Posting

[SaraRuns]

Happy, happy Birthday!  I hope you accomplish your goals!  It appears to be a beautiful day!  And nourish, nourish, nourish!

[mcjule]

A day late but happy birthday Beets!  I hope you took good care of yourself!

[Beets]

A belated thanks for the birthday wishes. Can't believe it's been that long since I was here. 

 

I won't try to recap the last few months. Suffice it to say that the healthfulness of my eating and self-care has been up and down. Again I'm in the place of feeling the need for a whole, but feeling like the fall calendar is tricky. This weekend is apple picking. File this place's cider donuts under "worth it." Right now just trying to put in a couple weeks of solid self-care and good nourishing meals. 

 

I started exercising again in earnestness. I did the bare min of my ballet workout in the weeks leading up to our beach vacation at the end of summer. Vacation: eating and exercise went out the window. Then September was madness--we had only12 days of school. (Started on the 9th, lots of holidays.) I had strep. Was also crazy because my son started at a new school and before the bus started up I was getting two kids to two different schools, in the midst of city commuter traffic.

 

I worked all summer getting my son into this school. I had much anxiety about it. Very few spots open for older kids and I really had to get in touch with my inner mama bear to claw our way in. When I got the call--3pm the day before school started--I was screaming "am I dreaming???!?!?!" and yelling and pinching myself and my kids thought I lost it. It's public, but something like 90%of kids opt out of testing and there is a big focus on hands-on learning.  I love my son's teacher. They've already had two field trips, one of which was a hike through the woods this week. 

 

Also it has become apparent that my son has some kind of significant processing issue wrt reading. Perhaps dyslexia, though I am told this term is no longer used as a formal diagnosis. Good news is his current school has a lot more support for learning disabilities and kids with attention issues. "We love hyperactive boys!" - school psychologist. 

 

It's kind of heart breaking to think my son won't grow up and be a man with the pleasure of reading. But I'm hearing lots of stories about kids who get through it and turn into readers. Also I need to deal with my kid in reality versus my fantasy version of my kid. 

 

Anyway. My husband isn't traveling nearly as much and I don't have that hanging on by my fingernails feeling I had in June. 

 

I'm eating too much sugar and it must stop. I also can't fit into my pants, but it's getting better. I didn't notice so much because in the summer I wear mostly wrap skirts and dresses and then: yikes. 

 

Anyway. I'm trying to stick with a schedule so I will try to catch up with you all later. 

[pjena]

Beets!  It's so nice to see an update from you!  I find September crazy, too.  It's a whirlwind.  It sounds like you found a wonderful place for your son to thrive, though, which will hopefully make the 2 bus thing worth it.  My 13yo's (14 next week!  Ack!) best friend really struggled with attention and reading.  He's in 8th grade now, getting straight A's (though with a lot of work, but that is a good thing) and loves reading.  There is hope.  And, I actually think he'll have an advantage in the future over my son.  My son never had to work at anything.  It came so easily.  His buddy had to struggle to learn how to learn, how to work hard and how to advocate for himself and those skills will stay with him forever.  Hang in there! 

[SaraRuns]

Glad to see you stopping by.  September tends to be crazy with new schedules, but so glad you were able to get your son into a school that sounds like an awesome fit for him.  Totally worth the craziness.  And it sounds like the school is going to work with you on his reading issues, my fingers are crossed that he can still find a love for reading.

 

As for food, exercise, etc. - hope you find a sustainable path!

[Beets]

Thanks M for writing me a note. Made me log on. Been thinking about it. 

 

Had kind of a rough year, nothing major or significant. Just difficult. Feeling better now with some extra sunshine and seasonably appropriate weather. (That week of early March 70s was a little too much too soon.) 

 

In early Feb I was thinking, this is my month! Sunny and cold, I had a burst of energy and can-do spirit. Then I broke my finger while walking the dogs. At the urgent care center, the doctor asked my age and told me my bones were getting brittle. Wut. I didn't think that would happen till I was 70! A doula/midwife in training friend recommended I start drinking different herbal teas. At a follow-up visit with a hand surgeon I got good news (bones not brittle) and bad news (I have a most likely not cancerous tumor in my finger bone).  It's my left hand--and I'm left-handed. 

 

The fracture is healed now. I have surgery scheduled 4/15. I want to start a whole in the next week. I'll have to prep a mess of meatballs and stick with easy to prep veggies. 

 

Hope everyone is doing well. 

