ChiggerCane Rising From Failure

[Laurie]

on my last post to you, it should have read "I did NOT think it was the way to go for me".   After eating crappy, I realized I needed and wanted to get back to W30 eating.

[ChiggerCane]

The last week, a couple rolls, some crackers, a couple pieces of toast, and sugar (in the sneaky form of pecan pie...) were allowed in.  I really think that's it.  Oh wait - put some barley in the turkey soup last night.  All in all - not too bad.  Weight is still down.  I've been remembering to drink the water.  All this leads me to realize that my eating is not THAT bad on an everyday basis.  I will ditch the crackers and bread starting now.  We are having chinese tonight, so I will have rice and soy sauce (and I'm sure there's sugar in the sauce somewhere).  Tomorrow, I will tighten back up and will aim for whole30ishness as much as possible.  I will not be completing 30 days, so this is not a whole30.  I guess I will see it as a trial, prep period which will lead me to January timeframe for the real thing.

 

[ChiggerCane]

Responded to a Starting Jan 2 post...so I am committed now.    Health/weight loss coaching program starts Jan 12 (crap, was hoping it was a week earlier!), boot camp class starts that same day.  Ending 2016 in a better place than I was a year ago, but really looking forward to 2017 being a year where everything comes together - eating, exercise, mental attitude, perspective, optimism...what else can I throw in here?  Happiness...contentment...oh - HEALTH! 

[ChiggerCane]

Trying to get some mental planning done.  Issues/problems I know I need to address before Jan2 start:

STOP THE COFFEE!!!!!  I don't understand why I let myself start drinking coffee.  I know that I must stop. completely.  No reducing, no limiting, no once a day, one cup, once a week...totally STOP 100%. 

Get back to water.  I can feel my lips shriveling from being being dehydrated.  My brain hurts. I go through times when I drink adequately and I feel so good. So why do I drop the habit???

Exercise.  Weights - 2- 3 x per week. Cardio...I SHOULD commit to 5 days per week.  3 times minimum will be my goal.  I have committed to Boot Camp on Thurs am.  From January 12 thru May something.  So - hopefully no ice, snow, or traffic will make me miss these classes.  I have committed to the Sparkle coaching class every Thursday following Boot Camp.  I am hoping that this class will get me mentally back to being me.  I have also signed up for the 5K on Sandra's birthday, Jan 28.  I WILL do it!  I may walk it but I'd like to attempt a slow jog.

Journaling.  on paper.  And reading/devotions.  I have stopped this and must restart.  Everyday in some fashion.

TV in bed.  Started this horrible habit several years ago when my brain refused to turn off at night.  (related to my coffee habit..?)  I plan to start reading and journaling instead.  Quit using the timer on the TV.  REALLY!

Meal plans - update for whole30.  Get prep plans in place.  Go ahead and make the month's plan for eating.  Get that done this week and print it out.

Update my schedule notebook.  Actually I want to throw away the notebook I have and start over with a new one.  Time to release my past and go forward to new and shiny things.

Forgive, forget, and move on.  Continue my efforts to get away from toxic people and situations.  Even family if need be. 

so - lots to accomplish before Jan 2.

 

 

[ChiggerCane]

prep work was very limited due to work...yes, work!  I have a batch of chicken thighs in the oven now.  I have a rough plan for start day tomorrow.  I need/want to do some more planning tonight - on paper.  Did not get my water in today - yet.  Still a few hours to do it.  Today got away from me.

[ChiggerCane]

Meal 1 - done successfully..how many to go?    I really intend to make it past Day 1 on this attempt.  I poured out the coffee creamer, ditched some other things.  I did not get all the prep work done that I had wanted.  But, hopefully I have enough done.  It's just a matter of recognizing what I want to do and making appropriate choices.  That's all... I started a paper notebook this morning which will become my 'go to' recipe/meal plan.  I am going to update the monthly meal plan I had come up with previously as the month progresses and toss the old plan at the end of this. 

