliff bar (10:45 am)

 

Ok, so, I learned that I do not like a super high carb breakfast like the one I had. It made me full but not satisfied. IE: satiety sucked.

 

So vegan is not something that I will do. :) 

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The difference in your face in the above photos is amazing! You look so healthy now, but beautiful both before/after.

 

Why do you feel so compelled to lose weight?? - it seems to be a great stressor for you as it is a tense underlying theme in this log.  You look super healthy and at a healthy weight in your avatar photo.  

 

DO NOT GO VEGAN! :o   :wacko:  :blink:

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Andria, I love the weight I'm at, as a regular person. Really, I do. But I am used to being an athlete in the dance world, hoping to make it my career. (My avatar photo is from over a year ago) Ive gained just about 30 pounds in the last 6 months which is pretty gargantuan. I have professors and a dance community that I want to continue being a strong, competitive part of. So I can't just be a pedestrian, I am using the whole30 to find my way back to dancer fitness.

 

The stress you sense is real though..And I am working on releasing my sense of urgency, because that just makes me go back to bad binging habits and obsess over food. So your comments are really helpful. I think my body will find its way there if I keep doing my weight training and eating this way, and relaxing about it! 

 

Tina Marie: THANKS! I feel great! 

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