[Beets]

REAding over a few logs I have some thoughts. I hate this period where I'm not sure how to climb out of bad habits and I spend way too much time beating myself up and making negotiations with myself. 

 

I am driving to OH to see a friend over my kids' April vacation and I want to be done with the whole before then. So I have to start next week. I've been doing much better today than some days. I've been doing my ballet workout at home and it really does seem to slim me out fairly quickly. Last year I chucked all my larger pants in a fit of optimism and I've been washing and wearing a limited number of pants that don't quite fit me. I'd love to get back into the smaller jeans I bought last year. I can't zip them now. 

 

More so though I want to get out of this feelings of limbo. I'm waiting for the point at which I make the decision to make the decision. When 2pm strikes and I'm starving and eat something off plan I think, oh well, I guess I'm not starting today so I may as well [have a bite of pasta, have a glass of wine, eat chocolate, eat chips]. I've moved away from chocolate even and have developed a bad candy habit. Whenever I food shop I'll buy licorice--the "healthy" "organic" kind--and eat it all in the car. This is no good. I keep thinking of my mom who at some point starting keeping a back of gummy candy in the glove compartment. That is not a place I want to go. 

 

In the fall at some point I started having a cup of black tea with stevia every afternoon. That's my one true crutch these days. In the winter I started eating a cookie (gluten free, artisanal, box of store-boughten shortbread, all of the above) along with my tea and ended up only fitting into my blessedly stretchy leggings. 

 

I'm forcing myself to fantasize, reminisce about pork meatballs, sautéed cabbage, kale and chicken thighs, carrot slices dipped homemade mayo. 

[LadyM]

BEEEEEEETS!

 

Welcome back, friend.

 

We've all been there. Many of us are right where you are now, in fact. There's no shame. Only rejoicing in the fact that Whole30 is a tool we can return to again and again--and trust that it will get us to the better versions of ourselves we know we're capable of embodying. 

 

Here's what's working for me this time around. I was having the same hemming and hawing about whether and when to do a Whole30. Then I realized I'm an old hand at this and I may not need a full-on 30 days and that, in fact, any number of days I could string together would undoubtedly do me good. So, I just started. And you know what? It's making me realize how good it is (again) to eat real, nutrient dense food, in appropriate amounts, three times a day, and to get off the %*#&ing demonic sugar roller coaster that enslaves me. Yeah, I want to fit into my cute clothes again and quit relying on the two pairs of roomy jeans I can breathe in--but even more important than that is being able to live with myself again. You know?

 

That's shocking about the finger. Glad you discovered what it is and will be taking care of it.

 

Oh, and as you know, simple is good. Despite Instagram, no one needs to look at what you're eating but you. I had two crotch pots going at once yesterday and took care of my protein for the week. Bagged/boxed greens, sauerkraut, and a bunch of baked sweet potatoes are mostly doing it for veg. I'm coming out of a cooking slump, so this is what's working for me. Minimal chopping and finger involvement can be done.

[pjena]

Welcome back!!!!!

 

What M said - we've all been there (and may be there now).  I have found that when I post often, I do better.  When I stop posting, I fall into bad habits.  Stick around!

 

I'm sorry about your finger! 

[Physibeth]

Welcome back! I totally understand where you are at. A note on my feedback for advanced instructor training about improving my fitness level is what finally kicked me into gear. I'm going with a long term habit approach this time around allowing for planned eating out days where I try to stay the course after Day 30.

 

On the brittle bones...most research I have read says weight bearing exercise is the best way to build up bone density. Makes teaching BODYPUMP that much more important to me now that I've officially hit 40. 

 

You can do this! One meal at a time!

[mcjule]

Hi Beets!  We missed you!!

[SaraRuns]

Yay, Beets!  Always lovely to see you around.  I hope you have been able to convince yourself to stop hemming and hawing and just jump in.  Even if you don't do whole hog, you can aim for template meals and see if everything else starts falling into place.  I spent way too much time and headspace in January and February instead of just doing.

 

Good luck with your finger!

[Beets]

Thanks peeps. The hemming and hawing or headspace as you said so rightly Sara is the worst. 

 

Last week I made the ill-advised decision of waiting till after Easter (my parents offered to cook a ham, my last attempt at a whole-friendly leg of lamb Easter dinner was an expensive bust) and so of course spent four days eating total junk. In a way it's good bc I'm feeling completely repulsed by the lingering crappe in my fridge. 