Why am I doing this?  In addition to the normal, beginning of year improvement theme...I feel out of control, uncomfortable in my skin (and fat...), uneasy in physical situations, etc.  Some of the physical things are 'real' (hip bursitis, knee issues, IT band issues, plantar fasciattis (someday, I'll learn how to spell it), HBP (genetic)...And I keep thinking if I eat for health (and get 20-30 pounds off), some of these issues will lessen or even disappear.  And then we get to the real issues...my son is getting married (no date set yet) and my niece's wedding reception (May 28).  Vanity.  I hate having my picture taken.  I hate feeling the stomach roll when I slump.  I hate seeing my arms.  Discomfort has been normal...

OK - enough of that.  On the positive side - I have the wellness coaching class and boot camp class starting Jan 12.  I have the mountain (unfortunately I also have rain right now and I am a fair weather walker), I have the elliptical and TRX in the basement, along with weights and some old videos if I ever get the desire to do those.  I am able to move with relatively little actual pain.  I have clean water galore to drink.  I have fresh food available at any time.  I have a desire to improve...U2's Desire just popped up in my mind...

Which leads to the 1st wellness coaching assignment.  We are to come to class with a 'focus' word.  I had thought my word was 'Faith'.  Why, you ask...so glad you did...I learned through the terrible 2013 year that I did not have the level of Faith I should have.  My life would have been so much better if I had lived my Faith.  And I find myself slipping into old habits again.  A friend, in late 2012, just as we were getting ready to embark on the terrible 2013, told me that she was learning to 'Step out in Faith' - which encouraged me as we started our journey...but then I lapsed.  'Faith' album reminds me, with a warm fuzzy heart, of my best friend ever, Sandra.  I can still remember belting out that song, dancing to 'Faith', and the other songs on that album, with her...I miss her every day...but I smile and feel encouragement when I remember her.  I love numbers...and I find it eerie (?) that he died on my birthday, and we are the same age.  Which all leads to me thinking that ''Faith' is my word...but then I wrote 'Desire'.  Can I have 2 words...

[ChiggerCane]

Successful Day 1.  On to Day 2. 

Normal days begin tomorrow.  Son is still out of school, starts back tomorrow.  Husband left for out of town work this morning.  Will be gone rest of week.  I have a mountain of work stuff waiting for me as soon as son leaves for school in the morning.  I also have 3 large dogs who are very bored.  Work and rain has kept them confined for too long without long walks and ball chasing.  Rain has trickled off this morning so maybe I can get them out later today.

Day 1 was workable.  I reached for the nuts a bit too much, but I will work on that as we go.  Day 2 has started off well.  Can I make it through Day 2 and break my streak of many, many, many Day 1's?

[ChiggerCane]

I am here, on track, amazed.  There have been a few wobbly moments, but I have dug in and kept the FAITH.  I had a welcome letter from my 'ambassador' for the coaching class I am starting next Thursday.  She is roughly my age, has lost about 50 pounds, and...eats whole30-ish following a successful whole30!!! Yea!  I am so looking forward to meeting her Thursday and having someone who understands where I am and how I am eating.  I am feeling a little leaner and 'cleaner'.  As my friend Laurie suggested, I am focusing now on getting the food down and not being so tied up in being template compliant. Not sure whether that means I am 100% whole30 or not..,

I have boiled eggs waiting to be shelled.  I made a batch of mayo the other day.  Someone posted an interesting sounding egg bake I will try.  Ratatouille  and zoodle fixings are in the house.  I will cook up some of the sausage we made last month.  I think I have a problem with seeing TOO many things to try.  I still have some of the chicken thighs in the fridge.  So many options.  Why would anyone want non-whole30 food...

[ChiggerCane]

Had to find myself on page 4...good to see so many journals going.  Had to move some of my food to the fridge outside in the garage.  Seeing all that prepped food upsets my husband's sense of ...started to say cleanliness, but it's not that and it's not minimalistic tendencies... he just thinks that food that is cooked should be eaten before you cook anything else.  I cooked up another batch of chicken thighs (still had one left) and I thought he was going to explode.  He leaves again tomorrow for the rest of the week,  I am holding out on any more food prep until tomorrow - and I will rethink where and how I am storing things. 

