Regina's Whole 30

[loveflyfree]

okay so here I go.  today was the first day of my Whole 30.  I did well I think.  the real test will come tomorrow when I wake up and feel like I've been hit by a truck.  that's something to look forward to.

 

M1: Eggs, onions, bell peppers, brussel sprouts, and avocado

M2: Chicken, onions, ginger, cilantro, bananas and macadamia nuts

M3: Steak (local, grass-fed), squash, onions, red potatoes

 

everything was delicious and I felt full but not stuffed after all of my meals.  so that right there is an improvement over how I have been eating.  I have a multitude of health problems (high bp, high cholesterol, diabetes, ulcerative colitis) but none of them flared up.  my blood pressure was a little elevated this morning, but nothing to get too excited about.  I can't find my glucose monitor, which is annoying (and what happens when you're in the process of preparing to move to another state in a few months.  I quite literally can't find anything right now... aka how did I get this much stuff.)  so hopefully I will find that, or just go get a new one and then I can track that.  I did weigh myself this morning just to get a baseline.  since I tend to go weeks without stepping on the scale, I don't think I'll have a problem with that step.  

 

my biggest concern about this plan is going to be the stretch to my budget.  I felt like I spent more than I normally would at the grocery store.  but then since I won't be eating fast food maybe it will balance out.  idk the total on my grocery receipt just freaked me out a bit.  (I will admit that I splurged on grass-fed beef and lots of fish.)

 

I feel pretty good.  I did hit an energy low this afternoon, but after I drank some tea I felt fine.  I have some apprehensions about tomorrow.  trying to do this while at work.  a luncheon that I know I have to go to but I don't know where it's being held so I can't pre-plan my food options.  getting up early enough to have breakfast before work. (because yeah that never happens.)  it's weird like all of this stuff is easy when you look at each piece but all together it feels really daunting.  I know I can do it, but that doesn't mean I don't get to feel scared about it.  

 

beyond the food and my fears and all that I just babbled about above, I really want to try and remember one thing that made me happy each day.  I'm a nerd, so these things will likely be geeky in nature but whatevs.  today I think it's gonna be http://robbinsskarev.tumblr.com/post/109839126401/ellenpompeo-we-dem-boys-oh-yes-they-are because sure I hate the Patriots but how can you not be charmed by Captain America?  

[abarbs]

Congrats on making the first day! I'm starting today. It is always helpful to have someone on here who started about the same time. For me the fatigue hits me at the end of the first week. I get the "did I get hit by a truck yesterday?" feeling when I wake up on like day 5. I just try to sleep a ton-which who has time for that? Anyway, keep up the good work! Here's to day 2. 

[loveflyfree]

Day 2.  I started off feeling just fine but wow did I hit a wall about half way through the day.  By the time I got home from work I was absolutely exhausted.  Eating dinner definitely helped but I still just want to curl up and go to bed.

 

M1: leftovers from dinner last night

M2: steamed oysters, avocado, banana

M3: tuna, spinach, onion, bell pepper, mushrooms, blackberries

 

Food wasn't really a problem today.  I went out to lunch with co-workers but did okay with the oysters.  Although the rest of the table split dessert and that sucked a lot.  And there was a lot of "oh come on Regina just a bite."  I politely declined but ugh.  

 

My brain is completely scrambled tonight.  I'm gonna go crash but first a happy thing.  These aren't my puppies, just a picture I keep around to help me smile.

 

 

Thanks for the encouragement abarbs!  Good luck to you as well.  I take it you've done the program before.  I have to admit at this point the thought of having even finished one let alone starting another sounds rather daunting.  But I guess I'll never know what I'm capable of until I try.  

[loveflyfree]

Day 87.  oh excuse me.  Day 3.  Have I not been doing this forever?  Still feel awful, still want to curl up in a little ball and fall asleep.  I'm pretty ready for this stage to be over but I know everyone goes through it.  Is this some sort of misery loves company thing?  