 

But I'm in it now. Lady M, I wished I'd logged on and read your comment about not needing the exact 30 days for a good reset. Of course you've done this more than I have but it makes sense. Once I decided to wait till after Easter I looked at a calendar and realized I'd backed myself up against my planned drive to OH to see a friend. I'd visited her in Feb myself via plane and decided to drive back with the kids over their spring vacation. Continuing full-force when I get there won't work. When I last saw her, she was expressing frustration with planning dinner parties when everyone declares different foods to be off limits. I can offer to make a meal but after an eight-hour drive with my kids I don't see myself serving dinner.

 

So, yeah, short story: it's gonna be 28 days for me. 

 

I'm not going to torment myself over where to post. I'll post here. I hate having to explain my presence in the "real" Whole 30 forum. And I'm settled on it. 

 

Day 1
3 BB vids 
m1: sardines, kraut, black coffee

Feeling psyched to start. Stop the madness! My face is puffy and the sweets are no longer calling to me. Great 28. Doin’ it. I’m craving the calm, the blessed calm.

 

Pre-whole weigh in gave me a surprisingly high number. I don't weigh myself often and have pretty much broken off the relationship with scale as judge and jury. But I was surprised. I'd weighed myself last week and I'd apparently gained 6lbs in the last week! My clothes don't seem to be where the scale is. Maybe it’s just some kind of water retention. No scale for four weeks.  

 

Goals:
template template template
3 vids (or similar 45 min workout) a day, 5 days a week
other movement, walking, stairs
garden
meditate
sell my crap

[Beets]

And you are so right Jen about staying on here. I get out of the habit and then I get out of the habit of staying relatively compliant. I need my choices to be out in the open!

[Beets]

ugh i can't remember how to post a pic. (don't worry M it's not an instagram pic of my food!) *

 

*I do use instagram but not for pretty food pics.

[Physibeth]

Under more reply options for posting a picture unless its from a website then you use an image tag.

 

28 solid days is better than none and hopefully you can gain enough traction to want to do as best you can on your trip and jump back on the horse when you get back.

 

I'm personally trying to think of this much longer term this time around. 

[LadyM]

Love your goals. You'll do great! I look forward to following along!

[SaraRuns]

Great 28, love that!  Glad you are feeling good about this.  And yes, you definitely need to think calm!  Don't let that monkey brain go crazy.

[pjena]

28 days is perfect - you'll be glad you did it and will feel great when you go on vacation. 

Calm is always my goal.  In everything. 

[Beets]

Calm is a great goal, indeed! Sometimes seems not attainable but I'm working on it. I was doing pretty well with meditating in Feb but I fell off the wagon. Gotta get back to it. It makes such a huge difference, even with only ten mins a day. 

 

Day 3
Gonna take it easy today on the exercise. Knee feeling a bit pinchy and I don't want to do the thing I always do where I go gaga for exercise and hurt myself to the point where I can't exercise and then feel mad at myself. 

 

The air is amazing outside though and I spent 1.5 hrs in the community garden this am. Lovely spring day. Things are blooming early, it’s weird that it’s so warm in March, but this morning I didn’t care. Nice soft air, not too warm or humid just perfectly pleasant.

 

I got a plot this year (finally, after three years wait) and I am psyched to plant veggies. Though a little apprehensive since I have no clue how to deal with them. I know I’m planting greens since they grow fast and easily and I’m going to try some little melons, maybe pumpkins for the kids? Cucumbers? Radishes? Beans? We don’t eat many tomatoes but roasted cherry tomatoes are a delicacy.

 

Doing ok. Really wanted my (again habitual) glass of wine or a cocktail last night after getting the call from the school principal about my son’s bus issues. So frustrating. But I had some sparkling water and what was left of my now flat booch. (But when it was fresh—wow! Booch on tap is soo fizzy.)

 

M1: salmon and cabbage

M2: salmon and cabbage

M3: tuna and kale salad w almonds (from Israeli place, not getting crazy about oils)

I’m going to eat this in the garden this afternoon.

 

Not sure about m4. Still need to food shop and get some GREENS in my life but so far so good. I already feel leaner. Is that crazy? Even if it’s just in my mind it helps me push through.

[pjena]

I have a brown thumb but I love the idea of growing vegetables!  We always grow a few pots of veggies in the front yard mostly so that the kids realize that food grows from dirt not from the supermarket. 

