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The non-paleo spouse


CaseyD

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Austin...I don't understand your logic.

Choosing healthy food over unhealthy food is beneficial for your health, regardless of the percentage that you do it.

I think possibly he is referring to the idea/philosophy that while larger amounts of fat, high proteins and lots of veggies are a good thing, high fats with lots of processed carbs are not and could lead to gaining weight and other problems?

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Exactly slw600. Eating high fat and protein in isolation would seem to be ok, but my question was if you combine that with eating lots of sugar and carbs too, could it be detrimental? Some of the articles i've read would suggest that is could and I was wondering if anyone had opinions.

Renée Lee, I'm not suggesting that eating lots of nutrient dense vegetables could ever be a problem but perhaps when you have spikes in hormones from sugar intake, that then eating a high fat and protein meal could be an issue?

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Austin - My husband is similar to your wife. But I believe his diet is far better with my shift to a Paleo diet this year. He eats most of the dinners I cook and does snack on fruit and nuts since they are my preferred snacks to have around for the kids (and us), but he still eats typical grain and processed foods otherwise and has made no effort to change. Just not interested. I know what I make is healthy and I don't buy a lot of the processed foods we used to have in the home (but some still end up here). My family eats far fewer grains at home than they did before, and much of it is now gluten-free. I don't cook very high fat foods for our meals since I simply don't like the taste. My fats tend to come from meat, eggs and avocado or olive oil on a salad, instead of a ton of ghee or coconut oil added to my foods. So all in all my husband's fat consumption with my Paleo meals is very reasonable. As for the rest of his diet, he is a grown man and he makes his own choices. Unfortunately, I can't do it for him.

Good luck! Just stay strong and keep doing your thing. Perhaps over time, your wife will decide to join you. I'm not holding my breath for my husband to join me, but it might happen one day when HE decides he is ready to make some changes.

Susan

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A little bit of a different perspective.... I'm not married, and my bf came into the picture after I was already paleo, so this is how he "got me" and so it's different in that respect. But my children have grown up with my homemade everything.... Bread, donuts, etc. I made my own handmade pasta. And I will still on occasion make these foods for them. Food has connections for them just as much as it does us, and I know my family and friends would be devastated if I never made biscotti again. So while it's just food, and our families should be supportive of us, I know I need to keep in mind that my choices impact my loved ones in ways that they might not have been prepared for. So I try to "reward" them with the occasional treat...

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A little bit of a different perspective.... I'm not married, and my bf came into the picture after I was already paleo, so this is how he "got me" and so it's different in that respect. But my children have grown up with my homemade everything.... Bread, donuts, etc. I made my own handmade pasta. And I will still on occasion make these foods for them. Food has connections for them just as much as it does us, and I know my family and friends would be devastated if I never made biscotti again. So while it's just food, and our families should be supportive of us, I know I need to keep in mind that my choices impact my loved ones in ways that they might not have been prepared for. So I try to "reward" them with the occasional treat...

I get it completely! My husband takes the kids to Dunkin Donuts almost every weekend. Plus they get "tickets" after their Saturday ball games for the concession and always get candy or chips. Even at church they get muffins or cookies, plus fruit, after the service when everyone goes to the parish hall. And then of course there are birthday parties for their friends. I simply have to let these particular weekend indulgences slide or I will go nuts. My kids eat very well (but not necessarily Paleo) during the school week since I make breakfast, pack their lunch, help them choose after school snacks at home, and make their dinner. They eat far better than most kids do!

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Actually I have a question. I have mentioned previously that my boyfriend (who lives with me) has been fairly supportive. There have been some issues in the begining with him saying this whole 30 plan was unrealistic, and impossible. (Well I guess I proved hime wrong, hmm?) Recently (yesterday) my boyfriend got on my case about calories and the number of eggs I eat and how me not montering the calories I eat "couldn't be healthy and he was worried about my health" At this point - my final day 30 - I didn't want to particularly get into this conversation with him. I mean I have lost noticeable inches, my skin is clear, and goodness knows he's seen how even tempered I am. So WTH? Now he has always given me a bit of a hard time about the eggs because he was always been lead to believe that eggs = cholesterol. Even his doctor says it. And since he needs to take statin drugs for his cholesterol, he's convinced by the number of eggs I'm eating that I am eating bad food. (I am eating at most between 2 and 4 a day) I mean he even compared eating eggs to smoking cigarettes.

I have read him excerpts from ISWF with regards to eggs and cholesterol but it seems to have gone in one ear and out the other. If I had been getting reactions from eggs (like I have been getting from beef and porc) then I would say that maybe he was onto something. But I haven't even had one reaction. Now I kind of shrugged at all of this and kind of said well obviously something was going right as he could see the obvious results. I was just a little floored by the conversation is all. My guess is that he feels guilty about all the carbs he eats, and he is trying to convince me to go back to eating carbs. (which he is)

Sorry I hijacked the thread here. I just needed to vent a little.

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Sorry, with all my ramblings up above, my question was, do any of you find yourselves getting the 3rd degree for eating a certain type of food, or amount of calories you are eating, fat, etc from your spouse? I was wondering if this type of behaviour was normal?

