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Courage for Courtney: A Life Changing, Whole30 Experience


courtielouise16

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Hello fellow Whole30ers!

 

So. This is it. My first Whole30 and the first day to the rest of my life. I could not be more excited and yet petrifiedly nervous at the same time.

 

A little about me...

 

The hard facts: I'm 24 years old. I live in Central California. I'm a student and an inspiring Entrepreneur and am planning on doing amazing things with my life.

 

The soft facts: I would say I'm an optimist, yet depressingly hard on myself. I would say I admire and believe in living a completely chemical-free and organic lifestyle, yet I shovel my face with junk time and time again.  I would say I value the strength and health of my brain first and foremost, yet my thoughts are becoming foggy due to crappy food and crappy television.

 

Some of the harder, hard facts: I'm 5'6 and 178 pounds.  I was known as the "skinny, tall girl" growing up until puberty hit. ...Well that and I discovered Midnight Milky Way bars and became way too addicted to the Sims.  Ever since then I've been on an eternal battle with food. I say "I'm bored", Reese's says, "why don't you hang out with me?" I say "I'm sad", chicken nuggets say, "I can help get your mind off things!" I say "I'm stressed", Target mini 12-pack of cupcake's say, "Forget about it with us! ...every ...single ...one of us." Such a love hate relationship: I love them, I hate me.

 

Some of the hardest facts I've ever had to admit: These last past weeks I've been doing excessive research. I've asked Google, "why do I keep falling back into old habits?" "why am I stuck?" "why does food control my life?" Which brought be to site after site of food addiction programs.  ...Who me? Addicted to food? Is addiction not reserved for people who have such unhealthy habits in their lives that they are completely consumed by it 99.9% of their lives???

 

...............Wait. Pause. Reflect.

 

...Well then.

 

Fellow WHole30ers.  Let me reintroduce myself:

 

My name is Courtney and I am addicted to food... and I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous to you.  It has taken every last bit of courage I have to admit this to you, let alone myself.

 

That brings me to Whole30.  Like any other form of addiction what is required to overcome it is 100% pure abstinence from the drug and I'm not taking any chances. I need to restructure my brain into desiring healthy foods and resuscitate my taste buds into enjoying these foods again. Whole30 promises that. And I'm promising future Courtney that too.

 

So with that said, one simple note to future Courtney:

 

I love you. I know this takes some time for you to admit but you above all others deserve your own love. This is why I am doing this. So you can stand taller. Smile brighter. Have the courage to relentlessly pursue your dreams. And heck, maybe even feel confident wearing the clothes the little in you fashionista in you wants to wear.  But above all things:  Know that your life is owned by you and not by food.

 

Keep strong future Courtney, you've already accomplished great things. Now what else can you add to the list?

 

Love,

Present Courtney

 

To all that have read this post and have related or emphasized or felt maybe just a little bit: Thank you. Your support is a crucial aspect in this journey and I would love to hear anything, anything at all, you wish to convey with me. I need you. I need your kind words, knowledgeable advice and COURAGE to get through this.

 

And lastly, this post was just as much for you as it was for me, my love. Remember to be good to yourself and have the courage to pursue the best version of yourself. And as my cheesy life motto goes: "She believed she could, so she did."

 

Until next time when the actual details of my journey begins!

 

With all my heart,

The Courageous Courtney

 

 

 

 

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I love you both, courageous and present Courtney, and whole30 may become a lifetime journey for you as it did for so many of us. It took me longer than 30 days to get my brain reset, it's an individual path we all take, and up to each of us to decide whether we are ready to take off those training wheels and ride that bike. Remember it's a process... Not a quick fix :)

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