Absolutely desparate-out of control


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I am fat and totally unhappy. I eat too much, and I drink too much. I am unable to exercise at the rate I am used to as I am getting a new hip in about 6 weeks. I am post menopausal and struggling to lose weight I have gained this last year. I have complained here before-I apologize. I lost about 25 pounds in 2013 with this plan with about 10+ hours of exercise a week. Lost last year to a sick husband and a new puppy both of which are no longer an excuse.

I understand that this plan is for health which I love. It is not designed for weight loss. Please help me design it to do so for me as this is high priority. I have tended to be 90% compliant on average which should result in at least weight maintenence. I have gained all the weight back +5 and I am just sick.

Yes-I can do another whole 90.

I wish this plan was one that you could "go off" for very special occasions and not have your system just go bonkers-that is what mine does. Now I seem to gain 100% more weight for going off plan vs pre-W30. Body just sucks up the carbs and blows up. I was not this sensitive before. Anyway....

I would love input on how to keep the W30 flavor and twist it to a weight loss plan. Reduce portion size a bit? Decrease the size of dinner?

I am just desparate at this point and I know I am not alone. I have been on WW, Jenny Craig,you name it. I will not be able to "purge" through exercise like I am used to.

Please forgive me if this seems not an appropriate question. I almost pressed the WW visa card # to rejoin as I have been ther before and struggled there as well. At least it is geared towards weght loss BUT feeds into a bit of obsessing for me. I am totally obsessed with getting healthy and being as light on my joints as possible. AND have a relationship with food that is not adversarial. It has been food vs me all my 56 years.

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I'm so sorry you're suffering so much right now. 

 

W30 is all about finding out what works best for each of our unique bodies through a process of elimination and then reintroduction. There is no one size fits all, and therefore there cannot be one size fits all advice. For me, I've figured out that the template works great for me and that I feel good and lose weight best if I keep fats to the lower end of things and eat plenty of starchy veg, especially with meal 3. And so this is the way I eat now. Permanently, with occasional limited off road eating a couple times a month, max. I learned after figuring this out through trial and error that this fits pretty well with a prescribed "paleo code" for hypothyroid, which I have.

 

You're correct that food should not be the enemy. When you say your system goes "bonkers" when you off road, what specifically are you referring to? Do you thoroughly enjoy one special occasion meal and then get right back to template?

 

Are you willing to dive back into W30 and do the long sustained work of figuring this out for yourself? W30 seems to work best for people who take what they learn from the first month or so and apply it to revolutionize the way they eat for the long haul.

 

Whatever you decide to do I wish you the best of luck!

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I can feel your stress just reading your post. deep breath, good health is your birth right. The weight loss **should ** follow naturally. I know you mention being post meno, is there anything else going on, ie thyroid, that could be preventing the downward movement in the scale you want to see? I know stress itself leads to weight gain and difficulty losing weight. Have you found any effective stress management? I'm a big believer in therapy,either professional or a trusted friend who will tell you the truth. it is so hard to see food as the enemy. We need to nourish ourselves but so often we punish ourselves with it

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Posted 09 July 2012 - 03:21 PM

My biggest tip is to be prepared at all times. To me, eating per whole30 guidelines is EASY when compliant foods are in abundance and forbidden foods are nowhere to be seen. I'd never choose something I used to eat like mac n cheese or a frozen meal over a huge slow cooker full of pulled pork and a salad of mixed greens with homemade dressing. But if I didn't have the latter foods...I'd eat the crap in a second. In fact, in the beginning of my whole30, my cravings were always for bad foods but as long as I never let myself get ravenously hungry, I never had them. Cook plenty of leftovers ahead of time, buy lots of food containers, know where to get food out in a pinch, and have fun! This isn't about deprivation, it's about indulging in an abundance of health promoting foods. 
Johnny 
Check out my recipe blog below. Many are Whole30 compliant or easily adapted. All are delicious.