I think the most disturbing thing about this is the dreams.  Strange.  Very strange.  Dog being sick has been interfering with sleep the last 3-4 nights.  But, I am still having these strange, intense dreams.  Nothing too exciting , but the vividness is strange.  I still have some tweaks to get this thing right. Food template is still a hard think for me.  But - I see progress.

TRX workout the other day was good.  I did some stretching yesterday.  I will hook up the TRX tonight for another go.  Guess I need to start thinking about dinner.

[Emma]

I love the focus word.  I hadn't thought about that and I think mine would probably be intentionality.  Bleh - sounds so dull compared to faith and desire!  Wellness coaching sounds like a nice piece to have, but you also sound pretty on top of things.  

[ChiggerCane]

To expand on my focus word selection - I've lost FAITH in myself.  I've been trying to lose 5 - 10 pounds for 16 years...and now have 25 - 30 pounds to lose.  I've had success in attempts (multiple) - eating clean, jogging, and being organized and focused seemed to work the best...until the broken toe, hip bursitis, IT Band issues, being overwhelmed with work.  The past 5 years have definitely been the most disorganized, unfocused, unhappy years.  It is beyond time to get myself mentally back in the game. So, my focus on FAITH as a word has multiple meanings and inspirations - FAITH that I know, deep down, that everything is going to be fine (with me as well as my family members); FAITH that I can be focused and successful; FAITH that I I can make decisions and actions, without 2nd guessing or worrying about "what if this doesn't.." "what if I cave and fail?"  If I fail or cave...I pick myself up, regroup and keep going.  Many of my issues stem from me trying to control everything for everyone.  My worries for my younger son play with my emotions horribly.  I have to get over that.  I must realize that everyone has his/her own life to lead.  I've been telling myself for several years that the lives I want for my kids is not necessarily the lives they want for themselves.  I can be empathetic and assist - but it's time to realize they are responsible for their own lives (within reason ).

I guess you can tell from this that I will be restarting Day 1......tomorrow.  Which was in the back of my mind all along as it is the day I start coaching and boot camp.  I allowed myself to slink back into that mind paralysis place from work - seems to happen when husband goes out of town and I get anxious about everything.  And that's where my FAITH in myself comes back in.  I USED to be such a strong person mentally.  I want to be that person again.  FAITH. 

[ChiggerCane]

Day 1 - again......so far, great day.  Boot camp was a good class.  Not the typical boot camp format I've done in past, but still good.  Only 14 in class - and 1 was sick today so only 13 of us.  Many younger ladies - which I figured.  I modified the burpees, but other than that, I was able to do everything.  Then on to coaching class.  Which was good.  and motivating.  I have some handouts to review, a week challenge which fits in with W30 perfectly, a notebook to get together, and some planning to do.  One of the class suggestions is to do a 5K every month.  Which was one of my 'possible' goals.  She (coach) wants us to commit to 6 'official, organized' 5Ks and then 6 on your own (at least that's how I see it).  The coaching class participants can walk/run together - and there are 12 runs identified - so I'm not sure whether she means she wants us to commit to the listed runs as a class at least 6 runs...which I'm not sure about as I looked over the list.  January 28, I am already registered for.... or , just run 6 organized runs somewhere.  I have to laugh - I always get caught up in the details and planning.  I have trouble ad libbing, in case that's not evident.  I will take it month by month - or registration deadline by registration deadline.  

I bought the W30 Cookbook yesterday. I wonder if I will actually use it.  There are several recipes that caught my eye.  I need to branch out and try some new things without getting overwhelmed.  Planning...I need to get my planning done.  And then I need to live my plan.

[Laurie]

Quote

 

I would love to find out more about your coaching class.  What are the handouts about?  I am just starting to learn to live and not let Steve's death destroy me (which honestly it has).    Learning is the key for me so if you have any information you can share with me, it would be greatly appreciated.

