creativenikki Posted January 17, 2015 Share Posted January 17, 2015 Well, I'm still here and I made it through Friday without any slips. I haven't felt sick today, so that's good. Chocolate chili and a mixed green salad for dinner tonight... What I'm really realizing though, is that this plan has turned me into a total hermit. I barely leave my house and if I do leave, it is to go to work or to the grocery store. I can't eat at restaurants and I can't drink so my social life has tanked. None of my friends are interested in coming over to make jewelry, unfortunately, and I just don't feel like I can safely leave and stay on the plan. It really sucks. I guess this shows how much food and drinks factor into my social life, even with my family. My husband, being an introvert, is loving the break I think. I'm not loving it so much and I'm starting to go crazy. I went shopping today even though I don't need or want anything. It was boring. I'm starting to wonder why I bother to get dressed in the morning since I never see anyone. Is anyone else experiencing this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmary Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Whole30 does not need to make you into a hermit. It's not easy, true, but if your friends are really friends they will hang out drinking their beers while you drink your soda water. After a while, if you don't make it a big deal, most people just kind of forget about it. Now your inner voice is a different story of course. You made a commitment to do this. Why don't you trust yourself to stay on plan when out with friends? I would guess trying it, and proving to yourself that you can get through it, could be very liberating (and maybe have a good time while you are at it?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina R Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Yes. I no longer eat at restaurants or at other peoples homes. It is so frustrating trying to explain to people what you can't eat. You look like a big pain in the A. It is also no fun to go to a party where everyone is eating pizza and beer and you are drinking water. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Hopefully for you you can go back to partying with your friends when your whole30 is over. I have to eat this way and so I find my life so much less stressful when I just eat at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GFChris Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 Going out to eat can be done in a Whole30 compliant way, and be enjoyable. Part of it is knowing the restaurants that are most amenable, and feeling confident in the questions you need to ask. I attended a family birthday luncheon earlier today at a local Greek restaurant. I was able to have salad with dressing, broiled sole with steamed green beans and roasted potatoes: all prepared in a compliant way. When the hosts ordered wine for the table and I was asked if I wanted some, I said "Not today, thank you" and ordered myself a soda water and lime. When they brought out a huge birthday cake for dessert, I enjoyed my black decaf coffee. Now granted, I've been living gluten-free for over 8 years, so I've had LOTS of practice asking questions and making requests. Your best bet are places with gluten-free menus or options and/or that cook to order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativenikki Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 It's not that my friends/family don't want to see me or would be bothered if I'm not drinking. I guess I just don't really trust myself in that situation. I hosted a baby shower last weekend and I survived, but I did end up drinking a lot of orange juice that night, which isn't ideal. I made "mimosas" with seltzer and OJ. There are restaurants I can go to, but not every place works. My friend invited me to this Italian place yesterday, for example, and I couldn't find even one thing on the menu that was remotely compliant. I would have had to go there straight from work, so I ended up just declining. Blah. I hate feeling this isolated. I guess that's one of my issues; I fold easily in social situations because I don't want to be perceived as annoying or odd. Unfortunately, I cannot eat the way my friends and family do and lose/maintain my weight. I need to be extra restrictive to see even very slight progress. Anyway, I guess I'm just really tired of being at home. I've done so many pinterest projects, I've cleaned every room and I've washed every dish and kitchen utensil I own about 5 times in the last 13 days. I miss wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jent103 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 I can empathize - the social aspect is definitely the hardest part of being on a Whole30 for me, and I've done two plus a Whole14. It does get easier, as you figure out which places around you have friendlier options, and you figure out how to navigate when they don't. Can you be proactive about suggesting places to meet your friends that are easier to work into a Whole30? For example, a coffee shop with good (black) coffee or good teas instead of a bar, or a restaurant that emphasizes meats and vegetables instead of pasta or sandwiches? In Chicago in January, I'm guessing outdoor socialization