Not from a spouse but many friends, family and strangers love to chime in without the knowledge of the plan or doing any research at all. I also have a lot of close friends and family and smart strangers that are supportive. I pretty much don't engage with the naysayers because I really don't like debating it and I cannot get into the science because I'm not "sciencey". Is it by any chance time for an annual exam that includes a blood test? That would be awesome if you had actual proof. I don't even tell my doctor about my eating plan as she simply glazes over, even though she sees my awesome numbers and many have improved. I have to say, it would be much more difficult with a significant other who lived with me. I feel for ya.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Mine is also not doing Whole30 with me, and hates most all vegetables, and says he's allergic to fresh fruits...if anyone has ideas there, I'm open! I just make what I want to eat for me, and he does his own sides. We always eat the same meat dishes though, and when he grills something he uses "my" compliant ingredients. And is impressed with how flavorful it "still" is, haha! He's now in love with clarified butter too, it's great on steaks and he uses the milk solids I skim off on his popcorn lol! He may be hopeless :)

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I guess I missed a few comments lol! I've gotten a lot of comments where people think I'm dieting (I have never dieted, ever), or am deprived, and then I post pics of my food on facebook, and everyone drools. It's the SAME food, I'm just preparing it differently and using more whole ingredients and no processed foods. I also have people not invite us out (did I mention all of our friends are alcoholics? lol), because of "that whole30 thing", or asking me when I can eat "real" food...hahahahaha! I'm eating more REAL food than anyone I know, so I have to laugh. I will say, everyone is fairly supportive, some even extremely interested in how I'm doing it. But some are completely off base about what it is, and some think it's crazy, but mostly our friends just want me to get sloshed again LOL! I will say, I don't miss the icky after effects. There is no way this isn't healthy, and I try not to argue with anyone about it, I just happily do my thing and try not to get offended.

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My boyfriend says the EXACT same thing about eggs and cholesterol... very frustrating! Especially because he is a DOCTOR and drinks 3-4 diet sodas a day, eats cereal like its his job, and chooses protein bars for breakfast (if he eats at all). I could literally vent for days about his eating habits. He also claims he isn't picky but every time I make a new veggie he says he doesn't like it... annoying.

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LOL! Rachael, I had to laugh...and he's a DOCTOR! Haha! Mine isn't, but claims his doctor told him 25 years ago that he's allergic to this and that. Mind you, I'm not disclaiming that at all, he IS allergic to watermelon and most nuts...and has sensitivity to fruit/veggie skins, etc., I just wish he would get a more updated opinion and stop hanging on to that old excuse. I kind of feel like it may be more of a taste and texture thing with the veggies, as he winces at the mere mention. Heck, I used to hate a lot of veggies too, esp when I was a kid. I've made some pretty awesome dishes though (like orange mash--cauliflower, squash and carrots all roasted, seasoned, doused with clarified butter and homemade mayo, then mashed just like potatoes) and he still says he can taste the cauliflower and hates it. Whatev. He's a meat and potatoes man through and through, and those two items make up 80% of his diet. The other 15% and 5% are beer and popcorn...in that order hahahaha! I'm just glad he's been accepting of a number of the healthier options in prepping and cooking our meats. I think it's made a small impression at least :)

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I KNOW! And every time we talk about anything nutrition related he thinks I need to hand over studies and start reading a nutrition textbook in order to back my info... I'm like "23 days in and I feel and look better than I ever have, I think that is proof enough for me!" I am the same way about veggies. I didn't really like cabbage or squash until I started roasting them and now I can't get enough!!! I'm hoping that when he gets less busy (he is currently in his chief year of orthopedic residency and on a crazy trauma rotation to boot) he will start to take more time in thinking about food choices and eat more of the yummy food I am making!

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I KNOW! And every time we talk about anything nutrition related he thinks I need to hand over studies and start reading a nutrition textbook in order to back my info... I'm like "23 days in and I feel and look better than I ever have, I think that is proof enough for me!" I am the same way about veggies. I didn't really like cabbage or squash until I started roasting them and now I can't get enough!!! I'm hoping that when he gets less busy (he is currently in his chief year of orthopedic residency and on a crazy trauma rotation to boot) he will start to take more time in thinking about food choices and eat more of the yummy food I am making!

Wait..you roast cabbage? Tell me how you do it. I've been just steam sauteeing it on my Cookathon day and then I fry it up in ghee or mac oil, but roasting sounds fun! I love all veggies roasted. :)

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Roasted cabbage is so great! Even cold leftovers :)

I slice a whole head into half inch to inch thick slices (some usually thicker and some thinner) then brush with ghee or olive oil then lay on foiled baking sheet and spice to your liking. I think just salt, pepper, and paprika is great! Roast at 400 degrees for 30-45 mins or until you reach a crispiness on the edges. Then devour!

