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Waiting for the Shoe (of junk food) to Drop


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Hello, friends!

 

 I'm looking for someone to tell me what I'm experiencing is normal.  Or, if it isn't normal, how to curb these feelings.  I am a few weeks post-Whole30.  I followed the program to a "T" and did very well.  I have no cravings for junk food.  I don't have highs or lows.  I have plenty of energy.  I have enjoyed a few non-Whole30 meals since completing my challenge, but nothing over-the-top.  Here is my issue.  I'm very unsettled about how easy it's been.  My entire life has been ruled by food.  And, typically, that would look one of two options.  1) I'm either "dieting" and feeling depressed about it, missing junk food, weak with cravings, hating my life, etc.  Or, 2) I'm not dieting, I'm eating everything under the sun, feeling guilty about it, feeling physically terrible, and hating my life, etc.  So, either way, my entire life, my food choices have made me feel guilty, deprived, and full of self-hate.  Now, post Whole30, I don't feel this way, and it is TERRIFYING me.  Hating myself because of poor nutrition choices is WHO I AM.  I don't know who I am anymore.  I don't know how to process my new way of life.  I don't understand not feeling deprived.  I don't understand not craving something.  I almost feel like I can't breathe.  I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop.  At least when I'm making poor nutrition choices, I'm in a place that is familiar.  And I can always tell myself "tomorrow I'll be better."  But now, I don't know what to tell myself.  I don't know what to think.  Or feel.  Or do.  Has anyone else experienced this?  I'm so terrified I'll fail and I don't know how to just accept this new way of life.  

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There's nothing to fail at this point. You've uncovered a new way of living. If you eat Whole30 style most of the time, riding your bike in a way you choose, that's it.  And if you stray from that path, you return to Whole30 eating.

 

It's really adopting a new mindset to what it means to eat for a lifestyle vs a diet.

 

Oh, and you were never the food you ate or didn't eat.  You were, are and always will be FAR MORE THAN THAT.  Maybe it's time you discovered the essence of the true, real you?

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You know what? - it's time to relax now.  

 

It sound like you might be stress addicted?  Read a great article Melissa wrote here :http://whole9life.com/2011/11/stress-addiction-1/

and then read part two: http://whole9life.com/2011/11/stress-addiction-2/

 

It's time to stop. now.

 

But know that it is really okay to feel like this for a little while.  But know this - you aren't doing anything wrong. It's time to embrace it.  maybe?

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The regulation of your hormones and cravings, the lack of major blood sugar swings causing emotional upset, the non existance of a reason to beat yourself up....that will all leave a void that probably seems weird and like it needs to be filled.  You needn't fill that void because it isn't one. It's peace.  The lack of noise, lack of hate, lack of emotional swings.  That is peace and not everyone gets it.  Cherish it, soak yourself in it. You created this for yourself, enjoy it!

 

The shoe won't drop.  And instead of telling yourself hateful things, tell yourself "I did this, I am content, I am beautiful, I deserve to be peaceful, I deserve to be happy, I deserve to treat myself well."  Any or all of those as often as needed.  :)

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I just cried reading all three of these comments.  Apparently I am a little emotional from this journey!  Thank you for the advice.  I think I'll print out these comments and keep them with me in my purse.  Something to help me remember when I'm feeling out of control.  And I'll go read those articles on stress right now.  THANK YOU!!

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I don't want you to be terrified of anything....especially food.

 

Somewhere along the line, what our ancestors used to do without batting an eyelash has become difficult or challenging for us in the modern age.    Eating three normal meals aday is not scary or something to be feared.   Living in a land of plenty, there are many others on the planet who would love to trade places with us for 30 days.  Given the chance for clean water and healthy foods would feel like their ticket to heaven on earth.

 

I give thanks and I am grateful for the Whole 30 - that reveals to us that we can return back to a time when we eating 3 meals a day is the recipe for health and success.    

 

Kudos to you for searching for the answers.

 

I know that over-restriction doesn't solve the problems of getting relief from food anxiety.  It is so worth it to keep breaking these cycles so that we can heal from behaviors and patterns that only put us deeper in the hole.

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I'm paraphrasing from memory, but there's this story of a seeker who, after a long, arduous journey, finally arrives at a Zen monastery for an audience with the master who lives within. He asks of the master, "Please tell me, master. How can my soul have peace?"

 

The master says, "Produce your soul and I will tell you."

 

This takes the seeker aback, and he says, "I don't know where it is..."

 

The master says, "There! It is already at peace. Just don't disturb it anymore."

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  • 2 weeks later...

Allie, I could have written your post.  My most recent Whole 30, which was the first time I did it right, was so easy.  Like you, I keep waiting for the unbearable cravings to kick in.  I did have some wobbles this weekend related to eating out, and I've been able to get myself back on track.  Again, so easy!  How can this be?  This sense of peace with food is such an uncustomary feeling.  I don't think it's related to anxiety, it's just like being in a really loud environment for several hours, then all of a sudden it's quiet.  All my life food has been an issue, suddenly it's not.  It will just take some getting used to.  Like Kirkor said, it's the new normal.  It will take a while to adjust. 

 

I do think it's important to realize that a slip back to old habits does not mean failure, it's just an opportunity to learn how to handle the situation that led to the slip.  I'm going to keep telling myself and eventually really believe it.  We have seen the light and realize that we don't have to be under the spell of food!

 

Congratulations to you on reaching this point - may we both continue to realize how easy this is! 

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