options like hiking or picnics are limited , but maybe suggest an activity instead of eating or drinking. Maybe they're not interested in coming to your house to make jewelry, but maybe they are interested in going to a craft fair or something like that. When you do make plans at a restaurant, try to call them ahead of time during a non-busy time of day and ask questions about the ingredients. That will give you some good information ahead of time about what you can eat. You don't say what day you're on - especially if you're early on, I can totally understand not trusting yourself. But I'm with MissMary - doing it even once will show you that yes, it IS possible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativenikki Posted January 18, 2015 Author Share Posted January 18, 2015 Today is day 13 for me. So, yeah, it's still pretty new. The thing yesterday was something my friend already had planned with other people and just invited me along, so in that case I had no say in where she/we would go. My friends and I tend to hang out at one another's houses, but we are usually eating. I should have just invited people over here tonight, but I felt so awful (as in sick) yesterday that I didn't think I could handle it. I don't know what that was about yesterday though, I feel fine today. Maybe I'll invite the usual suspects over next weekend. I have the entertainment house; as I type this I'm less than 10 feet away from the kegerator full of homebrew and dragon's milk. Avoiding that stuff when no one is using it is tough enough! But, if I feel physically good next weekend I'm sure I can handle it. It's very weird that I haven't had my friends over here in 3 weekends. I usually host my family (parents and sisters) once a week to "watch" the Bachelor and I haven't done that since starting Whole 30 because I didn't think I could handle it. I don't know why I'm so worried about it, but I just am. I'm actually surprised at how little I miss eating out. I want to go out to eat just to get out of the house, but the actual food I don't miss that much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jent103 Posted January 18, 2015 Share Posted January 18, 2015 You can TOTALLY do this if you have people over to your house!! Avoiding the beer might be tough, but if you can control the food (at least most of it) you are golden. Make things you can and like to eat, and if other people want to bring desserts or drinks, at least you'll have what you've made and know you like. For example, if you usually do pizza/wings/that kind of thing for your Bachelor parties, there are tons of great Whole30-approved wing recipes out there; you could do plantain nachos; you could do a great dip with homemade mayo and raw veggies... tons of ideas. If you're looking for "party food," this post from Mel Joulwan about Super Bowl food might give you a good place to start. http://theclothesmakethegirl.com/2014/01/31/ultimate-paleo-super-bowl-recipes/ I almost always cook basically Whole30, and no lie, people love it. Most of my friends know how I eat at this point, and they also have had enough of my food to know it's going to be good even if it's something new for them. And I find that going over to a friend's house is actually one of the easiest ways for me to socialize on a Whole30 - I just plan ahead and pack a dinner with me (explaining the situation if they're making a bunch of food, but a lot of times we just potluck). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kntrygrl Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I'm not trying to be mean but maybe you could try making a new group of friends that are interested in the same healthy habits as you. Join a crossfit gym. You will find compliant people there and keep up the healthy lifestyle and convert your existing friends by example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativenikki Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 I'm not trying to be mean but maybe you could try making a new group of friends that are interested in the same healthy habits as you. Join a crossfit gym. You will find compliant people there and keep up the healthy lifestyle and convert your existing friends by example. I understand what you are saying, and that is honestly what has me so frustrated. I aleady have friends, I have hobbies I enjoy, and aside from my weight I'm very happy with my life. Yet, it seems like the only way I will be able to lose weight is to throw all of that away. I need to make Crossfit my hobby (I have tried Crossfit twice and hated it), I need new friends, I need to spend all my time outside of work in the kitchen, etc. It really does seem like that is the only way people make permanent weight loss work and it sucks. I think I would probably rather just stay fat if that is what it takes. I am sure fitness feels great, but if I cannot get fit without Crossfit then that is just not happening for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GFChris Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 So if you hate Crossfit, don't do it. :-) There are countless other options for physical activity. Choose one you like or are motivated to try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jent103 Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Amen. Crossfit