Not sure what day you are on and that does not matter. What is most important is that you never give up! 

Please feel free to join this group "November Whole 30.....The Saga Continues".  I needed to join a group; I needed the accountability and support - especially support.  I chose this group because 2 members were from a 2014 Whole 30 I participated in while Steve was waiting for his donor and  after he had his stem cell transplant.   Several of The Sage Continues members did a whole 30 at the end of November (I was not part of that group and was always on and off of W30 during that time - probably more off than on).  Not everyone in that group is currently on the whole 30 and many of us are on different days.  We "talk" a lot about feelings and several of us have shared "our story".   Very caring group, no tough love (tough love is not beneficial for everyone).  If you have time, read the whole thread.  Hope to "see" you posting in that group.

[ChiggerCane]

Thanks for stopping by Laurie.  I will check out the Saga group.  I can always use some caring friendship!  I did enjoy the coaching class.  The focus is weight loss - but it goes beyond that to 'living with (add your focus word)' - more on that later.  The woman teaching the class uses Sparkle as her word.  And it suits her.  She is a bubbly, joyful, inspiring woman.  Handouts from last week were info on Med diet (which I know you know about, and I do as well, but it's a nice refresher, altho it doesn't fit in with W30 fully)...and just some exercise info, weight loss info, etc.  Nothing major - nothing 'new' to me, but a way to get myself back in the game, so to speak. 

Today, I took my MIL to a water aerobic class specialized for those with arthritis.  MIL had back surgery last May and has severe mobility issues right now.  Can't remember if I've written about her here, so sorry for any repeats.  Doctor wants her to start water aerobics.  I found out 2 weeks ago that she is falling every night, she fell down an entire flight of steps into the basement, and fell head first into the bathtub.  SO - I finally got her to class today.  Honestly, I was not wanting to go.  I've never really gotten into pool work and I HATE the coldness of getting out of the pool and into the locker room....  I went to class with her just to make sure she didn't fall getting in the pool - or go under during exercise.  Was I surprised!  During class, I gradually shifted to the deeper end of class.  Arms, shoulders, back, and hip areas are all feeling it.  It's making me think I might want to add in some water work.  There's a non-arthritis-specific class about the same time - so if MIL joins, I can go to the one class while still getting her to her class.  Or, I could do laps.  I'm inspired to do something new and see what happens.   And I found that taking a robe instead of a towel goes a long way to keeping you warm on the way to the shower. Then, I worked in some TRX things later in the day.

A couple days ago I made the W30 cookbook recipe for Italian Pot Roast.  The next morning, we had the poached eggs and meat with potato fingerlings (altho my fingerlings fell apart and were basically 'hash').  Not too bad.  Tonight was the ragout.  meh on that one.   Beef chuck roast is much fattier than I like or am used to.  But, it reminded me of Sunday afternoon pot roasts my mom used to make.  I have several more meals of 'reserved' meat.  I may need to pop some of that into the freezer for next week.  I think I'm chuck roasted out.  Turkey and chicken may need to dominate for a while. 

So - on to my later 'living with FAITH' (my focus word).  I found out when I returned from water aerobics that it is very likely we will get very busy again at work.  And I did not panic or scream or cry or stop breathing.  And I think I am being given an opportunity to redeem myself for my falling apart in 2013 and 2014.  I learned so much during that time.  I know what to avoid, what to prevent from happening.  We know what to expect.  Silly me...I know there will be things that will challenge and frustrate us.  But - I DO KNOW - that things WILL work out.  One way or another.  And I will find restored FAITH in myself as I STEP OUT IN FAITH.  (Can you tell I'm giving myself a pep talk?? )

[Emma]

Smiling - I loved your pep talk.  I tell myself similar things!  I also note how much faster my body responds to the good things I'm doing.  I may have fallen apart since my first Whole30 three or four years ago, but I learned so much and those things are coming into play now.  We're doing good.  You're doing good.  Getting to the pool and doing a workout there is also really cool (all while caring for another human being is impressive!)