Eating for Idiots
 
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Posted 13 July 2012 - 10:39 AM

 
If you adhere to the rules, it's pretty hard NOT to lose at least some weight. In my experience with Paleo and Whole 30 especially, 
I've realized that the more I focus on trying to lose weight, where I can cut calories or whatever, the more I yo yo. I've been focusing more on just really eating to balance my hormones, which in turn balances my appetite, which in turn seems to be balancing my weight and body comp. Oh yeah, and if you approach it like this, you don't feel like you are dieting. You feel like you have achieved peace within your body. For me, that feeling is nothing short of miraculous. 

I've been experimenting with eating maybe one piece of fruit a day and already feel a change in my clothes. I get a CSA delivery and the beautiful fruit that's been coming with it just hasn't been worth passing up. As long as I keep it in moderation and don't eat it when I am having a sugar craving, I seem to be doing great. 

If you don't feel you are losing weight, you can remove nuts/fruit, which seems to be a trick many people use to drop some pounds. I have decided to just focus on not overdoing the sweet stuff but making sure to keep myself satisfied. Once you find your sweet spot, it should all balance itself out in terms of fat loss and what not. 
I'd like to echo the other piece of advice that you just have to totally accept that YOU ARE DOING THIS. Once that switch goes off in your head, you accept that you have no option to fail. I commend you for planning ahead for your trips and asking for tips---these are all signs that you've flipped the switch. 

Good luck and let us know how you are doing.   :) 
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Posted 14 July 2012 - 06:49 PM

I really think if you follow the Whole30's guide on how to formulate meals, you'll have the best luck with weight loss. It's in ISWF and I think it's on the website somewhere too. It basically gives you the three meals a day (roughly how much protein, fat, veggies and fruit) and how to handle the snack thing. I think it is very important to break the snacking/over eating cycle if you want to lose weight and a great way to do that is to plan filling, well-rounded meals and then allow 4-5 hours between them. 
I, personally, notice that changing my carb intake dramatically impacts whether or not I will lose any weight. That being said, that does not mean I zero carb it at all. It just means that I use sweet potatoes wisely (as in after intense exercise) and I am reasonable with fruit. And reasonable does not mean being afraid of it.   ;)
 
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Posted Today, 06:20 AM

When you finish a Whole30 and then eat things that don't work for you, the answer is not doing another Whole30. The answer is taking what you learn from a Whole30 to establish a menu that works for the rest of your life. What I am hearing is that you do well during a Whole30, but you are not applying what you learn works and does not work to how you eat in your ordinary life. The area for you to work on is not so much the Whole30 as reintroductions. And given how many challenges you report facing, you probably need to work on the slow roll version of reintroductions.

 

http://whole30.com/2...roduction-roll/

 
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Tom Denham sizes it up better than anyone.   

 

There's not a weight loss program/organization out there in the world that can accommodate off-roading for any length of time without consequences.     When we do any kind of plan for 30 days and return back to the same patterns of eating or lifestyle that brought us here or 'there' in the first place, the same kind of rebound weight gain will happen.   Our minds may require a year or more of conscious, mindful eating to pull our plane out of a tailspin.    It doesn't matter if it's the WW or any other organization..none of them are immune to rebound weight gain.  If we could afford a health spa where every meal was prepared and someone was standing guard at the kitchen, took our car keys and the gates were locked....it might make the process less work but it would still require working through old thought processes.

 

There are people in this world who can afford that and guess what?  It doesn't work for them either.   Their rebound weight gain is just like everyone else's.  It doesn't matter if they can stay in the fanciest digs for months on end...once they leave there, thrill eating and rebound weight gain finds them, too.   We all have to face ourselves in the mirror.

 

The Whole 30 teaches us to be mindful of our food choices.   We are required to step up to the plate and fight our way through cravings, snacks, binge and thrill eating.  The want and desire has to be our own every single day. 

 

Whatever processes you've used in your past,  to be dedicated to exercise ...those thought processes that catapulted you out of bed to run every day - you're going to have to reach back and use that kind of motivation towards your food choices.  Time to pull yourself up by the boot straps and get back in the game.