 

M1: Eggs, olives, banana

M2: Eggs, avocado, strawberries

M3: Tuna, asparagus, macadamia nuts

 

Okay see I know I'm not hungry.  I know I'm not.  But all I want to do is go into the kitchen and STUFF MY FACE.  Stop it brain!  You're being dumb.  So instead I'm going to sit down with Hulu and watch last night's episode of The Originals.  And maybe staring at this sweet face will make me feel better.

 

[loveflyfree]

Day 4.  I did indeed feel like killing everyone that came within my line of sight today up until about noon.  Coincidentally that is when I ate my lunch and suddenly I was much more pleasant to be around.  Amazing.  I did have to tell a co-worker that I couldn't speak with him this morning.  He was actually super cool about it and then when he came back around this afternoon and I shared a little bit why I'm such a crazy person right now, he started telling me about how he's watching what he eats and went through some bad cravings recently too.  Yay for shared craziness.  Seriously though all morning I could feel how over the top, out of control my emotions were to anything that was going on.  In the interest of keeping my job I just put my head down and went through a ton of paperwork.  So I was murderous, but at least I was productive.

 

M1: Scrambled eggs w spinach and banana

M2: Sauteed veggies (bell pepper, onion, squash) with chicken

M3: Collard greens and hamburger, grapes.

 

I was so out of it at work that I apparently left my office and went over to the shredder to get rid of a few documents and then while back at my office I couldn't find those documents that I needed to shred.  because I already had. which I had no recollection of.  Awesome.  Seriously I know that this is just all my hormones and stuff trying to get all balanced out after the years of junk but wow.  WOW.  I sort of need an adult right now.

 

I'm definitely not having the cravings I had the first few days.  So that's nice.  I mean sure I still think about various food stuffs (whyyyyy can't I get pb&j out of my head) but I don't have the all consuming cravings that were especially bad yesterday.  Still really low energy and I see that after I get over being Murder Girl that I have more tiredness to look forward to.  The part that gets me is that I DID THIS TO MYSELF.  the reactions I'm having is because I've been TERRIBLE about the food I eat.  Bah.

 

Things I definitely need to do better.  Meal planning.  I actually got up early enough this morning to make breakfast before work which was fantastic.  And last night I prepped everything for my lunch today.  So yay I've seen that it can work.  Now I just need to make myself do it all the time.  And I definitely need to check out more recipes because I'm already a little tired of fried eggs and scrambled eggs.

 

Happy thing for today: 1. my co-worker Laurie who has made a point each day to stop by my office and ask me how it's going.  we were in the break room together last week when I was reading It Starts With Food and we got to talking and she's very interested in it.  plus she's just really nice.  I wouldn't have thought that something so minor would have such a big affect on my day but it does.  2. tax return baby!  good times.  now hurry up and get here money. <3

[loveflyfree]

oh man I forgot to post last night!  probably because I spent a lot of time prepping food for today.  anyway Day 5.  I was less murderous but still a little emotionally unstable.  I definitely got better over the course of the day.

 

M1: collard greens and hamburger, banana

M2: collard greens and hamburger (I made a lot), mixed berries

M3: leeks, cucumber, ginger, scallops, avocado

 

I'm pretty sure I've dropped a few pounds and I've never been so tempted to step on a scale before.  But I won't.  Anyway my jeans felt looser yesterday which is a really nice feeling.  I know I still have the bloated stage to look forward to so I'm not really basing my sense of self worth on looser fitting clothes, but it was nice nonetheless.  

 

Happy things from yesterday.  BFF making plans for trip we're taking together in April.  Listening to Slacker radio's Top 120 Alternative Songs (although Stone Roses "Love Spreads" needed to be SO MUCH HIGHER.)  Getting email from student loan peeps telling me my forbearance was approved.  Yay good things!

[loveflyfree]

Day 6.  I felt really good today.  Maybe a little tired, but I think that might have just been general end of the work week tiredness.  Everything was actually really easy today.  No major cravings, all my food tasted good and then I was full until my next meal.  It's all very strange.  

