Too much of a good thing?

[EmilyAnn]

When I started my Whole30, I knew I needed more than 30 days… A LOT more than 30. I've been on and off paleo for over 2 ½ years and really truly want it to be how I live going forward. I've done plenty of 21 or 30 day challenges only to slip back in old ways. Just about everything I prepared in my home is paleo, but fall back a lot on eating out, pizza or Chinese delivery, or eating a lot of crap at someone else's house. ISWF really went a long way for drilling it into my head WHY this is how we should be living. I wanted to do more than 30 days because I want to solidify good habits and good feelings. Today is day 57 and all along I thought 100 seemed like the right number. It's been surprisingly easy. I think 100 days is completely doable, but I'm wondering if by trying to get there, I'm missing the point, somehow. I know Dallas & Melissa say it's not Whole365, but how many is too many?

This weekend will be a challenge that I think I can manage, but maybe planning to manage isn't the right answer. Friday is the first anniversary of my Grandma's death. We were very fortunate that she lived to be 93, but her passing was especially rough on me because she died 8 weeks before my wedding. My parents are having the family over to remember her and have asked everyone to bring a dish that reminds them of Grandma. I'm probably the only person in my family that's not emotionally attached to my Grandma's cooking. She had lunch every Thursday for my brothers and whoever else wanted to come for almost 20 years. I was almost always on some sort of diet, so I almost always brought my own food. There are only 2 things I can think of that she made that I truly miss and they are both desserts, so there's nothing that I could bring that would be ok and would have any significance to me. I don't expect there to be any whole30 foods there and my family isn't comfortable when I don't eat, so I was planning on going early and ducking out once dinner was served and having a nice dinner at home. Saturday there is a big party planned for my father-in-law's 60^th birthday. The party is close to home, so I just planned to pop out and go home to eat if I get hungry and there isn't anything at the party that I can eat. I'm starting to wonder if these are good strategies for navigating social situations or signs of crazy…

Another thing that's making me reconsider 100 days is having enough time to play with reintroductions before an 8 day trip. About a week after my 100 days is up, I'm going to Seattle and staying with family for half the time and a hotel the other half, with most meals being conference food in second half (so basically little control of food). I'm wondering if I'm setting myself up for digestive hell with that timing.

I'm not really expecting anyone to tell me what to do – I know I am an adult and need to make my own decisions – but more just thoughts on how to tell when it's been long enough (or too long) and strategizing reintroduction, especially with the vacation/work trip coming up. I'd rather not give up early, but I don't want to do more harm than good.

[Renee Lee]

you aren't missing the point. 100 != 365. Melissa and Dallas have always said that your journey may not be 30 days, it may be 45, it may be 60, it may be 100. It's however many days it takes YOU to affect change in yourself and your relationship with food. If you feel like that's 100 days, go for it.

You don't HAVE to reintroduce while you're on vacation either. My gentle tough love here is that claiming you will have little control of food is a cop out. Yes, it's hard to deal with family that don't understand or support your eating habits. yes it's hard to navigate a conference...but it CAN BE DONE. you can do it!

Why not do a Whole108? multiples of 9 have always been my favorite numbers,

[missmary]

I actually disagree with Renee?! this is a first!

I don't think the W30 is about isolating yourself from family events and processing grief, and it makes me sad to think that you would sneak out and/or miss out on important events. You are in control of what you eat and don't eat, and you get to decide if it is important enough to "break the rules." If a taste of some dessert your grandmother made will help you process her death and cope, then eat the damn dessert. If it won't, and you know that food will leave you feeling bad, make the choice not to eat it. Bring something to share that works for you and makes you feel good, but please don't use W30 as an excuse to avoid making your own decisions about food and taking responsibility for your choices--that's how we get to a realistic long-term way of eating that doesn't expire after 30 (or 90 or 108) days. It's tough, but that "riding your own bike" part is the difference between a short-term diet and a healthy sustainable life.

All that said, I'm sorry for your loss and however you choose to handle these events, know that that is your choice too.

[Ann]

Could you go ahead and make Grandma's dessert to bring to the family event? You might choose to enjoy some of it, or you might not*, but by bringing it along you are participating with your family in remembering Grandma. How about bringing along a plate of your own food to each of the events, and sitting down with your family for the meal? Your family might be more comfortable with you staying for dinner and eating your own food, than they would be with you ducking out early? Even though the gathering your parents arranged has a "theme" involving food (Grandma's best dishes), it is so much more about the time you share together remembering your Grandma.

*If you aren't ready to off-road yet, then you should pass on Grandma's dessert. But IMHO, after 57 days of purity, you are probably okay to enjoy a special treat that carries some significance like this. Have you looked at the "Guide to Nutritional Off-Roading"? http://whole9life.co...Off-Roading.pdf