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Thanks everyone,for the responces. I appreciate everyone's time. Started again today for the umpteenth time. I think this is about as rocktom as I plan to get. I can do this as I have done it in the past. I will follow the template and be frugal with fruit.

I won't be putting in the volume of exercise as in the past but I can do something daily.

I also plan to start a journal of sorts to record my meals and exercise.I also want to record my feelings as well.

So sick of fighting the food thing and the way it makes me feel. I can almost feel an immediate change in my affect for the worst when I eat crap. I sure had hoped at this point in my life I would come to some kind of truce. It looks like I will be monitoring this the rest of my life.

So I will be doing the temp!ate for an indefinite time. At least 6-7 weeks till the hip surgery and the after.

I know the first week will be the hardest to get the sugar out of the system.

I have used these forums over the last 2 years and will continue as life changes but taking care of yourself does not.

I have put myself last long enough.

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Cheers for a successful Day 1, Cayenne!

 

I can't tell you the best strategy to lose weight, but I can tell you the best ways to sabotage your weight, in my opinion:

 

  1. Snack between meals. Your digestive processes won't get a break, and the hormone glucagon won't be released, so your body will use the calories you just ate rather than going to your fat stores for energy. See It Starts with Food for a really interesting explanation of the science.
     
  2. Eat too little at meals. This will result in snacking later, on less nutrient dense foods or worse, non-compliant junk. Bonus: You will feel like a failure for being unable to resist that snack.
     
  3. Eat too little fat. This will result in you getting hungry before your next meal, see above.
     
  4. Eat lots of nuts, nut butters, fruit. This is hard on your stomach, heavy on inflammatory omega 6, and can be Food Without Brakes.
     

Again, this is just my two cents. Your body will shed weight when it is ready and not before. For many people, eating MORE will lead to this sooner and eating just a wee bit too little will stall your progress.

 

Good luck, we are all rooting for you!

 

Also, a very timely blog post from Melissa Hartwig on just this subject: http://whole30.com/2015/03/dear-melissa-change/

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Cheers for a successful Day 1, Cayenne!

 

I can't tell you the best strategy to lose weight, but I can tell you the best ways to sabotage your weight, in my opinion:

 

  1. Snack between meals. Your digestive processes won't get a break, and the hormone glucagon won't be released, so your body will use the calories you just ate rather than going to your fat stores for energy. See It Starts with Food for a really interesting explanation of the science.

     

  2. Eat too little at meals. This will result in snacking later, on less nutrient dense foods or worse, non-compliant junk. Bonus: You will feel like a failure for being unable to resist that snack.

     

  3. Eat too little fat. This will result in you getting hungry before your next meal, see above.

     

  4. Eat lots of nuts, nut butters, fruit. This is hard on your stomach, heavy on inflammatory omega 6, and can be Food Without Brakes.

     

Again, this is just my two cents. Your body will shed weight when it is ready and not before. For many people, eating MORE will lead to this sooner and eating just a wee bit too little will stall your progress.

 

Good luck, we are all rooting for you!

 

Also, a very timely blog post from Melissa Hartwig on just this subject: http://whole30.com/2015/03/dear-melissa-change/

Far more than two cents....valuable and priceless.

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Hi Cayenne

 

I can relate to your post on so many levels.  You see - although I am still in my thirties - I have the knees and hips of a seventy year old (so I've been told).  The cartilage wear I have in my joints is pretty bad. Less than 50% in some areas.  Doctor blamed my weight as the main issue.  (I have been overweight pretty much my entire life) 

 

Because of this - I am not terribly active - Don't get me wrong, I still do activities and refuse to let the pain ruin my enjoyment of play, but don't do anything I don't enjoy.  5k walks do happen regularly.  But I'm more about - let's do movement that is enjoyable but not too stressful on my hips and knees.  So I guess what I trying to say is - if you don't enjoy running - then don't.  Find something else that you might enjoy better.  If you enjoy running - then go for it!