 

M1: leeks, cucumber, ginger, scallops, avocado

M2: chicken, onion, bell pepper, brussel sprouts, olives and strawberries

M3: chicken, onion, bell pepper, brussel sprouts, avocado, blackberries, banana

 

Happy things.  I mentioned it's Friday right?  Ummm talking to my mom and finding out she's already found me a few catering jobs when I come visit her this summer.  Work BFF has been working out of town and she was back today!  WOOT!  

[loveflyfree]

Day 7!  A whole week!  I'm feeling very eye-of-the-tiger, you're-going-to-hear-me-roar right now.  I've definitely settled into a nice rhythm with the program.  I feel confident about what I'm eating and today while I was grocery shopping it was an absolute breeze.  no more wandering the aisles with dead eyes, grabbing at whatever package manages to snag my attention.  I went straight to the produce section and then back to the meats and then I was done.  I think I only spent like 20-30 minutes in there.  and at least 10 of those were spent reading the labels on sardines.  

 

M1: eggs, spinach, cilantro, tomatillo salsa, banana

M2: salad from Chipotle (lettuce, grilled vegetables, steak, salsa (mild and medium), guacamole)

M3: baby spring mix, kalamata olives, okra pickles, smoked oysters, sardines

 

bless Chipotle Grill.  I was able to eat out and about among other human beings.  it was glorious.  (I live alone you see.  so the act of preparing all of my meals has left me feeling a weee bit isolated.)  but my salad was pretty delicious and just being out of my tiny house and around other people made me feel so much better.  

 

happy things.  

 

 

 

Tyler Hoechlin you shut your stupid beautiful face!  (JR Bourne you are a menace!)  ugh they're so cute.  let's seeeeee.  um any and all versions of the song "Uptown Funk."  the fact that it was 70 degrees today.  in the middle of winter!  which I haaaaaaaate but oh god it was so warm and lovely.  please stay unseasonably warm weather.  don't listen to those people who say it should be snowing.  what do they know?  nothing.  nothing at all.  

[loveflyfree]

Oh damn I forgot to update yesterday.  That's okay though.  I was in A Mood so maybe it's better I didn't

 

Also yes I am updating this at 6:30 in the morning.  Why?  Because I've been awake since 5.  I don't know if I like this.  I mean sure it's kind of great to have already eaten breakfast and I still have an hour before I have to leave for work but I also like to sleep.  Couldn't I wake at like 6?  That seems like a reasonable compromise.  

 

Okay so Day 8 looked like this:

 

M1: eggs, spinach, bell pepper, avocado

M2: salmon, olives, banana, tangerine

M3: chicken, spinach, tomato, onion, olives, banana

 

I had a good morning yesterday, but then once it hit afternoon I slipped into a weird funk that I just couldn't shake.  So I'm having trouble thinking of too many happy things from yesterday.  Actually that's a lie.  Because the thing that makes me happiest is my BFF Mel who just gets me.  And since she knows I don't have cable tv, she sent me a clip from the Grammy's with Hozier and Annie Lennox which was completely amaze.  (Although Annie you and I are still fighting about the comments you made about Beyonce.  Don't think this changes anything.)  So that made me smile.  Also right now I can see the gif set I posted on Saturday and really their dumb faces are enough to make me smile almost anytime.  <3

[loveflyfree]

Day 9.  Well that whole waking up super early thing pretty much kicked my ass today.  I was super tired most of the day, only getting my second wind once I got home from work.  Which you know was nice for when I made dinner and everything but I could have used that energy while the day was s l o w l y passing by.  

 

M1: baby greens, cod, olives, pickled okra

M2: chicken, spinach, tomato, onion, olives, banana

M3: steak, onion, mushrooms, spinach, tangerines

 

My cravings are weird.  I don't want chocolate or ice cream.  I was a freakin' peanut butter and jelly sandwich on squishy white bread.  Also I think a burrito would taste amazeballs.  But for the most part I'm happy with the food I'm eating (so. many.  eggggggs.) I do need to poke around at more recipes.  Maybe a few things I can make large batches of to make lunches easier.  We'll see.