[ChiggerCane]

Made the mexican twice baked potatoes last night - however, I changed the seasonings - left out chili and cumin (and a few other things) and added basil, rosemary (and a few other things).  Guess I dropped the mexican for more of an italian influence.  I think I have found a new stuffed pepper filling!  Husband and son liked them - I did not announce the cauliflower rice content.  Had left overs for lunch today.  It's nice to find some recipes that may take up permanent rotation in our lives. Made cauliflower rice, ham, kale and egg muffins Saturday - ate the last ones today.  Pretty good as well.  I've intended to make the leek, mushroom frittata - but haven't gotten a round tuit yet.  Possibly tomorrow.  That should last me the rest of the week as husband is out of town.  I've never been a kale person - but the challenge from coaching class was to try some new veggies (in addition to having 2 green veggies, 2 colorful veggies, and 2 fruit each day).  Or - in a pinch - prepare your veggies in a new way.  So I made kale chips (bleh), beets and beet greens (surprisingly good), have a recipe for kale, sausage, potato soup for later this week, and I could swear I have something else 'new' in the fridge.  Problem is I end up with so much stuff...I hate wasting things.  I do tend to eat the same things over and over - husband laughed and said my go-to veg is broccoli.  Surprise.   I am not a smoothie person either...which even if I was wouldn't fit in with W30 anyway.  Anyway - this week's class emphasis is veggies and trying new-ness.  I 'won' the bag of cauliflower rice for having ventured into water aerobics last week and taking it 'to the next level' - (class emphasis for the year).  Talked to MIL about the water aerobics... I doubt she will come back.  Said it's too expensive to join...which, while I do not have the right to judge or tell people how they should spend their money, is really not applicable in their case. Makes my husband very frustrated and me as well.  I think I may try to nudge my husband to start coming.  We will see...

This week - I am concentrating on staying away from red meat.  And eating my apple a day.  And completing my new veggie challenge.  And getting back to the pool at least once.  And getting the rest of end of year work done.  And getting a few deep cleaning things done. 

Yesterday was TRX and dog walk.  Today is work day and stretching tonight.  Tuesday is pool.  Weds is errands.  Thurs is boot camp and coaching,  Friday may be another pool day or the mountain walk.  Dog walks as rain allows. 

[ChiggerCane]

Boot camp was brutal - I loved it.  I wish I could go all out like I used to.  I kept telling myself I will get there soon.  Coaching class was inspirational (looks like I'm getting my money's worth...).  Today we discussed Discipline and Habits.  Discipline will get you to Habits.  And Motivation gets you to being Disciplined. In some areas, I am very disciplined - in others, I am a ...well, not.  We discussed the 6 types of Motivation.  We are supposed to figure out what type of motivation drives us - because it all stems from that.  Unfortunately, I think I am a mix of 5 motivational bases.    I will review my notes and give some thoughts to what I think is prevalent in my life.  I do know that I need to be more disciplined in my eating plans/habits and my exercise.  I went back to a different water aerobics class - loved it - and then did some low-keyed laps - kickboard and breast stroke.  I do need to get some goggles...and maybe a cap...and footwear...and maybe waterproof earphones and device...Too bad I am not a Reward (only one I'm not) motivated person or I could set up some sort of reward system. So many classes and I buy something else.  I will get the goggles - but will try to restrain myself from purchasing other stuff until I make sure I am on my way to making swimming a habit.  I am off to run some errands, clean up the dog messes outside and everything else that I need to do(trying to discipline myself to do what must be done even though I don't want to do it). as my coach says - SPARKLE ON.

[ChiggerCane]

5K was nice - a little chilly, but I enjoyed it.  Nice, very flat course.  I ended up walking all of it.  Which was fine as I walked with some other women from the coaching class and that was a nice way to meet some people.  We will see if we recognize each other on Thursday morning.  My time was much higher than I wanted, but for walking, really was not that bad.  Now I have something to beat in February.  The Feb selected race is at a local high school, of which I am not affiliated.  So - I debating, do I want to do that one for the social/team aspect, or look for a race I feel something about...? 