 

I have also maintained a 35lb weight loss.  I am still considered "overweight" by many people's standards - but I AM healthy overall despite the joint issues.  

 

You mention that you are wondering how to maintain this type of lifestyle long term outside the whole 30.

 

First I had to recognize that for me personally "everything in moderation" is complete BS.  I am an all or nothing personality type.  So if I am going to live a whole 9 life - there has to be rules.  I do very well with black and white rules.  Everyone is different in this department.  So while whole 30 gives me a foundation to work on - it is not the answer for everything. 

 

Only you can make up on your rules based on what information the whole 30 gives you.

 

Food is not the enemy of you.  Your relationship with food is.  There cannot be any guilt associated with food choices.  Either a food will make you more healthy or less healthy.  That is all there is to it.  Follow the whole 30 meal template.  Don't eliminate starchy carbs.  Really don't.  Your body still needs them.  Especially if you are active.  They will also keep cravings at bay.  Also don't underfeed yourself - you will sabotaging yourself by doing this.

 

Best of luck to you.

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Thanks again guys!

I have always wanted to be the kind of person I hear about that can have 1 oreo, or just a few-insert goodie here- and can trust myself to know when enough is enough. I want to trust myself around junk food and maybe have " alittle". I have come to the understanding that I can't, don't and will always be fighting cravings.

I love to run and to give it up soon is really stressful-I KNOW there are much harder things. All I have to do is look at my 1 legged hubby who just finshed his first 5K saturday. Maybe that is part of it-I get pissed at him for being so gracious with this loss of his while I am so pissy about mine:)

I use long distance running, biking for stress relief and not being able to do that has ratcheted up the stress eating.

So far so good today. Good solid breakfast and lunch. Pre workout of 1 boiled egg and post of celery adn carrots as I like the crunch. Chicken salad for dinner.

No wine:)

Had to go out and buy fat clothes -I donated a bunch a year ago never thinking I would use them again. Dammit.

Relentless forward motion.....

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Ah, the old abstainer vs moderator thing.  Check out this article, it's a good one that describes why people who are abstainers really can't moderate themselves.

 

http://www.gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

 

I'm a through and through abstainer, moderation is a disaster for me!  

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Hi Cayenne,

 

Don't think of it as "fat clothes" - please don't.  Just think of them as clothes that I will feel/look better in at my current time and place.  

 

I went through a pretty stressful period early last December.  My partner had a heart attack.  He is fine and well now - but the episode did give me a lot of stress. I put on about 6lbs in a week.  And yes I did eat more sugary sweet things than normal (kind of a normal stress response) but it wasn't crazy by any extreme of the imagination. But since I was so stressed my body just sort of held onto everything and anything I gave it.  My jeans at this point were fitting snug. So although I knew this was only temporary - I bought a pair of jeans a size up - because they fit better, and I felt more confident wearing them. Rather than wearing something slightly too tight and made me feel uncomfortable - I wore something that fit.  I did not allow guilt to be part of the decision.  My body was reacting - simply how it's supposed to.  Now those same jeans are hanging off of me/need a belt to keep them up.  I'm not doing a whole 30 presently either.  It's just that my stress levels are coming down again and my body is returning to normal.  So yes stress under certain circumstances will cause you to gain weight rather easily.

 

My normal whole 9 living does allow for "life" to get in the way.  My rule of thumb is - when eating at home - I will be compliant as possible. I will definitely be paleo, but not always whole 30.  When eating at friends/or restaurants - I will decide what is "special" ahead of time.  For instance going to an Ethiopian restaurant I am going to taste and enjoy whatever, but if it's a steakhouse or a regular restaurant - I'm going to stay as compliant as possible.  Dairy is NEVER worth it for me. Wine is sometimes worth it.  But not often.  

 

Store bought goodies such as oreos - not special.  Somebody took the time to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies?  You bet I'm having one.  My mother-in-law spends a day making lasagna from scratch (including the noodles) I'll usually say yes to a small piece. These things are "worth it" to me.  After your whole 30 you need to make your own list.  And yes there will be times that you just feel like having "x" - then just have it.  Make a conscious decision to have "x" and do not let guilt in after.  Take a trip to see your friend, or a trip to see your parents - but do not take a guilt trip.