 

Happy things.  Like most people this song is my JAM right now

 

https://www.youtube.com/embed/OPf0YbXqDm0

 

Seriously is there anyone who can listen to this and not want to shake their booty?  If there is I don't want to know.  Other happy stuff... dumb teenage werewolf shows that I love have started shooting again.  Pretty sure season 5 starts up in June.  Yesssssss.  Oh I'll be living with my mom then.  Eh she'll watch it with me.  We're bros like that.  

[loveflyfree]

Ugh forgot again last night to update.  

 

Day 10:

 

M1: banana, almonds

M2: steak, onion, mushrooms, spinach, tangerines

M3: asparagus, salad mix, olives, shrimp, pickled okra

 

I know by morning meal was not good but I just couldn't face food.  I felt sick to my stomach and just the thought of food almost made me sick.  So I compromised and at the banana (slowly) and by mid-morning I felt better.  except I was also starving, which is when I had a handful of almonds.  by lunch I was feeling just fine so idk what my body was doing.  

 

Day 11:

 

M1: eggs, avocado, banana

M2: asparagus, salad mix, olives, shrimp, pickled okra, tangerines

M3: pizza soup (olives, mushrooms, mini pepperoni, broccoli, tomato, broth)

 

oh dear god the pizza soup recipe from http://theclothesmakethegirl.com/ is amazing.  I am going to eat this so much.  I didn't have any sausage but I did have some mini pepperoni which made a delicious substitute (but ngl can't wait to try it with good sausage.)  my day went sideways at some point and by the time I got home I was so crankyfaced.  so this soup was perfect. easy and delicious.  I do want to tinker with it though and add more veggies I think. (mostly because my favorite varieties of pizza tend to skew more towards vegetarian.   oooooh artichoke hearts.  yes.)

 

so yeah work was okay and then became terrible.  it finished up at okay again but I was just drained from today.  I was talking with my supervisor today who mentioned she would be in the office tomorrow (she normally works out of a different location) and I said "oh are the interviews tomorrow?" (because we recently had someone leave) and she paused and then said "we're meeting with someone."  which is a really odd way of answering that question.  I can only hope they're not rehiring someone who worked here before, mostly because she doesn't like me and I don't really want to deal with that.  although you know.  I can and I will if it comes to it.  MEH. 

 

SO HAPPY THINGS.  since I did not post last night I did not get to flail about the latest episode of The Originals which is SO GOOD I CAN NOT.  I don't even know where to start.  that's a lie.  Elijah.  Elijah is where I will always begin and finish.  REPRESSED 1000 YEAR OLD VAMPIRES SUFFERING FROM PTSD ARE MY JAM.  uh apparently.  but come on.  he was literally mending fences.  show you are not subtle but I love you anyway.  other things that made me smile today: singing along loudly (and poorly) to "Blank Space" and realizing that tomorrow is already Thursday.  SWEET.  

[loveflyfree]

Day 12:

 

M1: pizza soup, banana

M2: pizza soup, tangerines

M3: salmon, tomatoes, olives, spinach, banana

 

today was hard and I'm feeling really fragile so I'm just going to log my food and that's pretty much it.  I guess a happy thing could be that tomorrow is Friday.  

[loveflyfree]

Wow.  how did I let myself go all weekend without updating?  oh well.

 

Day 13:

 

M1: salmon, tomoatoes, olives, spinach, banana

M2: salad from Chipotle (carnitas, medium salsa, guacamole)

M3: chicken, onions, peppers

 

Day 14:

 

M1: chicken, onions, peppers

M2: salad, oysters, olives, banana

M3: pumpkin chili, tangerine

 

Day 15:

 

M1: pumpkin chili

M2: steak, onions, mushrooms, potato

M3: pumpkin chili, tangerines

 

Happy things.  HOLY COW EVERYONE GO SEE JUPITER ASCENDING.  this is without a doubt the best bad movie I have ever seen.  like don't try to make sense of it, don't try to think about it too hard.  just go and immerse yourself in crazy space action and enjoy Channing Tatum be Channing Tatum.  everything about it was absolutely glorious.  my friend said she looked over at me at one point and my face was one of utter delight.  so much fun.  