Foodwise, I am struggling.  I went through the Whole30 cookbook again last night.  There are several recipes that I 'kinda do' already  and I like.  But there are also so many recipes that are WORK and include more naturally fat meat sources than we like.  I made the sausage/kale/potato soup Saturday - but substituted ground turkey for the sausage.  It turned out really delicious.  We have some homemade pork sausage that I know will work really nicely with the recipe next time I make it.  But - what I'm really struggling with is my desire to make eating 'simple' and basic and how that seems to be in conflict with the cookbook.  I have issues when I spent so much time thinking about food and prepping food and cooking food.  Isn't this supposed to be about making food fuel?  To me that means, simple.  Little thought.  Here are the things (simple) I can eat to keep going.  Not sure I'm making sense to anyone else.  This week, I am focusing on simple, basic, staples of how to maintain this lifestyle.  We will see how my mood changes.  Frustration needs to go away.

[ArtFossil]

1 hour ago, ChiggerCane said:

5K was nice - a little chilly, but I enjoyed it.  Nice, very flat course.  I ended up walking all of it.  Which was fine as I walked with some other women from the coaching class and that was a nice way to meet some people.  We will see if we recognize each other on Thursday morning.  My time was much higher than I wanted, but for walking, really was not that bad.  Now I have something to beat in February.  The Feb selected race is at a local high school, of which I am not affiliated.  So - I debating, do I want to do that one for the social/team aspect, or look for a race I feel something about...? 

Foodwise, I am struggling.  I went through the Whole30 cookbook again last night.  There are several recipes that I 'kinda do' already  and I like.  But there are also so many recipes that are WORK and include more naturally fat meat sources than we like.  I made the sausage/kale/potato soup Saturday - but substituted ground turkey for the sausage.  It turned out really delicious.  We have some homemade pork sausage that I know will work really nicely with the recipe next time I make it.  But - what I'm really struggling with is my desire to make eating 'simple' and basic and how that seems to be in conflict with the cookbook.  I have issues when I spent so much time thinking about food and prepping food and cooking food.  Isn't this supposed to be about making food fuel?  To me that means, simple.  Little thought.  Here are the things (simple) I can eat to keep going.  Not sure I'm making sense to anyone else.  This week, I am focusing on simple, basic, staples of how to maintain this lifestyle.  We will see how my mood changes.  Frustration needs to go away.

You can make your Whole30 as simple as you choose.

A lot of us rarely use recipes or cook anything complicated. I may make a protein or two, roast vegetables or not (supplemented by frozen and fresh), make mayo and clarified butter and call it good. The other night I drove home, fed the cats and cooked dinner in 35 minutes.  I rely heavily on a George Forman grill, a microwave and my oven.

There are other things I prefer to spend my time on than cooking (even though I like to cook) and so I keep things simple.

[ChiggerCane]

So - results from this time about the same as last time.  I really don't think I have any food issues - 'real' issues - or if I do, they are quite subtle.  I know I have some trigger foods - but that's emotional, not physical.  I know what to stay away from.  Most times I do.  Various annoyances are coming to the surface again.  So - it is time to go away for awhile again. 

[ChiggerCane]

Found my old journal.  Read through.  I am actually a bit surprised how many times I have done this.  I guess my memory is failing as I don't remember the 4 (?) rotations.  But - I don't think I made this journal up. 

Here I am again.  Having the same issues.  Feeling uncomfortable in my skin.  Feeling disappointed in myself and how I have lost mental control over my eating habits.  I logged on tonight and reacted to a post from an over 50, southern lady, and have become inspired again to try again.