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Good feed back everyone!. I certainly appreciate all the hints and suggestions here. Carla, I was  "there" a year ago as far as discussing with myself what was worth it or not. As you know, health scares are more than frightening. They tend to make you change what you have thought for the future. I think for a long time, I was grieving that loss of what I expected  our future to be like. Took a while to change lanes, so to speak. And then to not be able to use my normal coping methods-no surprise weight gain was the result.

I do have to let go of the fact I can "taste" things that I know spiral me down. I have to be an abstainer. Just like crack to a crack head. Staying healthy take a lot of effort but well worth it. I am trying to get back on the "I'm worth it " bus.

But anyway...had a good stir fry last night after riding the stationary bike for 60 min, then walking the dog.

Day 3 it is.

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Just read the article, ladys, and that was a good one! Really helps to know that it isn't a character flaw that I can't stop when I start. And it is a relief just to NOT... not eat that, not buy that etc.I do realize there are very special occasions that just enjoying something is  a good thing-but it has to be worth it.

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Ah, the old abstainer vs moderator thing.  Check out this article, it's a good one that describes why people who are abstainers really can't moderate themselves.

 

http://www.gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

 

I'm a through and through abstainer, moderation is a disaster for me!  

Lady Shanny,  I'm pretty sure that I'm an abstainer when it comes to trigger foods.  A famous trainer said to frame your favorite food and hang it on the wall.   The thinking is that it lets you know it's always there and won't disappear.   There's no way that would work for me.  It would be the visual that launched a 1000 ships and trips to go buy one.  The Whole 30 tells you to get the triggers out of the house.

 

I think we inherit, learn or absorb all or nothing behaviours from our family/relatives. SWYPO's don't satisfy the urge for the real thing.  They keep the cravings constantly stirred up in the mind.  Example: fruit and nut cereal SWYPO with coconut, almond or cashew milk.  

 

Sugar...here and there wouldn't work for me.  All desserts are basically made with 3 ingredients: sugar, flour, butter or oil.  The forms look different but it's all the same.  All forms jack up the need for more sugar/flour combo.  I'm an abstainer.  I own it and I've made peace with it.  

 

I am not Trigger Happy. Triggers have never made me happy.  The consequences of falling back into triggers are no longer worth it.   Like Pavlov's dog that came running for a sugar/fat/flour hit.....every single time,  you can teach any dog of any age - new behaviours.

 

You may have to come to the crossroads in life with a health scare.   That's human nature. You're much further ahead if you don't wait that long.  I've thought about binge or thrill eating during these past 9 months.  If it was really alright to accept it as a part of life and roll on with it - why does it detour the dreams of children and adults.  Children start opting out of activities with their peers, adults do, too. 

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So I have made it 3 nights without wine! I think it has been a year since I even wanted to do that. Good for me. It may be 8 weeks before I get the new hip, not 4. EEKKK! That will hurt BUT it gives me another month to be as healthy as I can be to heal up faster so not totally a bad thing.

Thanks guys! Lets keep it rolling forward....

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Well, today may be a real challenge. I didn't sleep well at all with back and hip pain. Put on some compression shorts about midnight and that helped. 4:30 rolls around mightly early. Then, I took out our dog who is recovering from spay surgery and still on leash for safety. She yanked me hard 4-5 times and then finally yanked me into a tree where I scrapped up one arm and bruised up the other. Good grief.

What is upsetting to ME is it is getting harder and harder to "run". This activity is a huge stress reliever, what I identify with re self esteem, and gets those endorphins moving. I sure would like to have something to replace it with that is outside but maybe that wont come till after the surgery. I walk, but that hurts while I do it. Running hurts more at night. I ride a stationary bike and swim, lift weights but that doesnt help my "soul" like being outside etc.

I will figure it out.

No wine x 4 nights!

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