Prep Amidst My Family

[Claudster]

I am starting the Whole 30 on Monday, March 2, and I have support from friends both local and online. But I can't "clean out" my pantry because I live with a spouse and two kids who are absolutely not going to do this with me. Has anyone else been able to get started and stay successful surrounded by uncooperative family and unhealthy temptation? Any advice and encouragement is much appreciated. Convincing the fam to come along for the ride is definitely not an option.

[Carlaccini]

I don't have kids but I do have a spouse.  Now although he is very supportive (he's not paleo), he wasn't so much in the beginning.

 

He basically eats what he wants, whenever.  I think his biggest fear that I was going to make him eat like me and therefore I would take away his bread and pasta (Canadian born from Italian parents).  Since we were big into meal planning before, it wasn't a huge stretch that we would agree on a dinner main, and then he could have whatever side he wanted.  So for example: we made butter chicken as a main, and he had it over rice and I would have it over roasted squash.  We would make burgers, and I had it with no bun, and homemade condiments, and he had it with a bun and with a combination of store bought and homemade condiments.  There has to be a middle ground.  If your husband complains - he is an adult he can always make his own dinner.  His choice is not to eat what you are eating.

 

The biggest thing that you have to (and you seem to have) is accept that they are not along for the ride.  I never ever requested or specified that food was "not allowed" in the house.  Because doing a whole 30 was my own choice.  Not my hubby's choice.  But mine.  So I could not ask him to change his eating habits because I was changing mine.

 

The only thing I asked him was please not to eat off plan foods in front of me for the first 2 weeks.  He did remember to comply most of the time - but at times he forgot. 

 

Now I understand this might be harder with kiddos - as there probably will much more other stuff floating around.  But when they see someone setting an example, they sometimes want to follow.  Depending on how young they are, it will be a good opportunity to involve them with mom's yes, and no list.

 

Best of luck to you.  And yes this can be done.  

[evaq]

I fully sympathize but and am going offer a bit of a tough love angle: Your life will always be surrounded by temptation and choices. Make a commitment to your health, your mind, your body and own it. I understand that you can't purge all the non-compliant stuff out of your home, but maybe find a compromise. Move all your food in the fridge to a specific area/shelf so you're not constantly faced with temptation. Ask for your kids/husband support - even if they're not doing whole30 with you, it's important that you have everyone's support. Whole30 is meant to repair our relationship with food, not weaponize or cause division among family members. But food is complicated. Sigh. Family members often feel emotionally threatened or rejected when you chose a different food or way of eating (than theirs). Plus, full disclosure, it IS more work when not everyone eats the same. But they need to understand that this is important to you and your health.

 

Carlacinni had a great suggestion about "layering" or building your meals together so there would be compliant and non-compliant options. This is the way I entertain any friends who come over for a meal. I make a grain or have bread, as a side to my meal.

 

That said, I live alone and still have all my chocolate, peanut butter, butter, sweets and all kinds of non compliant items around (I love to bake). I look at it, but it honestly doesn't tempt me. I know I'm a weirdo. It must be all the years of baking for others.  And when I go to my mom's to make our weekly family meal (for 5-10 people), I'm always making something non compliant for everyone (it's too much of a struggle...and too complicated to convince/cajole/force otherwise). I just set aside some ingredients so I can adjust my meal to be whole30. Since I'm the cook, I can make the food rules and ultimately everyone's happy.

 

Best of luck and I know you can do this. *Fist bump!*

[Hannlib]

My family are cooperative and my husband joins in but my kids don't do whole 30 so I buy and serve them plenty of non compliant food. It doesn't bother me. Well, I did sniff my daughter's yogurt the other day (and it was ick, I don't even like yogurt!!!) but I'm not tempted as such. I'm pretty rule focussed though. I find it makes me very mindful of not licking my fingers when I'm prepping their food or mindlessly eating the leftovers off their plates. Mine are only little and they do eat whole 30 dinners because that's what I cook. But I sometimes do them extra bits on the side and they still eat cereal/ toast/ biscuits/ dairy etc. But none of that stuff really interests me.

I think it makes for a stronger whole 30 to have all these things in your face and resist them! You are less likely to fail the first time you see a loaf of bread ....

ETA my cupboards and fridge are organised so that non compliant stuff is separate. But really that's more for my husband's benefit than mine.

[ladyshanny]

Love Hannlib's comment about having it there and being strong in the face of it anyway, I agree!  Then it becomes your DECISION not to partake, not just incidental because there is nothing non compliant in the house.

 

My hubby eats what I cook but I have never forced this on him either, if he wants rice, pasta, bun, bread, cookies or what have you, he is welcome to buy or make them, it affects me not at all.  The Whole30 was my personal choice and his desires have no bearing on that. 

[Sheena812]

I have a husband and 2 kids who are not on the plan. I determined at the beginning that there was no excuse for not staying compliant. I keep most of my food on one shelf in the fridge and one in the pantry. That way I am not digging thru their food for mine. Luckily my 2 kids are old enough to cook for themselves and my husband will eat most things I give him for dinner.

Tonight we had Chocolate Chili. I had mine with green beans, he had his with cheese and tortilla chips.

[Rebe_J]

I feel blessed...or lucky in this area.

 

My husband (reluctantly) went along with the program the first time 'round, just to be supportive. The switch to W30 eating was an enormous change in diet for him. His typical former breakfast was Cheerios with sugar and milk; lunch was balogna sandwiches.

 

As it turned out, he benefitted as much if not more than I did. The best part --> He's sold on the Paleo eating plan for life....with occasional splurges for special occasions and while traveling. (He's 71 and takes no medications.)

 

This time, I did the W30 on my own; he ate basically the same foods, but supplemented his meals with some non-compliant foods: oatmeal, paleo treats, some condiments, etc.