 

(also look at me hitting the half way mark. I AM AWESOME.)

[loveflyfree]

Day 16:

 

M1: pumpkin chili, banana

M2: pumpkin chili, tangerines

M3: salami, olives, pickles, fruit salad (banana, tangerine, blackberries)

 

so this is what it feels like to be on the downward slope.  I like it.  although I'm ngl I am totally bored with the way I eat.  I know there are things that I could be doing, but a lot of those require time/money that I don't really have right now.  so I'm just going to have to save the more adventurous whole 30 for sometime this summer when I repeat it.  (because oh yeah I decided I would wait a few months and then do it again.  I like how I feel when I'm eating this way.)

 

happy things.  these idiots are at it again. http://letthisloveflyfree.tumblr.com/post/111244671855/jr-and-hoechlin-being-adorable-at-wb2-x  I just can't with them.

[loveflyfree]

Day 17:

 

M1: pumpkin chili, banana

M2; pumpkin chili, tangerines

M3: salad greens, mushrooms, olives, sardines, eggs

 

I appear to be in a bit of a rut.  it's ok though because it's less cooking I have to do during the week.  besides next week I'll probably be cooking a lot since I will be housesitting and they have a way nicer kitchen than I do.  

 

meanwhile I'm not sure about happy things tonight because I just watched last night's episode of The Originals and am not sure how I can every be happy again. everything is terrible and nothing is good.  SIGH.  actually this list is a good list.  http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/02/most-satisfying-tv-kisses?mbid=social_twitter .  it's definitely filled with happy things.

[loveflyfree]

Day 18:

 

M1: eggs

M2: pumpkin chili, tangerines

M3: pizza soup

 

Day 19:

 

M1: banana, tangerine

M2: pizza soup

M3: sausage, peppers, onions

 

Day 20:

 

M1: chicken, tangerines

M2: chicken, tangerine, blackberries, banana

M3: salmon burger, olives, blackberries, banana

 

I've made my announcements at work that I'll only be working there for two more months.  everyone is really supportive of what I'm doing and I'm actually a little sad about it all.  much more than I thought I would be.  I mean I'm excited to be moving back home for a while and to spending time with my family so I don't for a second regret it.  but I think it's going to be harder than I anticipated to leave here.  who knew.

 

I've hit a point where I both want to eat like this forever and also want to shove sugar into my face.  like my cravings are so weird.  frozen yogurt, god how i want some frozen yogurt.  like with sugared strawberries and sprinkles on top.  also I'm just tired.  I'm tired of all the meal planning and cooking and worrying when I try to go out and just ugh.  I'm not going to quit and I'm not going to stop eating like this one the 30 days are over, I'm just tired.  

 

so happy things.  

 

 

look at how painfully beautiful he is.  I want to marry him.  he's just too many.

[loveflyfree]

well today has been a mess.  I went into work with the intention of being there for 2, maybe 2.5 hours.  instead it was 4 and it through my whole day off.

 

M1: grazing on carrots, pickles, almonds and almond butter

M2: more grazing on roast beef, banana, and a lara bar (cherry pie)

M3: chicken burger with mushrooms

 

so for the first two meals I didn't actually have meals.  I was just able to grab things to eat here and there.  but I did finish all my errands and have gotten settled in at the house I'm sitting at for the next week.  the dogs are adorable and the house is nice so it should be a good week.  I've loaded up on turkey burgers, chicken burgers and fish burgers, plus enough veggies to feed myself while I'm here.  

