sevensundrops Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Turns out that I've been eating soybean oil all along. It's in both my onion salt and garlic salt. I have used both spices every day. I want to cry. It didn't even occur to me to read the labels because it's not a spice BLEND!!!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I'm on day 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And still, after all this work, I feel NO different. I've posted and posted on here, getting feedback and tweaking and fixing and obsessing over whether I'm doing this right and still nothing. If I have to start over then I'm just going to give up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators ladyshanny Posted February 13, 2015 Administrators Share Posted February 13, 2015 Oh, no, don't give up! Here's the thing, it is always your choice whether you are going to start over. See the link I have in my signature below. Unfortunately soy is a huge problem and one of the major ones we want to avoid for the duration because it is a hormone and gut disruptor. What I would probably recommend is that you keep going on your Whole30 only you end it 10 days later than you had planned. I know you're saying "still nothing" but don't forget that this is a 30 day program, not 10. And to be honest, for a lot of people, the first 10 days are usually a transition/adjustment process and there aren't a tonne of huge changes that come out of it. I know from some of your other posts that you tend to be an all or nothing sort of person and that you are struggling to make sure that you are changing behaviour at the same time. Please do not make yourself crazy with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevensundrops Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Oh, no, don't give up! Here's the thing, it is always your choice whether you are going to start over. See the link I have in my signature below. Unfortunately soy is a huge problem and one of the major ones we want to avoid for the duration because it is a hormone and gut disruptor. What I would probably recommend is that you keep going on your Whole30 only you end it 10 days later than you had planned. I know you're saying "still nothing" but don't forget that this is a 30 day program, not 10. And to be honest, for a lot of people, the first 10 days are usually a transition/adjustment process and there aren't a tonne of huge changes that come out of it. I know from some of your other posts that you tend to be an all or nothing sort of person and that you are struggling to make sure that you are changing behaviour at the same time. Please do not make yourself crazy with this. I know, I am very much all-or-nothing which I guess is not healthy to begin with but it's so hard to not have that approach when the SMALLEST slip up will ruin the Whole30. I just really can't afford another 10 days of this. I saved up for this Whole30 and I just feel horrible that I sabotaged the whole thing. And it's been unbelievably hard to have this diet in my life. I'm not sure if I want to give up because it actually is hard or if I just am lazy and want to eat crappy food to make me feel better. :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators ladyshanny Posted February 13, 2015 Administrators Share Posted February 13, 2015 I'm not sure if you should stop or keep going, only you know that. Depends, I suppose, on what your goals were at the outset. As far as budget and cost go, this can be extremely, ridiculously expensive or, in some cases, cheaper than what folks were spending before. Fancy, specialized things like coconut aminos or fancy cooking oils or fish sauce are not necessary for success. Canned fishes, ground meats, veggies and some fats are all that is required for success. If "grass fed" and "organic" don't fit your budget, that's fine too, it's not a requirement. http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/25231-how-to-make-the-whole30-cheaper/?hl=budget#entry265800 http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/25225-getting-back-on-track-without-breaking-the-bank/?hl=budget http://forum.whole9life.com/topic/21528-affording-whole30whole9-lifestyle-on-a-budget/?hl=budget One more thing. You did not "sabotage" your Whole30. Sabotage implies intent to destroy. You made a mistake, an oversight. Did you possibly slow or taint your reset? Yes, unfortunately. Is there still value in continuing? Absolutely yes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jent103 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Crappy food won't actually make you feel better. Ask me how I know. Like ladyshanny said, it's always your choice whether to start over. And I totally get that depending on what kind of food you're used to, the Whole30 can be much more expensive than lots of grains and beans, although there's lots of advice here about how to mitigate that. In your case - you've already committed to 30 days, at minimum, so there's really no decision you have to make just yet. Try your best not to keep evaluating constantly as you go - this sounds like a broken record around here, but it's a 30-day program for a reason. Take it a day at a time, and see where you are at day 30. Replacing your onion salt and garlic salt is a minor cash outlay for the rest of your 20 days (pure onion and garlic powders might be a safer bet!). If, on day 30, you are completely broke and Over It, you've still learned some valuable things about how to feed yourself. If you're feeling great and think "I really want the best Whole30 I can get," add some days on. Either way, you're getting value from it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlaccini Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Awwww Seven - I feel bad for you. But know this - the last 10 days have not, are not, and will never be at loss. Why? Because you are doing so well otherwise. You made a mistake - we all have. Really. You are not alone in this. My first whole 30 I noticed that I was at least 10 days behind the time line. I don't know why I was 10 days behind the timeline (Well I do have my suspicions, but that's all they are suspicions) but nevertheless I was 10 days or more behind the whole 30 timeline. So I added another 15 days - so my whole 30 became a whole 45. I was okay with this. Was it an obsessive move - well maybe. But I think it's because after about 22 days of sheer exhaustion I started to feel better. And even in that exhaustion I felt better than my previous normal. Now I'm a little like you. I am an all or nothing type of personality. And that's fine. It works for me. I make it work. Can it be stressful? Yes. Can I be obsessive? Also yes - at times. And yes I drive myself bonkers in my head. And yes some of my stress is also self induced crazy self talk. Let's try to rationalize here. Did you purposely, or knowingly eat soy? No. Not until now. Failure or sabotage would be realizing and knowing you are eating soy but continuing to eat it anyway. You realized your error. And yes now you feel like you are foolish. But trust me you are not. On my first whole 30 I ate peas. At least 3 times. Not realizing they were off plan. Does this mean my entire whole 30 was bogus? No. Why? Because I learned so many things about my body and what the wrong foods were doing for it. My negative self talk mind seemed to calm down. The two things that feed it I have found - sugar and soy. So take a deep breath. Do something that you love and relaxes you tonight. And carry on in the morning. DO NOT let perfection be the enemy of good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeadowLily Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 sevensundrops....do you know what your goal is after your Whole 30? Are you planning on a reintroduction directly afterwards? Your strategy after your Whole 30 will help you reach a decision. Some folks plan for a food explosion on Day 31. It starts raining taco chips. If potato chips and ice cream won't be sweeping you off of your feet...and you'd like an accurate read for your food reset, you'll know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevensundrops Posted February 15, 2015 Author Share Posted February 15, 2015 Hi everyone, Thank you all for your advice, responses, and support! After a lot of thought and discussion with a supportive friend then I've decided to stop attempting to do the Whol30. It's not because I think it's unhealthy or even impossible. It's because for me it triggers a lot of toxic thinking, anxiety, and fear. At this point in my life journey I really can't handle that kind of stress and legalistic thinking. I had a Coke Zero (my favorite!) for the first time in two weeks and it was heaven. SO worth it. :-) But I'm going to try to continue to eat Whole30 meals (protein, fat, veggies), while allowing dairy and the occasional added sugar. I'm also not going to worry about eating fruit. I'm STILL going to eliminate grains, legumes, and "chronic" sugar consumption. But this girl ain't gonna freak out if there's sugar in her BBQ sauce. :-) And I'm going to have a glass of wine after a long week. And I'm going to make chocolate-avocado ice cream pops to eat while I binge-watch Friends. One day I'm going to do the Whole30. Maybe even a Whole45. And I'm going to be calm and happy and not weigh myself. And I'm NOT going to eat soybean oil. But for now, this is where I am. Best of luck to ALL OF YOU on your Whole30 journeys!!! Thank you all for the short-lived but still wonderful time! ~ Sevensundrops Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlennR Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Even-keeled, smart, non-toxic, non-perfectionist, calm decision. Good for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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