isn't the only way to be active. I've never done it specifically, but did do a bootcamp-style class for 2.5 years. It was good for awhile, but I eventually quit because I'd started hating it and it wasn't doing me much good. I go to a vinyasa yoga class a few times a week and MUCH prefer that - it's good for me mentally and physically. Meanwhile, I have a friend who is super excited to go to Crossfit. Everyone is different. You sound kind of overwhelmed in your posts. Why not just focus on the food for the duration of your Whole30? If you're not currently exercising, you could add some walking or something else low-key if you want, but pick this one thing to focus on first without trying to figure out everything all at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativenikki Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 Jent, you are right, I am overwhelmed in a sense. I'm overwhelmingly bored, to be honest. I've been gluten-free for over 3 years and primal most of that time as well. Whole30 is definitely more strict than what I am used to, but it's not like I was coming from SAD. The hardest part of Whole 30 is that I can't do anything without planning in advance. Oh, and the no alcohol... that is tough. I guess I'm just so desperate to see a change that I don't know what to do. I'm not seeing any changes yet with Whole30 and, honestly, it's making me mad. I have started exercising, a little. I've did HIIT on the elliptical Saturday and today. I had contacted a trainer, but I am hesitating now. I don't like exercise. I cannot commit to Crossfit or anything that extreme. I've tried it and honestly the environment just really put me off. I hated paying $150 a month to hang out in an ugly warehouse and be yelled at. Plus, the times and locations just didn't work with my schedule. Anyway, I guess I'm just ready to see some magic (day 15, no magic yet). I'm determined to do something fun this weekend though, because I cannot stand being isolated any longer. I broke the rules today and checked my measurements. No change. I'm impatient right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jent103 Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 Yep, the advance planning is definitely a commitment. I can empathize with that! You're only halfway through. Everyone is different, but by this point in my first Whole30 I had just gotten back to feeling my "normal" - no magic. You've committed to yourself to do the 30 days, so focus on that and try not to set expectations for yourself before it's time. Easier said that done, I know, but it'll help a lot. Absolutely do something fun this weekend, or better yet, before! There is NO reason that Whole30 should keep you from living your life and socializing - socialization is hugely important. It may look different from what you're used to, but that might be a good thing. The important thing is to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina R Posted January 19, 2015 Share Posted January 19, 2015 I have done 3 whole30s and haven't seen a lot of change. My acid reflux went away on the last one but now it is back. I don't eat gluten or dairy normally so not sure what that is all about. Other than that I felt and looked exactly the same. I even have a before and after picture that looks like two before pictures. Some of us need to eat other things to feel good. I am still trying to figure out what that is. The whole30 can help you figure out what works for you but you really need to stick with the whole30 days. You could also have other issues like adrenal fatigue, hormonal issues or thyroid issues that will really stop your progress. I am researching that issue for myself now. Keep going, this too shall pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creativenikki Posted January 19, 2015 Author Share Posted January 19, 2015 I have done 3 whole30s and haven't seen a lot of change. My acid reflux went away on the last one but now it is back. I don't eat gluten or dairy normally so not sure what that is all about. Other than that I felt and looked exactly the same. I even have a before and after picture that looks like two before pictures. Some of us need to eat other things to feel good. I am still trying to figure out what that is. The whole30 can help you figure out what works for you but you really need to stick with the whole30 days. You could also have other issues like adrenal fatigue, hormonal issues or thyroid issues that will really stop your progress. I am researching that issue for myself now. Keep going, this too shall pass. If I don't see any changes from this I am going to be very disappointed. If your profile picture is any indication, I have a lot farther to go than you do. I mean, I'm carrying at least 50 extra pounds if BMI is accurate. I was about 37% body fat when I started, according to my scale. I also used to drink wine almost every single day. I thought just that change alone would result in weight loss. Ah well. All I can do is keep going. I just hope I'm not totally spinning my wheels, but only time will tell. Edited to add, I just got home from shopping for a new coat. Wow, that was depressing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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