 

also I've gotta say those lara bars are a godsend.  I thought I was going to pass out from not eating by the time I was able to shove that in my face.  so I have no idea if it really tasted that good or if I was just grateful to have something to eat.  either way I bought a couple to stash in my desk in case I get stuck at work again.  

 

also man is the timeline accurate with the food boredom that sets in at this point.  like I love everything that's going on with my body and skin and energy and all that but ugh food is boring and dumb.  and while on weekends I have time to cook, I don't always want to be stuck inside losing my whole day to cooking.  (since I live in one of the few areas of the country where winter is not kicking everyone's ass.)  blergh.  also I just want to go out with my friends and not have to work so hard at ordering food.  I am no fun to hang out with right now.  

 

happy things.  cutie pie dogs that like to snuggle next to me when they sleep.  hilarious texts to/from my bff while trying not to creep on the hot dude at trader joe's.  bbcamerica playing 'silence of the lambs' which is still one of my favorite movies ever.  and also my sis-in-law posted a super adorbs pic of her and my brother on instagram earlier.  <3

[loveflyfree]

Day 22:

 

M1: banana, and something else I actually can not think of right now.  wow.

M2: smoked salmon, banana, lara bar

M3: roast beef, blackberries

 

everything is fine I guess.  I'm eating good, I'm trying to keep myself busy and engaged and positive and all of that.  although I've got to say that some of the latest email really sat wrong with me.  this whole just be happy mindset is deeply harmful to people with depression.  it's just one more thing we can fail at so just know that on this family friendly blog I'm thinking words that can't be repeated.  it's not okay to just be so blase about 'oh just do this' and 'just do that' when it comes to happiness.  for some people it's a struggle every single day and we do it, we do what we can.  how dare anyone try to make it seem like that's not enough.

 

also while I have my rant pants on, I can't help but notice that this whole eating plan is really classist.  not everyone has the resources to be able to cook like this, to afford this kind of food, to even have access to this kind of food.  reading posts that are jusst like 'LOL just make your mayo with an immersion blender.'  yeah okay I'll run right out and buy that. just like I'll buy my mandolin, my food processor and whatever other gadget that y'all seem to think are necessary.  I just.  it's enraging and it's hurtful and it's why I have kept to myself throughout most of this journey.  (online.  I've reached out to my friends who have been incredibly supportive.)  

 

it's not that I think the eating plan is bad.  I think it's amazing and I think it's doing wonderful things for me.  I just think that it has gotten embraced by a mostly white, mostly middle/upper class who then turn around and make statements that are probably not intentionally hurtful but sting nonetheless.  

 

ugh idk maybe I'm just cranky from watching the oscars.  although it gave me this so it will be my happy thing:

 

[Kmlynne]

 

everything is fine I guess.  I'm eating good, I'm trying to keep myself busy and engaged and positive and all of that.  although I've got to say that some of the latest email really sat wrong with me.  this whole just be happy mindset is deeply harmful to people with depression.  it's just one more thing we can fail at so just know that on this family friendly blog I'm thinking words that can't be repeated.  it's not okay to just be so blase about 'oh just do this' and 'just do that' when it comes to happiness.  for some people it's a struggle every single day and we do it, we do what we can.  how dare anyone try to make it seem like that's not enough.

 

also while I have my rant pants on, I can't help but notice that this whole eating plan is really classist.  not everyone has the resources to be able to cook like this, to afford this kind of food, to even have access to this kind of food.  reading posts that are jusst like 'LOL just make your mayo with an immersion blender.'  yeah okay I'll run right out and buy that. just like I'll buy my mandolin, my food processor and whatever other gadget that y'all seem to think are necessary.  I just.  it's enraging and it's hurtful and it's why I have kept to myself throughout most of this journey.  (online.  I've reached out to my friends who have been incredibly supportive.)  

 

 

 

 

 

Hi loveflyfree,

 

I have been following your log and just really wanted to respond to you on this.  

