Arrrrgh! Venting...sorry...

[lillivewire87]

I am probably making this worse than it is because I started my period 5 days early, and being in the first week of whole 30 I am totally more emotional than usual it seems like.

 

We are currently living with my inlaws at their insistence while we search for our own home.  I was originally planning to just make meals for my husband and myself...which is difficult enough as it is...but my mother-in-law decided she wants to "do it with us"... 

 

Even after taking the time to sit down and explain the rules, and why they are rules...she breaks 90% of them.  Mostly because she was born and raised in the LOW FAT NO FAT BAD FAT DIET IS GOOD era....and she doesn't want to read the book, and isn't really into the philosophy but wants to lose weight. "Just a little bit of my creamer is ok because I'm not adding sugar"  "Just one can of diet coke is ok, because I didn't have sugar in my coffee this morning." Don't get me wrong, I love my mother-in-law, and she would give anyone the shirt off her back...but it is super frustrating to have to cook all the meals because she won't cook compliant, (She asked if she could do the cooking one night and I gave her a compliant recipe for zoodles and meatballs...ended up with honey in the pasta sauce...even though I reminded her no sugar "it wasn't sweet enough for Brian (my FIL)and honey is all natural) My hubbs can't cook unless it is a BBQ and we definitely don't have weather for that, so he is mostly doing it with me because he eats what is set in front of him for the most part.  Basically, it has left me cooking all the meals for everyone...dinner I don't mind, but having to pre-prepare breakfast, lunch, and dinner on top of a full time job is pretty exhausting and frustrating. 

 

I also really don't feel like I can tell her I need to stop making food for all of the family because she and my FIL will not accept rent from us....rock and hard place. And contemplating going home and cooking ANOTHER meal is making me want to cry...

 

Telling myself to buck up buttercup and be grateful that my inlaws are pretty wonderful people!  Thanks for letting me vent!

 

Hope everyone is having successful Whole30's!

[ShannonM816]

I'm sorry you're frustrated. Unfortunately, you can't make someone else do a W30. For your own sanity, something you might consider doing is preparing just dinner for everyone else, and just do your own breakfast and lunch. I think surely they'd understand that, especially if you're at work at that time.

 

Or you might decide that right now isn't the time to do a true, strict W30. I think if you make as many meals as you can stand to, but don't stress over the rules on the meals you can't control, that's not a bad thing. Not 100% W30, but better than not doing anything. Maybe give your MIL some recipes but don't argue if she alters them (unless there's something you know you react to, then be very specific about your need to avoid that). If you do the best you can, I think you'll be in great shape to do a real W30 when you do get your own place.

[chezjulie]

I can relate somewhat because my husband is doing it with me, but also not wanting to read the book and not being compliant on everything. So I am in the mindset that I am trying to do a Whole30 by the book, and he is eating clean while adhering closely to the Whole30 foods list but not entirely. That makes me feel a lot more peaceful than stressing out because my husband is still putting milk in his coffee. Instead i feel grateful that he is eating so much better than usual.

 

I agree with ShannonM816 that cooking three compliant meals every day for a family of four (when they are not even sticking to the plan) is crazy-making. Can you just officially make compliant dinners, and then have some things around that they can use to fix compliant-ish breakfasts and lunches if they are wiling? Like I've stocked up on hard boiled eggs, lunch meat, cooked shrimp, salad fixins, nuts, and fresh fruit that my husband can use to fix meals for himself when I'm not cooking. That might not be the eating culture in your family I understand.

 

Good luck!

[KayKay]

Wow, that sounds really frustrating. I have to agree with Shannon -- this might not be an ideal time to start a W30 if you can't control your meals. I would stick to Paleo as much as possible and in a few months, when you're settled in your own house, try again. No use stressing yourself more than necessary right now. Good luck, whatever you decide!

[NadineW]

I am with you all the way.  My husband and I had to spend the day traveling and he was like I want to do the whole 30 with you.  So I spent the whole day explaining everything to him.   I gave him the book to read (which he did not).  He was all in for like all of 6 hours the next day.  He modifies everything.  He won't follow the rules, or read the book.  He thinks that if he just has meat and veggies for his meal that everything is perfect in his mind.  Then he has tons of milk in his ice coffee and chips at night.  He thinks because he gave up pasta and bread that he is the big winner.  I gave up by the end of his (fictional) second day.  I was talking to a wall.  I just have to prepare my meals special at the same time I cook for the rest of the family. 

 

It is very frustrating BUT remember why we are doing the whole 30.  For our health!  You are worth it so don't let the rest of the world hold you back from being the best you can be.

Hang in there.

Nadine

[SpinSpin]

Nadine--what about making your meal and then make sides that your family would eat along with your complaint meal? Make hamburgers--let them have buns and you could have yours on a bed of lettuce and various hamburger toppings? Tomatoes, pickles, onions, mayo and the like? Taco night--the same thing, they could have theirs in shells and you could have yours as a taco salad or in lettuce leaves? Would something like that work? 

[CaGirl]

I say make whole 30 meals and let the family eat them.. None of this separate meals for each individual… What they eat on their own time is there gig.. Meal time is Whole 30  time.

[MrsStick]

Other ideas that are pretty easy for non-Whole30ers to eat:

 

Beef stew (make sure they don't coat the beef in flour to thicken - you can always just boil a few potatoes into it and let them thicken it up) or beef roast

Ribs (dry rub, toss in crock pot, serve the sauce on the side) - I just had these last night, served with mashed sweet potato and mixed frozen veggies

 

Taco beef goes really well with sweet potato too. Mmm.