Even though I know years have passed, and some things are still the same, many things have happened since I last posted.  Younger son has graduated HS and is in college a couple hours away from home.  He seems happy and is doing well (I think) in his studies.  My husband and I are enjoying the empty nest.  We are full swing again into business craziness - and I have learned how to balance the anxiety of the craziness.  My older son married and seems happy.  We hosted the wedding, in the middle of nowhere on some property we own, which required an unbelievable amount of work for a long. long time. The morning of the wedding was very stressful, so stressful I told my husband I was going to have a heart attack....and 3 days later, I did.   I am fine.  My cardiologist calls it a 'non-event' in terms of impactful damage to the heart, and no intervention was required.  He believes it was a one-time, stress related event, related to my high blood pressure. And honestly, I thought it was matter of stomach flu symptoms and if I had not gone to the ER, I would have been fine and carried on as if nothing had happened.  (Until it happened again...)  I am now on a very low dose of cholesterol med a couple times a week to prevent my 'puffy' blood cells from causing any issues.  My arteries are clear, my cholesterol levels are good, my overall health is good.  But - I am (in my opinion) 30 pounds over what I want to be (actually, 40), I eat too much sugar and flour, I drink too much coffee, and I have noticed that there are times I eat way too much - because the food is there - no other reason.  I seem to have developed a need to 'eat it all' and I don't like that.  I also seem to have gained an ability to GAIN weight very easily and lost the ability to LOSE ANY weight whatsoever, no matter how I eat and/or exercise.

Exercise wise, I am doing a boot camp style class, SPIN, swimming laps, elliptical, rowing, walking, mtn walking, TRX, hand weights, occasional Yoga Stretch - but not all every week.  I am exercising more than I have in years.  I would like to get back to being able to slow jog again - but the knees and feet may not allow for that.  So, until I get to that point, I will walk.   I gave up the coaching class after 1 year. It helped at first - then fizzled on me.  In the end, I realized it was not for me. Sadly.  Cause I was really hoping I could find my backbone again.  It just reaffirms that it is up to me.  Totally.  Ultimately. Me.

Back to me.  Rising again from failure.  Changing my title again, though.  Ready to get back at it again.  This time for lifestyle change. 

 

EDIT- Can't figure out how to change my journal title.  If anyone does know how to do this, please let me know.  Thanks

 

[ShannonM816]

52 minutes ago, ChiggerCane said:

EDIT- Can't figure out how to change my journal title.  If anyone does know how to do this, please let me know.  Thanks

Unfortunately you can't change it yourself, but if you let me or one of the other mods know what you'd like it to be, we can change it for you.

 

[ChiggerCane]

Thanks Shannon.  COuld you change it to"Chigger - Back Again". 

This week has been a hard one - which ones aren't?  Work has been intense.  I did well with food until yesterday.  So - starting again tomorrow.  I browse through other journals and view pics of meals and get inspired.  When I eat 'this way', I enjoy it.  I wonder why I don't eat this way all the time.  Then, when things get busy, crazy, and wild - my mind seems to short circuit and I crave the 'bad stuff'.  I feel so much better when I don't have sugar.  So - why do I go back to it - mindlessly?

Ours is not to reason why - just do it.  Working on my plan for the week ahead.  Making note of what I have on schedule and what could trip me up. 

[ShannonM816]

@ChiggerCane I'm sorry, I really thought I could change the name of threads, but I have tried everything I can think of, and cannot find a way to do it.

You are welcome to start a new thread if you'd like, if you want a fresh start, or to keep adding to this one. If you do start a new one, be sure you've bookmarked this one or pasted a link to it somewhere so you can find it in the future.

Again, I apologize, I really thought this was something I'd done before, but I guess that must've been before the last forum updates or something. 

[ChiggerCane]

Thank you for trying.  I figure it's fate to stay with this title as I am still rising from my failure to be 100% committed.  I'll keep moving on, taking it day by day.

I have allowed myself to be distracted, overwhelmed with life, and just plain lazy.

Last night, I went to a new to me weight class at the gym.  There was a woman in the class who has me quite envious.  She seems a bit older than I am, so it's obvious, age can't be a valid 'excuse' for adding on weight as you get older.  Just how to get back to 'being in decent shape'?  And I know a lot of it is what I'm putting in my mouth.

A new month starts tomorrow.  I can get in my 30 days before Lent ends (thread I joined).  I'm working on the calendar of meals as soon as I get off here.

Still rising from failure...