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Am so doing that now!! I'm roasting almost all of my veggies these days. They just taste so much better. Pretty much just as Rachael said, I even add kale to the mix about halfway through roasting my other vegetables. I cut them up either by themselves, or any combination of squash, sweet potatoes, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, kale, carrots, onions, garlic cloves (I'll try cabbage next, but LOVE it stir fried). I just toss them in a bowl with olive oil, salt & pepper, and usually smoked paprika, sometimes even add an herb blend or fresh rosemary and thyme and spread them out on a baking sheet. On occasion I'll toss in some shredded coconut the last couple of minutes. Sometimes I'll put them in my food processor and puree them with clarified butter and mayo or coconut milk for that "mashed potato" feel. If I don't want to heat up the big oven, I just use the toaster oven since the bf doesn't like veggies. I cannot believe the explosion of flavor, and I love to layer poached eggs on top of the leftovers at breakfast :)

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  • 2 months later...

My husband isn't really doing this with me either. He eats what I make at home but he gets candy, drinks, etc at the gas station and he eats fast food fairly frequently still. He's in incredible shape so.... I guess it's up to him. He is super supportive of me though, which is nice.

The other night he had to go to the store to get some snacks for work. Usually he would ask me if I wanted him to get me a coke zero or something, that night he asked me if I want "like, a bag of carrots or something." Haha. It was cute.

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  • 3 months later...

He eats no vegetables except for white potatoes and corn on the cob ( he considered rice to be a veggie!).

I just don't think he understands what I am up against with my health and severe "bad food" addiction or how beneficial this would be for his health, too!

I tried paleo once before buying store bought and sugar filled ingredients because I was completely ill prepared, and it was expensive then. I also failed miserably at it, which ony added fuel to his fire. When I start buying actual clean meat and bulk fresh veggies, whoa!

I have hubby like yours! His saying: "I don't eat anything that grows from the ground (except potatoes) or swims in the sea". So, no fruit, veg, fish or sea food... which is about 85% of Paleo! lol So, we eat two completely different dinners and our kids eat a third. This works because the kids eat before he gets home and I'll usually eat with them (but not the processed crap that's the only stuff they'll eat - that's a whole other topic that I won't get into now!) and he just makes his own later.

He does complain about the price... but I just do it anyway! I buy the best I can afford. One thing I have found is that if I actually make a full recipe of something I can usually freeze 3/4 of it and so I have 3 meals in reserve for later. If you do that for one week a month (which will be a more expensive week!) you then don't have to buy much the following three weeks! lol

Initially his mom was kind of unsupportive as well, insinuating that the food I was eating wasn't healthy.

My husband likes to use this one on me... that food isn't very healthy! WTF?! It's PLAIN OL' FOOD! How can that be in any way UNHEALTHY?!

Sorry, with all my ramblings up above, my question was, do any of you find yourselves getting the 3rd degree for eating a certain type of food, or amount of calories you are eating, fat, etc from your spouse? I was wondering if this type of behaviour was normal?

Yes, I do.... and I think it's because it makes other people uncomfortable. They feel guilty for eating things that I "can't" have. Or, they think I'm weird and don't know how to deal with it. My hubby doesn't care about calories... he'd prefer to have me go back to eating all the crap he does.

Mine is also not doing Whole30 with me, and hates most all vegetables, and says he's allergic to fresh fruits...

I'm in the same boat! (see above)

(like orange mash--cauliflower, squash and carrots all roasted, seasoned, doused with clarified butter and homemade mayo, then mashed just like potatoes)

That sounds good! I'm going to have to try that!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Okay, my husband has been mostly supportive through my post-W30 life thus far. Until this weekend.

Suddenly, my needing to be gluten free was MY FAULT (since I obviously WANT to have massive stomach aches every time I eat gluten). I was trying to make him have to figure out the GF pizza crust that he'd suggested we make when having friends over this weekend. MY FAULT that I can't eat gluten now, and that gluten free flour isn't like wheat flour and just...wow.

I hate being the bad guy (we really do have a great relationship and it's not like this is bringing up some other issue or anything) here, but I feel like I really can't give in. This isn't just "I don't want to eat gluten" - this is "No really, I will feel like I'm being stabbed if I eat gluten" so, therefore, I can't go get tested for antibodies for sensitivity/allergy/Celiac's testing that would require me to eat it and feel stabby until the test comes back possibly with a false negative because I really can't stomach it at all.

He has a blood relative with Celiac's and his younger brother is thriving after removing gluten from his diet too. Why am I somehow a horrible evil person?

*sigh* Anybody else?

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I am going to play the devil's advocate a little bit here. Personally, I have never tasted gf pizza dough that was even close to being good. They may exist but I have not found one so I go without unless my friend fires up her wood fired pizza oven..so its worth it. I only get a gurgly stomache though so I totally understand why you have banned it. If it were me, I would have made (or have hubby make) a regular pizza for guests and hubby and a cauliflower pizza for myself. Or...I would have cooked a prime rib or some other such thing for everyone. :)

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He wanted pizza and has tweaked the Bob's Red Mill mix to be decent (parm. cheese added and other compliant flours). It actually turned out great. But the whole fact that it HAD to be gluten free because of my stomach aches...aargh!

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