 

As a fellow sufferer of chronic (has been severe) depression, I know where you are coming from.  That being said, I think you will find that this style of eating can really help - but it does take time.  Last year, I did a whole 100.  Its wasn't until nearly the end of it that I began to realize that getting through the day was a bit easier - and (gasp), I was actually having periods of true happiness.  

 

Part of the key to killing depression (or at least make it more bearable) is to eat enough good food.  Follow the template.  Make sure you have protein, fat and veggies at every meal.  Sometimes, I think that my sugar cravings disguise themselves in my depression.  They are triggered by eating too much fruit.  I really have to follow the template suggestions of only 2 servings of fruit a day, eaten with a meal or they get out of hand.  I also discovered during my first w100 that if I didn't eat enough sugar, I had problems.  Adding a sweet potato every once in a while really helped me.

 

It is true that it can be a bit more expensive to eat well - but you can do it on a budget.  I don't have the budget for organic, grass-fed, pasturized meats.  I eat as cleanly as I can, but most of the time, I go for the cheapest, on sale stuff I can get.  When the budget doesn't allow for fresh veggies, I head for the freezer section.  I buy the big bags and just heat a portion at a time.  This also gives me plenty in the freezer for when I am running low on time and energy.  Ground meats are great.  (Do you live in an area where there are hunter?  I have, in the past, gone to hunt clubs and gotten ground venison for about 1.50 a pound - how is that for organic grass-fed meat).  Cook up a batch of ground burger and keep it in the fridge.  You can change it up each day by adding new stuff to it.  One day, reheat it in the skillet with some canned tomato and olives for an Italian night - reheat with green beans, basil and coconut amino with some shredded coconut on top for Thai night.  

 

As far as the equipment - mayo can be made with a whisk - it just takes longer.  Immersion blenders can be found for 25-35 dollars.  Set aside (if you can) a dollar or two a week and you will soon have one.  There are so many recipes that call for special items, but you can be creative and use something else.  (i.e.:  tuna cakes that call for a muffin tin.  I just make patties out of them and cook them on some parchment paper).  google paleo on a budget to find some good cheap recipes that only use a few ingredients.  Slowly build up your spices as you can afford them.  

 

I love how, in your posts, you always find something to bring you to a happy place - your pictures, songs, links and happy thoughts are great!  I encourage you to continue this journey - it can really make such a difference in your life, and to your happiness.

[loveflyfree]

Day 23:

 

M1: larabar, banana

M2: tuna packed in olive oil, blackberries

M3: mahi burger, peppers, onions, banana peppers, clams

 

Day 24: 

M1: ham, blackberries

M2: mahi burger, peppers, onions, banana peppers, clams

M3: ham, scrambled eggs, mushrooms, blackberries

 

kmlynne, THANK YOU.  sometimes I just need someone to put things in perspective.  I went to the doctor today and she was so so happy with my progress and I KNOW that I'm getting better with all my various medical problems (and possibly the depression although obviously Sunday it reared it's ugly head again) but sometimes I just need someone to point out what is apparently right in front of my face.  

 

(also I know we're not supposed to weigh but they weighed me at the doctor today and I hit a personal goal so that I think will actually be a little push to help me get through the week.)

 

once the 30 days are over I know I'm going to continue to eat like this most of the time.  I am however going to go out to a restaurant and not stress out about what I'm ordering.  that is going to be such a relief.  I know there are ways around it all at restaurants, and I've been that girl a couple of times and sent my food back until they got it right.  still it's going to be nice to just open up the menu and order something and not have a tiny panic attack trying to figure out what modifications I have to make to be able to eat.  

 

(although the lack of eating out has saved me money.  so there's that side of it too.)

 

happy things: I scheduled a facial for this Saturday that I'm really looking forward to.  also I got some makeup today that I ordered so yay for pretty things.  speaking of pretty things...

 

 

like okay I know he has a very lovely girlfriend but UGH.  why can't he be miiiiiine?  also what is going on with his eyes?  they look more hazel than normal.  too beautiful.