[SaraRuns]

We just dismantled our garden.    So disappointing, but after three years of the birds eating EVERYTHING into the ground, we are going to take advantage of a local farmers' market.  But I love that you love the gardening.  Beans are fun for kids to pick and eat!  Pepper plants are nice - but are you off peppers, I feel like you are.

 

Your mind is leaner already, as you are getting out of your headspace and just doing!

[Beets]

"Your mind is leaner already, as you are getting out of your headspace and just doing!"  Truth! 

 

Been sticking with compliant foods, but not necessarily three template meals. I forget that I've been eating a lot of sugar and that the first week is always a little bumpy. Working hard to be less angst-ridden this time around and it seems to be making things easier. 

 

Yesterday we went to my husband's office so he could grab something from his office. Two doors down is a pigment store I'd never noticed before. There was a problem with the electricity so the lights were dim. Rows and rows of bags of pure color were glowing--all the colors of the rainbow plus metallics and just everything imaginable. You buy the pigment and mix with acrylic, oil or whatever base you want. What a dreamy space! The kids loved it. There was a place where you could try their custom-made watercolors (at a mere $80 for a tiny palette of six colors). What rich color. So beautiful. 

 

These were drawers of the little water color pans. The walls were full of shelves of these colors, like 5lb bags, in rainbow order. Wish I'd taken more photos. Will go back.

 

 

I was completely starving when we left. It was almost noon before I ate. I walked into a store in his work hood that I'd been to another time on a whole. Grabbed some salmon, sweet pots and a simple split pea soup. couldn't remember if we are allowed to eat split peas? Well, they aren't whole-30 compliant. I already decided a few months ago that I want to eat some beans. They are cheap, make me feel sated in a not gross bloated way, and don't bother me unless I eat piles of them exclusively. Plus they are a good part of a healthy gut diet, from what I've read (highly objective I know). 

 

I pretty much trust Chris Kresser who says this:

"In fact, cooking legumes for as little as 15 minutes or pressure-cooking them for 7.5 minutes almost completely inactivates the lectins they contain, leaving no residual lectin activity in properly cooked legumes. (2)



What’s more, other components in food (e.g. simple sugars) can bind to lectins and diminish their toxic effect. So even if there is a small amount of lectin left after cooking, it’s unlikely that it will have a detrimental effect given the presence of simple carbohydrates in legumes that can bind to the proteins. (3)



Finally, if lectins really are a problem then we’ll have to cut out a lot more than legumes from our diet in order to avoid them. It turns out that lectins are present in at least 53 fruits, vegetables, spices and other commonly eaten plants, including carrots, zucchini, melon, grapes, cherries, raspberries, blackberries, garlic and mushrooms—to name a few. (4)"

And:

Phytic acid (mg/100 grams)·

Lentils 270–1,500

Legumes (average) 500–2,900

Almonds 350–9,420

Walnuts 200–6,700

Pecans 180–4,520

Sesame seeds 140–5,360

Dark chocolate 1,680–1,790

Swiss chard 3,530

Spinach 3,670

Anyway. Peanut and soy bug me, limited portions of beans (especially in soups) don't seem to bug my stomach, energy levels or cravings. There was a point about a month ago where I was even considering going back to my old Mark Bittman "vegan before 6pm" thing that I tried a few years ago in conjunction with WW. LadyM I know you know of what I speak. Meat is so expensive (the good kind) and environmentally fraught. Then I remember how I fretted and fretted those points and how eating a lot of beans did make me feel bloated. 

 

Moving on. Today I've had salmon plus sweet pots and a spoonful of almond butter. Weekends are just tough w the running around and the kids home. I need a good old fashioned cook up this week. This week: on the goal of template template template and meditation.

[SaraRuns]

Love the pigment store, so fun!

 

I hope you were able to get some cooking done and are feeling the template!

[LadyM]

I've been contemplating pulses quite a bit myself lately. And yes, I waver, too, sometimes veering off into vegetarianismland. As I did last fall while living in a vegetarian community. I definitely need animal protein for best results. But I also think it does this body good to include, if nothing else, mung beans. Toying with the idea of bringing them back. I do notice, though, that if I don't get enough protein while veering onto that path I get pulled way off by my sugar/carb cravings. It's a delicate balance for me. Usually works best when included with my meal 3.

 

Love your photographer's eye! And that this is a compassionate return to the best things about W30 for you rather than a rigid self-hating obsessive experiment. Cheers the hell to that!