[loveflyfree]

Day 25

 

M1: banana

M2: turkey burger, zucchini, eggplant

M3: turkey burger, mushrooms, larabar

 

oh man.  I know I know my breakfast was not enough but I was up all night with some kind of stomach virus and frankly I was a little worried the banana wouldn't stay down.  it did thank goodness, but everything hurt and it was terrible so I left work early.  (although I got a message from my friend that the internet went down like minutes after I left so I probably got as much done napping all afternoon as I did had I stayed at work.)

 

seriously though I got hit hard.  everything hurt so bad I was in tears by the time I left.  I made my lunch and hoped for the best.  it actually tasted good and stayed down and then ALL THE NAPS.  the puppy was pouty because I wouldn't let her in the bedroom but I needed that sleep so bad.  

 

but I must say I made some tasty turkey burgers.  go me.  

 

happy things:  no longer being sick.  King Arthur being on TV, and the fact that I can't watch it without mentally quoting the Movies in 15 Minutes version.  ("Baby, I'm Clive Owen. I think I know where it is. ")  

[loveflyfree]

Day 26

 

M1: ham, banana

M2: lettuce, jalapenos, chicken, hamburger, onions, mild green chili

M3: mushrooms, peppers, onions, olives, garlic, shrimp

 

busy day at work.  frustrating developments regarding me having to train new employees when I don't really get paid to do that.  I have a feeling I'm going to end up doing it regardless.  I only have two months left and I don't want anything jeopardizing what kind of recommendation I get.  so that kind of blows.  oh well.  it is only two months and then I'll be free of this place.  thank goodness.

 

happy things:  tomorrow is Friday. it looks like Jupiter Ascending will be in theaters for at least another weekend so I've got my plans for Saturday!  (beeeeeees!)  my dinner tonight (and probs my lunch tomorrow) was super delicious.  

[loveflyfree]

Day 27

 

M1: ham, banana

M2: mushrooms, peppers, onions, olives, garlic, shrimp

M3: chicken burger, fish burger, zucchini, eggplant

 

work happened and I'm sure there are happy things and things to make me smile and all that but tonight I think it's all on pause.

 

RIP Leonard Nimoy.  I've been crying on and off since I got home from work and ugh.  this has hit me really hard.  I've been a life long nerd, a life long STAR TREK nerd.  each time one of the original cast passes I'm devastated as though I was losing a family member.  so I'm just gonna go be sad for a while and worry about being happy again tomorrow.

[loveflyfree]

Day 28:

 

M1: fish burger, banana

M2: fish burger, raspberries, sardines

M3: mushrooms, artichoke hearts, shrimp, crab, mustard, vinegar

 

Day 29:

 

M1: mushrooms, artichoke hearts, shrimp, crab, mustard, vinegar

M2: steak, baked potato, sweet potato

M3: chicken burger, mushrooms, blackberries

 

I can't believe I'm almost done.  well you know with this portion.  I don't think I'll ever be done with changing my eating habits.  I feel great and I know I've lost weight (not that losing weight was really a goal, but it's a nice bonus.)  after tomorrow I'm going to start reintroducing foods and it's going to be interesting to me what tastes good and feels good to my body and what doesn't.  and then in a few months I'm pretty sure I'm going to talk my mom into doing this with me.  we'll see.  

 

happy things.  spent girls day out with Mali.  watched Jupiter Ascending again. (space werewolf angel!  BEES DON'T LIE.)  bought some new lipstick at Ulta.  made an appt to get my hair done this week.  ate delish steak for lunch.  wrapped up my house/pet sitting job and am finally home about over a week.  life is pretty good right now.

[loveflyfree]

May 30:

 

M1: chicken burger

M2: spinach, strawberries, mandarin oranges, almonds, cranberries

M3: turkey burger, avocado, green chili pepper, salsa, raspberries

 

guys.  I did it.  I actually did it.  that by the way is my happy thing.  I am super awesome and insanely proud of myself.